FC leaving

Phoenix_Rising

If this is true, I am going to be so terribly sad. :sad: :sad: :sad: :brokenheart: :brokenheart: :brokenheart:

emtink

what kellch said and

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

RachVR6

Well said Kellch! :flowerforyou: :smooched:

Phoenix_Rising

Just adults here getting healthy, meeting friends, and leaning on each other for support. :flowerforyou:

That was part of the problem. There were too many people making personal attacks against her, many unseen through private messages.

But I never insulted her or put her down. .........

And sometimes I just felt she was too worried about being accepted. :flowerforyou: ....

I feel that she had a lot of self love issues and was too worried about other people and where she fit in.

While you have lost 40lbs of your 43lbs goal (if I am reading your ticker correctly), you have never experienced what it is like to weigh 200+lbs more than your advisable weight. (Neither have I.) I can only imagine the self esteem issues ANYONE would rightly have dealing with this issue, topped with people hounding you and harassing you about if your weight loss was real and what your real motives were. I think you need to re-evaluate your perspective on not understanding her self esteem issues. I know my body/ self esteem issues are a big deal, and I was only 75+lbs overweight.

ChubbyBunny

Hmmm.... well.... if that's the case it sucks (as with anyone who feels they HAVE to leave).

The only "legitimate" excuse there should be for leaving this site is not wanting to do it anymore (death or extreme illness excluded).

Seriously, it's a weightloss site first... I don't think there should be anything going on to drive people out, but that is just my opinion. Oddly enough, it does seem to be happening though (for whatever reason...haven't been paying much attention).

Hope she sticks around... she has some good stuff.

plussizemommy

She only messaged me once and she seemed like a very nice person. She said that she does have problems with people on here thinking she is not real because she will not post pictures of her *before and after* I told her I think it is because most people would be so proud of that accomplishment that they would post tons of pics (think antijared) and that I think people just expect to see pics. I know on other weight loss boards, if you say you have has a loss everyone immediately asks "can we see pics of before and after"
She was a great inspiration and I could care less if she had pics or not, just seeing that number on her page for "weight lost" was inspiring to me!! As a person who needs to lose 100 pounds or more, I love seeing those big numbers in peoples tickers.
Please don't leave FC!!!

WillPillageYourVillageForFood

I am sure that this will be taken wrong, but here goes.....first off no one person has the power to drive another person away. If a person chooses to leave, they are the ones responsible for their leaving. Everyone makes a conscious choice on how to react or not react to other people's posts. Do I always agree with everyone....no.....but I also do not feel as if I am wronged when someone expresses an opinion different from my own. As far as saying that people are sending hurtful PM's, my suggestion would be to pick your friends list wisely and if you want to have 100's of friends then just block the PM's you find offensive. I am tired of people on this site who want to throw a pity party everytime someone disagrees with their philosophy.

kellch

Just adults here getting healthy, meeting friends, and leaning on each other for support. :flowerforyou:

That was part of the problem. There were too many people making personal attacks against her, many unseen through private messages.

But I never insulted her or put her down. .........

And sometimes I just felt she was too worried about being accepted. :flowerforyou: ....

I feel that she had a lot of self love issues and was too worried about other people and where she fit in.

While you have lost 40lbs of your 43lbs goal (if I am reading your ticker correctly), you have never experienced what it is like to weigh 200+lbs more than your advisable weight. (Neither have I.) I can only imagine the self esteem issues ANYONE would rightly have dealing with this issue, topped with people hounding you and harassing you about if your weight loss was real and what your real motives were. I think you need to re-evaluate your perspective on not understanding her self esteem issues. I know my body/ self esteem issues are a big deal, and I was only 75+lbs overweight.

