..SORRY(not accepting friend request at this time :/ ) ...W

kennethmgreen

Okay ... First off no shade thrown(no disrespect) to anyone that has this message on their profiles because everyone has their own reasons for this also their own right to privacy!!! ..With that said!

I was of course browsing through topics and came across a person and their view on something and thought ..wow this would be a interesting and encouraging person to get to know and get advice from. Well the first thing I seen was the NOT ACCEPTING FRIEND REQUEST sign!!! In my head the first things were said were "Um wtf!! ...Do people really do this?? ...Is there some kind of don't touch celebrities section in MFP I wasn't aware of?? ...Is there an audition policy going on here??:huh: " ... Needless to say I was taken aback by this:grumble: lol.

My question is has anyone else experienced this? Or has anyone had someone question them about their "not accepting friend request" sign?

You do realize that just saying "no disrespect" doesn't mean anything you say after that gets a free pass, right? That's not how things work. Judging by the celebrities and audition comments, it sounds like you are pretty clear on your opinion of people who post that they're not accepting friend requests.

If you are really seeking information and not trying to start an argument and/or rally people to join you in your mocking, why don't you just pose the question directly?

For example:

Why do people put NOT ACCEPTING FRIEND REQUESTS on their profile page?

The problem with asking the way you have is that it sounds like you are already passing judgment before getting your answer. Some might call it contempt prior to investigation. It's not a good way to get honest or friendly answers.

_Khaleesi_

I hate when people start a new group without searching to see if that group already exists.

What? This isn't a thread where we get to complain about things that don't really matter because they barely (if at all) effect us? Oops... missed the memo.

infamousmk

I hate when people start a new group without searching to see if that group already exists.

What? This isn't a thread where we get to complain about things that don't really matter because they barely (if at all) effect us? Oops... missed the memo.

Oh no, you're lost ... that thread was called "MFP Pet Peeves" and was started a couple days ago!

gazz777

Because next thing you know you end up with 274 friends and then it's hard to keep a rapport with everyone.

Been there, done that. Culls are such a big deal for me.

That said. I accept FRs, but culling takes place from time to time. I see ppl here I want to be friends with (and some I think I was), it's nothing personal. If we are to love everyone equally we would have over 7,000,000,000 friends. Who has the time, really !

There goes another 5 minutes, but worth it IMHO !

Elleinnz

I do not have that sign up - yet - but I do decline friend requests.....
I only have 73 pals on here, but honestly I find it very hard to be truly supportive even to these peeps - let alone a ton more.

I have been thinking about this quite a bit over the past few weeks - obviously heaps of new people looking for inspiration and support as they start their journeys - so quite a few new requests (normally when one has posted in the forums or blogs)

I am at a different place in my journey than most new MFP'ers - I still remember very clearly where I have come from - but I do things very differently now than when I first started (and that is not what most new people need to copy....)

1) I am experimenting - and this is not always a good example of what your day should look like for new people.....
2) I am over the OMG - this is the greatest site - and spending every available hour on here talking in the forums and commenting on people's food and exercise diaries, so if you want support and a cheerleader every day I am not your girl!!

So for people that send this type of friend request "Hi - I am new - you are so inspiring, I would love for you support me in my journey....."

A bit like Cory (Corylda) - i am happy to answer specific questions, give hints and help - but I am not able to be your support and motivation every single day....as I don't live on MFP - I have a life of fitness and health away from my computer.

My profile / diary everything is open for scrutiny by anyone - and I will always reply to messages (even though I might decline friend requests) - Having said that I have accepted about 8 since the beginning of the year, so if we have things in common - and you took the trouble to tell me that in your message I might still add you...

Then I also actually like to interact with people with similar goals, dreams and lifestyles, exercise approaches than me - I find these are the people that I have built the closest links with here on MFP, and with no disrespect some people just does not fall into that category....

What I would suggest to the newbies - for support find others like yourself that is just starting out as well to be your support and cheerleaders, and then by all means "follow" some of the veterans / wise owls on here to learn tips and tricks, a lot of these people will not comment on every move you make - and that is fine if you know it up front....but make sure in your friend request that you state that to them - I suspect they will then be more open to adding you as a friend.

Good luck to every single person looking for friends - trust me it is hard to decline most requests, but I have to do what is right for me - and ultimately not set unrealistic expectations that I can not meet in accepting your friend requests

Wow - sorry did not realise my answer got this long!!

