no clue where else to post this - child wetting her pants at

dirtbikegirl5

I'd have a conversation with her teacher first. Sometimes there are circumstances at school, such as a kid making fun of her in the bathroom or something. Then you need to talk with your daughter. Make sure she knows you are not angry or upset with her, but you want to understand why this is happening and how you can help her.

I really hate to bring this up, but sudden accidents like this that are unrelated to potty training CAN be a sign of sexual abuse, though that is not the only cause. It is something to be aware of, though.

If you can't get to the bottom of things, you may want to take her to the doctor for a checkup. If all physical causes are ruled out, a counselor might be able to help you figure out what's going on.

If it is abuse, please feel free to message me. My husband abused my daughter, so I've been there and would be glad to help you in any way I can. I sincerely hope that's not it and that it's just something simple like not wanting to go at school for some reason.

Please keep us posted!

The abuse is the first thing that came to mind. My ex has the girls every other week. I would not accuse anyone of something like that and she has not said anything like that, but yes, it did cross my mind. She is not around anyone else other than us and my MIL.

cspence2270

Not sure sweetie... Is she emarassed when it happens? Maybe just being to busy with other things she holds it too long...

No, that is the strange thing. She is not embarrassed at all. She hides it.

If she's hiding it she's embarrassed....

YEP -- this is true.

jcjsjones

My daughter had the same issue and she is 8. When I took her to the doctor they said that her bladder was constantly giving her brain signs that she had to go to the bathroom. Because of this, she couldn't distinguish when she did and didn't have to go. They said that it is a pretty common thing in young girls and gave her some medication to calm it down. Since she has been on it the accidents have stopped. They said to keep her on it for about a year, and then we will wean her off. The doctor said that she will probably outgrow it by then. If she is not having any emotional stress, that may be the issue as well.

SimplyShanRunning

I know I am going to be the bad guy right now.

First ....I am with the others going to a professional is the best advice....especially if its a new onset problem. Usually it comes from an emotional trauma at school or elsewhere but I am not a professional

Second.....I understand your confused and worried trust me I am a parent....but, atleast for me....I would have asked someone closer to to me...I just don't really thing this is where it should be disucussed...But again this is my opinion....I tend to keep things with my child a bit more private

Still best of luck and I hope the issue resolves soon and shes is ok

IronmanPanda

I'd have a conversation with her teacher first. Sometimes there are circumstances at school, such as a kid making fun of her in the bathroom or something. Then you need to talk with your daughter. Make sure she knows you are not angry or upset with her, but you want to understand why this is happening and how you can help her.

I really hate to bring this up, but sudden accidents like this that are unrelated to potty training CAN be a sign of sexual abuse, though that is not the only cause. It is something to be aware of, though.

If you can't get to the bottom of things, you may want to take her to the doctor for a checkup. If all physical causes are ruled out, a counselor might be able to help you figure out what's going on.

If it is abuse, please feel free to message me. My husband abused my daughter, so I've been there and would be glad to help you in any way I can. I sincerely hope that's not it and that it's just something simple like not wanting to go at school for some reason.

Please keep us posted!

The abuse is the first thing that came to mind. My ex has the girls every other week. I would not accuse anyone of something like that and she has not said anything like that, but yes, it did cross my mind. She is not around anyone else other than us and my MIL.

And her teachers and other kids at school and who knows who else while she's out of your care. You don't need to accuse anyone but I highly doubt anyone here is capable of actually diagnosing the situation over the internet. You really should go to a professional.

cspence2270

I know several people have brought this up but seeing her doctor is a good place to start, What you are saying can be a sign of a UTI- urinary tract infection.

and as a few others have pointed out signs of some type of stress in her life or something has happened. Talk to her and also make a doctor appt to see if there is a medical reason.

Qarol

but I am not a professional

I would bet...none of us are

LorinaLynn

I would think if it was a medical issue, it would happen a lot more often than three times in three months.

