How the hell...

sexforjaffacakes

...did I ever think I was fat?



Me aged 13. Yep. 13. By this point I'd been convinced by bullies/society that I was huge. Like, obese. Massive. Genuinley thought I was. And I'd go on starvation diets from the age of 10 onwards, and binge eating, and all the bad things because I didn't know how to lose weight, and people don't want to tell underage girls how to lose weight for fear of developing a complex. Thing is though, I ruined my metabolism starving myself and started eating like a fat girl cuz I thought I was a fat girl. Which resulted in me being 210lb at age 17.
I don't think I ever realised how much the bullying affected me physically until now, but I guess having 20 kids tell you you're fat from age 5 onwards makes you believe it.
Even now, I look at girls the same size or even bigger than me and think of them as slim, I look at myself in the mirror and see so.much.fat.

I know it's in my head and I'm working on it, but really, looking at that pic...can't believe how heavy I thought I was.

sexforjaffacakes

haha, forever alone

Nike13

I thought I was huge in high school and turns out I was fine. I wish my bad body image came from the bullies - mine came from my grandmother who would pat my belly and breasts and tut at me. I just ended up starving myself when she had to move in with us and dropped to dangerously low weight in college.

When I realized what I was doing I over-corrected and now have to find a happy medium again.

KayteeBear

And that's why high school sucks...

lol I was kind of there. I was a bit chubby, but not actually fat but was always called fat by bullies. I weighed myself constantly and was horrified once I hit 100 pounds even though that was healthy for my age and I ended up going through slightly anorexic fazes where I wouldn't eat anything all day but an apple.


However, something good did come out of it...I started working out and LOVED it so I got older and stopped listening to bullies but I continued to workout and get stronger and healthier.

sexforjaffacakes

I thought I was huge in high school and turns out I was fine. I wish my bad body image came from the bullies - mine came from my grandmother who would pat my belly and breasts and tut at me. I just ended up starving myself when she had to move in with us and dropped to dangerously low weight in college.

When I realized what I was doing I over-corrected and now have to find a happy medium again.

That's terrible! I think my parents deffo had an influence too, but more because they were in denial? I was a little chubby but they'd just constantly tell me I wasn't fat - even when I was like 15 stone if they'd helped me lose a few pounds the healthy way, perhaps I'd never have gotten in such a mess.

inammorata

Kids can be so cruel.

Also it doesn't help seeing airbrushed models with their ribs sticking out, and we are told that that's what "beautiful" is, pfft.

sexforjaffacakes

And that's why high school sucks...

I wish it was highschool, this was in primary school - ages 5-12 It's really hard to get the ideas they put in your mind out of there when it's been enforced from such a young age

noiva

I was just always built differently than other girls in my grade. I grew tall very fast, developed boobs and hips, wayyyy before anyone else. I was a size 6-8 and thought I was huge. All of the other girls in my grade were 00-2, so of course I was huge in my mind! Silly kids.

I so wish I could have seen it for what it was...I had the body then that they want now! Only I let myself go, and now I have to work twice as hard to get there. I see pictures of myself from elementary and middle school and wish I could have woken up back then and realized how *perfectly fine* I was.

charcharbec

That happened with me too. I told a girl once that I was a certain size jeans...and she was like "yeah right." stupid.

thatsnumberwang

It can be really hard for girls who develop early. They look like women, and everyone around them looks like a fashion model. It's extra hard because that's the age when girls are at their cruelest and enjoy bullying the most. But well done for looking at yourself positively and taking charge now!

meggy_182

I had hips, boobs and periods all at the young age of 10! i felt like a giant whale, and spent most of school under eating and being dangerously unwell.
Then I too corrected myself, but in the wrong way, and now trying to tone out the ice cream filled tummy of mine

lc504

OP - I can relate. I had my first period at age TEN, flew up to my current height (5'5") and went up to 125 lbs within the course of a couple years. Everyone around me was still tiny, around 100 lbs or less probably and much shorter. I was teased by others who called me fat, and even my uncle made an off-hand comment, "How does it feel being the biggest girl in your class?", and I started thinking of myself as this huge disgusting overweight person... when now I look back on those photos and realize I was not fat at ALL!

stylistchik

I understand. I was stuck in the same mindset. I was never overweight but I was just kind of nerdy and I thought I could be more popular if I was "hot" (yeah, at 13...) and to me that meant skinny since my mom was always "dieting" and talked with me openly about how my younger sister was overweight so I never wanted to be her next target. Then in high school I had a boyfriend who treated me horribly and every time something went wrong between us I would stop eating, thinking if I was "prettier" (skinnier) he'd treat me better... you live you learn I guess...

AZKristi

Kids suck (and so do most parents). I hope to have my weight under control before I have children as I really don't want to pass any of my food craziness onto them. Demonstrating a healthy relationship with food is a difficult thing to do for a child.

meggy_182

^^^!
I used to get that comments like that all the time, and weirdly got bullied for having my period. I look back and think it was pathetic, and i shouldn't have let it bother me. I'm only 5'6 and most of my friends are now taller than me.
Damn you puberty!

servilia

Yeah kids can be really cruel.
I just wonder, you really got up to 210 lbs by starving yourself?

sexforjaffacakes

reading the above replies, it is horrible how many people have though skinny=happy at such a young age!
To be on diets at age 9/10 is just ridiculous. I was curvy with a wee bit of flab on my tummy/arms/legs, but I must have been like 8/9 stone in that pic (same height/figure as I have now)
My goal weight just now? 8 stone. Lmao.

Barelmy

OP - I can relate. I had my first period at age TEN, flew up to my current height (5'5") and went up to 125 lbs within the course of a couple years. Everyone around me was still tiny, around 100 lbs or less probably and much shorter. I was teased by others who called me fat, and even my uncle made an off-hand comment, "How does it feel being the biggest girl in your class?", and I started thinking of myself as this huge disgusting overweight person... when now I look back on those photos and realize I was not fat at ALL!

Same. I felt so HUGE, towering over everybody.

sexforjaffacakes

Yeah kids can be really cruel.
I just wonder, you really got up to 210 lbs by starving yourself?

" Thing is though, I ruined my metabolism starving myself and then started eating like a fat girl cuz I thought I was a fat girl."

derposaurus

yeah i started starving myself at 13 and thought i was ENORMOUS. i see pictures of myself then and i think 'HOW COULD I HATE MYSELF?" i hated myself SO much as a teenager. worse than i ever have now and hopefully ever will. i used to cut myself and litterally beat myself up (punch legs, and head, causing bruises, etc) because i hated myself for being "too fat".

i think it's just a teenage thing. hormones are crazy. you are much more vulnerable and insecure. i thankfully was never ever bullied. my self hatred came from within. i bullied myself. i see pictures now and yeah i would kill to be that size. but with that being said, i definitely was bigger than my peers. i was 13 adn a little ahead on puberty and a little heavier... so compared to other 13 year old i was definitely fatter. but compared to 21 year olds (what I am now), I was HOT lol. there's alot of factors that come into it.

i'm sorry that kids were so mean to you

Barelmy

...my mom was always "dieting" and talked with me openly about how my younger sister was overweight so I never wanted to be her next target.

My mom was exactly like that - but my sister was the thinner one.

thatgirl125

I thought I was huge too. In middle school I was involved in many sports and only weighed 105 lbs. My mom kept telling me that I could lose another 5lbs and it went on for forever. Eventually after continuously trying to lose weight and telling my mom that i will never lose the 5 lbs I gave up. Going into high school I weighed 110, then after my 9th grade year I stopped playing sports and went up to 115 lbs in 10th grade. My mom kept telling me I needed to lose weight. Well then he came 11th grade and I weighed 122lbs and could never lose the weight (I weigh 123 right now). At the end of my senior year I weighed 135lbs. And of course all my mom kept saying was more me to lose weight. When I went off to college in the florida keys I weighed myself on my dads scale (I was living with him down there) I weighed 145 lbs. I could not believe it. My mom kept telling me I needed to lose weight even when I was 105 lbs and I just pretty much said to hell with it.
I can understand how in your position others made you feel that way, and at that age you do not realize the effect they have on you. I from time to time look at old pictures from when I was younger and wonder how in the heck my mom kept telling me I needed to lose weight, because I was SMALL.
Now, just like you, I am now taking control and I am PROUD of YOU for that. And do not ever listen to what others have to say, if you are happy with how you are then that is the best way for you to be!

derposaurus

oh wow I see there's a few stories like mine. basically going through puberty ahead of everyone else.

