Why do I enjoy the sick feeling after I binge???

Fitness_Chick

I'm still confused about the whole quote thing.. Somehow I'm not able to see it straight... I still think I am the one who didn't take the whole quote. It had to be me, because I remember it looking funny when I hit reply. My brain is too foggy to figure it out unless I print the posts and look them over. But my printer is out of in,.

It helps to know that you were not always perfect, and that you have been where I am today. It's just going to take some time and rethinking. I have not always been a binger, and had thought people who binged were plain crazy. I was just thinking that if I could just figure out when it started and why, it could be easier to stop.

Everyone has had such great ideas in this post. I will need to print it at some point and sort it all out.

Brenda

P.S. I've spent my life in counseling and you know how it is. . . friends and coworkers don't want to hear about your successes and failures. They have their own busy lives and other topics of interest.

Oh heck Brenda...no worries on the quotes:drinker:

Ok, I'll see if I can you help you out with the quote deal. One thing I often mess up on is not scrolling completely down all the way to the bottome of the previous person's conversation. So when you hit quote you want to type in your response after the very last quote in brackets...it should be the one with the front slash then the word quote... you can also type up above right before the very first quote if there are number of quotes from others.

Clear as mud?:bigsmile:

Give it a shot and see if that helps any....

Please don't let others scare you away from the boards, I've done that and the only person we hurt is ourselves...and we've been doing that so much of our life already it's most definitely time to give that part up for all of us:flowerforyou:

Now quote away Chick:laugh:
FC

Dave198lbs

Dave - It helps to know that you were not always perfect, and that you have been where I am today. It's just going to take some time and rethinking. I have not always been a binger, and had thought people who binged were plain crazy. I was just thinking that if I could just figure out when it started and why, it could be easier to stop.

Everyone has had such great ideas in this post. I will need to print it at some point and sort it all out.

Brenda

P.S. I've spent my life in counseling and you know how it is. . . friends and coworkers don't want to hear about your successes and failures. They have their own busy lives and other topics of interest.

Still not perfect and I could very well be crazy...with the quotes...when a thread gets busy with may people responding...one person can respond at the same time and posts get sort of out of order and it can seem one response is to you when it was to a post above you and so on.

I dont like admitting my binging and my faults and hide them with bravado I guess. Your posts have been helpful to me, so please continue
Dave

stillkristi

Hi again everyone, I am so glad this thread is still going. I have several random thoughts and comments, I will try not to ramble.

FIrst, Brenda, looks like we are in the same business, I made a career change about 5 years ago, went to grad school and got my MSW. The strange thing I have found here on MFP is people who don't work addiction therapy at all are frequently telling me things that I tell my clients every day. It just goes to show that we are the most blind about our own addiction, and our own issues. Or, at least I am.

Yes, movement in my ticker! [I do a happy dance] Remember on Saturday when I mentioned I hadn't lost any weight, and you suggested I try on some clothing? That made me feel so good that I decided to weigh again on Monday, which was the official end of the week for me. So, nearly 4 lbs lost. Yay!!

I want to join Lucky Lep. (If I understood you correctly.) Dave, it sounds like you have done a great job on reframing your self talk about unhealthy foods. Thats great, one of the most powerful tools we have for dealing with our addiction is the self talk we use. One tiny word of caution, sometimes your reframe (processed foods are bad) won't work for everyone. It does sound a little condesending or belittleing when you ask people why they crave foods that are just going to do their body harm. Its true, but when people do that to me, (and they have done it a bunch of times!) I tend to get my back up, and then discount what they say, because they clearly don't understand me. I see you as pretty passionate about clean eating, which is great!! I doubt you want to make people feel foolish or less than for the struggles they have. Just a thought.

FC, you are wrong when you say the only one hurt was yourself when you left the boards. We all lose when you are not here. Your experience, your thoughtrulness, and just your presenc, knowing what you've accomplished is very important. Thanks!!

