FB Friends don't get it.

misskerouac

I posted this picture on my Facebook today


with the caption "This is what I'm striving for. It may take me years, and I may never get there fully, but I'm going to kick butt at the gym, run, lift weights, and feed my body all the healthy food and water it needs in hopes that I'll be this strong and confident one day."

BOY DID I GET CRAP FOR IT

I was told that if I didn't love myself the way I am now I won't when I look like that,b appearance has nothing to do with confidence, that I should be happy the way I am, there was even a comment "where are her organs" (i'm sorry but in my mind the girl in the picture looks "fit" to me, not so thin that she looks unhealthy, but maybe i'm wrong)

I'm sorry but when did wanting to be in shape and strong become "unhealthy"?

I am doing this by trying to eat healthy, drinking lots of water, seeing a personal trainer, and doing it OVER TIME. And it's not like I expect to look exactly like that. I just want to be lean with muscle definition.

I was really offended by the comment that I don't love myself. I am awesome, I like kick *kitten* music, I am smart, I am independent, I am a great wife, great sister, great daughter. I have awesome physical features that I love about myself, but I don't feel like me.

Don't tell me that I won't feel better about myself when i lose weight, that's BS. I weighed 30lbs less than I do now and I loved the way I looked. I could express myself through clothes how I wanted, I could do physical activity and not be out of breath in 2 minutes, and I would walk around buck naked in front of my husband with a smile on my face. I don't feel that way now, I don't feel like me anymore.

It's not like I'm starving myself or taking diet pills, or putting myself down, or HELL it's not even like i'm jumping on a fad diet.

I'm changing my lifestyle to get back the body I had (granted the picture above is not what I had) and improve on it.

*sigh*

End of rant

Galletakek

Mire's gon' mire hater's gon' hate jelly always gon' be jelly!


Do you mami! screw them! ;D

Alanakrahenbil

I keep anything about my weight loss and eating healthy off of facebook. Only a small handful of people know what I am doing. I don't need the negative comments!!
That girl looks fit and strong to me! I would love to look like that, but with my body shape, big boobs and all.

Mdin1029

They are haters. Well-meaning haters maybe, but I find that the same people who were quick to let me know that I looked like I had "gained a little weight" or needed to "lay of the carbs a little" are the same ones who have endless comments now that I am trying to eat in a healthy manner and work out regularly. And just like you said, I'm being HEALTHY not extreme. I think the person in the image looks fit as well (not too thin) to have that as a long term goal seems great to me. I know you can do it!

firesoforion

Yeah, I never talk about fitness to other people for that very reason. Who knows why, probably some combination of insecurity and trying to be helpful and just not knowing what to say. That's why I so appreciate this site, talking about it with relatively likeminded people. Of course you feel your best about yourself when you look like you want to. Isn't looking like the best version of yourself the ultimate loving yourself?

misskerouac

Phew! Thank goodness its not just me!

I just don't get it because a body like that is my goal...but like over the next 2 years of hard work and a healthy lifestyle.

And Alana, I have A cups lol, at 150 or at 180, I have no boobs. I think that's why I gravitate towards figures like hers because I want to look proportional.

misskerouac

Yeah, I appreciate my MFP folks more and more everyday through this journey.

sweet110

Yeah...people are just...people. Don't get too mad at them. Just understand what kind of support you can get from your FB friends (and offline friends), and what kind you can't. In my mind, that's part of the reason for MFP. Bring it here. Get support here. Share your fitness goals here.

FB will be there for FB things. Offline friends and family will be right where they've always been. And MFP will be here for help and motivation as you work on your health goals.

mimirenea

I have the same problem on FB. Only a handful are supportive but others can get judgemental. They mistake my happiness and motivation for being a show off and conceided. You continue with your goals ma. Its about pleasing yourself not others

BlondeLisa1

I have people warning me not to work too hard or that this much exercise could be unhealthy. (40 minutes a day, 6 days a week is NOT too much!) I bite my tongue because I know they are well intentioned but I want to ask them "Do you think exercise is less healthy or more work than living life as an obese person?"