I got my period at age 10 as well. had already started wearing a bra the year before that. becoming "womanly" at a much faster pace obviously made me heavier. sounds like the same story for everyone else. for a womans body, i was fine. but for a young girls body (which all my peers still were) i was very different. it was awkward. everybody seemed to catch up in high school though.

trolkeeper

i know,I was a size 12 at about 16 y/o and all my friends were size 6, i was also 5ft 6 and they were 5ft tall. i felt so insecure and out of place altho they never seemed to mind, it was and still is all in my head. i am now size 18, what was i thinking wow

Di3012

Hitting puberty in and of itself doesn't result in pudginess.

It can and does result in weight gain for many females. Due to changes in hormones and general shape.

http://teens.webmd.com/girls/facts-about-puberty-girls

servilia

Hitting puberty in and of itself doesn't result in pudginess.

It can and does result in weight gain for many females. Due to changes in hormones and general shape.

http://teens.webmd.com/girls/facts-about-puberty-girls
[/quote]

Yes, weight gain. Not to the point of being overweight, unless there's an eating/activity problem.

sexforjaffacakes

Same. I felt so HUGE, towering over everybody.

Hitting puberty in and of itself doesn't result in pudginess.

It can and does result in weight gain for many females. Due to changes in hormones and general shape.

http://teens.webmd.com/girls/facts-about-puberty-girls

Yes, weight gain. Not to the point of being overweight, unless there's an eating/activity problem.

I was within the healthy weight range for my height then. I just had a little bit of baby fat on my face, arms and tummy.
"You may notice more body fat along the upper arms, thighs, and upper back." (http://teens.webmd.com/girls/facts-about-puberty-girls)

I was not clinically overweight, but was made to feel clinically obese. Which was my point. At no point in this thread have I said I had a "perfect" body, and I didn't realise 13 year olds were meant to have "perfect" bodies. I was healthy.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

Puberty does result in pudginess for some girls. Not all, but definitely some. When I was 14 I put on some weight and then when I was 16 it just fell off as I grew up and into my more adult body. I didn't watch what I ate or do any extra exercise, it was just the way I developed. I was a high school teacher for 4 years and I watched this happen to countless girls. It's heartbreaking to watch them obsess over weight that will mostly likely disappear on its own. Sure there are super skinny girls who get through puberty with no weight gain but they often have their own issues, like worrying about not having enough curves. It's hard for everyone during that time of development.

OP I was 125 in high school and wore a size 4/6 prom dress and I thought I was one of the pudgy girls. Oh to go back and tell myself how good I looked. . .

MaximalLife

She obviously had standards as did we all.

And she was not happy with herself by her own admission.
Some are way too thin skinned.

This is not an echo chamber but an open forum. Nothing was meant to be unkind.
Sorry....:sad:

Horskrzy

My two kids are grown and gone so I can freely dispense advice with 20/20 hindsight!

Set the example by eating right and exercising and require the same of your kids (I failed to do this). If they still express concern about their weight (assuming it's within medical averages) you can honestly sit them down and show them that this is where their body wants to be at in this point of their life. If the concerns were because of teasing and it persists, perhaps then the solution would be for your kid to challenge to the name calling jerk for a two week long competition in the gym, track, pool, etc (obviously your kid would pick the areas they're already familiar with). That should get rid of most of the snide remarks real quick and who knows, after two weeks of exercising together they may even become friends!

Jorra

She obviously had standards as did we all.

And she was not happy with herself by her own admission.
Some are way too thin skinned.

This is not an echo chamber but an open forum. Nothing was meant to be unkind.
Sorry....:sad:

Even if you meant no ill-intent, can you not see what a ****bag move it is to say someone is fat on a post where they are talking about how damaging it was when others called her fat?

Comments like yours led her to believe that she was fatter than she really was, leading to poor self-esteem and risky dieting behavior.