I'm sorry, I feel you're misunderstanding what I'm saying. You are right I've never been 200+ lbs over my weight. And I don't have that issue. I felt very insecure about myself at the point I was at. the 40lbs is what I lost since MFP. I had lost 30 before that. And yes, I was very insecure with myself. I gained the weight while in a mentally abusive relationship. The guy would call me a stupid, ugly, fat, who** every single day. The one that was supposed to love me the most. (of course he wasn't like that until months after I moved in with him), the man who held a shotgun up to my head, the man that accused me of sleeping with anyone I looked in the direction of, the one who shoved me down the stairs and caused me to have a miscarraige. I have had my own issues. We all have our own issues and walk different paths. I did have very low self esteem. I was in a very abusive relationship. Mainly mentally but turned physically right before I left. I did get to the point of wanting to kill myself. I finally got out of it knowing that if I didn't leave, I would end up dead one way or another. After years of working on loving myself, I am stronger for having gone through it. Before I was with him I had self-esteem issues also. I still do, but I also have accepted myself and learned to love myself.
Maybe my wording came out wrong.:flowerforyou: What I am trying to say is we have to learn to love ourselves. And I was more or less trying to put the message out there for her not to worry about those other people. Love herself. Don't worry about being accepted by everyone. I know I am not accepted by everyone. But I am ok with that. It's how life works We are all very different people. I just feel she needs to work on loving herself and know she has a lot to be proud of. I was trying to explain what I learned through experiences of my own, the hard way. I was trying to offer support. Sorry if it came out wrong. And sorry if it's coming out wrong again. No bad intentions here. :flowerforyou: Just trying to offer advice. And I'm busy at work so trying to type in between work I know I lose my thought sometimes and try to pick up where I left off without rereading everything.:flowerforyou:

kellch

Also, if people are questioning her weightloss? Forget them, she and God knows the truth and that is what is truly important :flowerforyou: (if God is your belief, if not well you and whatever/whomever you believe in or even just the fact that YOU know what you've done, forget everyone else)

mommared53

I'm so sorry to hear that FC is leaving. She will definitely be missed. Maybe someone can convince her to stay and just ignore the ones that are negative to her.

I can understand her not wanting to post her pic. I had/have a lot of self image and self esteem issues too but as I get older I'm getting to the point where I don't care so much what people think of my looks. It's really what's inside that matters and if people don't like me for me then that's their problem. And if they don't like my looks then don't look at me.

Hopefully FC will eventually get to that point too. I wish I had gotten to know her a little better and maybe I could help convince her to stay; not for anyone else but for herself. I hope whatever she decides to do she will not give up or let anything or anyone sabotage her weight loss goals.

Good luck to you FC. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

pdxmomof2

Just adults here getting healthy, meeting friends, and leaning on each other for support. :flowerforyou:

That was part of the problem. There were too many people making personal attacks against her, many unseen through private messages.

But I never insulted her or put her down. .........

And sometimes I just felt she was too worried about being accepted. :flowerforyou: ....

I feel that she had a lot of self love issues and was too worried about other people and where she fit in.

While you have lost 40lbs of your 43lbs goal (if I am reading your ticker correctly), you have never experienced what it is like to weigh 200+lbs more than your advisable weight. (Neither have I.) I can only imagine the self esteem issues ANYONE would rightly have dealing with this issue, topped with people hounding you and harassing you about if your weight loss was real and what your real motives were. I think you need to re-evaluate your perspective on not understanding her self esteem issues. I know my body/ self esteem issues are a big deal, and I was only 75+lbs overweight.

I'm sorry, I feel you're misunderstanding what I'm saying. You are right I've never been 200+ lbs over my weight. And I don't have that issue. I felt very insecure about myself at the point I was at. the 40lbs is what I lost since MFP. I had lost 30 before that. And yes, I was very insecure with myself. I gained the weight while in a mentally abusive relationship. The guy would call me a stupid, ugly, fat, who** every single day. The one that was supposed to love me the most. (of course he wasn't like that until months after I moved in with him), the man who held a shotgun up to my head, the man that accused me of sleeping with anyone I looked in the direction of, the one who shoved me down the stairs and caused me to have a miscarraige. I have had my own issues. We all have our own issues and walk different paths. I did have very low self esteem. I was in a very abusive relationship. Mainly mentally but turned physically right before I left. I did get to the point of wanting to kill myself. I finally got out of it knowing that if I didn't leave, I would end up dead one way or another. After years of working on loving myself, I am stronger for have going through it. Before I was with him I had self-esteem issues also. I still do, but I also have accepted myself and learned to love myself.
Maybe my wording came out wrong.:flowerforyou: What I am trying to say is we have to learn to love ourselves. And I was more or less trying to put the message out there for her not to worry about those other people. Love herself. Don't worry about being accepted by everyone. I know I am not accepted by everyone. But I am ok with that. It's how life works We are all very different people. I just feel she needs to work on loving herself and know she has a lot to be proud of. I was trying to explain what I learned through experiences of my own, the hard way. I was trying to offer support. Sorry if it came out wrong. And sorry if it's coming out wrong again. No bad intentions here. :flowerforyou: Just trying to offer advice. And I'm busy at work so trying to type in between work I know I lose my thought sometimes and try to pick up where I left off without rereading everything.:flowerforyou:

kmaug

I think that is sad, i haven't been here for very long but she seemed very motivating. is there not a way to report abuse on this website?

