Saying 'I love you' for the first time

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  • kerriBB37
    kerriBB37 Posts: 967 Member
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    said it three days after we met and we have been together for 11yrs now! =)

    My fiance texted me three days after we met: "I Lo......." he then said he felt it but was too scared to say it because he didn't want to scare me. I just said "I Lo you too" and that's been our inside joke for almost 3 years now! ;) getting married in November and can't wait! WHEN YA KNOW, YA KNOW! :)
  • Munque
    Munque Posts: 123
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    My now husband is the only one I've really said it too, besides close friends and my family. The only intimate relationship I've said it in. I was always afraid to say it, and afraid to hear it, I usually broke up with a guy shortly after him confessing his feelings. So when me and my husband were dating for only about 2 or 3 months, we were in the kitchen doing dishes and he started saying it and I stopped him and told him not to until he was sure that I would say it back. And then about 6 months in, I asked him to try again and I said it back. It seems so early to me to have said it, heck I was with one guy for 5 years and never said it. But everything just felt so right and comfortable with my husband, still does, so I guess 6 months is plenty of time when the right guy is staring you in the face.
  • RedHotChiliSteppers
    RedHotChiliSteppers Posts: 75 Member
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    I've only said it to two people in my life. They were girls I was always attracted to but became in the friend zone (a year or two apart). But then we became best friends (both of them) and slowly started dating. One instance happened on the phone and repeating it felt natural. We dated and were practically a couple for a month or so but I think she became to insecure and scared of starting a relationship and that kind of was destroyed.

    Then the other girl ended up busting it out while she was drunk, which meant a little but not as big. But things never ended up the way it was supposed to. Small story, they became jealous of each other and it left me with noone! (crazy, i would never think something like that would happen to me!). Both girls didn't want to lose me but weren't ready for relationships. Kind of pains me because I was probably best friends with them at different points of my life, and now I don't ever speak to them ever.
  • Rubyinthesand2012
    Rubyinthesand2012 Posts: 92
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    My partner and i had been together for a few months when he first said "i love you" it was Bonfire night 2006....ill never ever forget it and whenever i hear/see fireworks i hear him say it all over again and get the same butterflies in my stomach.
    Id fallen in love with him within moments of meeting him! :love: A truely head over heels madly in love that has never ever faultered. :smooched:

    i thought id been in love before (id been married had kids etc) but nothing compares to the love i feel for him :blushing:

    Obviously i love my children but thats a different type of love :heart:
  • gatorgirl7
    gatorgirl7 Posts: 103 Member
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    My most recent ex said it about 2-3 months in...and even though I was ready to say it I was TERRIFIED. We were watching a movie, and I was half sleeping on his chest, and he whispered it in my ear...and I panicked and pretended to be asleep! Real smooth, I know. He said it again a few weeks later and he mumbled it, so I was like "What?" even though I knew what he said, so he mumbled it again, so I was like "What?" and he's like "I'm hungry!" So...yeah. He finally said it again and it was fine (OK, I was still freaking out...but in a good way...but terrifying way too...LoL.) The "L" word is terrifying to me.
  • n_unocero
    n_unocero Posts: 445 Member
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    so funny story...the first time i ever said it to my current bf of 2+ years i was absolutely HAMMERED. we had gone to a friends house, he did something to make me mad, and the next thing i knew i had finished one of those plastice traveler flask-looking bottles of vodka :ohwell: . needless to say i didn't remember much from that night. there's only 2 things i remember. 1) smashing my head on the corner of my dresser (still have the scar). and 2) telling him that i loved him.

    luckily it worked out pretty well for us anyway. :smile: the next night we were talking about it and i apologized. he asked me if i meant it and i replied "it was one of the only things i remembered from last night". after that he said "i might be crazy, but i love you too" :love:
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
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    We met online, and it was long distance, about 100 miles. After a couple of months of talking, I asked if he wanted to come with me to a club to watch my friend's band perform. It was in his part of town. It was a fantastic first date and I found myself really smitten with him.

    That was in September. Around January, we were IM'ing when he hinted that he might want to drop the "L" word. After a bit of panic, I told him that I didn't think I was ready for that yet. (I had gotten out of a nasty, emotionally abusive relationship that July.)

    By the time February was rolling around, I suddenly found myself with a lot more money than what I had before. He knew it was a dream of mine to move to the city to actually get a tech job and build a better life for myself, so he suggested I stay with him until I could get on my feet. I quit my wretched job and planned to move in around the 17th.

    In the mean time, I decided to give him an incredibly special V-Day present. I took a piece of paper and wrote "I love you" on it and put it in a little box with a bow and then had a large time taunting and confusing him when he tried to guess what I had gotten him. :laugh: When he opened the box, I told him the other part of the gift was that he got to choose who went first. He decided he would, and for the next week, he said it about about a dozen times a day. :heart: It was so cute.

    And the conclusion is that I did move in, ended up staying there 11 months, and then got my own place. Of course, he ended up being over at my place more than he did his own, and at the end of December, just shy of an entire year of having separate residences, he let his lease go and moved in with me. I'm going to keep him. :smooched:
  • Mama_CAEI
    Mama_CAEI Posts: 235
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    those feelings you feel the first few months that you think oohhhhh i love you is just butterflies and rainbows lust.