Fitness_Chick

I havnt seen anyone botherin anyone on this thread and when you quote someone it is only fair to take the whole qoute such as where I said I have binged...you know.sort of a karma rock kind of thing I guess...just my opinion

and we all have one:drinker: regarding quoting...... the quotes were messed up...that was not my doing, I simply pasted quote marks where I thought they belonged... my bad for being human OOPS:noway: Do you ever have anything kind to say? Curious why you feel such a need to always tear down others? It just seems senseless for someone to come onto a board to tear down when most here come for uplifting, knowledge, fitness ideas and sharing and to make changes to our lives. .

As far as all of your comments not being placed on the post I didn't see the rest of your comments as I got a bit confused by the quote deal so I have now put your words back into place .... my bad I didn't realize you were a binger. Sounds like you fit right into this thread then:drinker: Welcome

FC

Brenda_1965

Kristi- You made me chuckle again. I am sooo blind to my own addictions and in seeing the solutions to my own problems! It's nice to know that with as on top of things and as witty as you are, that your eyes are closed to your own addictions also. I've only recently admitted to myself that I binge... Since I have never purged, I figured I was not a binger! Notice, I changed my goal to 5 days at my calorie alotment., and started over! You are so right when you speak of the inspiration that comes from seeing a fitness ticker that says over 100 pounds has been lost. My sister has lost 90, and she lit my fire. She lives far away though, so when she is out of sight, she is out of mind so to say. About the power of self-talk, in third grade I instinctively began changing my self talk. I have ADD and was undiagnosed until adulthood. I've done my share of reading about the connections between allergies, ADD, and sugar in the diet. I am also far more attentive when I break the sugar addiction cycle. I just need to get back on the road again- I am beginning RIGHT NOW!:bigsmile:

I'm so excited for you! My memory isn't what it used to be, so thanks for confirming that! You have inspired me now, and I am thinking that "tomorrow is a new day". I was reallllly hoping to hear from you when this all got ugly.:embarassed: Yep, I was right, you are still there.

For everyone- isn't it amazing how nicely things work out when you can come clean with how you really feel? I do really want to make this change, and I have always been impatient with myself. My current counselor told my husband, in marriage counseling, that I am a 'complex, person with feelings that run deep'. I'm still chewing on this one! I like the feel of it though. It's hard to believe that I am 44 years old and still have so much to learn about myself.:embarassed:

Dave- I used to be an 'all or nothing person', but that was before having children. I've had to learn to be flexible with them and my special education English students in a lot of areas..mostly behavioral expectations recently. However, I've never been able to attain the 'all or nothing' more rigig view of humans because I can always see something enjoyable about someone who may appear at first, to be totally unlikeable. Sometimes I have to work on my vision a bit, but it seems to always come to me! :noway: You had me doubting my allergist (I am way too open minded sometimes), and even though you did say, "Whatever works" on that post", I put off taking my fluconazole. Tomorrow I'm going to go back on it. It's one pill every other day for up to a month until the cravings subside. You see, there are two ways to kill the overgrowth of candida yeast in the gut. Starve it, which you have been successful at, and for the less patient, kill it with an antifungal. What happens to me, since I am 'candida sensitive', is that just one binge causes an overgrowth and puts me back into the cycle again. There is a lot of research out there to support these theories. (Heck, I think I will take one before I go back to bed.. why wait?)

Nichole- I am currently under a doctor's care and have discussed my health concerns with him. I recently had my gallbladder removed, and have been one of the lucky people who it has helped feel much better! Thanks for the reality check though!

Leaf- thanks for the email and your offer of friendship!

Leprechaun- I want to join you also. I thought this would be easier than it is, and had to adjust my THE team goal! LOL I originally had 30 days under my calorie alotment, but had to adjust that. As I said, I'm not very patient with myself, which is why I've been an unsuccessful weight 'loser'. ( I literally LOST the big loser contest in my town! In 16 weeks I was only able to take off 20 pounds, which put me in last place. :embarassed: I had to stand on the stage and accept my fifth place prize in front of a crowd, with my 7percent weight loss standing. :embarassed: The very last place loser didn't even show up! I still have my dignity though, because I have kept off 15 of them for three years while not trying to lose anymore.)

