Written Word's

BxMom

I wanted to start this thread because lately I have noticed a growing trend throughout the threads. I have been a member of MFP since August 2008 even though my date doesn't reflect that (problems with old account - started a new one).

I believe we all need to remember that just because we can't see each other shouldn’t give us the right to be rude, inconsiderate and/or uncompassionate with one another. Making a harsh or realistic statement can sometimes I’m sure is acceptable with us all because we need to hear the truth. What I’m referring to is the rudeness and meanness I have noticed. We live in a society that singles us out due to our weight, race, belief, and sexual orientation. We shouldn’t have to deal with that sort of mentality on this site. We all come here for support, advice, to vent, to learn and make new friends. We all want to voice our opinions and comments when a topic matters to use and our passions sometimes get the better of us, I know. I constantly have to stop and think how this comment will come across to others.

The anonymous freedom here sometimes leads us to say things we wouldn’t normally say in person. Yes, you have a right to your opinions and comments no matter what they are. Our ability to grow through others is amazing but on that same note our ability to digress because of others is immeasurable.

The freedom to say what you’re feeling at that precise moment is awesome but all I ask of my fellow MFP friends & members is to stop and think before you post. If you are responding to someone directly talk to them as you would want them to talk to you.

Always remember that words, whether written or spoke hurt a lot more and for much longer than if you actually struck the person.

Thanks for listening

BxMom

I wanted to start this thread because lately I have noticed a growing trend throughout the threads. I have been a member of MFP since August 2008 even though my date doesn't reflect that (problems with old account - started a new one).

I believe we all need to remember that just because we can't see each other shouldn’t give us the right to be rude, inconsiderate and/or uncompassionate with one another. Making a harsh or realistic statement can sometimes I’m sure is acceptable with us all because we need to hear the truth. What I’m referring to is the rudeness and meanness I have noticed. We live in a society that singles us out due to our weight, race, belief, and sexual orientation. We shouldn’t have to deal with that sort of mentality on this site. We all come here for support, advice, to vent, to learn and make new friends. We all want to voice our opinions and comments when a topic matters to use and our passions sometimes get the better of us, I know. I constantly have to stop and think how this comment will come across to others.

The anonymous freedom here sometimes leads us to say things we wouldn’t normally say in person. Yes, you have a right to your opinions and comments no matter what they are. Our ability to grow through others is amazing but on that same note our ability to digress because of others is immeasurable.

The freedom to say what you’re feeling at that precise moment is awesome but all I ask of my fellow MFP friends & members is to stop and think before you post. If you are responding to someone directly talk to them as you would want them to talk to you.

Always remember that words, whether written or spoke hurt a lot more and for much longer than if you actually struck the person.

Thanks for listening

Losing_It

:flowerforyou:

jennib06

You nailed it on the head! Thank you for posting this! I agree completely!

artschoolgirl

SOOOO Glad this was finally said!! THANK YOU!! I've been stunned lately about some of the postings!!!

Thanks for starting conversation!

arewethereyet

:flowerforyou: Before all else, be kind.

tami1024

Ditto!! I could'nt have said it better myself!! We are all here for a reason. Be kind to all.

Heather125

:flowerforyou:

angelinaz

I agree! I read a reply today that was meant to help yet the person who posted snapped back at that person saying they didn't ask for advice! Ouch! So glad you had the courage to say this! Thanks.

BxMom

Thank you all, I hope many more people read this

ChubbyBunny

I agree.
It's been....rough going into posts these days.
I try to stick to the recipe section.

:flowerforyou:

BxMom

I just don't understand why people are so mean to one another here.

My belief is that there are many on here just to be here. They have no interest in losing weight, leading healthier lives or being supported of others. They are the hecklers we pass on the streets that have found a new outlet, how sad.

BxMom

Bumped for the new day

stillkristi

Thanks for starting this! I would hope we can disagree, which is at times going to happen without being rude or mean spirited. That would be the adult way to disagree.....
I have not personally been the victim of any mean spirited bashing, but I have been made aware of some things that have been said to others, which frankly shocked and angered me. I would hope that each time ANYONE sees anything like that, they would report the post. If that doesn't help, then I believe we need to go to Mike and request that something be done.

BxMom

AMEN to that

Fitness_Chick

Thanks BxMom for posting this thread. :flowerforyou: I often don't understand myself, why some are here, a large number of them don't share on fitness and health but seem to only want to use it as a playground and to undermine & cut others down.

It makes no sense to me either as there are thousands upon thousands of other places on the web to do that very thing.

I so wish it didn't have to happen here as well.:brokenheart:

FC

BxMom

Thanks BxMom for posting this thread. :flowerforyou: I often don't understand myself, why some are here, a large number of them don't share on fitness and health but seem to only want to use it as a playground and to undermine & cut others down.

It makes no sense to me either as there are thousands upon thousands of other places on the web to do that very thing.

I so wish it didn't have to happen here as well.:brokenheart:

FC

It's a shame but I think making people aware that words still hurt may help. In this busy world where no one has time for anything people forget to be nice because they are so busy trying to get to there next destination.

