I lost a lot of motivation and confidence..

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  • Shawndad
    Shawndad Posts: 18
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    I would not say anything. the person who said it really isn't a friend if they can say something like that to you. never lose motivation and confidence in yourself. find something that motivates you. ask yourself what your reason for working out and wanting to be healthy is. if you want it bad, you will do what it takes to get it and keep it. and when you work out and push yourself out of your comfort zone you begin to build confidence in yourself.
  • Ladyloraella
    Ladyloraella Posts: 46 Member
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    i'm sorry she didn't tell you everything you wanted to hear.

    There is saying, "You don't suit that top" or even "it makes you look fat" (which is how my friends and I tell it to each other) and calling someone a fat *kitten*/wants to be a stripper. It's insulting and not constructive.
  • babyfatbegone
    babyfatbegone Posts: 42 Member
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    No cool. It could have been said in a better way, but it shouldn't have been said at all. I get rid of friends that turn everything into a negative. You've already lost 15 lbs and are doing great. Don't let some *kitten* mess with your success.
  • firesoforion
    firesoforion Posts: 1,017 Member
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    So, I thought I looked good, so I wore a skirt I haven't been able to wear for years, and a really cute top (a little low cut) but I thought it looked cute. So, I took a picture and put it on FB.. and one of the people I thought was a friend said (and I quote) "I hate to say it sweety, but you are too fat to be wearing things like that. It just makes you look like a fat *kitten* that wants to be a stripper." What am I supposed to say to that?

    You say: "I hate to say it sweetie, but you are too judgmental and not supportive enough to be a true friend. It just makes you sound like a jealous b**** that wants to take her frustration out on other people."
  • aekaya
    aekaya Posts: 163 Member
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    she sounds really rude and more importantly, jealous! confident, secure people don't put their friends (or anyone for that matter) down like that. let that be your little boost of confidence and don't let her get you down!
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
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    Some people will say anything. How you FEEL is more important than what someone else thinks or says to you. This is a really hard thing to internalize, but it's true. I'm in my 40s and still trying to really believe this, but it's true. The critics are not living your life. Don't let them steal your happiness and your good feelings!

    Congratulations on your weight loss so far, and enjoy the good feelings you earned.
  • Jljones2787
    Jljones2787 Posts: 82
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    HOW RUDE. I am sorry that you've gone through that. Unfriend that ***** and don't worry about her because she's obviously no "friend" worth having.