Anna_Banana

This is crazy. I hate to see somebody go that was such an insparation to so many.

For those questioning her weight loss. If you've been here long enough you've seen pictures of FC and it's incredible. Yes she still needs to lose over 100 pounds, but you can definately tell that she has lost over 100. I think there are a few people who don't post pictures on here, and we really never question their progress or goals. Heck there are people on here that I know have to be lying about their age (the one I'm thinking of says they are about 40 years older than they actually are), but no body questions that.

I think it's horrible that people personally attack her in pm's. I'm sorry to see her go, but I hope she still watches the boards and when the people causing her pain leaves she'll come back.

Best of luck to her.

Phoenix_Rising

Just adults here getting healthy, meeting friends, and leaning on each other for support. :flowerforyou:

That was part of the problem. There were too many people making personal attacks against her, many unseen through private messages.

But I never insulted her or put her down. .........

And sometimes I just felt she was too worried about being accepted. :flowerforyou: ....

I feel that she had a lot of self love issues and was too worried about other people and where she fit in.

While you have lost 40lbs of your 43lbs goal (if I am reading your ticker correctly), you have never experienced what it is like to weigh 200+lbs more than your advisable weight. (Neither have I.) I can only imagine the self esteem issues ANYONE would rightly have dealing with this issue, topped with people hounding you and harassing you about if your weight loss was real and what your real motives were. I think you need to re-evaluate your perspective on not understanding her self esteem issues. I know my body/ self esteem issues are a big deal, and I was only 75+lbs overweight.

I'm sorry, I feel you're misunderstanding what I'm saying. You are right I've never been 200+ lbs over my weight. And I don't have that issue. I felt very insecure about myself at the point I was at. the 40lbs is what I lost since MFP. I had lost 30 before that. And yes, I was very insecure with myself. I gained the weight while in a mentally abusive relationship. The guy would call me a stupid, ugly, fat, who** every single day. The one that was supposed to love me the most. (of course he wasn't like that until months after I moved in with him), the man who held a shotgun up to my head, the man that accused me of sleeping with anyone I looked in the direction of, the one who shoved me down the stairs and caused me to have a miscarraige. I have had my own issues. We all have our own issues and walk different paths. I did have very low self esteem. I was in a very abusive relationship. Mainly mentally but turned physically right before I left. I did get to the point of wanting to kill myself. I finally got out of it knowing that if I didn't leave, I would end up dead one way or another. After years of working on loving myself, I am stronger for having gone through it. Before I was with him I had self-esteem issues also. I still do, but I also have accepted myself and learned to love myself.
Maybe my wording came out wrong.:flowerforyou: What I am trying to say is we have to learn to love ourselves. And I was more or less trying to put the message out there for her not to worry about those other people. Love herself. Don't worry about being accepted by everyone. I know I am not accepted by everyone. But I am ok with that. It's how life works We are all very different people. I just feel she needs to work on loving herself and know she has a lot to be proud of. I was trying to explain what I learned through experiences of my own, the hard way. I was trying to offer support. Sorry if it came out wrong. And sorry if it's coming out wrong again. No bad intentions here. :flowerforyou: Just trying to offer advice. And I'm busy at work so trying to type in between work I know I lose my thought sometimes and try to pick up where I left off without rereading everything.:flowerforyou:

Thanks for responding.
I was taking it much differently before. :flowerforyou:

