Chubby Chaser or Truth? GF says enough already! stop losing

AnninStPaul

BMI is a good tool, but incomplete. What is your current body fat percentage? What would it be at your target weight, and would that be healthy for you?

Also, is 190 maintainable for you long term? Are you willing and able to make the trade-offs in terms of diet and exercise?

My goal puts me at the top of my healthy BMI range, at a weight I'd previously maintained for 5 years, and a reasonable body fat percentage. I am not willing to make the sacrifices necessary to get to the middle of the range, because I doubt I could maintain it long term.

deksgrl

My goal in losing isn't just to get skinny but to get off my medications. She wavered a bit when I told her that, but I don't think she was sold.

This is the sticking point. You aren't doing this for "how you look". You are doing it for health. I don't know why she is not supportive of that goal, but that is her issue, not yours. Do what you need to do so you can live a long, healthy life, without medications!

valerietoxii

First off, congrats on your weight loss! That's awesome!

Now. Oh man. Don't change your goals to keep someone else happy. Your health is much more important. It sounds to me, that she is just jealous and maybe even a little insecure about your weight loss. Who cares if she prefers heavy guys? You want to be healthy, yes? So do it. Maybe you'll break up, maybe you won't. But either way, you will be healthy and the only person who can take that away is you. In efforts to save your relationship, I think you need to sit her down and ask her to tell you what the real issues she has with your weight loss are. Go from there. Good luck!

neznarf0205

Wow what some great advise. I really appreciate and love this community. Here are my resolves:

* Don't get hung up on BMI

*Talk with my GF so she understands my goals and concerns and let her know I understand how she feels.

*Talk with my personal doctor and cardiologist (again) about my weight and lifestyle goals and see what they think.

*Start increasing my strength training now to keep my bigger body style but with muscle.

*Stick with my diet and exercise plan because I need to get healthy.

castadiva

Sounds like a great plan to me! Good luck!

JohnnyResets

Exactly what orpheus_chick said!! You're doing great anyway so keep to it!

frosty73

I can tell you exactly that she is projecting her own insecurities onto you!

she likes you big because she is bigger. you were her cheating partner.
she could eat what she wants & you wont say anything because you were the same way.

but now things are changing & she is scared.

She is scared that you will not find her attractive when you are fit & she isnt.
she is scared that you will be healthy & preach to her about being healthy & she is not ready for that.

you were her comfort zone.

if you get all thin & trim she wont be, it will be in the back of her mind that "jack sprat could eat no fat & his wife could eat no lean".

get it?

it will be in her head that other people are thinking "why is he with her? he could do so much better." blah blah blah

& if you get healthy & get off your meds, you won't need her anymore.

its not so much about you as it is her, in a subconscience way.

But then again, I could be totally wrong.

PS. get healthy, keep going, get off those meds! either she will come around or she wont. But thats on her, not you. Don't let someone elses insecurities stop you from being healthy & living longer.

I totally agree with this. It is very nerve-wracking as a woman when your SO starts losing weight, and the woman feels like she is being judged all the time for being a fattie. :^( It is possible that she likes you being a cuddly teddy bear, but I think the real reason is her own insecurity and unwillingness to change her own weight right now.

Please do what's best for your health! Unless your GF is extremely insecure, she will stick with you even as you lose more weight, especially if you reassure her that you love her no matter what (and is there a ring in in for her?) :^)

neznarf0205

We both have rings that we gave each other. I always kid that we are a domestic partnership and we will have a commitment ceremony someday. We both had problem spouses in previous marriages that ended early in 2008. Our divorces both were finalized in 2009. Since we are done having kids we have both agreed that marriage wouldn't be in our best interests. Sometime one of us will waiver and think about getting married but normally the other says no. Hopefully we never waiver at the same time. LOL She is my best friend and partner in crime, I can't imagine being without her.

Nopedotjpeg

BMI says i'm supposed to be 175-200 lbs. Yeah probably not gonna be doing that. Lol. Do what feels right for you though. Talk to her about it and bring up why she really is doing this. And if she really is a chubby chaser...ask her if she has any friends in Florida. Lewlz