    I beg to differ. I had those feelings when I met someone nearly 11 years ago. It didn't take us long to say "I love you" to each other and within 3 months of meeting, we were planning our wedding. (And no, I wasn't pregnant.) This May, we will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary, we have 4 beautiful children, and he still gives me butterflies!!

    To answer the OP's question, though, I don't remember who said it first...I think he did. But it was very early on. When you know, you just know. Looking back on my other relationships, they were obviously not the "real thing."
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,901 Member
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    :flowerforyou:
  • Solly123
    Solly123 Posts: 162 Member
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    When my son was a child, when I was putting him to bed I'd say just as I was leaving the room and turning out the light - "Guess What!".. "What?" he'd say. "I Love You" I'd say..

    As he grew up all I'd have to say is "Guess What" and he'd say "I know".. Even to this day (and he is now 21) I can still say it.

    Not sure I ever said it to anyone bar his father. He said it back a lot. I realised later, he "loved me" most when he thought I was about to find out who he was sleeping with the night before!! :mad:

    Have never fallen in love like I did with him & he used those words to hide his badness.. So any boyfriend I've had since, I've never said it.. :frown:

    Still single, still waiting for the white knight!! (Or at least someone who puts honesty, integrity and morals ahead of having a good time!!) :smile:
  • Dtho5159
    Dtho5159 Posts: 1,054 Member
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    I have never said it first. The first time was with my ex boyfriend and I don't remember the details because I try to forget all that. The second time was with my husband. We got together 9 years ago when I was 18 and he was 23. He had never been with anyone, never dated anyone, surely never told anyone I love you but still said it first haha.
  • asudheimer
    asudheimer Posts: 82 Member
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    We went to school together since 1st grade, went on our first date the end of Jr year, became a couple the end of our Sr year and he said it first in email, I said it first in person, as soon as we became "official", married on our 5 yr aniv and will be celebrating 10 happy years with him this June! We have two beautiful babies together, and our love just keeps getting stronger! <3
  • david581c
    david581c Posts: 337
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    "Like, i totally like you...but im not...in 'like' with you"
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    I will second the love and lust comment. In today's world they are one and the same.

    One litmus test I use is... if she's telling me how in love she is with me now, if I was fat or had a disfiguring accident... would she still love me?

    If the answer is no, then it's not really love, but lust.
  • karleen
    karleen Posts: 260
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    my sons father and i didnt really fall in love until our son was well over a year old.. we stopped talking at one point for over 6 months after a raelly big fight. after we reconnected we kinda realized we cant live without each other.. he said it first, and not to be stereotypical or anything but it was right after we had done the deed lol
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
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    Me: "Call me later"
    My Wife: "Love you too...wait, what?"

    We still laugh about that one
  • My1985Freckles
    My1985Freckles Posts: 1,039 Member
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    To me, love takes on many forms. A few replies have spoken to just throwing the term around, and I see that a lot, too. But because love has many forms to me, I say it to a lot of people. I have friends on here I've said it to, and genuinely mean it - however, I'm not IN love with them. I can love someone, and care very deeply for them, and not be IN love with them.

    Agree!

    First bf, day 17 after our first kiss. It kinda just came out. I did NOT mean it, he stood there grinning like a fool and didn't say it back. Glad that horrible experience is over.

    My hubby.... I don't remember. We met online and chatted a few days before we had our first date. I knew by our second date that he was the man I was going to marry. I am pretty sure we told each other "I love you" on our second date. I remember reading a text from him on a camping trip with a few friends (maybe a week after we started dating so he wasn't invited along) and he had said he loves me and my friends kinda freaked with the whole "It's too soon to be saying stuff like that." Well, we are very happily married now so what do they know?
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused
    Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused Posts: 935 Member
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    Yeah, there was one time I said it and should have kept it to myself!
  • untilthesun
    untilthesun Posts: 30 Member
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    i dont believe that you should only say i love you once, I think you should say it if you feel it, ive said it 2 times in my life to partners, but i tell my close friends i love them as often as i can, because i do, its a different type of love, but my life just wouldn't be the same without them.

    once in my first serious relationship, i really did love him, but he didnt love me enough back, it took me a long time to realise that.


    Then every day with my current man, Weve been together over 4 years, have known each other for 9, he was a best friend of mine and we eventually got together at uni. It was early into our relationship when he said it, on one of our first kind of dates. we were at a gig for a band we loved. 80s matchbox b-line disaster, we had an amazing night, and i climbed up on stage (with help of a roadie) and got a set list, a drum stick and guys towel, plus a poster, which were rare at there gigs. we were on the train home, and he just looked at me, and said it. we had been together about a month, he said he always had loved me. We have told each other "I love you" every day since. I have no regrets. I love him,
  • Bonniebigbutt
    Bonniebigbutt Posts: 15
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    The first time my boyfriend-now husband told me he loved me we were fooling around in my apartment and he said,"I think I'm falling in love with you." We had been dating for almost 3 months and had only been sleeping together a couple of weeks. To be truthful I was shocked. He was so tall and handsome, I kept waiting for him to loose interest in me, I had decided to just have fun with him and not take anything too seriously so that I wouldn't get hurt. I told him that I was trying to just have fun and I wasn't ready to say anything that serious, yet. He asked me if I was serious about being his girl and I said as long as we are having fun, yes. A few weeks later I told him I loved him and he said it right back, it was very natural. That was 12 years ago. I guess he didn't loose interest in this funny girl with a big butt.

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