Weight Loss with children

ishallnotwant

Oh I tottaly agree, what I was talking about is their are children phycoligest that have studied children, and they found that a child veiws their mother as an extension of themseves and they aren't really mindful of others until after they learn themselves then they learn their invoerment then others and how they corolate around them, it's about age five that they start to kinda see the difference between them and others, but no the rules should be set inplace from before, I agree with this tottaly

:flowerforyou:

fteale

Sometimes there is a reason you can't get as much exercise as you would like, and I don't think it helps anyone who is frustrated about that fact to criticise them for making excuses.

I wasn't criticizing anyone, I was trying to post something encouraging. I have times when I can't find time for exercise as well. I guess negative people are going to find something negative in anything that is posted though.

I am not a negative person. I am a manically busy one who doesn't like being told they are making excuses, when I do about 4 times more stuff than anyone else I know, that's all.

ishallnotwant

Sometimes there is a reason you can't get as much exercise as you would like, and I don't think it helps anyone who is frustrated about that fact to criticise them for making excuses.

I wasn't criticizing anyone, I was trying to post something encouraging. I have times when I can't find time for exercise as well. I guess negative people are going to find something negative in anything that is posted though.

I am not a negative person. I am a manically busy one who doesn't like being told they are making excuses, when I do about 4 times more stuff than anyone else I know, that's all.

I don't ever recall once telling anyone they are making excuses. What I did say was this:

"It seems like a lot of moms post on here (and other fitness forums i've been on as well) feeling discouraged because they are home with kids. I hope that you noticed I said "It's doable" and not, 'it worked for me, so make it work for you'. I know that everyone is different, with different home situations. I just wanted to put this out there, that I had a challenging situation, and was at home raising children, and I was able to make it work by being creative. "

If you feel that someone is attacking you or telling you that you are making excuses, I think you may be taking things a bit personally. Some people in the thread did say things about people making excuses, but I wasn't one of them.
It's really too bad that you have so many commitments. That must be difficult. I, personally, wouldn't do it. My family comes before committees and councils, career and hobbies. I make my home life a priority, but I know that a lot of people are more focused on their careers and other things. I've done the career thing and the things I thought I wanted to do for me, and I didn't feel fulfilled that way-it made me realize that for me, my family comes absolutely before everything else, and I have found that in order to care for my family properly, I have to be healthy myself. Too many people are focused on worldly successes and are stressed out and over extended nowadays, and it hurts their physical and emotional health as well as their family. I made that mistake and hope I never do again. I'll never be able to recapture the time I lost with my children while I was busy trying to climb the corporate ladder, so to speak. I'm content to barely make ends meet, as long as I have time to spend with my loved ones. You are trading one thing (exercise) for others that bring you pleasure, and you are happy. I traded the things that didn't give me pleasure (meetings and not being at home) for health and the ability to spend time with my family, which is what gives me pleasure. Who is right? Who is wrong? Neither of us. We both have our priorities and are ok with our choices, right? In the end though, nobody gets a reward in life for being the busiest. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate that could affect your health.

You posted "I'd rather be a good mother than a thin one." I just wanted to state that the whole point of this thread was to say that we can spend time WITH our children being healthy, not to neglect them so we can be thin. I never even mentioned being thin. I said it's important to be healthy. Either you are twisting my words or you misunderstood the message I was trying to convey.

1Timothy4v8

I dont think you are being very fare, just because a woman is buisy working doesnt mean they value their job over their family woman can only be a stay at home mom if they

have a hubby that pays all the bills

get help from the state

get child support

live with their parents

Some woman have to work so they can feed their children, and my hat's are off to those woman so it really is not far to say that, in fact according to the bible it is better for a woman too work then to just recive from wellfare, (not saying its bad to get welfare but its better to earn your own money if you can) but its not right to diss woman who need to keep their familys a float

redheadmommy

I agree-but I think age 5 is too late to wait. That lets bad habits form and they are much too hard to break. A child needs to be taught from a young age that they can't throw fits. Jenna (my 4th child) went through a stage when she was very tiny (under 2) where she would throw a bloody fit if I put her down and I broke her of it really fast. I don't tolerate that kind of behavior in my children, it needs to be corrected as early as possible-so that the child grows up knowing not to do it in the first place, rather than the parent having to correct that learned behavior in the child after they already get used to it. Children understand a lot more than people think, even as very young toddlers, and even if they can't communicate things very well themselves. If I had a 1 year old or a 3 year old that was "very clingy and won't let me [blank]" i'd be correcting it as soon as possible. I wouldn't condone it.

It is totally different story to say no to correct a bad behaviour or saying no to a small child that only fault is to want to be with his mother. I say NO a zillion time, when my son throws a fit or he wants to watch TV, which is only allowed once a week in our house. Or I say no when he ask for ice-ream for breakfast and a list goes on. However, I personally do not want to say no to him when he ask nicely to play with him and there is no dad or somebody else to play with. I rather get up at 5 am or exercise after 8 pm, then miss hrs and hrs valuable time of my child life on daily basis.
If somebody a SHAM and have the opportunity to spend their entire day with their children, that is a different story. However working mother who only have a few hr per day to be with their small children taking 1-1.5 hr away is a big deal.

You have started your topic stating how you dislike moms that dare to complain about the lack of time on this site . It is really hard not to take it personally when you start out like this, even if you have not named anyone personally.

fteale

I am pretty shocked anyone would crack down on the behaviour of a 1 year old. At that age they are still babies, and they need their Mummies. My younger son never let me put him down until he was 18 months. He's a little limpet, but annoying as it can be, it's endearing to be loved like that. It lasts such a short time, why try to make them grow up faster than they already will? A 1 year old can't reason. All they will learn is rejection if you keep pushing them away.

fteale

Sometimes there is a reason you can't get as much exercise as you would like, and I don't think it helps anyone who is frustrated about that fact to criticise them for making excuses.

I wasn't criticizing anyone, I was trying to post something encouraging. I have times when I can't find time for exercise as well. I guess negative people are going to find something negative in anything that is posted though.

I am not a negative person. I am a manically busy one who doesn't like being told they are making excuses, when I do about 4 times more stuff than anyone else I know, that's all.

I don't ever recall once telling anyone they are making excuses. What I did say was this:

"It seems like a lot of moms post on here (and other fitness forums i've been on as well) feeling discouraged because they are home with kids. I hope that you noticed I said "It's doable" and not, 'it worked for me, so make it work for you'. I know that everyone is different, with different home situations. I just wanted to put this out there, that I had a challenging situation, and was at home raising children, and I was able to make it work by being creative. "

If you feel that someone is attacking you or telling you that you are making excuses, I think you may be taking things a bit personally. Some people in the thread did say things about people making excuses, but I wasn't one of them.
It's really too bad that you have so many commitments. That must be difficult. I, personally, wouldn't do it. My family comes before committees and councils, career and hobbies. I make my home life a priority, but I know that a lot of people are more focused on their careers and other things. I've done the career thing and the things I thought I wanted to do for me, and I didn't feel fulfilled that way-it made me realize that for me, my family comes absolutely before everything else, and I have found that in order to care for my family properly, I have to be healthy myself. Too many people are focused on worldly successes and are stressed out and over extended nowadays, and it hurts their physical and emotional health as well as their family. I made that mistake and hope I never do again. I'll never be able to recapture the time I lost with my children while I was busy trying to climb the corporate ladder, so to speak. I'm content to barely make ends meet, as long as I have time to spend with my loved ones. You are trading one thing (exercise) for others that bring you pleasure, and you are happy. I traded the things that didn't give me pleasure (meetings and not being at home) for health and the ability to spend time with my family, which is what gives me pleasure. Who is right? Who is wrong? Neither of us. We both have our priorities and are ok with our choices, right? In the end though, nobody gets a reward in life for being the busiest. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate that could affect your health.

You posted "I'd rather be a good mother than a thin one." I just wanted to state that the whole point of this thread was to say that we can spend time WITH our children being healthy, not to neglect them so we can be thin. I never even mentioned being thin. I said it's important to be healthy. Either you are twisting my words or you misunderstood the message I was trying to convey.

I spent 6 years at home with the children, so don't lecture me on not giving them enough time, I have only just gone back to university this term after 6 years out of work. It is time I want to spend with them that means I am not down in the gym. Because I want to be there for my children.

As I said, it is a reason, not an excuse. Sometimes exercise is too far down the list of priorities to be feasible, and I do feel your original post was trying to claim that that is an excuse.

ishallnotwant

ETA: Please excuse me. I don't like where this thread is going or the way my words are being taken. I'm going to leave it alone now, as I don't want to just sit here and argue back and forth. That's not how I intended my post to be. Once again, i'm sorry if anyone felt that it was snotty or personally directed at them. Have a nice evening, ladies.

PughTooFew

Okay, kids are NOT an excuse for being overweight BUT they can pose a very large puzzle to figure out when trying to balance exercise and family time . When I first started trying to lose my 'baby fat' I had a 3 month old, a 15 month old and worked full-time to make ends meet (and not as a career). I could not (and still cant) afford to give up work.
One of the many problems with having young kids is a lack of routine - mornings were hectic and out of the question so I would plan to do workouts at night but you can never tell when one or both kids would fall ill or just want mummy, or refuse to sleep. I had no energy :yawn: and all I wanted was to rest up when they slept but I still had the usual chores to do first and it would regularly be 10pm before I got any time to myself - or with my husband! Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a couch potato, I did as much as I could muster - walks and chasing them in the park, trips to the beach swimming, dancing in the evening with them, playing in the garden - but the fact is that it just wasn't enough structured exercise to lose weight, even with reduced calories (and you try telling two toddlers we're going for a walk in gail force wind and rain cos mummy needs to shed a few pounds! The weather here sucks for atleast half the year).
Only now nearly 3 years later with the kids into a better routine, and with a part-time job of 27 hours/week, can I finally start trying to fit in the amount of exercise and meal planning that I need to succeed in losing weight.....I hope! I'm sure it'll get easier to exercise with the kids as they grow because they can keep up with brisker walks, longer bike rides, play outdoor games, swimming, etc. They are both FULL of energy!
So please don't be hard on us parents (mums and dads alike) who dont have access to a gym with a creche/daycare, who cant get up at 6am and do yoga whilst simultaneously washing/dressing/feeding/organising the family, who dont have the time and/or money to join exercise classes or buy workout dvds or home equipment, who feel guilty about having to work all day and then try and make it up to the kids by spending true quality time in the evening/weekend.....we are not making excuses out of our kids, we are just doing our 'creative' best too!! :flowerforyou:

melrose09

I have one child who is about to be 4 years old. I'm a single mom and a full time student so it does get difficult for me to work out. With good motivation and support I lost about 40 lbs. it is possible but can be very difficult for some people. Just stay motivated and know it takes time before results began to show.

Awesome There is always a way if you really make it a priority!

Ceebee37

I do agree with you here, to a degree. I work 30 hours a week and have two preschoolers and I work out 3-5 times a week. I just set the alarm 30 min early and jump on the bike, or do pilates, walk the dog etc. It would be hard for those mums who might not have a partner to supervise kids though, that I would understand, especially if you work too. So I can see both sides