rude people

ladylu11
ladylu11 Posts: 631 Member
in Chit-Chat
Please excuse me while I vent for a minute.
I read a lot on the message boards when people post questions on fitness, exercise, and eating healthy to hopefully educate myself and help in my own journey. However, I have to say how ridiculous it is that so many post answers that are almost an attack on others for what they do not know. If you have information that can be helpful to another, there is no reason to "talk down" when sharing your information because quite frankly you just come off looking like a big jerk! If you can't be nice then don't post! That is all. Carry on and have a great Sunday :)
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Replies

  • purplebabe2025
    purplebabe2025 Posts: 383 Member
    Agree, reason why I stay away from the boards, really ain't got time for attitude!
  • jenready
    jenready Posts: 2,658 Member
    I agree! There are so many people on here that need help, they don't need to feel stupid for asking a question because of rude people answering. I thought the goal of the forums was to help people learn about fitness and nutrition.
  • Indy_Mario
    Indy_Mario Posts: 532 Member
    I most certainly agree with you! Thanks for voicing it for me.

    Have a wonderful Sunday!
  • LTGPSA
    LTGPSA Posts: 633 Member
    Totally agree!! It's really sad that people can't try harder to be nice ~ our world could be a much better place. :flowerforyou:
  • Bagman12002
    Bagman12002 Posts: 216 Member
    well said..
  • debbiepa
    debbiepa Posts: 45
    I totally agree. No question is a dumb question; we are all here to better ourselves. We should be supportive; even if that means answering the same question over and over.
  • ayshamc
    ayshamc Posts: 226 Member
    When I first joined the forum I noticed this and it has turned me off posting new topics to be honest.

    The main thing that I got from all the comments that I was reading was that we "Newbies" should not be asking questions, we should be using the search function on the boards to find out the information that we require, that the "oldies" have responded to, time and time again.

    I don't think that people "re-ask" questions to be annoying, or because they can't be arsed searching out the info, I think sometimes it's an ice-breaker on here, a way to feel more involved and to make new friends.

    I don't mind answering the same information 50,000 times if it means someone feels like there question has been answered and maybe gained a few new friends out of it - we are all here for the same reason! :smile:
  • dubist
    dubist Posts: 279 Member
    I most certainly agree with you! Thanks for voicing it for me.

    Have a wonderful Sunday!
    +1
  • LabRat529
    LabRat529 Posts: 1,323 Member
    "Rude" is in the eye of the beholder. There are a few people that are intentionally antagonistic, but there are also some rather sensitive people that get offended any time someone disagrees with them or posts correct information to counter the myths they are throwing around.

    Besides- and I'll probably ruffle some feathers with this comment- social correction has a place and a purpose. Sometimes, people waste their time and ours when they do not accept responsibility for their actions, when they worry about things that are trivial or beyond their control (premenstrual water retention, for example), when they preach wives-tales and myths as if they were truth, and when they fail to use common sense, logic, and reason to govern their actions and then complain when they aren't successful. I see nothing wrong with nicely but firmly telling someone that they're making a mistake. Unfortunately, many view that as "rude" behavior.

    Incidentally, I do all of the above sometimes too. I appreciate constructive critique. Of course, if you're going to critique me, you'd better have science and reason on your side ;) but I still appreciate it.

    I'm also a big girl- I can select the advice I choose to follow, ignore the advice I choose to ignore, and most of the time, I can choose not to get offended when someone uses language that I find harsh (sometimes people are just *kitten* and it's hard to resist the temptation to be an *kitten* back).
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
    Great post, rebekah.

    Personally, if I throw something out there I don't mind other members ripping it apart. As long as they're attacking the article, method or theory and not attacking me, I like hearing other opinions, whether I agree with them or not. It often results in doing a bit more research on my own so I can better form my own opinion.

