Ugh. Online Dating

ANonnyMouse

Okay, so the "ugh" is because it is stressful, not because there's anything wrong with it. In fact I know many people who have been successfully and happily matched.

My question lies in the profile writing. Using Match there are a couple descriptors for body type. I always worry that I chose the "wrong one" and am being unintentionally deceptive about my size/body type. How would you describe/define the following for a woman:

-About average
-A few extra pounds
-Stocky
-Curvy
-Heavyset
-Big and beautiful
-Full figured

Any help/guidance would be greatly appreciated!

winslow44238

When I did that, I put down a few extra pounds. Reality was about 50-60, but I wear my added weight pretty well. Most people are there looking for who you are as a person, and if they are really looking for a fit and althletic person, they just screened themselves out of really great options.

Personally I had some bad experience with dating sites, but I also know people who had good ones. My husband met me as I was getting out and starting to sort out what I really like. We shared the common interest of motorcycles, then found out that we shared almost everything in common interest. I'd highly recommend getting out and trying some of those adventure groups too. If you want to try out hiking, or boating, or whatever is available in your area, you will be meeting others with your same interests. Even if it isn't Mr Right, it could be a bunch of great new friends.

teagin2002

it would depend on your body type, for me I would say curvy.
if you have a few extra pounds then don't be shy about it. There are plenty of men out there who appreciate a few extra pillow to lay with

christine24t

My profile says a few extra pounds. I'd rather be honest than not.

hiker282

What's funny is that all of those options could pretty much be defined the same way. Here's my thought process with each one

- About Average: WTH is average?
- A few Extra Pounds: Because of what I ate for dinner.
- Stocky: Short gymnast
- Curvy: Alright, but in what way? A ball could be called curvy.
- Heavyset: How I describe what I bench press.
- Big and Beautiful: Overweight and doesn't want to do anything about it or won't admit they need to lose weight.
- Curvy: pretty sure I did this one already
- Full figured: A completed math problem

I'd think a profile picture would say more about your body type than any of the above.

hiker282

Double Post: Sorry.

flimflamfloz

Is it not a case of "one picture tells more than a thousand words"?
Why not put a full picture of you, with some nice clothes that match your figure (without trying to hide absolutely your extra pounds).

Apart from that, your terms: Curvy is probably the nicest one IMHO (A few extra pounds: OK too, About average: dull but OK I guess, Big and beautiful: a bit cheesy but OK)

ANonnyMouse

I wrote "a few extra pounds" on mine, but I worry that I'm misrepresenting myself. I asked a guy friend what he thought and he thought "big and beautiful" but to me that reads larger than "a few extra pounds." I dunno, I'm clearly thinking about this WAY too much, but the look of disappointment when I finally meet people is really, really getting to me.

I play in a few volleyball leagues, hike, etc. but am having a very difficult time meeting new people. It's just a tough thing.

Oh, and I definitely wrote " curvy" twice. Oops.

HonkyTonks

-About average - healthy BMI/normal sized (not slim, just not overweight)
-A few extra pounds - slightly overweight - over the healthy weight range
-Stocky - bulky/muscular
-Curvy - big boobs, big butt, slim waist
-Heavyset - not sure
-Big and beautiful - large/obese
-Full figured - overweight not obese

cass89

I met my partner online. i was honest and put 'a few extra kilos' or whatever the options were at the time.

It was best of honest, or even over the top (so when they met you they're pleasently suprised that you're not as big they thought u were lol)

the funny thing with my partner and I was that when we started chatting he said 'no offence but i dont date "curvier girls'...i just want to be friends with you" didnt bother me lol i was like 'ah well your loss'. well he must have come around ey. although i do feel more consious of my size now because i know he doesn't like it, however i use it as motivation more than anything else.

krist3ng

Ahh! When I did online dating I said I was 'average' body type, because I was on the cusp of overweight according to BMI. Some of those descriptors have a lot more to do with mindset, I'd say!

Curvy is such a confident word, it just makes me think of cleavage spilling out and a little waist and being able to dance well. It seems to imply a sort of extreme voluptuousness (I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm voluptuous, but in a stocky, overweight sorta way) that I'd be uncomfortable advertising myself as. BUT the word 'curvy' is kind of liberating, unlike...

"A few extra pounds"- BY WHOSE RULES, BUDDY? this makes you look like you have low self-esteem!

I think you can tell instinctively which is most appropriate based on your body type. Or ask a close friend how they would describe you (and prepare to stab them if they choose the wrong one!)

