Written Word's

ChubbyBunny

Also I wish my block feature worked on PM's:sad: Those are some nasty folks deciding to PM me and I have nothing to do to stop it. Unless they are mean on the subject line I receive many from new folks too so I defintiely don't want to delete them in case they might happen to NOT be cruel ones.

Thank you for bringing up the block idea both of you!! Eons back on while on aol a block feature saved so many of us...:ohwell:

People PM you and are mean?
Do I need to bust some heads?
I think you try really hard to keep things civil.

Fitness_Chick

Also I wish my block feature worked on PM's:sad: Those are some nasty folks deciding to PM me and I have nothing to do to stop it. Unless they are mean on the subject line I receive many from new folks too so I defintiely don't want to delete them in case they might happen to NOT be cruel ones.

Thank you for bringing up the block idea both of you!! Eons back on while on aol a block feature saved so many of us...:ohwell:

People PM you and are mean?
Do I need to bust some heads?
I think you try really hard to keep things civil.

Wow, thanks Bunny you have no clue how much I needed to hear the kind words today! I don't know how to report it so I simply don't and keep it inside for the most part but I would LOVE for my block feature to work and also a block feature on the regular boards to block folks that seem to want to start trouble with their every post, I don't understand that mentality, I truly don't.

I love MFP and I don't want any new folks to ever feel this isn't one of the best places to be...because it IS! But I am so close to closing out my account it's not even funny anymore. I came here to be good to myself and I find now after feeling I've been accepted that there are now some folks that simply can't leave things be and keep their rudeness to themselves. I do try to be civil and kind because that is the way I am in RT but well, just some days ya know like folks just push ya over the top?

BxMom

FC you are one of the more positive and inspirational members on here. It's a @*$(* shame that peole are mean and cruel.

I say there times when we shouldn't hold back and tell these (*&%^&%$% exactly what's on our minds.

See that's why I posted that thread.

I'm with ChubbyBunny on busting heads. We need motivators on this site and finding out that they are getting harrassed that just @#!%^ my $%^$%:explode: :mad:

ChubbyBunny

Also I wish my block feature worked on PM's:sad: Those are some nasty folks deciding to PM me and I have nothing to do to stop it. Unless they are mean on the subject line I receive many from new folks too so I defintiely don't want to delete them in case they might happen to NOT be cruel ones.

Thank you for bringing up the block idea both of you!! Eons back on while on aol a block feature saved so many of us...:ohwell:

People PM you and are mean?
Do I need to bust some heads?
I think you try really hard to keep things civil.

Wow, thanks Bunny you have no clue how much I needed to hear the kind words today! I don't know how to report it so I simply don't and keep it inside for the most part but I would LOVE for my block feature to work and also a block feature on the regular boards to block folks that seem to want to start trouble with their every post, I don't understand that mentality, I truly don't.

I love MFP and I don't want any new folks to ever feel this isn't one of the best places to be...because it IS! But I am so close to closing out my account it's not even funny anymore. I came here to be good to myself and I find now after feeling I've been accepted that there are now some folks that simply can't leave things be and keep their rudeness to themselves. I do try to be civil and kind because that is the way I am in RT but well, just some days ya know like folks just push ya over the top?

I think you copy and paste it to Mike.
When I've had issues with some things that's what I did.
That way he is aware of it.

Nich0le

Well, I would hope that no one has ever considered me rude, even though I usually respond by giving my strong opinion on some posts, but never meant to offend.

That said, everyone has a point, we are all here for help in our own way, whether it be a little chit chat or looking for advice on one of the many community boards and I know sometimes there is some chatter going back and forth that gets ugly. I think everyone needs to remember we are all allowed to speak our opinion on any given topic that is posted. If you don't want advice then don't post. If you don't like what someone writes back we all need to be mature enough to agree to disagree on some issues.

Everyone here is at a different point in their "journey". Some are just starting and may ask questions we have seen a million times, some are maintaining and have wisdom to throw our way but we are all here for the same reason, not to mention voluntarily which means we don't have to take everything that comes our way like the other person was striking back at you personally.

Anyway, everyone needs to remember that everyone is hopefully trying to help each other and those that aren't here to help usually don't last long before we feed them to the wolves :laugh:

BxMom

AMEN :drinker:

Fitness_Chick

:flowerforyou:

allaboutme

I have also found myself backing away from the message boards, because sometimes you are just trying to be helpful, they asked a question, you hope you can help them with your answer and the responses you get from people make you feel like not only is your opinion completely irrelevant, but wrong to the point of being an idiot. Maybe I am just too sensitive, but I never really considered myself an overly sensitive type. On those days, I swear off the board all together and wish that I could block it. I eventually get my courage back, make some suggestions until the next time.

OHOH! I would LOVE a block button some days!
I am not really a sensitive person and people enjoy my thick skin....but sometimes... I want to mail Mike and tell him to put on a block board/poster button not just for my sanity but others safety. It's been hard to learn how to hold my tongue.... :huh:

A block feature is something I too have often wondered about with all the rudeness and insenitiviey going on more now than I've ever seen before... a block member feature or some type of block would be a brilliant helpful idea and perhaps one that would help folks WANT to stay on MFP and use the boards.