Anyway, I'm back on the road again, and looking forward to a weekend of discipline, relaxation, rethinking my though patterns, and checking illegible special education English essays! :laugh: I'll be reading and supporting, but maybe a little hesitant in asking! I had no idea that bingeing was such a common phenomena though.'

Hope I didn't leave anyone out... Everyone who has posted, thank you. As I said, each of you have given me something to ponder this weekend. At this point, I AM thinking that is is a form of self mutilation and is rooted in my need to feel miserable, (as some of the earlier posts mentioned) as well as it being an addiction. As I said before, it amazes me that I have lived in this body for 44 years and still have so much to learn!

Brenda

Brenda_1965

OMG!!!!

GUESS WHAT!! I consumed 2600 calories yesterday instead of the normal 1600 and skipped my 500 calorie burn one hour workout. Today the scale dropped a pound! GO FIGURE! :bigsmile: I'm ready to conquer the world (and all this paperwork on my desk!!!) Gotta go! HAPPY DANCE!:bigsmile:

Brenda

Dave198lbs

OMG!!!!

GUESS WHAT!! I consumed 2600 calories yesterday instead of the normal 1600 and skipped my 500 calorie burn one hour workout. Today the scale dropped a pound! GO FIGURE! :bigsmile: I'm ready to conquer the world (and all this paperwork on my desk!!!) Gotta go! HAPPY DANCE!:bigsmile:

Brenda

Happy is good...go figure, huh!
Have a great day!
Dave

Brenda_1965

One of my 'supportive' skinny friends informed me today at lunch that, "It'll show up tomorrow." LOL:laugh:

Brenda

stillkristi

So, tomorrow, don't weigh! Seriously, thanks for the kind words - I really admire you for looking into your feelings and the behaviors they create in this public forum. I believe if we are to make lasting change, we need to look within ourselves to find where we are out of harmony so to speak. As we bring balance (harmony) to our lives, then this journey we are on is not a diet, and not a white knuckle ride from one weigh-in to the next, but rather a new life - filled with healthy eating, enjoyable exercise and a new sense of self confidence and purpose. If we can do this, the weight loss is a byproduct of our inner strength and contentment, rather than the end we are trying to achieve. I just believe that sometimes we tell ourselves "If I could just lose this weight, I would be happy." I've been doing that for 30 years. Happiness comes from a life well-lived, and I am in charge of living my life. I don't know if that makes any sense, but it works for me.

Have a great day everyone! :happy:

Brenda_1965

OMG!! Our tickers are the same!! Three more pounds! Great for you!!!!! JUST Don't panic if it goes up a pound or two because today you have just reached your first day at getting to see that number on the scale. I mean, two weeks ago I saw 191 on my scale. When it went up the next day I thought, "new weight is easier to lose, and this IS new. I saw that number yesterday and it will be easier to reach it the next time!"

Yes, I agree with your philosophy. I used to teach at a college and a student once showed me her before and after pictures. I was so excited about how great she looked and I'll never forget what she said to me,
"Brenda, I always thought that if I could be skinny again, I'd be happy. But my life isn't really any different."

That has been 10 years ago and it helps me understand a lot of things!

Brenda

Nich0le

Nichole- I am currently under a doctor's care and have discussed my health concerns with him. I recently had my gallbladder removed, and have been one of the lucky people who it has helped feel much better! Thanks for the reality check though!

Glad to hear it and from your other post you seem to be feeling much better today! :happy: I am happy to see you did come back, I think that most people here are just wanting to help others. We are all at different stages in our goals to become healthier people and I don't think anyone wants to think someone is struggling.

Your quote from your student is perfect, until each of deals with why we choose to feed the beast we will never truly be happy. Two things we should all remember is that money doesn't buy happiness and being thin doesn't make your life better, all that bothers the soul is still out there regardless of our packaging.

Good luck Brenda :flowerforyou:

Brenda_1965

Thanks!:happy: