Dealing with Racism
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My 10 year old daughter (who is half Mexican) comes home today from school upset because of a boy in her class. A classmate of hers told her that all Mexicans are lazy drug dealers who just lay around on the couch all day. He also made fun of catholics. He made comments a couple of months ago and I talked to the teacher, who in turn had a talk with the boy. Guess we're going to see that this gets officially dealt with. My husband is going to go off the deep end. I have always talked to my girls and told them that there will always be someone who has problems with other races and that it just shows their ignorance, but man I'm fired up tonight!
I think the best way to deal with this, is to educate your daughter, there will always be people who are going to offend, as long as you do your part on teaching her what you can from this situation, you're giving her a giant leap ahead of the child who probably knows no better. Your daughter will grow to be secure in who she is and proud of her heritage. I would take this as a leaning opportunity, your daughter will come out the winner.0 -
bump0
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We live about 45 minutes from Batesville. Our town is smaller though! Coon Hunter's Lodge...that's funny!I just realized I was in your local area (Batesville, IN) about 3 1/2 years ago. Being that I am from central NJ, I experienced great culture shock in your area. (x 100). I had never been around that much of a white-bread homogeneous type of town in the midwest. I can imagine what you are up against in that area in terms of "culture". People looked at my then-boyfriend (who is African/Native American) as if "What ARE you?". We made sure to take home a post card of the actual "Coon Hunter's Lodge". (Nobody from NJ would believe that a lodge was named that.)0 -
I have 5 kids - all boys.
My standing directive for bullies is ATTACK!
Look them in the eye, smile, then SUCKER PUNCH!
With girls, it's different.
I know if the school can't handle it, I'd take it up with the punk's father with either mutual respect or capitulation on his part.
The kid is just parroting what his idiot parents say behind closed doors.
teaching your kids to ATTACK? thats just wrong no matter what provokes your anger
Plus, love the sexism here. "It's okay for little boys ti beat the crap outa each other but girls should just cry and take it until a big strong man (daddy) can come and fix it"
First, teaching kids self defence against physical attacks is good, but teaching them to get involved with fights is gonna get THEM into trouble, plus it's a crap life lesson. And second, if you did have girls, you should raise and treat them the same as your boys, not treat them differently based on their gender (apart from obvious, necessary stuff).0 -
I love when white people try to use Obama being biracial as proof that things are 'better'.
Not even going to go there.
ughhhh here we go.. ^ The reason I NEVER give my opinion on any race issue.
Sorry but wasn't this about a women's child getting bullied? Yup. Not about people bickering over their race problems... (that really just continue racism & don't help at all... but whatever!)
I hope these jerks leave your daughter alone and their family/teacher teach them people are people and race isn't important!
I think it's just as awful that an adult would call a child a jerk...how is that any better then this child being a bully?0 -
I love when white people try to use Obama being biracial as proof that things are 'better'.
Not even going to go there.
ughhhh here we go.. ^ The reason I NEVER give my opinion on any race issue.
Sorry but wasn't this about a women's child getting bullied? Yup. Not about people bickering over their race problems... (that really just continue racism & don't help at all... but whatever!)
I hope these jerks leave your daughter alone and their family/teacher teach them people are people and race isn't important!
I think it's just as awful that an adult would call a child a jerk...how is that any better then this child being a bully?
Because a ten year old boy is old enough to know right from wrong, and is old enough to take responsibility for being a bully.
And I think we can agree, bullies are "jerks".0 -
I love when white people try to use Obama being biracial as proof that things are 'better'.
Not even going to go there.
ughhhh here we go.. ^ The reason I NEVER give my opinion on any race issue.
Sorry but wasn't this about a women's child getting bullied? Yup. Not about people bickering over their race problems... (that really just continue racism & don't help at all... but whatever!)
I hope these jerks leave your daughter alone and their family/teacher teach them people are people and race isn't important!
I think it's just as awful that an adult would call a child a jerk...how is that any better then this child being a bully?
Because a ten year old boy is old enough to know right from wrong, and is old enough to take responsibility for being a bully.
And I think we can agree, bullies are "jerks".
No I don't agree with you, a ten yr old is a child. I don't refer to anyone as a jerk, i'm in no position to judge anyone...speak for yourself.0 -
I love when white people try to use Obama being biracial as proof that things are 'better'.
Not even going to go there.
ughhhh here we go.. ^ The reason I NEVER give my opinion on any race issue.
Sorry but wasn't this about a women's child getting bullied? Yup. Not about people bickering over their race problems... (that really just continue racism & don't help at all... but whatever!)
I hope these jerks leave your daughter alone and their family/teacher teach them people are people and race isn't important!
I think it's just as awful that an adult would call a child a jerk...how is that any better then this child being a bully?
Because a ten year old boy is old enough to know right from wrong, and is old enough to take responsibility for being a bully.
And I think we can agree, bullies are "jerks".
No I don't agree with you, a ten yr old is a child. I don't refer to anyone as a jerk, i'm in no position to judge anyone...speak for yourself.
8 years old is the age that the law deems you old enough to take responsibility for your actions (:
and racism/bullying is a crime in the adult world, so why is it ok for kids?0 -
I love when white people try to use Obama being biracial as proof that things are 'better'.
Not even going to go there.
ughhhh here we go.. ^ The reason I NEVER give my opinion on any race issue.
Sorry but wasn't this about a women's child getting bullied? Yup. Not about people bickering over their race problems... (that really just continue racism & don't help at all... but whatever!)
I hope these jerks leave your daughter alone and their family/teacher teach them people are people and race isn't important!
I think it's just as awful that an adult would call a child a jerk...how is that any better then this child being a bully?
Yeah I don't feel bad for that. They are jerks, and most likely will remain jerks into adulthood. Also how can a sensible adult compare me calling a kid a jerk on a diet website forum to a child telling another child that people from their race are lazy drug dealers? Since you wanna be all adult about it... People on here nitpik the **** out of posts.0 -
I love when white people try to use Obama being biracial as proof that things are 'better'.
Not even going to go there.
ughhhh here we go.. ^ The reason I NEVER give my opinion on any race issue.
Sorry but wasn't this about a women's child getting bullied? Yup. Not about people bickering over their race problems... (that really just continue racism & don't help at all... but whatever!)
I hope these jerks leave your daughter alone and their family/teacher teach them people are people and race isn't important!
I think it's just as awful that an adult would call a child a jerk...how is that any better then this child being a bully?
Because a ten year old boy is old enough to know right from wrong, and is old enough to take responsibility for being a bully.
And I think we can agree, bullies are "jerks".
^Yup pretty much! I'm not going to candy coat it. I feel way worse for the kid getting bullied then the bully being called a jerk on a internet forum.0 -
the offending boy may be seeking attention
sometimes kids get attention by doing things that get them in trouble, becoming the center of attention
this is the second time (that you are aware of) that he has bothered your daughter, the teacher spoke to him before
he's old enough to know what he is doing is wrong and offensive
there must be a reason he is acting out
obviously he has been brought up exposed to this kind of behavior, in a way it is sad that an impressioanble 10 yo boy says these kind of things- he is misinformed maybe his homelife is not so good
with the right guidance he could get straightened out and be a nicer young man
luckily your family supports each other0 -
To OP: Its too bad some people are just ignorant and pass that down to their children.0
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The obama comment... Seriously? That's totally NOT what she said.
To OP: I hate that this happened to your child. It happened to me all the time in grade school. Children are MEAN, straight up. Unfortunately, most of them learn this kind of thing from home, and it only gets worse because it never gets corrected. If I could tell your daughter one thing it's this: NEVER allow those kinds of people to control what she thinks of herself. NEVER give those words power. People who spout those kind of words have no place in your life, and the truly best way to fight back...is with kindness. I pity the children who learn such hatred, because they might never learn otherwise in their whole lives.
Another thing I'd like to tell her is: You really do have to be the change you want to see in the world. Every race will have a prejudice against them--but the real difference between race is merely the amount of melanin in our skin. Culture, lifestyle...all those things are things a person can grow with and absorb. But the person INSIDE is what should ultimately define a person. NOT what they look like.0 -
I love when white people try to use Obama being biracial as proof that things are 'better'.
Not even going to go there.
ughhhh here we go.. ^ The reason I NEVER give my opinion on any race issue.
Sorry but wasn't this about a women's child getting bullied? Yup. Not about people bickering over their race problems... (that really just continue racism & don't help at all... but whatever!)
I hope these jerks leave your daughter alone and their family/teacher teach them people are people and race isn't important!
I think it's just as awful that an adult would call a child a jerk...how is that any better then this child being a bully?
Because a ten year old boy is old enough to know right from wrong, and is old enough to take responsibility for being a bully.
And I think we can agree, bullies are "jerks".
^Yup pretty much! I'm not going to candy coat it. I feel way worse for the kid getting bullied then the bully being called a jerk on a internet forum.
It's not candy coating it...you don't solve the problem by calling people names, it makes you no better then the one who offended. So because you hide behind a keyboard on an internet forum, it's an ok thing to do? I'm in no way siding with a "bully" and who knows maybe this kid is beat up everyday, maybe he has no support system, and maybe the kid is truly just a bully for the sake of being one. We don't know the situation. I find it absurd to condemn a kid when you have no idea the history. His behaviour is wrong, his parents and the school system need to help to change that. I just don't see the benefit of calling the kid names.0 -
[Chrome deleted my whole comment, which basically said the same thing..]
- Give her a hug from me.
- Remind her it gets better, and this, too, shall pass.
- Remind her that kids are cruel, and not all of them are nearly as educated about being different as she is along with her mother.
- Suggest trying to educate said bully on who she is as a person, not just that she's Mexican or Catholic, however also education bully on being Mexican and Catholic might be a good choice, too, but those aren't what make her her!.
[I am out as queer when I was eleven, so even though for different reasons, I can feel her pain.]0 -
Unfortunately you will always run into ignorant comments like that. I think it should be important to explain to your daughter that not everyone shares the same views regarding ethnicity as your family does but nonetheless make it a point that she should be proud of her heritage. During childhood, our attitudes are molded directly and indirectly by the race, ethnicity, and status of the people around us. So I think it's important to educate your daughters and broaden their horizon. I don't know how much you have educated them about their heritage or if they speak Spanish? But if they have been exposed only to what they see here in the States then they have this very narrow view of what it means to be a Mexican. I would suggest you enrich their knowledge and help them familiarize themselves with the rich Mexican culture. By doing this you empower them and no matter what people say to them, they will always be proud of who their are and where their family comes from.
We can choose to actively influence our children's attitudes. With our encouragement children will test and think through their beliefs about race, ethnicity, and religion.0 -
I'm sorry your daughters had to experience this. It just goes to show what happens when ignorant people reproduce and push their sick beliefs on impressionable young minds.0
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I am so sorry. I worry my son will go through this when he is school age. He is half Filipino. I wish parents wouldn't subject their hatefulness onto their kids, you know that's where they get it from. UGH... so sorry.. please give your daughter a big hug.0
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Racism is SO 1950s ... can't we all get a long???
Seriously, people need to let this old issue die and realize they are being so ignorant. And the poor children being exposed to this awful ignorance is even more mind blowing.
I have to say, I have experienced it first hand. NOBODY out of 100+ people in my family is anything but white. I don't have any relations or connections with any multiracial type of person save for acquaintances on campus. My dad is very guilty of being racist towards Mexicans/Blacks but for some reason has respect to Asians. He has calmed down about it but I did grow up being extremely pulled both ways from wanting to be Hispanic to avoiding them like the plague. It's awful and still to this day I have to remind myself not to stereotype others based on their background. It doesn't end at race... I have caught myself judging others based on class, clothing, religion and whatever else you can name. Parents really do have a HUGE influence on your own perceptions. All you can really do is just continue to be a good role model and instill pride in their heritage. I feel very bad for both your children and the kids being influenced incorrectly about themselves being better then others because they are white or whatever.
Such a sad sad world!0 -
Racism is here. And it's still prevalent in the South. I'm bi-racial (African American and Greek) and I've heard it all. I've had people come and spray paint the N word on my family's garage, I've had things thrown at me and I've been called a "half-breed" "half race" "A white (you know)" and it'll always stick. I've even had guys that said to me "You know you're really cute and nice and all, but you're black"
Heck, our school was on lockdown once because some Klan members were shouting on the school premises and telling all the [you know whats] and [everything else] to get out and go back to their "mud huts in Africa" and other equally rude things.
