Was told to, "Go back to Mexico". . .
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I'm posting this here because I need a safe place to vent.
Basically, my bf's parents went out of state to visit his Grandparents in California. His parents asked the two of us to watch over their home and feed the cats. They also allowed us to sleep here if we needed to.
Now, his older sister was allowed to stay as well, but could under no condition have guests or throw a party.
My boyfriend and I are both 22, his older sister will be turning 24 very soon.
I should also mention that she has given her parents a lot of trouble. She was fired from her job over the summer, and even though she claims to be looking for a new one, all she does is party instead. She relies on her parents for everything, gas money, rent and they now have to pay her car bill. Her parents keep insisting that she get a job because they literally can not afford to keep paying for everything.
With that said, this is what happened last night:
My boyfriend and I came over to feed the cats with the intention of staying the weekend. We live a
Iittle more than half an hour away, so we figured we'd save the gas money.
When we walked inside we saw the remnants of a party (beer cans, wine bottles, tequila bottles, and so on) and there were a man's pants on the floor and we could hear several voices from the upstairs.
His sister comes down, and we're pretty upset because she went against her parents direct wishes, but we diddn't say anything to her.
She then begged us not to, " tell mom and dad" and went back upstairs.
Unbeknownst to her, they had asked us to tell them immediately if she threw a party or had anyone over. They really don't trust her. So, I did what they asked and sent her mom a text.
My boyfriend's mom called me, we talked about it outside, and she decided to give us enough time to get started on dinner before she called his sister.
Well, she calls and immediately his sister come down stairs and starts yelling at us for being "tattle-tales". She starts insulting my boyfriend calling him a "fu$$**! retard" and telling him to go "fu$* himself".
Now, how many of you have sat idly by while the person you love the most is being verbally assaulted?
No, I did not hurl insults back at her, nor did I cuss or use any foul words, but I did state that this is what her parents wanted us to do. That we were simply obeying their wishes.
She replies by telling me that I'm an immature little girl.
This is where I lost it.
I have worked incredibly hard for the past four years, putting myself through college, paying ALL of my own bills, (rent, car insurance, electric, water, clothes). Everything that I have I HAVE BOUGHT THROUGH HARD WORK.
I promptly replied, that both my bf and I are younger, more mature, and leading better lives.
Then she asked why I even cared, why was I involved? I said again, that it was what her parents wanted. She said, "this isn't even your house!"
I told her it wasn't hers either.
That's where she told me it was, "more mine than yours, B!tc*".
My bf then told her to eff off, and the argument ended for the night.
Her and her friends left, my boyfriend and I stayed.
We were woken up this morning by a text from his other sister saying, "wtf happened" and telling us to check his other sister's fb.
Lo and behold there is a status rant saying that I'm a "low blow co$! sucking wh*re".
I deigned to reply at all. But she continued to post comments telling me to go back to Mexico, that she was going to murder me, that I was going to "DIE!", and that she would've kicked my *kitten* that night, but I'm "psycho and would've pressed charges", and to just wait and see.
Now, I believe these to be empty threats. However,I was a wrestler in high school and know how to defend myself, if need be.
Her parents know everything and have told me that I was in the right and that they love me.
My boyfriend has since told her that he will never speak to her again, to never contact him again, and that she is dead to him.
She's not a good person by any means. I've got so many stories of where she's failed before. But, I never thought that she would do or say these things.
I did not resort to name-calling or cussing. I have refrained from contacting her since I saw what she posted.
It just really hurts that she resorted to racism, and that she let the argument go so far.
Not to mention the fact that I'll probably have to see her at family functions. . .
Basically, my bf's parents went out of state to visit his Grandparents in California. His parents asked the two of us to watch over their home and feed the cats. They also allowed us to sleep here if we needed to.
Now, his older sister was allowed to stay as well, but could under no condition have guests or throw a party.
My boyfriend and I are both 22, his older sister will be turning 24 very soon.
I should also mention that she has given her parents a lot of trouble. She was fired from her job over the summer, and even though she claims to be looking for a new one, all she does is party instead. She relies on her parents for everything, gas money, rent and they now have to pay her car bill. Her parents keep insisting that she get a job because they literally can not afford to keep paying for everything.
With that said, this is what happened last night:
My boyfriend and I came over to feed the cats with the intention of staying the weekend. We live a
Iittle more than half an hour away, so we figured we'd save the gas money.
When we walked inside we saw the remnants of a party (beer cans, wine bottles, tequila bottles, and so on) and there were a man's pants on the floor and we could hear several voices from the upstairs.
His sister comes down, and we're pretty upset because she went against her parents direct wishes, but we diddn't say anything to her.
She then begged us not to, " tell mom and dad" and went back upstairs.
Unbeknownst to her, they had asked us to tell them immediately if she threw a party or had anyone over. They really don't trust her. So, I did what they asked and sent her mom a text.
My boyfriend's mom called me, we talked about it outside, and she decided to give us enough time to get started on dinner before she called his sister.
Well, she calls and immediately his sister come down stairs and starts yelling at us for being "tattle-tales". She starts insulting my boyfriend calling him a "fu$$**! retard" and telling him to go "fu$* himself".
Now, how many of you have sat idly by while the person you love the most is being verbally assaulted?
No, I did not hurl insults back at her, nor did I cuss or use any foul words, but I did state that this is what her parents wanted us to do. That we were simply obeying their wishes.
She replies by telling me that I'm an immature little girl.
This is where I lost it.
I have worked incredibly hard for the past four years, putting myself through college, paying ALL of my own bills, (rent, car insurance, electric, water, clothes). Everything that I have I HAVE BOUGHT THROUGH HARD WORK.
I promptly replied, that both my bf and I are younger, more mature, and leading better lives.
Then she asked why I even cared, why was I involved? I said again, that it was what her parents wanted. She said, "this isn't even your house!"
I told her it wasn't hers either.
That's where she told me it was, "more mine than yours, B!tc*".
My bf then told her to eff off, and the argument ended for the night.
Her and her friends left, my boyfriend and I stayed.
We were woken up this morning by a text from his other sister saying, "wtf happened" and telling us to check his other sister's fb.
Lo and behold there is a status rant saying that I'm a "low blow co$! sucking wh*re".
I deigned to reply at all. But she continued to post comments telling me to go back to Mexico, that she was going to murder me, that I was going to "DIE!", and that she would've kicked my *kitten* that night, but I'm "psycho and would've pressed charges", and to just wait and see.
Now, I believe these to be empty threats. However,I was a wrestler in high school and know how to defend myself, if need be.
Her parents know everything and have told me that I was in the right and that they love me.
My boyfriend has since told her that he will never speak to her again, to never contact him again, and that she is dead to him.
She's not a good person by any means. I've got so many stories of where she's failed before. But, I never thought that she would do or say these things.
I did not resort to name-calling or cussing. I have refrained from contacting her since I saw what she posted.
It just really hurts that she resorted to racism, and that she let the argument go so far.
Not to mention the fact that I'll probably have to see her at family functions. . .
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Replies
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It's too bad things went this far, but you cannot allow her rants to control you. The longer you hold on to it, the more control she has over you. Continue to do what you believe is right. If the threats continue, you might want to report that. Although you can "defend yourself", it shouldn't have to come to that.
By the way, best wishes to you, your boyfriend, and his family. Hopefully, the sister will come to her senses soon!0 -
Some people just never get out of high school. If she wants to be an immature spoiled brat, then let her. One day when she calls you begging you for money, you can politely decline because she doesn't deserve it. Good on you for being better than her.0
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It's too bad things went this far, but you cannot allow her rants to control you. The longer you hold on to it, the more control she has over you. Continue to do what you believe is right. If the threats continue, you might want to report that. Although you can "defend yourself", it shouldn't have to come to that.
By the way, best wishes to you, your boyfriend, and his family. Hopefully, the sister will come to her senses soon!
I agree with this. Good on you for taking the high road (as much as possible in this situation).
If she continues to post verbal threats, don't respond, don't post retaliatory messages on your own page/status...but do document and report.
I wish you and the bf the best of luck!0 -
Eh ... is it any surprise that someone of that calibre resorted to racism?