Example: My car broke down on Monday morning, I live in CT, and while sitting on the side of road, freezing with no cell service over 50 cars passed me by without a second glance. I sat for 30 minutes before someone stop and asked me if I needed help. What makes me wonder is how many of those drivers thoght to themselves as they passed me by I would stop but I'm running late!

What a world we live in now.

P.S. You have been my hero since last year. Congrats on your sucess

Fitness_Chick

Thanks BxMom for posting this thread. :flowerforyou: I often don't understand myself, why some are here, a large number of them don't share on fitness and health but seem to only want to use it as a playground and to undermine & cut others down.

It makes no sense to me either as there are thousands upon thousands of other places on the web to do that very thing.

I so wish it didn't have to happen here as well.:brokenheart:

FC

It's a shame but I think making people aware that words still hurt may help. In this busy world where no one has time for anything people forget to be nice because they are so busy trying to get to there next destination.

Example: My car broke down on Monday morning, I live in CT, and while sitting on the side of road, freezing with no cell service over 50 cars passed me by without a second glance. I sat for 30 minutes before someone stop and asked me if I needed help. What makes me wonder is how many of those drivers thoght to themselves as they passed me by I would stop but I'm running late!

What a world we live in now.

P.S. You have been my hero since last year. Congrats on your sucess

awww thank you!:flowerforyou:

Hm, was thinking about what you shared about how others drove on by with most likely the thoughts of 'oh can't stop, gonna be late'....... late for what? Sometimes we can all forget that this IS LIFE we're living, each moment is our life! I know I can let time slip away and then run out of it another time and wonder why I am behind....you got me thinking on the value of each moment we have NOW!

Thanks again for posting:drinker: btw..I am glad someone finally stopped to help!

FC

TrailRunner

I'm new here and I haven't noticed anything rude yet. Everyone has been very helpful and informative.

I hope I never inadvertantly offend someone and if I do please let me know.

thank-you!

TrailRunner

[/quote]
value of each moment we have NOW!
[/quote]

Eckart Tole. Beautiful writer of several beautiful books. Truly inspirational.

Losing_It

Thanks BxMom for posting this thread. :flowerforyou: I often don't understand myself, why some are here, a large number of them don't share on fitness and health but seem to only want to use it as a playground and to undermine & cut others down.

It makes no sense to me either as there are thousands upon thousands of other places on the web to do that very thing.

I so wish it didn't have to happen here as well.:brokenheart:

FC

I have read a few (rude) comments on here from time to time BUT I think it's a very unfair statement to say that a large number of people here don't contribute anything on fitness & health..that they are just here for fun. I talk to a lot of the "fun" people in PM's and they contribute a lot of knowledge about fitness...health...this journey!!! Just because they don't always share things on the boards, doesn't mean they don't belong here. Everyone is here for their OWN reasons...and we have no right to say who belongs & who doesn't. Just my two cents...

arewethereyet

Thanks BxMom for posting this thread. :flowerforyou: I often don't understand myself, why some are here, a large number of them don't share on fitness and health but seem to only want to use it as a playground and to undermine & cut others down.

It makes no sense to me either as there are thousands upon thousands of other places on the web to do that very thing.

I so wish it didn't have to happen here as well.:brokenheart:

FC

I have read a few (rude) comments on here from time to time BUT I think it's a very unfair statement to say that a large number of people here don't contribute anything on fitness & health..that they are just here for fun. I talk to a lot of the "fun" people in PM's and they contribute a lot of knowledge about fitness...health...this journey!!! Just because they don't always share things on the boards, doesn't mean they don't belong here. Everyone is here for their OWN reasons...and we have no right to say who belongs & who doesn't. Just my two cents...

Hey Becky I found this for ya!!

I agree. Fun is just as important as information at times. If I can reduce stress with a few laughs, instead of a big mac, I am going to lose weight!!

AND I think laughing burns calories:laugh: :laugh:

Losing_It

Thanks BxMom for posting this thread. :flowerforyou: I often don't understand myself, why some are here, a large number of them don't share on fitness and health but seem to only want to use it as a playground and to undermine & cut others down.

It makes no sense to me either as there are thousands upon thousands of other places on the web to do that very thing.

I so wish it didn't have to happen here as well.:brokenheart:

FC

I have read a few (rude) comments on here from time to time BUT I think it's a very unfair statement to say that a large number of people here don't contribute anything on fitness & health..that they are just here for fun. I talk to a lot of the "fun" people in PM's and they contribute a lot of knowledge about fitness...health...this journey!!! Just because they don't always share things on the boards, doesn't mean they don't belong here. Everyone is here for their OWN reasons...and we have no right to say who belongs & who doesn't. Just my two cents...

Hey Becky I found this for ya!!

I agree. Fun is just as important as information at times. If I can reduce stress with a few laughs, instead of a big mac, I am going to lose weight!!