Heavyset is negative, while full-figured is the more body-positive terminology. No matter what, try to go with something that doesn't make you come across as too neurotic and unhappy about your weight. People will respond best to confidence and happiness, no matter what size you are.

beautyreaps

* About average: What comes to mind would be someone who is around size 15, but I may just think that way from my studies, haha. I just picture this - http://newwomensfashion.info/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/15.jpg

* A few extra pounds: Someone who is around size 18-20 seems pretty fair here. Like this chick -http://www.judgmentofparis.com/cc/ms11b.jpg

* Stocky: Someone who is shorter than average (4' - 5'3), but is above size 20. I don't really feel many people fit this profile, because some women can be between those measurements and look like "a few extra pounds". I think this word is vague and harsh.

* Curvy: This option I figure gets many clicks, simply because it sounds attractive. I can't give any specific measurements, because some women just have weight in the right places. Curvy is an hour glass. Something like this - http://wunderbuzz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/hourglass3.jpg

* Heavyset: I'd imagine would be a women who's got any boob size above DD. I think everyone can figure that one out on their own, haha.

* Big and beautiful: Simply means you're proud of your weight. You know you're larger than average, but you like being that way. It's not bad, some men appreciate women who appreciate their forms. It's basically stating "Plus sized and proud". This women works - http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrspdaEPi11qhc3j9o1_400.jpg

* Full figured: Someone with weight in all the right places. Slightly larger than average, but not by that much. A women like this maybe - http://www.feelingusa.com/img/blog_plus1.jpg

nb4 anyone hounds me, this is simply what comes to mind when I hear those words. My interpretations are my own and I don't believe everyone thinks or feels the same way as I do. Any ways, I think you should be honest with yourself. Relationships are best built with honesty.

momtozmc

What's funny is that all of those options could pretty much be defined the same way. Here's my thought process with each one

- About Average: WTH is average?
- A few Extra Pounds: Because of what I ate for dinner.
- Stocky: Short gymnast
- Curvy: Alright, but in what way? A ball could be called curvy.
- Heavyset: How I describe what I bench press.
- Big and Beautiful: Overweight and doesn't want to do anything about it or won't admit they need to lose weight.
- Curvy: pretty sure I did this one already
- Full figured: A completed math problem

I'd think a profile picture would say more about your body type than any of the above.

THAT is funny!!!!

Effervescent17

this is how I would see it


-About average (you are your healthy BMI maybe 5 pounds over or under)
-A few extra pounds (You are overweight according to your BMI)
-Stocky (Short and overweight)
-Curvy (Healthy weight but you have hips and boobs basically think marilyn Monroe Betty Paige look)
-Heavyset (Heavy set is someone who is bigger on top but usually skinnier on bottom)
-Big and beautiful (Someone who is obese according to their BMI)
-Full figured (Someone who is overweight but carries their weight more like a curvy woman)

krist3ng

* Curvy: This option I figure gets many clicks, simply because it sounds attractive. I can't give any specific measurements, because some women just have weight in the right places. Curvy is an hour glass. Something like this - http://wunderbuzz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/hourglass3.jpg

* Full figured: Someone with weight in all the right places. Slightly larger than average, but not by that much. A women like this maybe - http://www.feelingusa.com/img/blog_plus1.jpg

HMM!! I think your 'scarlett johansson as curvy' picture is just a trick of photography (not saying she's not totally smokin', but she's not built like a 50s pinup!). She's sitting down, which by law of perspective makes her hips and derriere look wider.

Also, INTERESTING, I always thought of full-figured as being quite larger than the image you included! That's probably what I'd have included for curvy!!

cool to see different people's interpretations.

KimmieBrie

-About average = this is what I put when I was dating... I was about 118 pds at 5'2
-A few extra pounds - to me this is self explanatory
-Stocky - I think thick and short when I hear stocky...
-Curvy - women with curves, hippy, busty women
-Heavyset - overweight but not jiggly? idk that's what I see in my head
-Big and beautiful - self explanatory
-Full figured - I guess I'd think this was overweight but not really describing a body type because people use this term loosely

A picture is worth a thousand words.... A great picture - better yet - multiple pictures wins.

wellbert

When I used to do a little online dating, I pretty much expected that people picked two options below reality and was usually right.

I'm not sure I can answer this without potentially offending someone.

PS: Don't pick curvy. Even if you look like Betty Page.

Carl01

Put down what you honestly feel is accurate,one persons few extra pounds is just perfect to another.
Trying to define these terms so as everyone will see it the same way is really impossible.

Be yourself.:flowerforyou:

Qarol

It's been so many years since I met my husband online...I'm fairly certain I put full figured.

Sweet13_Princess

I wouldn't worry about choosing the "wrong one." Pick the one that YOU feel best describes you. You're the one writing the profile, after all. Besides, most people include a picture, so he/she can always look at that if weight is such a huge dating factor issue. If someone calls you out about "lying" about your weight, I doubt you'd want to date them anyways!:-P

Good luck with online dating! I tried Match, but didn't have much luck. I ended up meeting my husband on MySpace by searching for local people in my age group.

Shannon

rml_16

What's funny is that all of those options could pretty much be defined the same way. Here's my thought process with each one

- About Average: WTH is average?
- A few Extra Pounds: Because of what I ate for dinner.
- Stocky: Short gymnast
- Curvy: Alright, but in what way? A ball could be called curvy.
- Heavyset: How I describe what I bench press.
- Big and Beautiful: Overweight and doesn't want to do anything about it or won't admit they need to lose weight.
- Curvy: pretty sure I did this one already
- Full figured: A completed math problem

I'd think a profile picture would say more about your body type than any of the above.

I agree about the picture. To ME, "curvy" means an hourglass or pear shaped figure, regardless of weight. But a lot of people define themselves as curvy if they're overweight. Which is also full-figured, so aren't they the same to many people? And heavyset and "a few extra pounds" could fall into that same category. What a PITA.

I agree that you should choose what you feel best describes you and then rely on the photo to give men a better idea.

Sh1tsRainbows

What's funny is that all of those options could pretty much be defined the same way. Here's my thought process with each one

- About Average: WTH is average?
- A few Extra Pounds: Because of what I ate for dinner.
- Stocky: Short gymnast
- Curvy: Alright, but in what way? A ball could be called curvy.
- Heavyset: How I describe what I bench press.
- Big and Beautiful: Overweight and doesn't want to do anything about it or won't admit they need to lose weight.
- Curvy: pretty sure I did this one already
- Full figured: A completed math problem

I'd think a profile picture would say more about your body type than any of the above.

THIS!!! :drinker:

BrettPGH

When I used to do a little online dating, I pretty much expected that people picked two options below reality and was usually right.

I'm not sure I can answer this without potentially offending someone.

Well by all means allow me!

Ok we're talking online dating here. You gotta be prepared for a whole lot of resume padding, as it were.

About average - Around 50lbs overweight
A few extra pounds - 75-100lbs overweight
Stocky - A girl who could hurt you
Curvy - I don't care, I'm responding to this one everytime
Heavyset - Approaching morbidly obese
Big and beautiful - reserved for black women only
Full figured - At least 100lbs over or more


If you're mad you shouldn't be. What I'm saying is that people lie in online dating profiles. Shoot there are enough people on this very site using photoshopped pictures of themselves. Be VERY careful who you trust.

rml_16

* Curvy: This option I figure gets many clicks, simply because it sounds attractive. I can't give any specific measurements, because some women just have weight in the right places. Curvy is an hour glass. Something like this - http://wunderbuzz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/hourglass3.jpg

* Full figured: Someone with weight in all the right places. Slightly larger than average, but not by that much. A women like this maybe - http://www.feelingusa.com/img/blog_plus1.jpg

HMM!! I think your 'scarlett johansson as curvy' picture is just a trick of photography (not saying she's not totally smokin', but she's not built like a 50s pinup!). She's sitting down, which by law of perspective makes her hips and derriere look wider.

Also, INTERESTING, I always thought of full-figured as being quite larger than the image you included! That's probably what I'd have included for curvy!!

cool to see different people's interpretations.

I googled a bunch of Scarlett photos and she's definitely an hourglass.

KimmieBrie

If you're mad you shouldn't be. What I'm saying is that people lie in online dating profiles. Shoot there are enough people on this very site using photoshopped pictures of themselves. Be VERY careful who you trust.

This is why multiple CURRENT pictures should be used. This way no one is surprised/disappointed when they show up - in fact they'll probably be pleasantly surprised you're exactly what they pictured because your photos were current and real.

I don't get why people deceive on those sites - when your date shows up they will see the actual you - so why hide?????
Be yourself. That's who you want them to like isn't it? When I was single - anyone "posing" and misrepresenting who they actually were in any way guaranteed no future contact from me. Deceit leaves a very bad 1st impression.

billsica

"A strange game. The only winning move is not to play." - Joshua

KimmieBrie

I googled a bunch of Scarlett photos and she's definitely an hourglass.

I would agree - Scarlett is curvy

naku

* About average: What comes to mind would be someone who is around size 15, but I may just think that way from my studies, haha. I just picture this - http://newwomensfashion.info/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/15.jpg

* A few extra pounds: Someone who is around size 18-20 seems pretty fair here. Like this chick -http://www.judgmentofparis.com/cc/ms11b.jpg

* Stocky: Someone who is shorter than average (4' - 5'3), but is above size 20. I don't really feel many people fit this profile, because some women can be between those measurements and look like "a few extra pounds". I think this word is vague and harsh.

* Curvy: This option I figure gets many clicks, simply because it sounds attractive. I can't give any specific measurements, because some women just have weight in the right places. Curvy is an hour glass. Something like this - http://wunderbuzz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/hourglass3.jpg

* Heavyset: I'd imagine would be a women who's got any boob size above DD. I think everyone can figure that one out on their own, haha.

* Big and beautiful: Simply means you're proud of your weight. You know you're larger than average, but you like being that way. It's not bad, some men appreciate women who appreciate their forms. It's basically stating "Plus sized and proud". This women works - http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrspdaEPi11qhc3j9o1_400.jpg

* Full figured: Someone with weight in all the right places. Slightly larger than average, but not by that much. A women like this maybe - http://www.feelingusa.com/img/blog_plus1.jpg

nb4 anyone hounds me, this is simply what comes to mind when I hear those words. My interpretations are my own and I don't believe everyone thinks or feels the same way as I do. Any ways, I think you should be honest with yourself. Relationships are best built with honesty.

wow it's crazy how wrong people perceive body size... i mean, no doubt about all these women looking damn good but the 1st one (who you classify as being about average) clearly overweight. 2nd one (few extra pounds) is clearly obese.

like said, these women look good but lets get real about size here. this is one of the reasons why most of the population in developed countries is overweight.... denial!

KimmieBrie

* About average: What comes to mind would be someone who is around size 15, but I may just think that way from my studies, haha. I just picture this - http://newwomensfashion.info/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/15.jpg

* A few extra pounds: Someone who is around size 18-20 seems pretty fair here. Like this chick -http://www.judgmentofparis.com/cc/ms11b.jpg

* Stocky: Someone who is shorter than average (4' - 5'3), but is above size 20. I don't really feel many people fit this profile, because some women can be between those measurements and look like "a few extra pounds". I think this word is vague and harsh.

* Curvy: This option I figure gets many clicks, simply because it sounds attractive. I can't give any specific measurements, because some women just have weight in the right places. Curvy is an hour glass. Something like this - http://wunderbuzz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/hourglass3.jpg

* Heavyset: I'd imagine would be a women who's got any boob size above DD. I think everyone can figure that one out on their own, haha.

* Big and beautiful: Simply means you're proud of your weight. You know you're larger than average, but you like being that way. It's not bad, some men appreciate women who appreciate their forms. It's basically stating "Plus sized and proud". This women works - http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrspdaEPi11qhc3j9o1_400.jpg

* Full figured: Someone with weight in all the right places. Slightly larger than average, but not by that much. A women like this maybe - http://www.feelingusa.com/img/blog_plus1.jpg

nb4 anyone hounds me, this is simply what comes to mind when I hear those words. My interpretations are my own and I don't believe everyone thinks or feels the same way as I do. Any ways, I think you should be honest with yourself. Relationships are best built with honesty.

Are these US sizes? If so I disagree entirely. Average is not 15/16 and a few extra pounds is not 18/20 unless you are like a giant.

rml_16

* About average: What comes to mind would be someone who is around size 15, but I may just think that way from my studies, haha. I just picture this - http://newwomensfashion.info/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/15.jpg

* A few extra pounds: Someone who is around size 18-20 seems pretty fair here. Like this chick -http://www.judgmentofparis.com/cc/ms11b.jpg

* Stocky: Someone who is shorter than average (4' - 5'3), but is above size 20. I don't really feel many people fit this profile, because some women can be between those measurements and look like "a few extra pounds". I think this word is vague and harsh.

* Curvy: This option I figure gets many clicks, simply because it sounds attractive. I can't give any specific measurements, because some women just have weight in the right places. Curvy is an hour glass. Something like this - http://wunderbuzz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/hourglass3.jpg

* Heavyset: I'd imagine would be a women who's got any boob size above DD. I think everyone can figure that one out on their own, haha.

* Big and beautiful: Simply means you're proud of your weight. You know you're larger than average, but you like being that way. It's not bad, some men appreciate women who appreciate their forms. It's basically stating "Plus sized and proud". This women works - http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrspdaEPi11qhc3j9o1_400.jpg

* Full figured: Someone with weight in all the right places. Slightly larger than average, but not by that much. A women like this maybe - http://www.feelingusa.com/img/blog_plus1.jpg

nb4 anyone hounds me, this is simply what comes to mind when I hear those words. My interpretations are my own and I don't believe everyone thinks or feels the same way as I do. Any ways, I think you should be honest with yourself. Relationships are best built with honesty.

Are these US sizes? If so I disagree entirely. Average is not 15/16 and a few extra pounds is not 18/20 unless you are like a giant.

If those ARE US sizes, those photos are totally incorrect. No way those women are those sizes. If they're UK sizes, they might be right on.

yoshi91610

I think when I had used that I said "a few extra pounds" but I also had four or five pictures on there so there shouldn't have been any confusion. I met only two people on there, one was ok as just a friend although we had a lot in common, and the other is the first person I ever fell in love with, we dated for a year before we decided to end things.