Anna_Banana

Heaven's sake Kellch you are aweful talkative this morning.:bigsmile:

heather0mc

I'm sorry, I feel you're misunderstanding what I'm saying. You are right I've never been 200+ lbs over my weight. And I don't have that issue. I felt very insecure about myself at the point I was at. the 40lbs is what I lost since MFP. I had lost 30 before that. And yes, I was very insecure with myself. I gained the weight while in a mentally abusive relationship. The guy would call me a stupid, ugly, fat, who** every single day. The one that was supposed to love me the most. (of course he wasn't like that until months after I moved in with him), the man who held a shotgun up to my head, the man that accused me of sleeping with anyone I looked in the direction of, the one who shoved me down the stairs and caused me to have a miscarraige. I have had my own issues. We all have our own issues and walk different paths. I did have very low self esteem. I was in a very abusive relationship. Mainly mentally but turned physically right before I left. I did get to the point of wanting to kill myself. I finally got out of it knowing that if I didn't leave, I would end up dead one way or another. After years of working on loving myself, I am stronger for having gone through it. Before I was with him I had self-esteem issues also. I still do, but I also have accepted myself and learned to love myself.

ugh, i hated reading this (because i feel so terrible you went thru it) but appreciate you sharing it. i too was in a very abusive relationship i had to get out of. it really jacked with my head for years. if i saw him now, i would still be afraid. but i have grown and moved past it - i just harbor very scary memories somewhere in the back of my head.

anyways, i know it was a little OT but wanted to say congrats for being strong and getting away from that hell. :flowerforyou: when i hear about situations similar to mine, i want to reach out with the whole - you are not alone - reminder

kellch

Just adults here getting healthy, meeting friends, and leaning on each other for support. :flowerforyou:

That was part of the problem. There were too many people making personal attacks against her, many unseen through private messages.

But I never insulted her or put her down. .........

And sometimes I just felt she was too worried about being accepted. :flowerforyou: ....

I feel that she had a lot of self love issues and was too worried about other people and where she fit in.

While you have lost 40lbs of your 43lbs goal (if I am reading your ticker correctly), you have never experienced what it is like to weigh 200+lbs more than your advisable weight. (Neither have I.) I can only imagine the self esteem issues ANYONE would rightly have dealing with this issue, topped with people hounding you and harassing you about if your weight loss was real and what your real motives were. I think you need to re-evaluate your perspective on not understanding her self esteem issues. I know my body/ self esteem issues are a big deal, and I was only 75+lbs overweight.

I'm sorry, I feel you're misunderstanding what I'm saying. You are right I've never been 200+ lbs over my weight. And I don't have that issue. I felt very insecure about myself at the point I was at. the 40lbs is what I lost since MFP. I had lost 30 before that. And yes, I was very insecure with myself. I gained the weight while in a mentally abusive relationship. The guy would call me a stupid, ugly, fat, who** every single day. The one that was supposed to love me the most. (of course he wasn't like that until months after I moved in with him), the man who held a shotgun up to my head, the man that accused me of sleeping with anyone I looked in the direction of, the one who shoved me down the stairs and caused me to have a miscarraige. I have had my own issues. We all have our own issues and walk different paths. I did have very low self esteem. I was in a very abusive relationship. Mainly mentally but turned physically right before I left. I did get to the point of wanting to kill myself. I finally got out of it knowing that if I didn't leave, I would end up dead one way or another. After years of working on loving myself, I am stronger for having gone through it. Before I was with him I had self-esteem issues also. I still do, but I also have accepted myself and learned to love myself.
Maybe my wording came out wrong.:flowerforyou: What I am trying to say is we have to learn to love ourselves. And I was more or less trying to put the message out there for her not to worry about those other people. Love herself. Don't worry about being accepted by everyone. I know I am not accepted by everyone. But I am ok with that. It's how life works We are all very different people. I just feel she needs to work on loving herself and know she has a lot to be proud of. I was trying to explain what I learned through experiences of my own, the hard way. I was trying to offer support. Sorry if it came out wrong. And sorry if it's coming out wrong again. No bad intentions here. :flowerforyou: Just trying to offer advice. And I'm busy at work so trying to type in between work I know I lose my thought sometimes and try to pick up where I left off without rereading everything.:flowerforyou:

Thanks for responding.
I was taking it much differently before. :flowerforyou:

Not a problem. It's the truth. I meant no harm. Sometimes I don't word things properly or I get distracted at work and forget what I was typing. I know what I'm thinking in my head but I forget that sometimes people don't have ESP :laugh: :flowerforyou:

kellch

Heaven's sake Kellch you are aweful talkative this morning.:bigsmile:

:embarassed:

I feel very strongly about some things. :ohwell: :laugh: And sometimes I feel like my advice might help only to find out it came out wrong and I make situations worse :embarassed:

Anna_Banana

Heaven's sake Kellch you are aweful talkative this morning.:bigsmile:

:embarassed:

I feel very strongly about some things. :ohwell: :laugh: And sometimes I feel like my advice might help only to find out it came out wrong and I make situations worse :embarassed:

I wasn't saying that you were giving bad advice, It just took me forever to read it all. I think your great. And I'm glad you are in a much better place than you were before.