AND I think laughing burns calories:laugh: :laugh:

I love the 2 cents!! Thanks!:laugh:

Anna_Banana

I agree that some people don't "contribute" by making great informative threads, but they are probably on here to lose weight and get ideas. And through MFP they have made friends that they like to joke around with. For some these are the only friends they have. That's why we have the Chit Chat Board. For people to screw around and have fun.

There are days I get on here and just mess around, post jokes and log my calories, and there are other days that I post helpful stuff.

I think people on here need to learn not to take stuff so personally. And if you ask a question that you already know the answer to, but just hoping somebody will tell you its okay to do something else expect somebody to comment.

For example, the other day some lady posted that she is only eating 700 calories a day and is still hungry. Then was mad when people told her to eat more. Or when some body asks about exercise calories and we tell them to eat them, and they get mad because they don't want to eat them. In both cases the girls got offended that we told them to do something else. We (meaning me and a bunch of others) weren't trying to be rude, just trying to point them in the right direction, but both were mad, 'cause they wanted to be told what they were doing was just wonderful, when it wasn't. But I have seen other cases where people were just being rude.

Good thread.

Losing_It

EXACTLY, Anna!!! :flowerforyou:

TrailRunner

I think it's a matter of not understanding how it works.

Yesterday after many many attemps of trying to count calories I finally got it. Hook line and sinker.

The biggest looser talks all the time about eating. You have to eat.

Even so, not quite understanding it didn't click till yesterday seeing the formula that the wonderful MFP provides did I get it.

I never understood that if I exercised I had to replace those that I burned. I can't tell what a lightbulb moment that has was. I think that's the biggest misunderstanding out there.

For me with all the research I've done over the years it was seeing the formula. Definitly. And the 3 lbs I've lost confirming that it works.

Whew what a relief.

Losing_It

I'm glad you understand better, Twee! Congrats on the 3lbs loss!:flowerforyou:

allaboutme

personally I hate to be yelled at, and never want others to think I am being rude, sarcastic or ignorant to them. I have also found myself backing away from the message boards, because sometimes you are just trying to be helpful, they asked a question, you hope you can help them with your answer and the responses you get from people make you feel like not only is your opinion completely irrelevant, but wrong to the point of being an idiot. Maybe I am just too sensitive, but I never really considered myself an overly sensitive type. On those days, I swear off the board all together and wish that I could block it. I eventually get my courage back, make some suggestions until the next time.

I look at it this way, I treat others how I want to be treated, with respect. I love to learn new stuff, new ways, new ideas, and even debate items if it is called for. But always with respect and consideration.

I agree this post was necessary.

ChubbyBunny

I have also found myself backing away from the message boards, because sometimes you are just trying to be helpful, they asked a question, you hope you can help them with your answer and the responses you get from people make you feel like not only is your opinion completely irrelevant, but wrong to the point of being an idiot. Maybe I am just too sensitive, but I never really considered myself an overly sensitive type. On those days, I swear off the board all together and wish that I could block it. I eventually get my courage back, make some suggestions until the next time.

OHOH! I would LOVE a block button some days!
I am not really a sensitive person and people enjoy my thick skin....but sometimes... I want to mail Mike and tell him to put on a block board/poster button not just for my sanity but others safety. It's been hard to learn how to hold my tongue.... :huh:

Fitness_Chick

I have also found myself backing away from the message boards, because sometimes you are just trying to be helpful, they asked a question, you hope you can help them with your answer and the responses you get from people make you feel like not only is your opinion completely irrelevant, but wrong to the point of being an idiot. Maybe I am just too sensitive, but I never really considered myself an overly sensitive type. On those days, I swear off the board all together and wish that I could block it. I eventually get my courage back, make some suggestions until the next time.

OHOH! I would LOVE a block button some days!
I am not really a sensitive person and people enjoy my thick skin....but sometimes... I want to mail Mike and tell him to put on a block board/poster button not just for my sanity but others safety. It's been hard to learn how to hold my tongue.... :huh:

A block feature is something I too have often wondered about with all the rudeness and insenitiviey going on more now than I've ever seen before... a block member feature or some type of block would be a brilliant helpful idea and perhaps one that would help folks WANT to stay on MFP and use the boards.

Also I wish my block feature worked on PM's:sad: Those are some nasty folks deciding to PM me and I have nothing to do to stop it. Unless they are mean on the subject line I receive many from new folks too so I defintiely don't want to delete them in case they might happen to NOT be cruel ones.

Thank you for bringing up the block idea both of you!! Eons back on while on aol a block feature saved so many of us...:ohwell:

BxMom

Wow, I never expected so many awesome comments to be posted. I actually believe only a few would read it and then my thread would disappear. It was a vent day for me.

I do want to clarify one thing I love, absolute love the chit chat threads those are great. Those are meant for use to unwind from a bad day, joke around with our MFP friends, post funny article, vent and play games. That is a necessary area to mental sanity when your changing your lifestyle that involves food. We have to poke fun at ourselves sometimes.

Not everone is mean but sometimes, we have to point out that meaness isn't necessary or needed here.

Thanks again :flowerforyou: