I <3 MFP but really, is this nastiness necessary?

CoryIda

I admit it. Sometimes I like to read through the forums - especially this "Chit-chat, fun, and games" section - *just* because of the ridiculous middle-school drama on here. It's like watching a soap opera, and I want to grab a bowl of popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the show...

But sometimes it goes too far. As with "real life" there are going to be personalities on here that don't mesh well. You won't like everything about everyone. You WILL have your favorites. Heck, I know I do. There are also people who irritate me to no end.

And that's okay. It's a part of life.

Teasing is also a part of life, but as adults (and we are all supposed to be over 18 on here), shouldn't we be a LITTLE more mature than to resort to name-calling?

Instead of calling people ego-maniacal, self-centered, self-righteous, ignorant, etc., why not offer CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. You could offer helpful feedback on things they have said, or correct ignorant assumptions with your own research-based opinions, or just simply bite your tongue.

The thing is, I have friends on MFP who don't like each other. I see posts on my news feed talking about how awful or ridiculous [insert name here] is and then see a post by that referenced person two seconds later saying negative things about the other person.

As an adult, I choose not to participate in that nastiness. I'm not an angry, angst-ridden teenager. I'm not dying to be "popular."
I use MFP to help me keep track of my food and fitness, I use it to get and give support, and I use it for entertainment - I love fun, games, jokes, etc. I do not, however, use it to bully or tease or participate in any activity that is going to hurt others.

Why? Because I am an adult and it is my responsibility to behave like one.

The whole point of MFP is to help us learn self control. Primarily, its purpose is to help us learn to control our bodies - what we put in them and how we move them - but we also need to be learning to control what comes OUT of them. Petty hatred or prejudice... or kindness, humor, and honesty?

Personally, I will always choose the latter.

/end rant

_binary_jester_

Posting here for the irony of the subject.

jennajava

stephevers1227

Amen. Beautifully written. I don't think I could say it better myself.

MereMe

^ love this. And I agree. Why can't we all just be friends!?!?!?

TheDoctor90

Honestly, of all the internet forums I've frequented, this has got to be the nicest.
Whether that's the strict moderation, or people are generally nicer here I don't know.

_binary_jester_

Honestly, of all the internet forums I've frequented, this has got to be the nicest.
Whether that's the strict moderation, or people are generally nicer here I don't know.

I agree. Visit 4chan or even reddit for that matter.

silvergurl518

thank you, cory. this is why i'm friends with you (and not friends with others).

bullying = zero tolerance. i would know. i was bullied for years in school.

maab_connor

this is why i love the new "ignore" feature. i know of several ppl on here who i cannot STAND, due to personality conflict. i'm sure that, to ppl who don't clash with them, they are perfectly nice individuals. that doesn't mean i have to like them. and now, i don't have to even see them on here.

basically though, don't be a d!ck. ignore the ppl you don't like and this site gets a LOT cooler. and it was pretty up on that scale anyway.

TheDoctor90

Honestly, of all the internet forums I've frequented, this has got to be the nicest.
Whether that's the strict moderation, or people are generally nicer here I don't know.

I agree. Visit 4chan or even reddit for that matter.

Not even that far, just general forums. Hobbies, Cars, other fitness forums etc, they all seem much worse than here.
I just wonder if some people here get uber sensitive.

koosdel

I hate everyone. Hopefully the zombie apocalypse will come soon so I can start shooting.

silvergurl518

I hate everyone. Hopefully the zombie apocalypse will come soon so I can start shooting.

before you hate everyone, check the crush thread

k. *three cheers for cory*

_binary_jester_

Honestly, of all the internet forums I've frequented, this has got to be the nicest.
Whether that's the strict moderation, or people are generally nicer here I don't know.

I agree. Visit 4chan or even reddit for that matter.

Not even that far, just general forums. Hobbies, Cars, other fitness forums etc, they all seem much worse than here.
I just wonder if some people here get uber sensitive.

I was a mod for a forum that specifically had a flame section. w00t! that was fun

Qarol

A prime example where being in the middle is NOT fun...

odusgolp

Dude.... A flame section makes me clench *LOL*

BrettPGH

this is why i love the new "ignore" feature. i know of several ppl on here who i cannot STAND, due to personality conflict. i'm sure that, to ppl who don't clash with them, they are perfectly nice individuals. that doesn't mean i have to like them. and now, i don't have to even see them on here.

basically though, don't be a d!ck. ignore the ppl you don't like and this site gets a LOT cooler. and it was pretty up on that scale anyway.

This is the most important thing that will be said in this thread, most likely.

Don't like someone? Put them on ignore. You don't even need a good reason. Just set them to ignore and you never have to hear from them again.

OR you can start threads when someone is saying something you don't think they should, like you're their mother. Basically exacerbating the problem. Nobody likes to be told how they should behave by a stranger.

So why not just put people you don't like on ignore as opposed to starting threads calling them out to increase the drama? Hmm?

kapeluza

Honestly, of all the internet forums I've frequented, this has got to be the nicest.
Whether that's the strict moderation, or people are generally nicer here I don't know.

I agree. Visit 4chan or even reddit for that matter.

Not even that far, just general forums. Hobbies, Cars, other fitness forums etc, they all seem much worse than here.
I just wonder if some people here get uber sensitive.

I choked on my water while reading this.
These forums are probably the most hostile forums I have ever frequented. They are worse than gaming forums where teenagers are nerd raging over epics, game mechanics, etc. But now that I think about it a little more, maybe not as bad as babycenter. Babycenter is the motherload of f$cked up forums.

odusgolp

this is why i love the new "ignore" feature. i know of several ppl on here who i cannot STAND, due to personality conflict. i'm sure that, to ppl who don't clash with them, they are perfectly nice individuals. that doesn't mean i have to like them. and now, i don't have to even see them on here.

basically though, don't be a d!ck. ignore the ppl you don't like and this site gets a LOT cooler. and it was pretty up on that scale anyway.

This is the most important thing that will be said in this thread, most likely.

Don't like someone? Put them on ignore. You don't even need a good reason. Just set them to ignore and you never have to hear from them again.

OR you can start threads when someone is saying something you don't think they should, like you're their mother. Basically exacerbating the problem. Nobody likes to be told how they should behave by a stranger.

So why not just put people you don't like on ignore as opposed to starting threads calling them out to increase the drama? Hmm?

Lay down and just let me pet you, love.

adjones5

Posting here for the irony of the subject.

Yep.

Also, I'm sorry but you cannot control what others do, even if you make a thread about it.

TheDoctor90

Honestly, of all the internet forums I've frequented, this has got to be the nicest.
Whether that's the strict moderation, or people are generally nicer here I don't know.

I agree. Visit 4chan or even reddit for that matter.

Not even that far, just general forums. Hobbies, Cars, other fitness forums etc, they all seem much worse than here.
I just wonder if some people here get uber sensitive.

I choked on my water while reading this.
These forums are probably the most hostile forums I have ever frequented. They are worse than gaming forums where teenagers are nerd raging over epics, game mechanics, etc. But now that I think about it a little more, maybe not as bad as babycenter. Babycenter is the motherload of f$cked up forums.

Not sure what forums you visit, but there is hardly any real hate on these boards. Even if there were, the mods are pretty quick to clean stuff up.
But either way, just ignore it and don't get involved.

La_Amazona

^ love this. And I agree. Why can't we all just be friends!?!?!?

because even friends aren't real friends. we all stab each other in the back!!!!












i'm kidding. i love my friends and i'd never stab them.

_binary_jester_

Honestly, of all the internet forums I've frequented, this has got to be the nicest.
Whether that's the strict moderation, or people are generally nicer here I don't know.

I agree. Visit 4chan or even reddit for that matter.

Not even that far, just general forums. Hobbies, Cars, other fitness forums etc, they all seem much worse than here.
I just wonder if some people here get uber sensitive.

I choked on my water while reading this.
These forums are probably the most hostile forums I have ever frequented. They are worse than gaming forums where teenagers are nerd raging over epics, game mechanics, etc. But now that I think about it a little more, maybe not as bad as babycenter. Babycenter is the motherload of f$cked up forums.

This is child's play compared to what I read.

gabbingfilly

Well said! I agree completely. I just joined last week and already have had someone make a rude/nasty comment towards me on one of the games and I found it comepletely uncalled for, but I just bit my tongue and let them have their moment. It's sad, and like you said, I'm here for support, not for bitterness and drama.

SiltyPigeon

I hate everyone. Hopefully the zombie apocalypse will come soon so I can start shooting.

I second this.
<---- This is me training for the zombie apocalypse.

FearAnLoathing

Passive aggresive bullies are just as bad as well

iuangina

Well, when a bunch of fat people don't get their cookies and sweets they tend to become nasty. Just personal experience

MrsCon40

Honestly, of all the internet forums I've frequented, this has got to be the nicest.
Whether that's the strict moderation, or people are generally nicer here I don't know.

I agree. Visit 4chan or even reddit for that matter.

Seriously. Even BabyCenter has more hostility than here.

ArroganceInStep

I never grew up, I just developed the means with which to pay for the stupid s*** I like to do.

Contrarian

^ love this. And I agree. Why can't we all just be friends!?!?!?

because even friends aren't real friends. we all stab each other in the back!!!!












i'm kidding. i love my friends and i'd never stab them.

I stab hobos, sometimes.

CoryIda

Posting here for the irony of the subject.

Yep.

Also, I'm sorry but you cannot control what others do, even if you make a thread about it.

You are absolutely right - I can't control what others do.
I wouldn't want to even if I could because, in all honesty, sometimes I make bad choices and what if I made the wrong one and everyone had to follow it anyway?

My point was not to call anyone out. My point was simply to make a suggestion that we treat each other a little more tactfully. You can be honest AND funny without being mean. As someone who has a lot of experience being bullied, has worked extremely hard to get healthy physically and emotionally, and feels a very real responsibility to set a good example, I can't really NOT make my own stance known.

What you do with it is up to you but, as Martin Luther King Jr. said, "He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it."

PepeGreggerton

am I in the right thread?