Do you comment on other people's weight?

fteale

I seem to be the only person who finds it incredibly rude to comment on another person's weight. Most people don't go up to people and say "you're fat", so why is it ok to say "you've lost so much weight."? Surely that's just saying "You were fat before, but I didn't like to comment."

I wouldn't ever like to comment on anyone's weight unless they brought the subject up themselves and were inviting opinions.

How do you feel when people talk about your weight?

ElizabethRoad

Most people don't talk about it except the people I've mentioned it to. I had one co-worker mention it because she wanted to know how I lost it, so she could do the same.

Debo83

I don't mind at all! I don't think most people mean anything negative by it and are in fact trying to give a compliment or notice and validate all the hard work you've done. I'd rather people tell me how great I look now than to not hear anything about it at all.

Contrarian

I would only comment if they brought it up. Having said that, when people notice I have lost weight and are being complimentary about it, it pleases me.

cramernh

One of the nicest people I work with, a kind gentleman (we work together as Chefs) who always sings to the women at work, pulled me aside one on one, and asked: "I know this is gonna be weird, but I just have to say, you REALLY are looking great - what are you doing?"

I was SOOOOOO FLATTERED!!!! I choked up, gave that man a hug that couldve taken the air out of him right there! I said to him "OH MY GAWD, thank you so much, I feel like a million bucks!!!!!!!" So I shared with him about my doctor's recommendations and that they are working wonderfully... and told him how much weight Ive dropped so far... his eyes WIDENED and then a big smile joined with them...

He said 'I was so nervous to say something because I know weight is a sensitive thing for women, but, I just had to say something because I can definitely tell!"...

I hugged him again and said "I love you, man!"

He said he was inspired by my weight loss and wants to talk with his doctor about his weight and whether or not the method I have to follow would be good for him.. he said he wants to lose a good 75lbs so it will be easier to walk for him (he has one leg that is bowing outwards, the poor guy)...

I really think it depends on the person saying it, and the person receiving the comment... The fact this guy noticed and had the cajones to tell me he noticed made me feel so good! Because, he is right!!! Not all women can take the compliment the right way... but he was comfortable working with me and joking around (really dirty jokes mind you!) enough to know he could say it..

fteale

One of the nicest people I work with, a kind gentleman (we work together as Chefs) who always sings to the women at work, pulled me aside one on one, and asked: "I know this is gonna be weird, but I just have to say, you REALLY are looking great - what are you doing?"

I was SOOOOOO FLATTERED!!!! I choked up, gave that man a hug that couldve taken the air out of him right there! I said to him "OH MY GAWD, thank you so much, I feel like a million bucks!!!!!!!" So I shared with him about my doctor's recommendations and that they are working wonderfully... and told him how much weight Ive dropped so far... his eyes WIDENED and then a big smile joined with them...

He said 'I was so nervous to say something because I know weight is a sensitive thing for women, but, I just had to say something because I can definitely tell!"...

I hugged him again and said "I love you, man!"

He said he was inspired by my weight loss and wants to talk with his doctor about his weight and whether or not the method I have to follow would be good for him.. he said he wants to lose a good 75lbs so it will be easier to walk for him (he has one leg that is bowing outwards, the poor guy)...

I really think it depends on the person saying it, and the person receiving the comment... The fact this guy noticed and had the cajones to tell me he noticed made me feel so good! Because, he is right!!! Not all women can take the compliment the right way... but he was comfortable working with me and joking around (really dirty jokes mind you!) enough to know he could say it..

That is sweet, and he did it in a sensitive way. Most people just gawp and go "HOW much weight have you lost?" Which is just rude!

brindlechewy

I think it depends on the situation. One of my friends has been actively trying to lose weight. I think it's complimentary to tell her that she looks thin because that's what she's striving for.
On the other hand, I would hesitate to make a comment--complimentary or not--on somebody's appearance if I didn't know whether they were trying to lose weight, gain weight, etc. In this situation, even something meant as a compliment could really hurt somebody's feelings. For example, I have an aunt who loves to remark on how "nice and curvy" I am EVERY SINGLE TIME she sees me. The last time she said this, I was a size zero and desperate to be even smaller. Her comment was devastating because it made me feel, at the time, like a bloated, fat blimp. ( I admit that I wasn't in the best mental state at the time.) Because of incidents like this, I don't make uninvited comments on anybody's weight or body.

fteale

The other one I get all the time is "Was it intentional?" As if that makes any difference to anything!

bulletproofkasper

It depends how they word it i guess, i mean all love being told how good we look right ? but i had a work mate come up to me and say wow i looked at your facebook photos and you used to be really fat and i hated that but my came to see me at christmas and said i look wonderful and fit which felt amazing so it's all in the wording anf how they say it i think

Qarol

I don't like it AT ALL when people mention it.

CaptainGordo

I don't like it.

I do understand, though, when some extended family members do it, as it's not considered rude where they live. To be honest, it's liberating in a way to have the stigma taken away.

Mailaaa

i think it motivates me more when people notice my weightloss, makes me feel satisfied haha

christine24t

I'm flattered. I've worked hard for this. But it's still a little embarrassing.