Also I wish my block feature worked on PM's:sad: Those are some nasty folks deciding to PM me and I have nothing to do to stop it. Unless they are mean on the subject line I receive many from new folks too so I defintiely don't want to delete them in case they might happen to NOT be cruel ones.

Thank you for bringing up the block idea both of you!! Eons back on while on aol a block feature saved so many of us...:ohwell:

It absolutely blows me away that people have the audacity to do this to you. To go to the effort of actually sending you messages shows their lack of intelligence and character. Obviously they are jealous that they have never been able to commit to anything themselves and cannot stand to see someone else succeed. I am amazed by your progress and your constant upbeat attitude and willingness to share your information with others. Keep up the great work, those who count on here think you are doing an amazing job. :drinker: (and it's beer in my glass not a protien shake :laugh: )

Fitness_Chick

I have also found myself backing away from the message boards, because sometimes you are just trying to be helpful, they asked a question, you hope you can help them with your answer and the responses you get from people make you feel like not only is your opinion completely irrelevant, but wrong to the point of being an idiot. Maybe I am just too sensitive, but I never really considered myself an overly sensitive type. On those days, I swear off the board all together and wish that I could block it. I eventually get my courage back, make some suggestions until the next time.

OHOH! I would LOVE a block button some days!
I am not really a sensitive person and people enjoy my thick skin....but sometimes... I want to mail Mike and tell him to put on a block board/poster button not just for my sanity but others safety. It's been hard to learn how to hold my tongue.... :huh:

A block feature is something I too have often wondered about with all the rudeness and insenitiviey going on more now than I've ever seen before... a block member feature or some type of block would be a brilliant helpful idea and perhaps one that would help folks WANT to stay on MFP and use the boards.

Also I wish my block feature worked on PM's:sad: Those are some nasty folks deciding to PM me and I have nothing to do to stop it. Unless they are mean on the subject line I receive many from new folks too so I defintiely don't want to delete them in case they might happen to NOT be cruel ones.

Thank you for bringing up the block idea both of you!! Eons back on while on aol a block feature saved so many of us...:ohwell:

It absolutely blows me away that people have the audacity to do this to you. To go to the effort of actually sending you messages shows their lack of intelligence and character. Obviously they are jealous that they have never been able to commit to anything themselves and cannot stand to see someone else succeed. I am amazed by your progress and your constant upbeat attitude and willingness to share your information with others. Keep up the great work, those who count on here think you are doing an amazing job. :drinker: (and it's beer in my glass not a protien shake :laugh: )

:drinker: What a lovely heart you have!:flowerforyou:

Fitness_Chick

:brokenheart: this is always something that deserves a bump every time someone comes upon it...perhaps one day it will make a difference in someones life.....we can hope:flowerforyou:

ChubbyBunny

I needed to see this again...
It's so sad but it seems like every day I see something posted that is harsher then it needs to be.
There is a difference between being honest/direct and being mean/rude.
I am a pretty tolerant person but even I have been pushed to my edge the last few days, to the point of actually looking for a new site.

Jelybe

Aaaaah! YAY! I'm so glad that you started this thread! I was debating starting one like this myself but was concerned that it would have the opposite affect of what I was going for - but this is a positive thread and that's great!

I love MFP and the people are so great, and I LIVE for the successes thread! And I don't think that most of the ill-worded comments as of late are intentional, BUT...

My two cents (not that anyone asked for it but I am just going to feel so much better saying it in hopes that it clicks with anyone...) is that being a "direct", "calling a spade a spade", "tough love" type of person, of which I think I am myself, definitely can be admirable and definitely has it's place.

NOW - I reserve this type of treatment for my closest friends. Not all of them. The ones who can take it and who actually prefer that I be direct with them which allows them to be direct with me and we have therefore a very close friendship. I would never be so brazen to roll everyone over with my directness at say, a cocktail party. And in some ways - this forum is most like a cocktail party. Mostly strangers with common goals who were invited in to Mike's house to share/vent/succeed/and support among other things. Too often people take advantage of the "facelessness" factor of this forum and forget that even though you may have many great aspects about your personality, it does not ever excuse bad manners. If I had to choose between having bad grammar or bad manners? I would choose bad grammar. If I had to choose between bad hair or bad manners? I would choose bad hair. Etc. There is nothing less attractive than bad manners.

To end this rant... when someone says that they "mean no offense", they are about to say something offensive. When someone says I don't mean to "step on your toes", they are about to step on your toes. Etc... For those of us who say, we are pretty direct (myself included), let's not use that as an excuse to use bad manners.

Again, I don't think it is really intentional most of the time, and that people here really do have the very best of intentions, which is why I am here! But I do think we need to be very aware of our posts and how they are perceived. Would you say that to a complete stranger at a cocktail party? And if so, would they want to hear it?

Okay - thanks for letting me get that off my chest!