I do remember when I was around that age, we had a really strict teacher who often ignored kids when they raised their hands to use the restroom, telling us we should have gone after lunch, until one girl wet herself in class. THEN, and only then, did she say, "Well, if you really, really, really need to go, just get up and go, even if I don't call on you." It still strikes me as odd, and mean, that she managed to blame the girl, who was only following the rules of don't talk in class and raise your hand if you need to be excused. We were first graders... how were we supposed to know when to follow and when to break the rules?

dirtbikegirl5

These responses are great. I am definitely going to talk to the Ped when she calls me back. I have talked to my daughter and have explained that I am not angry or upset, however, my MIL has flipped out on her already - screaming and lecturing her and then lecturing me so that doesn't help my daughter.
I will also talk to the teachers. My daughter is not overweight, so she does not get teased about that. She wears glasses but there was only one little girl who teased her and that was last year. She told me about it right away and I addressed it. She also has vitiligo, white patches on the skin. She says that the kids ask her what it is and she tells them. They don't understand and they end up dropping the subject. They don't make fun of her, as far as what she has told me. She has had this for years so I don't think that is contributing to the wetting.

ilookthetype

I'd have a conversation with her teacher first. Sometimes there are circumstances at school, such as a kid making fun of her in the bathroom or something. Then you need to talk with your daughter. Make sure she knows you are not angry or upset with her, but you want to understand why this is happening and how you can help her.

I really hate to bring this up, but sudden accidents like this that are unrelated to potty training CAN be a sign of sexual abuse, though that is not the only cause. It is something to be aware of, though.

If you can't get to the bottom of things, you may want to take her to the doctor for a checkup. If all physical causes are ruled out, a counselor might be able to help you figure out what's going on.

If it is abuse, please feel free to message me. My husband abused my daughter, so I've been there and would be glad to help you in any way I can. I sincerely hope that's not it and that it's just something simple like not wanting to go at school for some reason.

Please keep us posted!

The abuse is the first thing that came to mind. My ex has the girls every other week. I would not accuse anyone of something like that and she has not said anything like that, but yes, it did cross my mind. She is not around anyone else other than us and my MIL.

And her teachers and other kids at school and who knows who else while she's out of your care. You don't need to accuse anyone but I highly doubt anyone here is capable of actually diagnosing the situation over the internet. You really should go to a professional.

Exactly. Professionals can tell you if maybe it's just a UTI, or she's just embarrassed about something at school, or if a girl in her class made her feel uncomfortable. Therapists are trained to talk to children without implanting false memories, see a therapist, it might just be a minor thing.

Don't just accuse anyone without reason and without her seeing a therapist.

rundgrenfan

We went through this with one of our daughters. We have a "normal" family and it was not due to any special circumstance. She's very bright and we were baffled and frustrated! Wearing a pullup to sleepovers and at camp was becoming an issue.

Two years ago, she was going on 8 years old. We told her if she could stay dry for two weeks, we would buy her an iPad (they were brand new then). She did and has had maybe two nighttime accidents since then, like if she stays up very late at night and sleeps in.

Somehow, nothing else had motivated her before that. I give my husband all the credit for figuring out that an iPad would make her care enough to fix this problem!

Good luck.

CaptainGordo

Pediatricians are good at stuff like this.

MelMoly

It's prolly stress...or even a bully or something you don't know...Talk to her about it and don't make her feel like it is her fault

Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused

I still do this from time to time.

Ok, kidding. I'll be serious. That sounds awful for all of you. Definitely take her to a doctor to rule out any possibilty of it being some physical thing. If it is not a medical thing, you might want to hear their suggestions on how to further evaluate her problem.

dirtbikegirl5

I know I am going to be the bad guy right now.

First ....I am with the others going to a professional is the best advice....especially if its a new onset problem. Usually it comes from an emotional trauma at school or elsewhere but I am not a professional

Second.....I understand your confused and worried trust me I am a parent....but, atleast for me....I would have asked someone closer to to me...I just don't really thing this is where it should be disucussed...But again this is my opinion....I tend to keep things with my child a bit more private

Still best of luck and I hope the issue resolves soon and shes is ok

You are right. I did ask family members and friends first and not one of them had this problem. I found information on the internet. That was helpful, but I wanted to find someone who dealt with this first hand. I appreciate your response and I am definitely going to a professional.

ShrinkRapt451

These responses are great. I am definitely going to talk to the Ped when she calls me back. I have talked to my daughter and have explained that I am not angry or upset, however, my MIL has flipped out on her already - screaming and lecturing her and then lecturing me so that doesn't help my daughter.
I will also talk to the teachers. My daughter is not overweight, so she does not get teased about that. She wears glasses but there was only one little girl who teased her and that was last year. She told me about it right away and I addressed it. She also has vitiligo, white patches on the skin. She says that the kids ask her what it is and she tells them. They don't understand and they end up dropping the subject. They don't make fun of her, as far as what she has told me. She has had this for years so I don't think that is contributing to the wetting.

Not to point fingers, but if your MIL flipped out on her for this (I mean, REALLY).... then how comfortable is your child being cared for by her grandmother? If the issue is with MIL (kid is anxious about leaving school and going to MIL's house, that sort of thing), I have a sneaky suspicion that she's going to be very reluctant to tell you about it directly. I hope you told your MIL to drop the subject with your daughter and let you deal with it. You're her mother.

ilookthetype

We went through this with one of our daughters. We have a "normal" family and it was not due to any special circumstance. She's very bright and we were baffled and frustrated! Wearing a pullup to sleepovers and at camp was becoming an issue.

Two years ago, she was going on 8 years old. We told her if she could stay dry for two weeks, we would buy her an iPad (they were brand new then). She did and has had maybe two nighttime accidents since then, like if she stays up very late at night and sleeps in.

Somehow, nothing else had motivated her before that. I give my husband all the credit for figuring out that an iPad would make her care enough to fix this problem!

Good luck.

I assume you took your child to see a pediatrician and/or therapist before bribing her...

These responses are great. I am definitely going to talk to the Ped when she calls me back. I have talked to my daughter and have explained that I am not angry or upset, however, my MIL has flipped out on her already - screaming and lecturing her and then lecturing me so that doesn't help my daughter.

Not to point fingers, but if your MIL flipped out on her for this (I mean, REALLY).... then how comfortable is your child being cared for by her grandmother? If the issue is with MIL (kid is anxious about leaving school and going to MIL's house, that sort of thing), I have a sneaky suspicion that she's going to be very reluctant to tell you about it directly. I hope you told your MIL to drop the subject with your daughter and let you deal with it. You're her mother.

Very good point.

ladybg81

Is it happening in the same places each time. I thought you mentioned that it happened twice with your MIL. So 2 times out of the 3 was with the same person. (If I am reading everything right.) You also said that you and the dad are not together. Is it possible that the MIL is talking ugly about you or asking the kids lots of questions while they are with her. This could stress a kid out. I am by no means a professional here; I am just putting together the VERY limited amount of info you are putting out here. Good luck.

ThePhoenixRose

You'd be shocked at how things can affect kids. My daughter had been trained for over a year when i had my stroke. I went into the hospital, and the kids didn't see me for 30 days. She started having accidents. It was scary for her not to have me around, to have to be going to daycare all the time, when she was used to only VERY part time, to be shipped off to family to help take care of her while i was sick and the hubs was at the hospital with me as much as he could be.

Clearly that was a major event, but it also can be smaller things, like a schedule change, or daycare change. As others have said, Dr. is your best bet. My daughter has also had countless bladder infections, so you never know! Good luck!

CouchSpud

Friend of mine has the same issue, daughter is rooughly your daughters age and she is seperated from the dad. We know it's more commong when the little one is stressed, so there is a very good indicator. Go and see a Professional, make sure you get clearance on any physical issues and then move forward to a Psychatrist or Psychologist...