Boob Job and Tummy Tuck

Dexy_

So in passing today my partner mentioned that if he had the money he'd pay for me to get a boob job and a tummy tuck. When he saw my shocked/outraged face he THOUGHT he was saving his *kitten* by saying "Not to make your boobs bigger, but to make them not saggy anymore!" Gee.. I'm sorry I had pregnancies and I fed our two kids with them!

But that wasn't the annoying thing. Why is everyone so obsessed with surgically altering their bodies? I mean I'd love to have perky boobs and a flat-stretch-mark-free belly but my body is my own. It's earned its scars, sags and cellulite. How can I teach my children they are beautiful no matter what if I couldn't even live in my own body?

I feel like I must have gone crazy 'cause the whole world seems to think it's okay to get cosmetic surgery when all that's happened to your body is LIFE! (I can understand it completely in the instances where you've had an injury ect ect to be clear.)

smb0701

i agree.

mleoni092708

I think people should do whatever makes them happy and feel good about themselves.

teresaj0315

Preach it sister! hahaha

Chrisborro

Only surgery id opt for is when i lose my weight i want the belly flap cut off

skylark94

It's an entirely personal choice and really no one else's business.

I've had a modified tummy tuck to remove excess skin that was causing irritation after 2 close pregnancies. I also have a chin implant to help make up for an undersized lower jaw.

Would I get a breast lift? I'd love to, but I don't want to deal with the disruption it would cause to my workouts.

My surgeries have absolutely been worth it to me. I am physically and mentally more comfortable in my own skin now.

NYCDutchess

I think people should do whatever makes them happy and feel good about themselves.

Though I understand your point. To each his own.

Personally, if I had money I'd get work done...it would just make me feel better about me.

But noone should feel pressured to look a certain way either.

JustMichelleB

Wow, your husband is a jerk. It's one thing for YOU to want to surgically"alter" yourself, but for your husband to suggest it? I'd be hurt and seething!

dlaplume2

I know it's hard, but don't be mad. Maybe he thought you wanted it and with all the hard work your body has been through, maybe he thought you earned it. I think it's nice that he thought of giving you the money to spend on yourself. In his mind it might be like a spa day.

ladybug91254

I agree with 2010dutchess...whatever makes you feel good about yourself. I would have no issue have some things done if I had the money. I think you can go overboard just like anything else. But...to each their own.

CLotfy

I've voiced to my husband quite a few times that I would love a tummy tuck if we were ever rich and had lots of money. Being pregnant with twins destroyed my stomach. At 36 weeks I was measuring at about 55 weeks in size...I was massive despite only a 40lb weight gain. Now 19 months later I've dropped almost 60lbs and my waist is down to 37inches and I have SO MUCH stomach skin. That said, if my husband ever suggested I needed work done, he'd never get laid again.

erin_zuk

just curious - have you made comments in the past to him about how you're not happy with those parts? Maybe he just picked up on that and thought that saying that would make you happy.

I know that's what has happened in my case - I have complained about my loose tummy so many times to my parents now that they said they would pay for 50% of a tummy tuck when I am down to my goal weight and stay there for 6 months.

I can see it seeming like a jerk move on his part, but I'm sure he loves you and just wants you to be happy in your body

GlenWalterGal

In my 20's I used to be heavy, then I got pregnant and lost the weight (and the boobs..), later I got heavy again and my body filled out (boobs came back), now I want to lose weight and I know what will happen...boobs will go south again (gravity and all). I'm not quite sure how my husband feels about that, the interest level seems to have gone way down.

I'm afraid the "male animal" still has those instincts to look for "perky boobs" whatever age they are. I don't know if it's hard wired in them or if it's society (magazines etc). It's sad because we are who we are and our life is written on our body, we should be proud.

Feel good about yourself and too bad for the media and publicity that tell us we should all look like "Barbie dolls"....News flash guys: "Barbie"s not real and she could not stand by you everyday like your honey can".

seehawkmomma

So in passing today my partner mentioned that if he had the money he'd pay for me to get a boob job and a tummy tuck. When he saw my shocked/outraged face he THOUGHT he was saving his *kitten* by saying "Not to make your boobs bigger, but to make them not saggy anymore!" Gee.. I'm sorry I had pregnancies and I fed our two kids with them!

But that wasn't the annoying thing. Why is everyone so obsessed with surgically altering their bodies? I mean I'd love to have perky boobs and a flat-stretch-mark-free belly but my body is my own. It's earned its scars, sags and cellulite. How can I teach my children they are beautiful no matter what if I couldn't even live in my own body?

I feel like I must have gone crazy 'cause the whole world seems to think it's okay to get cosmetic surgery when all that's happened to your body is LIFE! (I can understand it completely in the instances where you've had an injury ect ect to be clear.)

You can tell him your still 18 and your should still have that "youth" like skin. Your body still has some adjusting to do after you have a child especially when breast feeding and having two children.

As far as teaching your children that they are beautiful start telling them their body is their temple as long as they treat it good and treat other good they will be both beautiful inside and out. Also let them know every chance you get how beatiful they are.
I tell my daughter every morning while we brush our teeth and get ready that she is the most beautiful girl in the world to me and how lucky I am to have her.

And to touch up on the surgery I think that even with surgery women are still beautiful. Some women who get tummy tucks get it because they have lost a lot of weight and have that extra skin they cant work off.

I know that this is cliche' but beauty can be seen from within. I know women who are "beautiful" but horrible people and therefore I think they ugliness comes out that no surgery could fix. And same goes with people who are ugly both inside and out.

So getting surgery doesnt make you less beautiful

suky424

Wow, your husband is a jerk. It's one thing for YOU to want to surgically"alter" yourself, but for your husband to suggest it? I'd be hurt and seething!

I agree ... and I wonder is he perfect in everyway ... maybe you should suggest some work for him!!!!!

icemaiden17_uk

A tummy tuck and boob shape are the only bits of work I would have done. I have saggy boobs and have done for a long time. I was measured incorrectly when I was young and because of this I wore the wrong size bra for a long time. This left me with stretched skin and boobs that wont stay in most bras. I hate this about myself and it causes me lots of confidence problems. So I would have my boobs shaped so that what is there fits better and points the right way. If, when I lose the weight I want to, I have loose skin around my stomach then I would want that removed to. Am I wrong to want to feel confident and comfortable in my skin? Is that not part of the reason we are all here in the first place?

I agree that your husband probably ment well but obviously didn't come off that way and that it must be a personal choice. If it is a choice you have made yourself or are dead against then you are entitaled to your opinion but we should all be able to do what makes us happy in our own bodies without fear of victimisation.

I wanted to add that I breastfed my 17month old daughter for 8 months and was massive when I was pregnant! I don't mind the strech marks I just dont want excess skin and I am still hoping my breasts will shrink a bit as I am still a 38G!

demhareis

Only surgery id opt for is when i lose my weight i want the belly flap cut off

Amen!

I was not fat as a child, but I always thought I was because I had this horrid little pot belly. HATED IT!! Got accused of being pregnant as a teen because of it. Never could fit into clothes and look nice because of it.

I consider it an aberration and as soon as I lose enough to achieve an ideal surgery weight, I'm getting the detestable thing removed.

And if by some chance I die before that happens, in my will there's a request that my horrid pot belly is cut from my corpse for I shall not be buried with it.

As for my breasts... meh. They've always been saggy and it's nothing a good bra can't fix. I'm happy to let them be.

lizzue

Everyone is an individual, some people are happy with having a natural body and some want surgery to help them.... Yes when it gets out of hand it can look bad but done right it can really help a person.

No shame in whatever someone wants to do.

mommypennylane

I think people should do whatever makes them happy and feel good about themselves.

agree

I want my kids to know it is their body. They should do whatever it takes to feel happy. They are beautiful and I tell them daily. If anything they are at risk of feeling too grand about themselves, I go on and on about how fabulous they are.

Its not just surgeries, which once I lose all my weight if I think surgery will make me happy I will do it in a heart beat, its everything. I had a nose ring once cause it made me happy, I wasnt born that way but I felt better w/ it. I have my ears pierced, I have 2 tattoos, I change my hair color. Every change you make is technically changing yourself. Rarely does someone go through life unaltered. You shouldn't assume just cause someone has surgery they dont think they are beautiful. I am fabulous on the inside and heck yes I have some great outside qualities as well but if my boobs disappear or i have a lil bit here or there that needs fixin' after i lose my weight, I am not wrong to have it fixed. Stop judging people and just love everyone for who they are/want to be.

alecta337

I took pictures of my ladies when I was 18 and I am going to get them redone like that when I am done having kids. I think that this is a good mid-ground, because its not like I want them bigger than what belongs on my body. I just want them to look like they used to.