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

ChubbyBunny

Ohhhh you sooooo get my frustration!
Most of the "direct" comments aren't even aimed at me cause like you I can be very direct with people.
However, I do try to resist that on these boards for the same reasons you stated. People here don't KNOW me so what I think is being honest/direct someone else is taking as insulting and rude.
So, I keep a lot of advice/ideas to myself.... cause even when I am "nice"... I get a lot of that, "No, you're wrong..." attitude off people (not everyone of course). In my opinion....unless you are in a health profession (specific to nutrition, exercise, psychology,etc), I may not be any more wrong then the next guy/gal.

I do love it here, and a lot of the people...even the ones I am not friends with or talk to much.
There just seems to have been an increase of "nasti-ness" (not particular thread or person per say) and it would be GREAT to remember that we don't all know each other.... we don't all GET each other. So, be kind with what and HOW you say things. Cause, heck.... I am practically as tough skinned as a rhino but that doesn't mean I like sitting back and watch people tear into each other (ideas/advice/opinions/etc)

Am I just off my rocker? It's been some emotionally draining and drawn out days recently....:laugh:

Jelybe

Ohhhh you sooooo get my frustration!
Most of the "direct" comments aren't even aimed at me cause like you I can be very direct with people.
However, I do try to resist that on these boards for the same reasons you stated. People here don't KNOW me so what I think is being honest/direct someone else is taking as insulting and rude.
So, I keep a lot of advice/ideas to myself.... cause even when I am "nice"... I get a lot of that, "No, you're wrong..." attitude off people (not everyone of course). In my opinion....unless you are in a health profession (specific to nutrition, exercise, psychology,etc), I may not be any more wrong then the next guy/gal.

I do love it here, and a lot of the people...even the ones I am not friends with or talk to much.
There just seems to have been an increase of "nasti-ness" (not particular thread or person per say) and it would be GREAT to remember that we don't all know each other.... we don't all GET each other. So, be kind with what and HOW you say things. Cause, heck.... I am practically as tough skinned as a rhino but that doesn't mean I like sitting back and watch people tear into each other (ideas/advice/opinions/etc)

Am I just off my rocker? It's been some emotionally draining and drawn out days recently....:laugh:

:flowerforyou:

TrailRunner

The orchestra in my head may not be music to your ears,

If so I apologize and please feel free to change the dial. lol.

isadoraworkman

Um...I don't think anyone has ever pm'd me...how odd that someone would take some time out to message an insult to someone...that is bad.
(or is it bad that no one pm's me..haha)
Good topic. I am sad that folks feel offended on the boards and that others knowingly offend.
If I have ever said anything to offend, please accept my apology. Sometimes things can get misinterpreted or misunderstood. I wish everyone well on their journey toward weight loss.
Cheers,
A.

ivykivy

I do agree with you 100%. I am a direct person but that does not give me license to be "direct" to any and everyone especially when I know others are sensitive and may take it the wrong way. IMO to knowingly post on someone's thread when you know they are sensitive about their issue just to interject your point of view is taunting not supportive. I have learned as I advance in years and from those who are wiser, sometimes it is best to just keep your thoughts to yourself.

Losing weight is battle for some and we should not do anything to cause them to want to stop fight.

Aaaaah! YAY! I'm so glad that you started this thread! I was debating starting one like this myself but was concerned that it would have the opposite affect of what I was going for - but this is a positive thread and that's great!

I love MFP and the people are so great, and I LIVE for the successes thread! And I don't think that most of the ill-worded comments as of late are intentional, BUT...

My two cents (not that anyone asked for it but I am just going to feel so much better saying it in hopes that it clicks with anyone...) is that being a "direct", "calling a spade a spade", "tough love" type of person, of which I think I am myself, definitely can be admirable and definitely has it's place.

NOW - I reserve this type of treatment for my closest friends. Not all of them. The ones who can take it and who actually prefer that I be direct with them which allows them to be direct with me and we have therefore a very close friendship. I would never be so brazen to roll everyone over with my directness at say, a cocktail party. And in some ways - this forum is most like a cocktail party. Mostly strangers with common goals who were invited in to Mike's house to share/vent/succeed/and support among other things. Too often people take advantage of the "facelessness" factor of this forum and forget that even though you may have many great aspects about your personality, it does not ever excuse bad manners. If I had to choose between having bad grammar or bad manners? I would choose bad grammar. If I had to choose between bad hair or bad manners? I would choose bad hair. Etc. There is nothing less attractive than bad manners.

To end this rant... when someone says that they "mean no offense", they are about to say something offensive. When someone says I don't mean to "step on your toes", they are about to step on your toes. Etc... For those of us who say, we are pretty direct (myself included), let's not use that as an excuse to use bad manners.

Again, I don't think it is really intentional most of the time, and that people here really do have the very best of intentions, which is why I am here! But I do think we need to be very aware of our posts and how they are perceived. Would you say that to a complete stranger at a cocktail party? And if so, would they want to hear it?

Okay - thanks for letting me get that off my chest!

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

BxMom

Wow I have fellow soul mates.

I am always being told that I'm too direct, blunt, harsh, etc., because I speak mind and sometimes without those ever-so-important "fliters" on.

This is why I started the tread. Sometimes we all need to be reminded that our words can unintentionally hurt others.