    I can't change the way others present things but I can choose how I react. :smile:
  • carlie_carl
    carlie_carl Posts: 285
    thouroughly agree with this post, constructive critism is fine, if someone is doing something wrong I have no problem if they are corrected politley, this site is about positivity, negative comments are not needed, especially if they are almost mocking another persons concept of what ever they are talking about.
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
    True Rebekah. However, there's constructive criticism (No, you will not go into starvation mode tomorrow because you only ate 500 calories today) and hostility (What a stupid question! We've answered this 50,000 times. Look it up and stop bothering us!)

    There are some people who are just plain rude. They get their kicks being mean and nasty. There have been threads about how people will tell someone that thy would be pretty if they'd just lose weight. That can't be said for the mean people though. They might lose weight but their inner ugliness will still show through. It's a shame really.
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
    While I totally agree with you and think this is something people should keep in mind, we do have to remember that this is the internet. No matter where you go, there will be know-it-alls and people being condescending to others. MFP is actually probably the friendliest internet community I've ever come across. I just ignore the rude people who irk me. I see far more positive posts here than negative ones :smile:
  • Amy911Gray
    Amy911Gray Posts: 685 Member
    Exactly!
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
    Please excuse me while I vent for a minute.
    That's cool. Just light a match when you're done, please.

    :wink:
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    But how else can people with poor self-esteem make themselves feel better? Belittling other users takes them straight to their feelings of superiority!
  • Cr8tive_Ingenuity
    Cr8tive_Ingenuity Posts: 181
    While I totally agree with you and think this is something people should keep in mind, we do have to remember that this is the internet. No matter where you go, there will be know-it-alls and people being condescending to others. MFP is actually probably the friendliest internet community I've ever come across. I just ignore the rude people who irk me. I see far more positive posts here than negative ones :smile:

    +1
  • LilMissFoodie
    LilMissFoodie Posts: 612 Member
    When I first joined the forum I noticed this and it has turned me off posting new topics to be honest.

    The main thing that I got from all the comments that I was reading was that we "Newbies" should not be asking questions, we should be using the search function on the boards to find out the information that we require, that the "oldies" have responded to, time and time again.

    I don't think that people "re-ask" questions to be annoying, or because they can't be arsed searching out the info, I think sometimes it's an ice-breaker on here, a way to feel more involved and to make new friends.

    I don't mind answering the same information 50,000 times if it means someone feels like there question has been answered and maybe gained a few new friends out of it - we are all here for the same reason! :smile:

    I agree. I also think that there are so many posts on each topic and none of them really come to a firm conclusion. There are things people spout over and over again on here that are just plain wrong but are considered right because the 'right' people agree with it, who tend to be the people that attack others for saying anything they don't agree with.
  • dane11235813
    dane11235813 Posts: 682 Member
    Please excuse me while I vent for a minute.
    I read a lot on the message boards when people post questions on fitness, exercise, and eating healthy to hopefully educate myself and help in my own journey. However, I have to say how ridiculous it is that so many post answers that are almost an attack on others for what they do not know. If you have information that can be helpful to another, there is no reason to "talk down" when sharing your information because quite frankly you just come off looking like a big jerk! If you can't be nice then don't post! That is all. Carry on and have a great Sunday :)

    one of the biggest problems with this board is that some people offer advice when they really don't know what they're talking about.

    "my friend knows a trainer who said to do this....."
    or
    "i read in a magazine you should always/never/sometimes eat this"

    i know people are just trying to be helpful, but if you don't know what you're talking about keep it to yourself because bad advice can hurt people more than not saying anything at all.
  • alisha232
    alisha232 Posts: 43 Member
    I agree. I am very new to being healthier and trying to get fit. I honestly was never taught about being healthy or living a more active life style. I have just started my journey so sometimes I know my questions probably seem stupid to people who have been doing this longer. I'm open to learning and am researching everyday. So far I haven't had any rude responders.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Maybe I've just lead a bad life and have visited the roughest corners of the interwebs, but I've seen fewer really rude people on here than any other site I've frequented.
  • alisha232
    alisha232 Posts: 43 Member
    Maybe I've just lead a bad life and have visited the roughest corners of the interwebs, but I've seen fewer really rude people on here than any other site I've frequented.

    This is very true. So far I love this community :)
  • PeaceLuvVeggies
    PeaceLuvVeggies Posts: 375 Member
    Please excuse me while I vent for a minute.
    I read a lot on the message boards when people post questions on fitness, exercise, and eating healthy to hopefully educate myself and help in my own journey. However, I have to say how ridiculous it is that so many post answers that are almost an attack on others for what they do not know. If you have information that can be helpful to another, there is no reason to "talk down" when sharing your information because quite frankly you just come off looking like a big jerk! If you can't be nice then don't post! That is all. Carry on and have a great Sunday :)

    100% agree.
  • DawnDawn2011
    DawnDawn2011 Posts: 92
    I am so sorry you had a bad experience! I hope it doesn't stop you from posting in the future. There are always negative people out there, you just have to ignore them. I am so grateful that I have had such a positive experience here on MFP. I have learned a lot, made some really cool friends and lost a little weight, gained a bunch of muscle! So I do like I do in real life, if someone is a mean *kitten*, I ignore them, or tell them to shut the hell up, if they are cool to me, I count them as my friend! There are a lot of cool intelligent people here, listen to them! : )
  • SalishSea
    SalishSea Posts: 373 Member
    I totally agree. There is one thing in life that is true and that is....there are rude people wherever you go.

    I have wondered where is the search function? I cannot find it? I have looked but never found it.
  • DawnDawn2011
    DawnDawn2011 Posts: 92
    Maybe I've just lead a bad life and have visited the roughest corners of the interwebs, but I've seen fewer really rude people on here than any other site I've frequented.

    This is one of the cool smart people, I am friends with her and I listen to her advice!
  • therealangd
    therealangd Posts: 1,861 Member
    I totally agree. There is one thing in life that is true and that is....there are rude people wherever you go.

    I have wondered where is the search function? I cannot find it? I have looked but never found it.

    Right across the top.

    > Home > Recent Posts > My Topics > Settings > Search
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
    Maybe I've just lead a bad life and have visited the roughest corners of the interwebs, but I've seen fewer really rude people on here than any other site I've frequented.
    Sadly, there is a widespread victim mentality among the much of the MFP population. Many folks are seeking others to validate their ideas for quick fixes. When members offer reputable information in the hope of saving people from wasting time/money, they are seen as not being supportive.

    Also, many people have a hard time distinguishing criticism of ideas from criticism of people. Just because I criticize someone's idea, does not mean that I am criticizing them as a person.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    one of the biggest problems with this board is that some people offer advice when they really don't know what they're talking about.

    "my friend knows a trainer who said to do this....."
    or
    "i read in a magazine you should always/never/sometimes eat this"

    i know people are just trying to be helpful, but if you don't know what you're talking about keep it to yourself because bad advice can hurt people more than not saying anything at all.

    I will second this and add to it - the people who post "my doctor told me this..." or "My personal trainer told me this" or... "my dietician told me this".... people keep forgetting that the advice they get is only meant for them.. its not meant for here for other people.... The last thing I hope anyone does here is to take medical advice from this website.. this is not being monitored by real medical diagnosing individuals... Steve and Mike will agree with this wholeheartedly.

    When a healthcare professional or personal trainer or dietician gives that person advice, that advice is ONLY for that person.... MFP does not like Medical related question-information being discussed when its in the realm of people asking medical advice. What works for that one person through their doctor, its only meant for that one person.....

    If your doctor tells you 'this is how it goes" - they are giving you the information for you, at you, to you... its not meant for other people.

    If your personal trainer suggested something to you, for you, that is info they based on the individual's data.

    The dietician is the worst offender - they either do a 'straight out of the books' piece of advice, or they are tailoring their advice to the individual.

    There are many people who post similar things like this and the examples from the quoted material that should never be given here....

    I will always tell people "what my doctor says to do only applies to me - I wont go recommending it to you because Im not your doctor - you really should be connecting with your doctor because they know you - no one here knows your medical health history"

    THATS the right way to handle things....

    But some of the die-hards that Ive run into around on the boards.... they make my PMS look like sunshine and sparkles.... ***rolling eyes
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
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