You did the right thing at every step. I probably would have stayed out fo the argument at the house but then again I wouldn't beat myself up for jumping in.
At this point it's incredibly important to be the bigger person. Do not drop to her level, ever. Don't even feign compassion because that would be patronising. Just react how a reasonable person should react.
Chin up. Sometimes in life you just have to take out the garbage.0 -
I'm sorry! I will give you a hug over the internet.0
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Do you have any idea how bad it makes a person look when they post those stupid rants on facebook? makes them look very very stupid. Some people may laugh with them or say "yea, you showed them" but mostly they dont mean it. Its very easy to show your ignorance. I sure hope you aren't worried over that child, its not worth it. Telling people to go back to countries - "go back to Mexico, etc". is hundreds of years old. Maybe people will stop saying that one millinium. smile, be happy.0
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Don't let her get under your skin, shes not worth the time or energy. Happy holidays0
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Wow, makes me glad there was no facebook when I was 15- 25 years old... I had 2 stepbrothers, a stepsister and a brother and our fights usually involved a little damage to the house....Well someday you will laugh about it , but if you become part of the family no one is going away....You wil have to get along or keep hate inside you that will not be good for you in the long run...
Just ignore her, she is immature right now....0 -
It's too bad things went this far, but you cannot allow her rants to control you. The longer you hold on to it, the more control she has over you. Continue to do what you believe is right. If the threats continue, you might want to report that. Although you can "defend yourself", it shouldn't have to come to that.
By the way, best wishes to you, your boyfriend, and his family. Hopefully, the sister will come to her senses soon!
I agree with this. Good on you for taking the high road (as much as possible in this situation).
If she continues to post verbal threats, don't respond, don't post retaliatory messages on your own page/status...but do document and report.
I wish you and the bf the best of luck!
Thanks for the advice!
I now have screen shots of everything she's said.0 -
I'm sorry! I will give you a hug over the internet.
I like hugs.0 -
Oh and Merry Christmas! :-)0
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you are a better woman than i am..i would have snapped on her in an instant..im sorry you had to go thru that, but you held your ground, and did the right thing..she means nothing to you, so just enjoy your christmas with your boyfriend, and try to get it out of your memory..best of luck, have a wonderful weekend0
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you are a better woman than i am..i would have snapped on her in an instant..im sorry you had to go thru that, but you held your ground, and did the right thing..she means nothing to you, so just enjoy your christmas with your boyfriend, and try to get it out of your memory..best of luck, have a wonderful weekend
Well if she marries her boyfriend she will be her Sister-In- Law....uhhhh right?0 -
She sounds mentally ill. She is 24 and is acting like a 12 year old. Her rage at you is misdirected.
You can't give ANYTHING she says any credence. I am sorry she hurt you.0 -
Are you sure she's 24? >_> For real.
-huggles- You handled that very well. I would have flipped and stabbed a betch.0 -
you are a better woman than i am..i would have snapped on her in an instant..im sorry you had to go thru that, but you held your ground, and did the right thing..she means nothing to you, so just enjoy your christmas with your boyfriend, and try to get it out of your memory..best of luck, have a wonderful weekend
Believe me it took every fiber of my being to hold myself back.
I've been part of a debate team for years, I'm heading to Law school in a year. I LIKE arguments.
I just don't like arguing with idiots. That's the difference.
And yes, ChrisStoney, my boyfriend and I do have plans to marry, but not any time soon. We're thinking after law school.
So, eek there will be more of her for plenty of years to come. . .0 -
That was what I was trying to say... you are more mature than she is, probably by like 10 years... hopefully she will grow up!0
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good for you, for not cussing and insulting her. let me do it for you, "que vaya al diablo la cabrona!!!"0
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I love how she threatens to beat your @$$ but then says you are the psycho because you would report someone assaulting you to the police.0
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She's got nothing else to insult you with, hence her resorting to racism. You know where you're going, and she knows her path as well. Ok, she's HOW old and not paying for anything, and still throwing parties at her parents house?? I would be embarrassed as hell if I were her. You've got this hun.0
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