Totally hateful comments by extended family members...

supertracylynn

[sarcasm] Because running home and posting a rant on Mfp is the way to go.

Also, why tell him what you weigh if it's not his business?

sunshine421969

Sounds like he is jealous because you are wanting to do something about your health ..Now when you have lost your weight
(AND YOU WILL) he will be jealous of you again...Keep your head up girl ! You got this !! Explain to your children that it was not right for him to say the things he did and it was disrespectful of him.... by you walking away you showed who the better person :flowerforyou:

ryall70

This is supposed to be a SUPPORT group. She totally did the right thing to rant to people that might care instead of making a fool of herself to an idiot in front of her kids.
Lose it and prove he is an idiot, don't let that bring you down.

YassSpartan

I was informed a few minutes ago by my mother's husband that I would never lose the weight I'm trying to lose because of my age (31). Then he proceeds to ask me how much I weigh and then laugh maniacally that I weigh five pounds more than he does.

There are several things about this that piss me off:
1. We aren't close so he has NO business talking to me about how much I weigh...or how much weight I should lose.
3. These rude comments were made loudly and repeated for emphasis IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN.
4. I don't argue in front of my kids and I was so angry I just took my kids and left.
5. I'm not THAT old and I'm not THAT overweight.
6. He's 3 inches shorter than I am and I can guarantee that my body fat is probably lower than HIS!

Sometimes people totally suck. Sometimes family dynamics suck. What just makes me irate is that I didn't say anything. I know nothing I say would matter to him I just wish I had put him in his place.

K

No reason to argue with people who don't have a brain. I don't know you and I believe you can do it 100% so who cares what he says or think. Not to mention that's usually the reaction of people who envy you, your will, determination and desire to be successful. You do what you have to do, lose your weight, and when you reach your goal, visit him and say "what's up fatty" lol jk about this last part :bigsmile:

Usbornegal

Here are some assertive, self-affirming ways to respond:

1. Remember that you hold the trump card - the grandkids! Send your mom a sympathy card for being in such a relationship, and let her know that you are not going to expose your children to such a bully. Let her know that you will be setting up special tie with her, you and your kids every few weeks, without him around.

2. Whenever you think of him, remind yourself that you can change your weight, but he will always be an a**.

3. Take the stress and pain to the gym and run it off on the treadmill, you will feel better and reach your goal faster.

4. Refuse to let his juvenile, bullying attitude take up any more space in your life. Keep his mysery out of your life and HAVE FUN!

TracyMichelle24

Proving him wrong is going to feel so good!! Wow, 31 is too old? Who knew?!

becoming_a_new_me

[sarcasm] Because running home and posting a rant on Mfp is the way to go.

Also, why tell him what you weigh if it's not his business?

No need to be sarcastic or unsupportive. Really, why do people do this? If you don't agree, then either be constructive in your critism or sit on your hands until the rude feeling passes.

MissingMyOldSelf

[sarcasm] Because running home and posting a rant on Mfp is the way to go.

Also, why tell him what you weigh if it's not his business?

No need to be sarcastic or unsupportive. Really, why do people do this? If you don't agree, then either be constructive in your critism or sit on your hands until the rude feeling passes.

Agreed! Why even post if what you think will irritate someone???? How is that going to make things better???

perpetuallyfit

Actions speak louder than words!! Lose the weight girl and show him how wrong he is about you! You would be the one gaining from this. You were absolutely right in not stooping to his level. You were dignified!! He is a jerk!

Di3012

[sarcasm] Because running home and posting a rant on Mfp is the way to go.

Also, why tell him what you weigh if it's not his business?

No need to be sarcastic or unsupportive. Really, why do people do this? If you don't agree, then either be constructive in your critism or sit on your hands until the rude feeling passes.

I agree :flowerforyou: .

Those sorts of replies are happening ALL over forums on the internet at the moment. Nonsensical, sarcastic, ridiculous replies that quite frankly, belong nowhere except in the dustbin!

I don't know what is happening, but there appears to be a long, long string of postings all on different message boards that appear to be written by immature prepubescent individuals that serve no purpose whatsoever.

Not just on MFP but EVERYWHERE.. It is unnecessary and the perpetrators really need to sort out their anger before typing again!!!!!!

Di3012

Mean people suck!!! I feel your pain! I have completely hateful in-laws. I avoid conflict with them by avoiding them. I also get a little joy by knowing I'll be the one picking out their nursing home :blushing:

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA that is wrong on so many levels :laugh:

castadiva

Here are some assertive, self-affirming ways to respond:

1. Remember that you hold the trump card - the grandkids! Send your mom a sympathy card for being in such a relationship, and let her know that you are not going to expose your children to such a bully. Let her know that you will be setting up special tie with her, you and your kids every few weeks, without him around.

I'm sorry you had to experience that. I think this poster absolutely has the right idea, not just for you, but for your kids as well. Spending time around someone like your mother's husband gives them all the wrong messages about how to treat others, and also about weight-related issues. Do make an effort not to cut yourself off from your mother, but do also make it clear to her that her husband is not welcome around your kids unless his behaviour changes to that of an appropriate, respectful adult role-model.

