I'm still in love with my Ex boyfriend

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  • cruiseking
    cruiseking Posts: 338 Member
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    Go down to the pawn shop tomorrow, and get your self respect out of hock. The rule is ONE shot. If you f that up, too bad. The most important person in your life, is you. This guy sounds like a total superficial jagoff. Find somebody that respects you, for you. Don't waste your time on revenge, and trying to gain the upper hand, just move on and forget him. Your life will be better for it.
  • cruiseking
    cruiseking Posts: 338 Member
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    One more thing; he saw you at the gym, then texted you; and your response is that you are flattered. Are you a fruit to be picked from a tree? Think about it.
  • Lostpounds2
    Lostpounds2 Posts: 13
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    First of all you have accomplished quite a lot for yourself. As hard as it is let him move on you are wonderful without him. My daughter struggles with the same things over guys and she is 26. The right one will come along when you are happy with who you are. He was your first but the best is yet to be!
  • DizzieLittleLifter
    DizzieLittleLifter Posts: 1,020 Member
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    Don't respond to his texts for a while. He needs time to think over what he's missing. If it's you, then great. If not, then you're that much closer to breaking away and making yourself available for the real Mr Right.

    NO to give him time...time for what?......if you want...go get....life is short...if yopu want him or it or something...either just go get it...or forget it

    I fully agree with this. However don't let him think you are desperate needy, or become obsessed. Just shoot him back a text and take it slow.
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
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    I'm long-time married, but one thing I think would make dating simpler and more straight forward: When considering someone new make sure he has ended one thing, before starting another. It's NOT a good sign that he is texting you while involved with another woman. This may sound old-fashioned, but it's a bit of insurance against being hurt.

    screw the fear of "being hurt" sitting around wondering "what if" is much worse.

    Oh, so you are saying that it's okay to snarf up an old boyfriend while he's involved with another woman? How very noble of you! Most of us are here because we fall prey to instant gratification too easily. Taking up with an 'ex' falls in that category to me, particularly if he has a GF. If her 'ex' wants her, he has some cleaning up to do before she should act on her impulses. So, it's not 'screw the fear of being hurt.' It's 'live with integrity, and good things happen to you.'
  • beautyreaps
    beautyreaps Posts: 151
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    Personally, I find the biggest regrets in life come from all the things you DIDN'T do. The things you questioned in your mind with "maybe?", "..right?"and above all "What if". If you love him then tell him. Then you'll know and not have to wonder. I don't think you should read into him talking to you as still being in love with you, because that doesn't mean he is. He may just want to befriend you, since you were such an important part of his life from before. The best way to find out is to act; ask him and he'll answer.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    I'm long-time married, but one thing I think would make dating simpler and more straight forward: When considering someone new make sure he has ended one thing, before starting another. It's NOT a good sign that he is texting you while involved with another woman. This may sound old-fashioned, but it's a bit of insurance against being hurt.

    screw the fear of "being hurt" sitting around wondering "what if" is much worse.

    Oh, so you are saying that it's okay to snarf up an old boyfriend while he's involved with another woman? How very noble of you! Most of us are here because we fall prey to instant gratification too easily. Taking up with an 'ex' falls in that category to me, particularly if he has a GF. If her 'ex' wants her, he has some cleaning up to do before she should act on her impulses. So, it's not 'screw the fear of being hurt.' It's 'live with integrity, and good things happen to you.'

    uh....wow...I dont think I ever used the word or even had the thought of "snarf" anything. But hey....you go ahead and judge and whatever...but...huh...relax
  • grobbygru
    grobbygru Posts: 295 Member
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    Trust me - in 20 years (sooner if you are really lucky) you will be thinking 'what the hell was I thinking???'

    lmao maybe... but that seems like a long time... im only 22 now lol

    What I mean is - it's a journey and eventually you will learn not to sell yourself short to these kinds of people. Take Cruisekings advice - it is good!!!
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
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    I'm long-time married, but one thing I think would make dating simpler and more straight forward: When considering someone new make sure he has ended one thing, before starting another. It's NOT a good sign that he is texting you while involved with another woman. This may sound old-fashioned, but it's a bit of insurance against being hurt.

    screw the fear of "being hurt" sitting around wondering "what if" is much worse.

