Totally hateful comments by extended family members...

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  • harley0269
    harley0269 Posts: 384 Member
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    we can always lose the weight, but he will ALWAYS be a stupid fat-head!
    dont let it get to you.

    ps. know you will out live him. & then laugh maniacally :devil:
  • trudibus
    trudibus Posts: 27
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    You did the right thing, best to get out of there before the situation deteriorated further.

    My best piece of advice from this though, take a mental note of how he made you feel, and next time you are struggling for motivation to get to the gym etc, use it! Prove the fat little *kitten* wrong, then go back and kick his *kitten*! :P



    I soooo agree!!!
  • dad040859
    dad040859 Posts: 66
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    Please, please, PLEASE always remember - you are not doing this for anyone else, you are doing this for YOU. There will be comments galore from everyone. None of them matter, don't let a single word bother you. Don't let it piss you off, because then, they've won. Laugh in their face, if you have to (I've done it, it feels great!).
  • cjpg
    cjpg Posts: 433 Member
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    By you not saying anything makes you the more wise and considerate person.

    Yeah, who wants to be that person right? The 'understanding' and 'reasonable' and 'sane' person?

    You reacted the way that everyone should aspire to. You are a better person for it. Don't second-guess yourself.

    As for the hateful comments, I want you to think about how much words have the power to change your resolve. If the sounds that come out of people's mouths to form what we call 'speech' has an ability to change the person you are and who you want to become, then your resolve must be stronger.

    The journey is difficult but SO worth it. Things like this will happen. Don't let it control you.
  • vguynes
    vguynes Posts: 794 Member
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    YOU WILL LOSE THE WEIGHT! Your actions showed your children the RIGHT way to deal with negative people. Keep your head up!
  • ARDuBaie
    ARDuBaie Posts: 379 Member
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    He's fearful because if you loose the weight, it will make him look fat.

    My brother does this kind of crap to myself and my sisters. Yes, we are overweight, but so is he. Because he plays tennis from time to time, he feels he is in good shape.

    Don't let it get you down. Instead, use it to motivate you by saying to yourself, "I'll show him", every time you are reaching a point in your exercise when you want to quit. You bet I do that when I am hitting a wall with my brother. It is a real motivator. Use it to produce a positive result.
  • MissingMyOldSelf
    MissingMyOldSelf Posts: 689 Member
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    My father used to say this to me all of the time, but he was an alcoholic, who was 5'11' and 125lbs when he died. I would always just shrug my shoulders and say that I was happy being who I was, and when I was ready to lose the weight, I would.

    Too bad he isn't around to see my progress so far....

    It just really sucks that people have no decency sometimes. At my husband's birthday party that I threw for him almost 4 years ago, I was told I was "beautiful.... but fat" by a long-time friend's husband. I was shocked, my husband was shocked (he was within earshot), and my friend wasn't fazed by her husband's comment. Two days later on a Monday, I emailed her while she was at work and I let her know that I was a bit upset and pained that she didn't say anything afterwards. She simply replied back, "I'm sorry. (Husband's name) has told me that I shouldn't be associated with you, since you have low self esteem." WTF?!?!? Where did that crap come from??? So, I haven't spoken to her since.

    You just never know what will come from some people sometimes.....
  • loriannfoster
    loriannfoster Posts: 1
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    Wow!! Sounds like my dad!! How does he talk to your mother? You handled that VERY well!! Good for you. Your children saw you take the high road and keep your dignity, that's the most important thing. And what a good teaching moment to explain to your kids when you got home that a real loving, caring man does NOT talk to ANY woman like that, but especially one he is supposed to be in any kind of relationship with. Friendship or family or partner. Just horrible, I'm angry for you!!
  • Hoppymom
    Hoppymom Posts: 1,158 Member
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    I think that you did the right thing by just walking away. Your weightloss will shame him and you can wear it with pride. If it doesn't he has no clue.

    One of my biggest supporters on MFP is 61 and has lost 112 pounds. If she can you can. I can't tell you happy I am that my sisters/mom/borthers and husband and kids and in-laws have been so supportive of my weightloss. I am sorry that you haven't had that. Try to find the support you need here on MFP. Maybe you can avoid Mr. Toxic guy for a long time. Hugs
  • Mommiana
    Mommiana Posts: 7 Member
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    Some people will never be happy with themselves/their lives---that is really sad. You are doing the best thing for you, your heart and your kids! Keep moving forward :)
  • Jewel0124
    Jewel0124 Posts: 119 Member
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    Use your anger as a source of motivation. He sounds like a mean spirited A-hole. You took the high road and I'm sure your kids noticed. Keep your head up. :smile:
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    I agree with those who have said that you were right to take the high ground. While he was completely inappropriate and a complete jerk, you would have felt worse if you had stooped to his level.

    I feel sorry for your mom...at least you can leave but she has that dead weight around her all the time. If he is willing to put you - her daughter down in such a mean and vindictive way, I wonder what he says to her.

    On a side note, he probably hates his self-image so takes that poison out on others.
  • Rainy_Day
    Rainy_Day Posts: 1
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    That is terrible! You were the bigger person though. I know that doesn't make you feel any better. I HATE it when I figure out EXACTLY what I want to say and really dig in to someone oh, about 2 days later after I’ve stewed on it! ;)
  • AlmstHvn
    AlmstHvn Posts: 378 Member
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    I hope he treats your Mom ok. Doesn't seem like sensitivity and nurturing are his forte. Brutishness seems more his thing.

    You did well to leave. Hope you don't have to spend much time around him.

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  • soniaa777
    soniaa777 Posts: 126 Member
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    u get 5 pounds per inch taller you are than someone. and they dont know what they are talking about. just kno they are stupid and move on :)
  • bonnynblithe04
    bonnynblithe04 Posts: 123 Member
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    Hugs ... my father said the same thing. I too was 31 when I began my journey and I had a whole lot to lose. Good for you for taking the high road! I know you can do this!
  • blynn025
    blynn025 Posts: 1
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    I wouldn't even talk to him about this in the future. If he asks how much you weigh, tell him it's none of his business. What a jerk! It's better off just ignoring him. Get revenge by getting healthy!
  • Prometheus2
    Prometheus2 Posts: 1 Member
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    What did your mom say? Lose the weight for you and shutting him up will be an added bonus.

    Best of luck!
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
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    I'm 46, down 20lbs on MFP, 42lbs total. My wife is 42, down 38lbs since joining MFP. We have kept this weight off for two years. Let your actions speak where your words did not. Show them how wrong they are. Use their words as motivation!
  • dklw
    dklw Posts: 14 Member
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    You had no obligation to tell him your weight. I would have said "why do you want to know" and "that is an inappropriate question to ask me"

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