    Congratulations on your weight loss and rock whatever clothes you feel great in!
  • si_puedo
    si_puedo Posts: 138 Member
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    i would say something along the lines of NOTHING at all. be the better person...just delet there butt....
  • dana815
    dana815 Posts: 9
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    maybe they should have personal msg u...that was rude. sometimes when we know how far weve come we wanna show off bc we feel good, others dont always understand n base looks on skinny models verses what WE think looks goid...sometimes theyre jealous n feel bursting our bubbles will mk them feel better. dont sweat it. keep up the good work n let ur haters motivate u
  • bmw4deb
    bmw4deb Posts: 1,325 Member
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    I would say lmao watch for future updates !! future stripper in your mist!
  • imakitty76
    imakitty76 Posts: 2
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    Regardless of what your so called "friend" honestly thought of how you looked in your pic, a true friend, or any mature person for that matter, friend or not, would understand the real reasons for the posting of that pic and instead of trying to cut you down build you up. I'm the parent of a 13 year old girl and have learned through a lot of mistakes that the truth is not always the best path, and frankly truth can be a subjective, relative thing...we need to learn to sort out what is more important, voicing our "opinions" or "truths" or building up a persons confidence to succeed; when it comes to female relationships jealously, envy, and fear play a large role in them...and for some reason some females need to undermine others in order to build themselves up and if they see someone succeeding at an endeavor it makes them feel inferior, afraid etc...Too many times I have told my daughter the "truth" and had it backfire, seeing hurt as a result in her eyes, so when she asks how she looks, or if she looks like she has gained weight, or if she has broken out, I've learned that my truth isn't always "THE TRUTH" and it isn't always what she is truly seeking...it is a validation of her worth, of her beauty, maybe she knows that she has broke out but needs to know that I can see beyond that...see her. Anyway...enough of that sorry...I guess what I'm saying is sometimes peoples truths, etc...really have more to do with their own insecurities, and do I really need to tell you the obvious, she is no friend, and she obviously wanted to undermine your confidence and motivation...keep up the good work, wear what you want to wear, be proud of your achievments, live life fully...here is a quote to keep in mind..."Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly" Robert F. Kennedy
    This is a new year...get rid of toxic people who seek to hold you back...
  • Troll
    Troll Posts: 922 Member
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    So, I thought I looked good, so I wore a skirt I haven't been able to wear for years, and a really cute top (a little low cut) but I thought it looked cute. So, I took a picture and put it on FB.. and one of the people I thought was a friend said (and I quote) "I hate to say it sweety, but you are too fat to be wearing things like that. It just makes you look like a fat *kitten* that wants to be a stripper." What am I supposed to say to that?
    kick this friend in the neck. Then unfriend them. If i look bad but think i look good, id like people to lie to me. The tactful way to say that is,"that outfit is not flattering on you. Maybe a higher neckline or a longer skirt would be more appropriate." i had someone ask me how i could wear one outfit without feeling half dressed. I said,"easy. I just feel half naked instead." seriously though, ill lend you a shovel.
  • Pengygirl24
    Pengygirl24 Posts: 34
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    Thank you to everyone. Most of your comments made me feel better. I deleted her comment and her as a friend. I also deleted the picture, I wasn't even looking for any compliments or anything. I was in a black skirt (just above my knees) and a cute top (it showed cleavage) but I don't think I looked like a *kitten*. Thank you to everyone who complimented me. I shouldn't have to censor myself just because I'm a bigger girl. And everyone else said I looked amazing, even people I didn't know.
  • flutterbaybee
    flutterbaybee Posts: 3
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    Perhaps that "friend" sees what progress you have made and is jealous of that fact that she doesn't have your drive and discipline to achieve such awesome goals.
    Don't let people bring you down because they are unhappy with where their life is.
    Be PROUD of what you have accomplished!
    Seems like you have plenty of supportive people on here to replace that "friend".

    Keep up the good work! :bigsmile:
    You can add me for support if you want!
  • Pengygirl24
    Pengygirl24 Posts: 34
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    I am proud, my best friend said the same thing. I asked for her honest opinion and she told me maybe I had too much cleavage out, but I have a lot of chest.. It wasn't any worse than all these other girls who wear barely anything and at least I was classy about it. I have lost 74lbs total and 10 dress sizes. And I seriously thank everyone who posted a motivational comment on here for me. You all are amazing people, and have come a long way. Keep it up!

    And the picture I'm talking about is my profile picture right now.
  • Pengygirl24
    Pengygirl24 Posts: 34
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    i'm sorry she didn't tell you everything you wanted to hear.

    I thought we were supposed to support each other? This is not support.
  • sarahp86
    sarahp86 Posts: 692 Member
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    Jealous much?! Girl there's nothing wrong with your figure! You have curves!

    I'd tell her to *kitten* off and next time I see her I'd either throw a shoe at her head or drop kick her in the vajayjay!

    Unfriend and block the b*tch!!
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
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    You say whatever the hell you want because it's YOUR facebook. Personally, this would be my choice: "I can lose the weight, but you will always be a b!tch." :happy:


    Keep up the good work, honey. I think you look great.
  • Pengygirl24
    Pengygirl24 Posts: 34
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    Thank you both :) I private messaged her and told her how I felt, and then deleted her.
  • AshDHart
    AshDHart Posts: 818 Member
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    I would respond with: I like your outfit, except when I dress up as a jealous b!tch, I try not to look like such an a.s.s. Paraphrasing Legally Blonde. :bigsmile:

    And, I think you look adorable in your avatar!

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