Why the hate?!

IronmanPanda

I can't speak for anyone else here but I love myself every night.

dcdickerson2

I have worked for many years with children and adults who have developmental disabilities, and I think the person centered perspective I have learned from being in this field applies to people who have a weight challenge as well. You should not say, "the autistic (substitute: schizophrenic, mentally retarded, downs syndrome, learning disabled) person..." There is much more to a person than a label. You should say, "The person with (or who has) autism (schizophrenia, a learning disability, etc)..." Same with people who have weight challenges or food challenges, or whatever. We should not refer to each other with labels such as the fat or obese person, etc. It is a matter of sensitivity and opens the door to being able to see and appreciate the whole person, including all their abilities and strengths, not just limiting ourselves to seeing the flaws. When we think about ourselves, we should also recognize that we are complex beings with many qualities, not just excess weight. Love yourself? You betcha! Health decisions will follow.

Thad81

I agree very much! Before I ever truly became fat I felt fat, was told I was fat cuz I was bigger than the average kid (and by that i was in the 98th percentile on the growth charts) by my family and this helped to spawn a deep self loathing and misperception of myself. Even now that I have accomplished so much weight loss and fitness I still frequently have a hard time accepting that I am no longer that "fat". In my mind I still feel fat and I have to fight that alot. I often expect to see that person that I was in the mirror. I think that is just as much of a challenge as the actual weightloss or possibly moreso is the battle against your misperceptions.

There is nothing easy about all this, it is however important to accept yourself no matter what you are, and if you can find a balance being very overweight then more power to you. I couldn't I know this for myself but am not interested in denigrating others for their weight problems or lack there of. I have been in what felt like the depths of hell with my food addictions and I know what it takes to get out. But my answers are my own and I can't say whats best for anyone else.

Its best in my opinion to hope the best for others, offer your support, and not to cause more harm.

I can't say self love is my strong suit but I am working on it, and I am doing better now than I ever have! I do get a lot of hope from this site, and support and I think that is a great thing.

cjpg

You're an inspiration. Thank you for saying what so many people choose to ignore. It's a simple life ideal that people need to keep close to their hearts.

As Don Henley so eloquently puts it in "The Heart of the Matter":

"Trust and self-assurance
They lead to Happiness
They're the very things
We kill I guess"

cjpg

You typed too much! I didn't read it but.....WTG I guess

Dude, what's the point of posting a reply like this? Giving someone a 'WTG I guess' is incredibly ridiculous.

merzback

I was a bit incensed this morning on facebook, Someone put pics of a healthy food and a picture of thin, fit bodies saying if you eat this- this is how you will look...
Then there was a pic of cheeseburger, fries and a coke and an equal sign to very obese bodies. I was disgusted by it because it's not always accurate and seemed very stereotypical! I eat healthier and work out way more than my very skinny, fast metabolism cousins- but if you look at me you would just assume the stereotype.

andrejjorje

WOW. Can we join you?:laugh:

I can't speak for anyone else here but I love myself every night.

ryall70

Thank you!! If you dont love yourself and accept that this is the body you have now, you wont feel like it is "worth" all the work to make it better. It is entirely possible to love yourself and with that love understand that you have to make changes to be able to love it for a very long time.

Great post! I was thinking bout this the other morning, " what's the use and who cares anyway?" Then I thought I care!!!!
Wonderful thread.

fiberartist219

I have to love myself at every size. If I hated myself while being overweight, I wouldn't care enough to change it. I have to love my chubby self enough to exercise, feed myself properly and treat myself better.

In fact, sometimes hating the fat makes it grow....

Personally, I wish that beauty magazines would use models of ALL sizes. There are a zillion skinny fashion models. Then there are the spreads that feature the "plus sized" models. (Most of the "plus sized models aren't really plus sized, but that's another story.) I would LOVE to see ads with both thin and heavy physiques that associate with each other. I think Dove is the only brand that has stepped up to the plate in that regard.

A beautiful person is a person who takes care of themselves and who is confident. This is not exclusive to any size or shape. I firmly believe this.

I want to lose weight because I'm afraid of diabetes. I am not losing it for vanity. Although, for many people, vanity is a huge motivator, but vanity can lead to unhealthy ways of losing weight.

I've been both thin (almost underweight) and obese. I feel more or less the same either way. I am perceived differently though. As a skinny person, I got a lot of attention, both good and bad. As a heavy person, I go mostly unnoticed.

LastSixtySix

I don't think it's so hard to learn to love one's self. I taught myself at about age 13. I got quite good at it, actually. :bigsmile:

So glad for you, TD. I wish I could have learned to love myself that young. As it was, it finally happened in the later part of my fourth decade! How to fulfill Jesus second greatest commandment in Matt 22:39 is a complete mystery to most evangelical/fundamentalists in America. WWJD - is code for, how will you martyr yourself for others today? I grew up a co-dependent raised by co-dependents. Breaking that cycle was the hardest thing I've ever accomplished.

No one can have a healthy or honest body image of themselves without first truly loving themselves. No one can truly love themselves without tossing out the fixation with the whole martyr-hero complex. Individuals are their own heros - and it's absolutely amazing to watch people take responsibility for themselves by making good, adult choices. One of those good, responsible choices is the theme of this topic: respect for bodies, all bodies.

Doesn't matter how I was in the past or will be in the future, if I'm not happy with myself now, I'll never be happy at some future date when something else happens. Definately, I'll be glad when the excess baggage is gone BUT it doesn't stop me from loving myself right now and encouraging others to love themselves right now too. Course, they can love me too!! I'll take all the love I can get!!!

-Debra (the LastSixty)

LastSixtySix

I was a bit incensed this morning on facebook, Someone put pics of a healthy food and a picture of thin, fit bodies saying if you eat this- this is how you will look...
Then there was a pic of cheeseburger, fries and a coke and an equal sign to very obese bodies. I was disgusted by it because it's not always accurate and seemed very stereotypical! I eat healthier and work out way more than my very skinny, fast metabolism cousins- but if you look at me you would just assume the stereotype.

So true! Without thinking, people are sooooooo stupid.

-Debra (the LastSixty)