AliciaStaton

Hi

You did the right thing by walking away, but it seems to me no matter what you would have said to me he would still be an idiot. You may be 5pounds more than he is, but the difference is your going to lose that weight because you have decided to do something about it.

Dont listern to negative people, they just try and bring you down, he sounds like he insecure and his mother needs to mind her own business

lesle1

You can lose the weight. I'm 51 in 9 days. I lost over a 100 pounds the last year and a half. I have hypothyroidism and am on Synthroid, I have 3 kids and grandkids. You just have to make up your mind and do it! Do something an hour a day... walking, jogging, something in the gym. Just get out there! It's worth it! You'll feel better then you have in years! Exercising and eating right makes you feel younger! Now if I can only find boots to fit my calves for that Catwoman costume I'm going to wear to that party... Running sure makes it hard to find boots that fit

kikislove2

Yes, I would have had to send the kids somewhere and put him in his place. I think he may be attracted to you and picking on you is his sick way of expressing it. I would talk to mom about her man and let her know that it would be appreciated if she would let him know to steer clear of me. Hopefully she takes your side and has your back on this.

sistergoddess

You did the right thing, best to get out of there before the situation deteriorated further.

My best piece of advice from this though, take a mental note of how he made you feel, and next time you are struggling for motivation to get to the gym etc, use it! Prove the fat little *kitten* wrong, then go back and kick his *kitten*! :P

This!!!!

Azriel829

Don't take what he says to heart. Consider the source, and keep in mind he's probably the type of person that belittles others to make himself feel better about his long list of imperfections. I have family members who also make comments about my weight, and family members who try and sabotage the dieting efforts of others while they fill the hole in their face. You're doing all that you are for you, not for them. People like that aren't worth wasting mental or emotional energy on them.

LorinaLynn

Bah... You're a young whippersnapper! You know you're going to do this.

But I would talk to your mother about how inappropriate it is for her husband to discuss such things with you.

EricMurano

Wow what a **** head! He deserves a punch in the ****!

csparon

The only thing I can say is consider the source. Take it with a grain of salt, you will do great just keep working at it and ignore what they say!

mizzdivat

You can SHOW him better than you can TELL him. LET'S GET IT GIRL!

cafren23

Totally obvious that he has issues about his body. He had to make you feel **** about yourself so that he could feel better. Ignore him. Do not answer anymore questions from him on anything remotely personal. Dont feel like you have to justify yourself to this ignoramous!! I am 31 and I KNOW that I am not too old too lose weight. Dont let him get you down. He's an idiot. Keep going with your diet. And think how satisfied you'll be in a few months. Chin up.

yager8725

You did the right thing, best to get out of there before the situation deteriorated further.

My best piece of advice from this though, take a mental note of how he made you feel, and next time you are struggling for motivation to get to the gym etc, use it! Prove the fat little *kitten* wrong, then go back and kick his *kitten*! :P

PERFECT!!!! now you know what he weighs and soon...very soon....you will weigh less!! hahaha

cryspetstalerson

This is why I am scared to death to meet my mother in law. Her husband ( not my husbands father but his stepfather) has made comments about my weight, when I was on Short term disability for a medical issue. He said " She can't get her fat *kitten* off the couch to go to work but yet when food is involved she can go out to eat" This hurt so bad, because at the time, it was hard for us to go out to eat. We would barely sit down and then have to leave right away because of the pain I was in.
What made this hurt even more is that his mother and step father are both bigger, and are on disability permanently. His sister has made comments too about me not working, when for the first part of our relationship, I was supporting him. We have done the math and if I work, all it will do is pay for daycare. Nothing more, even though I would get paid more than him, because I have a higher education, and more professional work experience. But, with my medical issues, it is harder for me to work. Even when I had a job, and would be put on Short term disability, I made more than he did. But his family saw me as lazy, and considered me not having a job.
His sister recently was on Short term disability, and both my husband and I held our tongues on saying anything to her lol. Sorry guess I am just venting, whenever I think about it, it stresses me out. I will be meeting them for the first time in Feb.

Nharley

I understand why you would not argue in front of your kids, but to say nothing to them about his rude and non supportive comments which were totally mean, is doing a great injustice to your children who witnessed his verbal attack. No matter how young they are, let them know that the reason you left was because you know you will loose weight and will not stand for such behavior from their grandpa. {{hugs}}

YOU WILL RELEASE those POUNDS! I'm living proof! :flowerforyou:

JoolieW68

You're 31? You're YOUNG! I just wish I was 31 again.... I'm 43 and look at me - I've now lost NINETY THREE pounds.

You took the high road, so kudos. Honestly I probably wouldn't have done as well as you - my mouth tends to say exactly what I'm thinking and I'm sure it would have started with an "F" and ended with a "you" (well, maybe not if my kids where there, but I would still have said something to stand up for myself in front of them - not that you did anything wrong by not saying anything).

YOU are worth it. He is not worth the dirt trapped in the tread of your workout shoes.

singingdeb

You really don't need his support. Look at this virtual family you have - in full support of your aims. You go for it girl.

PrincessLou2

Some people like to make themselves feel better by putting others down. You walked away with dignity in tact. Hold your head up and make yourself proud by losing the weight. He can then take his comments and shove them where the sun dont shine