KingBee79

Nopedotjpeg

Not everyone wants to know everyone, and sometimes it gets cumbersome to have 100+ people and you miss out on those closer MFP friends of yours.

misstasharenee

Okay ... First off no shade thrown(no disrespect) to anyone that has this message on their profiles because everyone has their own reasons for this also their own right to privacy!!! ..With that said!

I was of course browsing through topics and came across a person and their view on something and thought ..wow this would be a interesting and encouraging person to get to know and get advice from. Well the first thing I seen was the NOT ACCEPTING FRIEND REQUEST sign!!! In my head the first things were said were "Um wtf!! ...Do people really do this?? ...Is there some kind of don't touch celebrities section in MFP I wasn't aware of?? ...Is there an audition policy going on here??:huh: " ... Needless to say I was taken aback by this:grumble: lol.

My question is has anyone else experienced this? Or has anyone had someone question them about their "not accepting friend request" sign?

You do realize that just saying "no disrespect" doesn't mean anything you say after that gets a free pass, right? That's not how things work. Judging by the celebrities and audition comments, it sounds like you are pretty clear on your opinion of people who post that they're not accepting friend requests.

If you are really seeking information and not trying to start an argument and/or rally people to join you in your mocking, why don't you just pose the question directly?

For example:

Why do people put NOT ACCEPTING FRIEND REQUESTS on their profile page?

The problem with asking the way you have is that it sounds like you are already passing judgment before getting your answer. Some might call it contempt prior to investigation. It's not a good way to get honest or friendly answers.

If you looking clearly the questions in this post were( ...My question is has anyone else experienced this? Or has anyone had someone question them about their "not accepting friend request" sign?) That's the meaning of this post. Yes I gave my personal experience on going to a profile that has this on there and I shared the feeling I had. There was no judgement to be passed. Now if anyone mistakes my personal rant on seeing a "not accepting friend request" sign on a person I would have liked to be friends with then their taking this to seriously. This was my first time seeing this and it just tripped me out. BUT if I wanted to know why people are putting not accepting friends than that's what I would have asked.

fatboypup

HONEY BADGER DONT GIVE A *kitten*!

misstasharenee

Okay ... First off no shade thrown...

Someeone's been hanging out with drag queens ;-)

LOL

sunkisses

I can be noncommittal and not supportive to many many people at once. In fact, the more the merrier.

SergeantSunshine_reused

I have that on my profile actually. Only because I get a lot of friend requests and can't keep up with all my friends If they include a message i usually will, but a lot of people add then never talk to me so it just makes it easier

hipsgalore

I absolutely HATE that stupid clause too. irks the h*** out of me!

meltygarden

I can understand it. I am hesitant to have too many friends because this weight loss thing has to be about me doing something for myself. A lot of people like having a group to encourage them and sort of prod them along, but I don't work that way. If I start feeling like I have to impress someone else or meet someone else's standards, I get rebellious and tend to self-sabotage. So I have to be careful about that.

farfalledibaciodinotte

might be because you left the water running in your sink....

Yeah I don't accept anybody that waste water...sorry:ohwell:

I'm good at conserving water.. come shower with me.. :smooched:

dane11235813

I have that on my profile actually. Only because I get a lot of friend requests and can't keep up with all my friends If they include a message i usually will, but a lot of people add then never talk to me so it just makes it easier

you have 213 friends. how many do you really interact with?

at least your message doesn't say "i like to keep my friends list small so i can stay in touch with everyone and support them"
i saw that the other day and laughed. the girl had around 270 'friends'

to each their own i guess....

CaptainGordo

I absolutely HATE that stupid clause too. irks the h*** out of me!

Sorry, I'm not accepting requests at this time.

LuciaLongIsland

I haven't friend requested anyone I don't already know and therefor haven't run into this. I can only guess that they prefer to stay friends with people they already know. I know I have debated on this. Do I really want strangers to see what I share on here. I share personal info - including talking about my kids. But I, for now, am accepting new friends.... I think. LOL!!

However, when I receive friend requests from other people I always wonder why they want to be my friend. What did I write that they decided to send me a friend request??

I usually send a message saying why I want to be friends. For me it is so much easier sharing personal info, on here rather then FB. I would never admit how heavy I am to my friends. There is anonymity here as we really don't know each other on a personal level meaning we don't socialize or live in the same town, etc.

SergeantSunshine_reused

I have that on my profile actually. Only because I get a lot of friend requests and can't keep up with all my friends If they include a message i usually will, but a lot of people add then never talk to me so it just makes it easier

you have 213 friends. how many do you really interact with?

at least your message doesn't say "i like to keep my friends list small so i can stay in touch with everyone and support them"
i saw that the other day and laughed. the girl had around 270 'friends'

to each their own i guess....

You would be surprised how many of them I actually talk to quite often. I end up getting a bunch of new friends, but give them time to see how many I will keep. I cut my list down to 170 once and got messages from people noticing i deleted them.

I dunno if I could keep up with my small list of 270 if I had that many tho! xD

MaximalLife

Sure, some are just very selective in who they want in their circle.

It's no biggie.I sent you a request, and whatever I can do to support you, just ask.
Maybe we can help each other.

samatalma

My question is: Why is it such a big deal that someone isn't accepting friend requests?
Find someone else to friend. It's that simple.

ConkreteChic

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....I just made this my computer wallpaper. Hope you don't mind

MrsKunz

Ok i think almost everyone missed the end of his statement i believe they were asking why and how does this make others feel?

Frankly i think it is kinda weird cause aren't we here for the support and motivation from others to make our journey more enjoyable? I know that's why i joined.

But with that said i learned today there are people i would never want on my page because of how judgmental and hateful they are so i think for me i wont ask for friends nor will i accept people who aren't supportive or who aren't on the path that i am!

SexyCook

We are all here to support but after you get so many friends its kind of hard to REALLY support tons of pals...Therefore when your friend list gets to heavy...It's unfortunate but no more request...Only fair to the pals you have that if they are supporting you then in turn you should do the same...I have posted that several times when I am flooded..but once weeding out out the not so serious I can take on more if I want...

Really if people are not accepting friend request at this time...it shouldnt be a big deal we just move on...

Akjenn89

"Um wtf!! ...Do people really do this??

Yes

...Is there some kind of don't touch celebrities section in MFP I wasn't aware of?? ...Is there an audition policy going on here??:huh: "

No, some people just don't add people they don't know in real life. Or don't want to add a bunch of people they hardly know. It doesn't mean they aren't willing to answer questions or reply to messages. They just don't add friends.

My question is has anyone else experienced this?

Yea, I've seen it on other people's profiles. It doesn't bother me, however. I am also one of those people that doesn't add people they hardly know.

Or has anyone had someone question them about their "not accepting friend request" sign?

No, but i haven't bothered putting a sign up. I think my profile is set to private anyhow.

misstasharenee

My question is: Why is it such a big deal that someone isn't accepting friend requests?
Find someone else to friend. It's that simple.

Um did you not read the questions I asked? No one is upset, down, depressed or angry about the person not accepting a friend request. I said (A) have anyone else seen this sign? and (B) has anyone had this sign up and a person were you questioned about it?

misstasharenee

"Um wtf!! ...Do people really do this??

Yes

...Is there some kind of don't touch celebrities section in MFP I wasn't aware of?? ...Is there an audition policy going on here??:huh: "

No, some people just don't add people they don't know in real life. Or don't want to add a bunch of people they hardly know. It doesn't mean they aren't willing to answer questions or reply to messages. They just don't add friends.

My question is has anyone else experienced this?

Yea, I've seen it on other people's profiles. It doesn't bother me, however. I am also one of those people that doesn't add people they hardly know.

Or has anyone had someone question them about their "not accepting friend request" sign?

No, but i haven't bothered putting a sign up. I think my profile is set to private anyhow.

Thank you for actually reading what I wrote and then giving answers!!!

CaptainGordo

Ok i think almost everyone missed the end of his statement i believe they were asking why and how does this make others feel?

Plenty of us expressed why we limit out friends lists.

Frankly i think it is kinda weird cause aren't we here for the support and motivation from others to make our journey more enjoyable? I know that's why i joined.

So, should we have to add anyone? Aren't we all free to choose who we would like to have along with us on our fitness Steve Perry?

CaptainGordo

...

SergeantSunshine_reused

Ok i think almost everyone missed the end of his statement i believe they were asking why and how does this make others feel?

Frankly i think it is kinda weird cause aren't we here for the support and motivation from others to make our journey more enjoyable? I know that's why i joined.

But with that said i learned today there are people i would never want on my page because of how judgmental and hateful they are so i think for me i wont ask for friends nor will i accept people who aren't supportive or who aren't on the path that i am!

Try supporting 200 friends in a day -- not as much fun as a smaller group. You get to know people better that way