    Oh, so you are saying that it's okay to snarf up an old boyfriend while he's involved with another woman? How very noble of you! Most of us are here because we fall prey to instant gratification too easily. Taking up with an 'ex' falls in that category to me, particularly if he has a GF. If her 'ex' wants her, he has some cleaning up to do before she should act on her impulses. So, it's not 'screw the fear of being hurt.' It's 'live with integrity, and good things happen to you.'

    uh....wow...I dont think I ever used the word or even had the thought of "snarf" anything. But hey....you go ahead and judge and whatever...but...huh...relax

    Yeah, well..what EXACTLY do you mean? Try some precision in your language. You read as 'Carpe diem' this evening to me.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    Yeah, well..what EXACTLY do you mean? Try some precision in your language. You read as 'Carpe diem' this evening to me.

    ya...that was you in another thread telling me to capitalize and what not...ok...

    precision? am I being obtuse? carpe diem is a good thing. life is short. if this op says she still loves him..then screw evcerything else..she should go make sure what is real...not play games with "what did his text reallty mean" and what not...life is short...follow your heart...not anything else
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
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    Yeah, well..what EXACTLY do you mean? Try some precision in your language. You read as 'Carpe diem' this evening to me.

    ya...that was you in another thread telling me to capitalize and what not...ok...

    precision? am I being obtuse? carpe diem is a good thing. life is short. if this op says she still loves him..then screw evcerything else..she should go make sure what is real...not play games with "what did his text reallty mean" and what not...life is short...follow your heart...not anything else

    In my estimation, CruiseKing has it just right. Now if the OP's 'ex' were free, and she wanted to give him a second chance, I'd say 'follow your heart' after you think it through.
  • michelefloyd
    michelefloyd Posts: 17
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    But he broke up with her, not the other way around. He shouldn't be texting her when he has a girlfriend, right? So going back to what I'm saying... he needs time (even if he wouldn't agree) to think over WHO he wants. If she jumps right back on the hook, he'll sit there and think he's got it made - two women.

    I say, oh no you don't!
    amen!!!
    you are wise beyond your years lol

    even tho i dont know how old you are lol


    I'm 35 and love giving advice. Getting back ex's has always been this weird special skill of mine. I married an elusive ex-flame (after dumping him and then very tenuously letting him back into my life), and have managed to keep the ole stallionfor almost five years now. ha ha Did I respond when he first tried to get me back?
    Hell no! He was the one who ran away from me!
    But the big guy never gave up pestering me and I count myself lucky even now that he didn't.

    My particular little fairy tale is besides the point, other than to highlight that on occasion, you can give a person a second chance and hit pay dirt. Unfortunately, I've never felt that way about anyone else. Most guys came back to me still incapable of being a lasting companion, so I am usually unwilling to let them walk right back into my life.

    :) your advice is greatly appreciated and what you did is exactly what i plan to do... if it even gets to that. right now im just TRYING TO push it out of my mind, focus on getting in shape and living my life... he has that girlfriend anyway and even WHEN he comes back (because he will because Im that awesome lol) i will not jump for joy.. he will however have to jump through hoops to get me again. I will definitly follow your lead, and when and/if the time comes, ill message you for more advice ok ?? lol

    Awww well, it's just my advice! I might be wrong. The fact that he has a girlfriend right now means alarm bells are going off. Next time you see him and he wants to know why you haven't replied, just explain that it's because he has a girlfriend and it's inappropriate. People might think my advice is about playing games. The whole point is men/women deserve to know where they stand and they ENJOY being with a person who has self respect and confidence. If you have someone who doesn't treat you right, help them know that. ha ha

    The only reason I took my boyfriend (now husband) back was because when he returned, he treated me like a princess consistently and faithfully, and still does. He is precious to me. People (not just men) might want their ex partner back because they miss them, not because they're ready to be who they need to be to maintain that relationship. It doesn't mean they're bad, it just means they still haven't learned.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    Yeah, well..what EXACTLY do you mean? Try some precision in your language. You read as 'Carpe diem' this evening to me.

    ya...that was you in another thread telling me to capitalize and what not...ok...

    precision? am I being obtuse? carpe diem is a good thing. life is short. if this op says she still loves him..then screw evcerything else..she should go make sure what is real...not play games with "what did his text reallty mean" and what not...life is short...follow your heart...not anything else

    In my estimation, CruiseKing has it just right. Now if the OP's 'ex' were free, and she wanted to give him a second chance, I'd say 'follow your heart' after you think it through.

    well...ok...we can agree to disagree (but I am right and you are wrong):wink:
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
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    [/quote]
    In my estimation, CruiseKing has it just right. Now if the OP's 'ex' were free, and she wanted to give him a second chance, I'd say 'follow your heart' after you think it through.
    [/quote]

    well...ok...we can agree to disagree (but I am right and you are wrong):wink:
    [/quote]

    Okay. But, just remember the key to success with women is this: Agree to everything she says. You have violated the prime directive, but I'll give you a free pass tonight because it's New Year's Eve. That said: Take a page from the book of CruiseKing.

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