Phoenix_Rising

Not a problem. It's the truth. I meant no harm. Sometimes I don't word things properly or I get distracted at work and forget what I was typing. I know what I'm thinking in my head but I forget that sometimes people don't have ESP :laugh: :flowerforyou:

Oh, I HAVE ESP.
But I forgot it at home today.
Don't keep a spare at work.

kellch

I'm sorry, I feel you're misunderstanding what I'm saying. You are right I've never been 200+ lbs over my weight. And I don't have that issue. I felt very insecure about myself at the point I was at. the 40lbs is what I lost since MFP. I had lost 30 before that. And yes, I was very insecure with myself. I gained the weight while in a mentally abusive relationship. The guy would call me a stupid, ugly, fat, who** every single day. The one that was supposed to love me the most. (of course he wasn't like that until months after I moved in with him), the man who held a shotgun up to my head, the man that accused me of sleeping with anyone I looked in the direction of, the one who shoved me down the stairs and caused me to have a miscarraige. I have had my own issues. We all have our own issues and walk different paths. I did have very low self esteem. I was in a very abusive relationship. Mainly mentally but turned physically right before I left. I did get to the point of wanting to kill myself. I finally got out of it knowing that if I didn't leave, I would end up dead one way or another. After years of working on loving myself, I am stronger for having gone through it. Before I was with him I had self-esteem issues also. I still do, but I also have accepted myself and learned to love myself.

ugh, i hated reading this (because i feel so terrible you went thru it) but appreciate you sharing it. i too was in a very abusive relationship i had to get out of. it really jacked with my head for years. if i saw him now, i would still be afraid. but i have grown and moved past it - i just harbor very scary memories somewhere in the back of my head.

anyways, i know it was a little OT but wanted to say congrats for being strong and getting away from that hell. :flowerforyou: when i hear about situations similar to mine, i want to reach out with the whole - you are not alone - reminder

Thank you its a tough scary thing to go through. I'm glad you got out as well. I'm here if you ever need anyone to talk to :flowerforyou:

kellch

Heaven's sake Kellch you are aweful talkative this morning.:bigsmile:

:embarassed:

I feel very strongly about some things. :ohwell: :laugh: And sometimes I feel like my advice might help only to find out it came out wrong and I make situations worse :embarassed:

I wasn't saying that you were giving bad advice, It just took me forever to read it all. I think your great. And I'm glad you are in a much better place than you were before.

:flowerforyou:

kellch

Not a problem. It's the truth. I meant no harm. Sometimes I don't word things properly or I get distracted at work and forget what I was typing. I know what I'm thinking in my head but I forget that sometimes people don't have ESP :laugh: :flowerforyou:

Oh, I HAVE ESP.
But I forgot it at home today.
Don't keep a spare at work.

:laugh:

You should always keep a spare in your car :bigsmile: :laugh:

Anna_Banana

Not a problem. It's the truth. I meant no harm. Sometimes I don't word things properly or I get distracted at work and forget what I was typing. I know what I'm thinking in my head but I forget that sometimes people don't have ESP :laugh: :flowerforyou:

Oh, I HAVE ESP.
But I forgot it at home today.
Don't keep a spare at work.

:laugh:

You should always keep a spare in your car :bigsmile: :laugh:

I tried using my spare right now, but everybody kept asking me why I was carrying a tire around:huh:

kellch

Not a problem. It's the truth. I meant no harm. Sometimes I don't word things properly or I get distracted at work and forget what I was typing. I know what I'm thinking in my head but I forget that sometimes people don't have ESP :laugh: :flowerforyou:

Oh, I HAVE ESP.
But I forgot it at home today.
Don't keep a spare at work.

:laugh:

You should always keep a spare in your car :bigsmile: :laugh:

I tried using my spare right now, but everybody kept asking me why I was carrying a tire around:huh: