Question for the ladies (or gentlemen)

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13

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  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    I guess I can't understand posting lots of pictures in your profile that show how pretty you are and then being creeped out by guys sort of hitting on you. I mean, you don't need to be providing them with personal information, but for them to send a message saying "hi" really isn't that creepy.
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
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    Seriously, perhaps you need to rethink your acceptance policy. Why accept them in the first place if a simple Hi sets off alarms?

    In addition, imagine the land mine guys walk through?

    If you send a request, send a message. Make sure you have the right ratio of males to females or you might look like a creep
    Make sure you have the RIGHT friends
    Don't send messages and try not to be overly friendly

    yeah. I prefer not to send friend requests. I also don't worry about that crap. I am an acquired taste and I don't want to blindside someone. I am who I am and I actually encourage people to delete me. Weeds the weak ones out.
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
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    i like to PM because chatting on someone's profile is a pain in the butt. However, msgs asking for personal details is sketchy.
    A PM that just says hi, undecided on that one. I wouldn't do that because it just sounds dreadfully boring.
  • T_R_A_V
    T_R_A_V Posts: 1,629 Member
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    No to mention, I bet after I have friended people, about 75% of them pm me and say thanks, hi, and their name

    Not like they ask for my last name, my ssn, and my first born lol

    But then again, I dont accept blank requests
  • jjblogs
    jjblogs Posts: 327 Member
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    Hi...don't mean to offend, but might be your pictures? Pretty sexy poses....you know how guys are...lol. Sometimes, the pictures I see on mfp make me wonder if people are actually looking for dates....just sayin'. Course, everyone wants to show their results. Problem is sometimes those results might bring out the pervs.
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
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    Hi...don't mean to offend, but might be your pictures? Pretty sexy poses....you know how guys are...lol. Sometimes, the pictures I see on mfp make me wonder if people are actually looking for dates....just sayin'. Course, everyone wants to show their results. Problem is sometimes those results might bring out the pervs.

    I bet there are guys who look at a profile of someone in a burkha who states she is blissfully married and has 72 children, but will still send a PM with something like "c'mon baby, show me an ankle"
  • jjblogs
    jjblogs Posts: 327 Member
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    Hi...don't mean to offend, but might be your pictures? Pretty sexy poses....you know how guys are...lol. Sometimes, the pictures I see on mfp make me wonder if people are actually looking for dates....just sayin'. Course, everyone wants to show their results. Problem is sometimes those results might bring out the pervs.

    I bet there are guys who look at a profile of someone in a burkha who states she is blissfully married and has 72 children, but will still send a PM with something like "c'mon baby, show me an ankle"

    rotflma....I'm thinking not, but one never knows with some men.
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
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    If it is literally just the word "Hi", then that would seem a little odd to me. A nice brief intro seems reasonable - "Hi, I'm John. Thanks for adding me.". i would be wary of requests for personal information, other than first name, right off the bat. That can wait until there has been a bit more interaction.
  • gerirojas
    gerirojas Posts: 101 Member
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    Get Rid
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
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    Hi...don't mean to offend, but might be your pictures? Pretty sexy poses....you know how guys are...lol. Sometimes, the pictures I see on mfp make me wonder if people are actually looking for dates....just sayin'. Course, everyone wants to show their results. Problem is sometimes those results might bring out the pervs.

    I bet there are guys who look at a profile of someone in a burkha who states she is blissfully married and has 72 children, but will still send a PM with something like "c'mon baby, show me an ankle"
    Thus the ankle fetish was created.
  • trooper605
    trooper605 Posts: 31 Member
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    Always go with your gut....plus the whole "woman’s intuition" thing.
  • allison0820
    allison0820 Posts: 325 Member
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    Stick with your gut.

    ^^^^^^^^This
  • Amber82479
    Amber82479 Posts: 629 Member
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    Stick with your gut.
  • erxkeel
    erxkeel Posts: 553 Member
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    alot of gut references... *ponders*
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
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    do whatever you feel comfortable. its not like you know this person. you are not required to reply or even be friends. that's why they have friend requests on here, so you can choose.
  • jahnlaw
    jahnlaw Posts: 95 Member
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    I'm glad to hear see this post. I had no idea a message with a friend request might offend someone or suggest anything more than than what was on the surface. I actually thought I was being polite to point out something we had in common if I had time, but I suppose that might be a generational thing about the changed definition of "friend." That said, I know that messages to some of you makes you feel uncomfortable. What's the harm of ignoring the message if you don't like it?
  • aamon17
    aamon17 Posts: 54 Member
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    If PMs from men creep you out, just block each male friend from being able to send you private messages. Simple.

    "Blocking a user prevents them from communicating with you. The blocked user will not be informed of the block. You simply won't receive any messages from them any longer."
  • AlSalzman
    AlSalzman Posts: 296 Member
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    -2 attractiveness points for the hot chick complaining about the attention that being hot gets her.

    Just talking a wild guess here... does your profile page have like, eight or ten pictures of you in skin-tight workout gear with a bared middrift? Maybe a couple of those over-the-shoulder cell-phone-in-the-bathroom mirror pics of your back muscles with only a tiny bikini top or no bra? None of that is by any means an invitation to "stalk," but it is enough to get the average guy interested enough to say "hi." heck, your current avatar would be enough for the 24-year-old, previously-unmarried version of me to say "hi" in a PM and maybe send a friend request. So if you've got a bunch of "progress pics" that are similar to your av then, well... yeah. Of course dudes will try to talk you up. Be gracious in deflecting their attentions and they will eventually turn elsewhere. Those that don't are behaving improperly and should be dealt with accordingly (alert the Moderators).

    MFP isn't a dating site and doesn't have dating profiles, but people are still people whereever you go (even on the internet). Just like in a bar or a coffeeshop, no one knows your boundares unless you establish them. In fact, it's harder to sense the limits on the 'net because there is no body language to read - avoiding eye contact, defiant posture, closed-off set of the shoulders, etc... I can't see that from my monitor. You have to post it in clear langauge if you want to establish a limit. If you lay out that you are in a relationship or aren't interested in contact beyond diet and fitness advice and they cross that line, by all means shut them down. If your profile doesn't establish that, well... you can't fault a guy for trying.
  • Hecnotha1
    Hecnotha1 Posts: 200
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    Lol. just dont add men.
    p.s. hoarding cats might be in your future(they arent intrusive freinds)
  • messyinthekitchen
    messyinthekitchen Posts: 662 Member
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    Always trust you gut. better to be safe then sorry. And unfriend the creep.

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