Thena81

because losing weight is hella hard!! they r only admiring your loss and thinking how fab you look, i dont mind this at all! i KNOW I WAS fat and im so proud to have lost 29 lbs and looking to shed 19 more!!

taso42

I think the world would be a better place if we could all tell each other what we mean instead of trying to be polite all the time. "You look fat", "you look skinny", "you smell today, did you forget your deodorant?", "those jeans really do make your *kitten* look fat"

breanna528

I don't think people mean it to sound rude, they just want to let you know that they noticed all your hard work. I wouldn't be mad at all if people say that because it's good to know my work has paid off and people can actually notice!

Mrs_Charisma

I, like others, don't unless I KNOW it's a goal they are working towards. Otherwise, it can seem insensitive.


I had to tell my *step* daughter (we don't really use the step terms!) that it was rude to (constantly) comment on how "skinny" my daughter is. Yes, she's 5'7 and weighs 110 lbs (and eats like a horse). She didn't understand it until I asked her if she would walk up to someone and tell them how fat they are....

cramernh

I think the world would be a better place if we could all tell each other what we mean instead of trying to be polite all the time. "You look fat", "you look skinny", "you smell today, did you forget your deodorant?", "those jeans really do make your *kitten* look fat"

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAA>.... Pardon my Morgan Freeman moment...

my...my...myyyyyyy

Mallory0418

I recently went back home after being away for a year and most of the comments I got were something like "Wow! You look amazing!" or "I hardly recognize you!". I know what they mean, but I appreciated they didn't come right out and say anything about my weight. I did have one friend freak out go on and on about "how skinny I got". I appreciate the compliment but it was also kind of embarrassing. It probably also had something to do with the say she was yelling and jumping around. LOL

Oh, I also ran into a guy I graduated with who was always kind of mean to me. He didn't realize who I was at first, but when he did this is what he said, "Mal? Wow, you look better!" ....Uh, thanks? :grumble:

12skipafew99100

I don't mind at all! I don't think most people mean anything negative by it and are in fact trying to give a compliment or notice and validate all the hard work you've done. I'd rather people tell me how great I look now than to not hear anything about it at all.

this

happyhiram

I don't know why someone saying something about you losing weight would be offensive. "Wow! You've lost so much weight!" doesn't sound offensive to me at all. I feel rather nice that they were able to notice. Usually when they say that it's followed by a congratulations or something, though so maybe that's part of it.

juliecat1

why is saying "you look great! Youve lost so much weight" the same as saying "you were so fat before"?? I dont get that logic!

I absolutely will tell someone when they look good. Especially if I know them well and know they have been working at it hard. I also compliment random strangers on things like their shoes and clothes. *gasp* :flowerforyou:

12skipafew99100

The other one I get all the time is "Was it intentional?" As if that makes any difference to anything!

It makes a huge difference because people who are very ill sometimes lose weight without trying.:brokenheart:

Dreamerlove

I love it when people say I lost weight!! That means my hard work payed off!

Crystal_Pistol

I comment about loss, and if asked, I comment about gain too. I offer my loss comments freely, but unless it's someone who I'm close with, I only give gain feedback if asked. To a best friend? Totally unsolicited feedback.

LosingMyselfin2011

I've lost about 100 pounds, so when people haven't seen me for awhile they are always shocked and comment. Usually I don't mind, but the WORST one was when a lady said "OMG you look great..how much weight have you lost?" And I said "well actually, i've lost 100 pounds" and she says......
wait for it....

"OMG how does someone even BECOME 100 pounds overweight to begin with?!" With this just totally shocked look on her face. I didn't know what to say!! Then she started backing up and stumbling over her words...
And this is another mom at my kids CHRISTIAN school.
Some people...they just don't get it.

aippolito1

I don't mind people commenting on my losing weight, because it's a fact I didn't look that great before. Also, I see it as them acknowledging all my hard work. Everyone I know KNOWS that I'm doing it just by eating healthy and working out, so that's just how I see it. *shrug* I don't find it offensive.

amymeenieminymo

I guess it A. depends if I like the person or not (I think I would take the same comment differently depending if I liked the person or not, and B. how they say it.

But i totally get what you mean, I personally don't say anything because I am afraid of offending someone. There is a woman at my work that seems to have lost weight and I'd love to tell her she looks great, but like you said, is that really say you were fat before and look better now? Also I've wanted to tell my mother-in-law she looks good and I think she's lost weight, but again, fear I will offend. If in doubt, keep your mouth shut.

lind3400

I agree with everyone its how you say it that matters...a girl I work with I hadn't seen in awhile and when I did she had lost like 40lbs and looked amazing so I flat out told her " You look absolutely amazing" and her face lit up....Im pretty sure they were aware of the fact that they were bigger before but are overjoyed that people recognize how much hard work they did and I want people to do the same for me....its the best kind of motivation

Qarol

I think the world would be a better place if we could all tell each other what we mean instead of trying to be polite all the time. "You look fat", "you look skinny", "you smell today, did you forget your deodorant?", "those jeans really do make your *kitten* look fat"

"I don't like you..."

happyhiram

I guess I just don't get offended by things about my weight because it's over now. I've lost most of the weight that I needed to. A buddy of mine in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class the other day caught sight of my drivers license and told me it looked like I used to have a twin...and then promptly ate him.

You know what? I laughed. Really hard--because it was hilarious.