I don't think its very nice for someone to tell you that you should get cosmetic surgery, but if you decide to do it for yourself and it makes you happy, I see no problem with it.

JustMichelleB

Oh goodness, I just saw that you are 18 and have a 4month old (and a 2.5yo). Sorry, but this makes your husband a bigger jerk, you are young, JUST had a baby (still plenty of time for things to snap back into place, especially given you are so young), and he's suggesting plastic surgery? Is this for real?

andrejjorje

Simple answer. It is a trend. Like cells and tablets. Sooner or later everybody that gets it contacts with them becomes "infected".It will pass.
In the other hand I can tell you how I see this like a man. He wants his piece to be the best of the best. Do you really blame him for that? Yes it should be also some rationality involved but hey there is always a middle way.

wickedcricket

I hear what you're saying but I wouldn't mind if my boobs were back on my chest where they belong - not bigger, NOT silicone, just up

tambink

I agree and disagree. I personally have never thought about having surgery to look better but now that I have lost alot of weight and still loosing I have thought about getting my flap cut off and a breast lift. I feel it is a persons choice and if it makes you feel good then go for it. I will only be able to do this when I have the funds so it will be a long time.

finding_my_way

surgery is an individual choice, and as long as it does not risk their health, I see nothing wrong with it. In a few years, I plan on having the twins lifted a bit and see nothing wrong with it. However, OP as you are only 18, I would say give your body a chance to mature just a little before you even consider it. I know that might sound condescending but truly your body is still changing and after having two kids, it needs some recovery time. Also, I assume hubby is young as well so try not to be too hard on him. Guys that age sometimes have a very skewed image of what the ideal body should be

LHSweeney

When we complain to men about things (including our body parts) they think it is their job to offer solutions. To them it isn't an insult but a suggestion.
If we tell them we are upset about a certain body part, it also gives then sort of a subconscious permission to think there is something wrong with us and that they too can talk about it.
They really need to educate themselves better about how to speak our language : )
Do what makes you happy and comfortable but IF you decide on ANY procedure, make sure you have done all the physical and nutritional work necessary so that it isn't a crutch but just the final adjustment to all your physical accomplishments.

JustMichelleB

Simple answer. It is a trend. Like cells and tablets. Sooner or later everybody that get it contacts with them gets "infected".It will pass.
In the other hand I can tell you how I see this like a man. He wants his piece to be the best of the best. Do you really blame him for that?

Ugh. This "piece" in question is 18 and just had a baby 4mo ago.

HorrorChix89

I think people should do whatever makes them happy and feel good about themselves.

^^^this

My mother suggested I get a tummy tuck and my ex is offering to pay full price for a boob job. I'm like HELLZ YEAH! But that's mean. Judge all you want, doesn't hurt me one bit

andrejjorje

I liked this part. It is the completion to my post.

When we complain to men about things (including our body parts) they think it is their job to offer solutions. To them it isn't an insult but a suggestion.
If we tell them we are upset about a certain body part, it also gives then sort of a subconscious permission to think there is something wrong with us and that they too can talk about it.

petergalvin

It is certianly each to their own.

I have lost over 100lb and I probably want to lose another 40lb. I am 90% certain that I will get my man boobs removed. I have a hang up about. I have had them since my teens. People would think nothing of walking upto me and grabbing them, making fun of them. Girls would say 'Oh I would love your boobs!' I found the reply of 'you are welcome to them' was the best response.

Anyone who loses weight will no doubt love to tuck a bit there, suck a bit here etc. So it is each to their own.

Good Luck!

AbbyCar

That would hurt my feelings as well. I, like you, don't necessarily believe in surgically altering my body. I have three children and two are girls. To me, it seems almost hypocritical to preach to them to love themselves as God made them and then to turn around and have surgery. However, I can also see why people do these things and more power to them, if that's what makes them feel good. It's just not for me.
I would explain to your hubby how that has hurt your feelings. I'm sure he wasn't thinking straight when he made the comment. Guys can be dumb sometimes!