From elderly to elementary school kids, I've heard such things. I even peer helped at an elementary school where this young second grader told me to "get the heck out of his country"
It is things like this where children grow up to hate their race and want to be different. Because of this I hated being half African American and looked down upon it. But now that I'm the Northern part of the state, I don't have to deal with the constant harassment and I've come to terms and love who I am.
That's what you need to tell your daughter, that she should always be proud of who she is and love herself. And also to not be bitter or become an angry person due to the mistreatment. Because I've just had to realize that people like that are not worth your time, and they never will.
Best of luck to you!
edit: Sorry this is so long. Racism is a somewhat sensitive topic for me =\0 -
Racism is alive and well and will continue as long as we have all the "protected classes" and speical promotions for so many "groups". Example - Shouldn't any beating be a hate crime no matter who you are? Not just gay, black, etc. Once they put us all on a level playing field some of this will go away. You can have black TV, Spanish TV, but who would allow White TV, same with awards you sure can't do an all white awards but they do a Black awards show.
Just saying all this seperation just leads to more problems. We should all be treated the same, stop with the class warfare, group identity. Lets all just get along.0 -
I'm from South Africa, a country that was built on racism, unfortunately, it is here to stay and it will always rear it's ugly head!!!
This kid is just passing down the ignorance he is exposed to in his home! Yes, he is young, there is hope, I do however think you should step in as it will eventually get out of control!0 -
I'm mixed ethnicity and, growing up, my mum would tell me how great it was to be part this and part that. As a result, I 'm proud of my exotic background, therefore nothing negative anyone may say will knock my confidence in my ethnicity.
It's a GIFT to be of multiple ethnic backgrounds! I suggest you remind your kids that regularly, and they will grow an uncrackable confidence in that area.0 -
Haha yeah, I was thinking the same thing.0
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Kids at school learn those opinions from home. That's where the issue is and should be brought up to the principal.My 10 year old daughter (who is half Mexican) comes home today from school upset because of a boy in her class. A classmate of hers told her that all Mexicans are lazy drug dealers who just lay around on the couch all day. He also made fun of catholics. He made comments a couple of months ago and I talked to the teacher, who in turn had a talk with the boy. Guess we're going to see that this gets officially dealt with. My husband is going to go off the deep end. I have always talked to my girls and told them that there will always be someone who has problems with other races and that it just shows their ignorance, but man I'm fired up tonight!
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I've gone through more than a fair share of racism myself, being Egyptian (Arab). This'll one day make your daughters stronger. Honestly, it's best that you openly discuss it with them. I think your approach is the most civil. Violence only leads to more senseless violence. I hope you're able to find peace and leave with piece of mind from all of this.0
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Racism is alive and well and will continue as long as we have all the "protected classes" and speical promotions for so many "groups". Example - Shouldn't any beating be a hate crime no matter who you are? Not just gay, black, etc. Once they put us all on a level playing field some of this will go away. You can have black TV, Spanish TV, but who would allow White TV, same with awards you sure can't do an all white awards but they do a Black awards show.
Just saying all this seperation just leads to more problems. We should all be treated the same, stop with the class warfare, group identity. Lets all just get along.
Not so sure if I agree about the BET and things like that. But yes, the hate crime laws are pretty stupid and basically revitalize segregation within the law.0 -
Lol, reminds me of when I went to Jackson Hole Wyoming and stared at because I was one of the first Asians ever seen...........From a very early age, we have had open discussion about potential racism. They need to be strong enough to deal with it, because outside of the school there is no principal or teacher to run too. We live in a small town in southern Indiana. Quite honestly, she may be the first Mexican this kid has ever seen. At 10, he has been taught this behavior. We will deal with this...she's tough, this will only make her stronger!
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I'm from South Africa, a country that was built on racism, unfortunately, it is here to stay and it will always rear it's ugly head!!!
This kid is just passing down the ignorance he is exposed to in his home! Yes, he is young, there is hope, I do however think you should step in as it will eventually get out of control!
Also a South African....what a curse to live in this country.0 -
Racism stems from ignorance and fear. I'm sorry your kids have to cope with this, but if you explain to them that people who have these attitudes are less enlightened and teach them to take the high road and feel sorry for the people who behave this way, perhaps they will be better able to cope.
I'm not sure if this is good advice or not, because this is kind of out of my realm of experience/understanding, but I definitely sympathise. Just let them know that the people who matter won't judge them this way. I am so sorry this is happening.0
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