I'm glad that there is a generally supportive community here at MFP.

ComeAroundSundown

That's a fabulous figure! I think I found my new ab inspiration :bigsmile:
................
People just don't get it. I know how you feel, and I've dealt with similar comments so I've decided to keep my goals to myself. I also think a lot of the comments aren't out of genuine concern, but jealousy. Some people are jealous of others who are motivated, strong, and willing to work to achieve great things. Even if these people are happy with the way they look, there's something about people who aspire to be greater (and have enough motivation to do so), that gets people jealous and worked up.
Keep doing what you do, and one day soon you'll be posting a picture up of yourself, showing that you've made it Good luck!

misskerouac

I knew you guys would understand.

And I'm not saying that the picture above is the goal for everyone, everybody has their preference. I like that body type, I think it's feminine but strong, but I think women that are curvy and bigger and women that are thin and small and everyone inbetween can be beautiful.

Erica002

Yeah, I don't say anything on FB!

Alanakrahenbil

I'm sure you look hot now and will feel hot when you get to your goal, don't let people stop you from achieving your goals! Screw Facebook!
And I have DD's! But I am breastfeeding so they will hopefully go down a bit once I'm done and then I will have a better idea of what I want to look like.

Galletakek

I knew you guys would understand.

I think it's feminine but strong, but I think women that are curvy and bigger and women that are thin and small and everyone inbetween can be beautiful.

agree ;D going for the same goal !

skygoddess86

I deleted my facebook two days ago. I feel like I have too much time, its disconcerting. I plan on giving it two weeks.

misskerouac

I have people warning me not to work too hard or that this much exercise could be unhealthy. (40 minutes a day, 6 days a week is NOT too much!) I bite my tongue because I know they are well intentioned but I want to ask them "Do you think exercise is less healthy or more work than living life as an obese person?"

I'm glad that there is a generally supportive community here at MFP.

Oh i know what you mean! I'm starting to get a cold, and I stopped in to see my mom at her work before heading to the gym and she was like "why don't you not go to the gym and just relax?" and I said "because I'm just going to go and walk on the treadmill, keep my routine going, I slept 10 hours last night" she didn't get it. She couldn't understand why I wasn't taking the opportunity to lay on the couch for 3 days doing nothing.

L2M1D52

Daaang, can I have her abs?! Yeah, I didn't get the memo that wanting to be healthy meant you didn't love yourself. It's actually the exact opposite. I don't post news about my weight loss/ exercise goals for that same reason. Even off facebook, if people knew what I was doing they would always say "What do you need to lose?" I always say panting when I'm walking up the stairs is NOT healthy or yes, my weight would be fine if I were your height but I'm only 5'1 and I'm not suppose to be this weight. Some people will never understand. That's why mfp has helped me so much. When you reach your goals, they'll be shutting up. LoL. Good luck!

misskerouac

I continue to seek out knowledge & learn new things, so to me it makes sense to want to improve my physical health as well as my mental health.

MMH86

I get a million times more support on this website from people I have NEVER met than I do on my FB from friends I see daily.. keep striving for your goal, let the haters hate. Goodluck! xo

misskerouac

I deleted my facebook two days ago. I feel like I have too much time, its disconcerting. I plan on giving it two weeks.

Lol yeah FB is annoyingly addicting.

denice0414

The girl in the pic has amazing abs and arms!!! Her body rocks!! Don't worry about them on facebook...We are here to support you !!
We understand your goals and what your striving for!! Good luck to you on your continued success!!!

Debbe2

I think it's a healthy goal and that you should continue to be proud in working towards it :flowerforyou: , FB friends may not be thinking fitness, health etc with every post they make the way MFP friends do.

becoming_a_new_me

I posted this picture on my Facebook today


with the caption "This is what I'm striving for. It may take me years, and I may never get there fully, but I'm going to kick butt at the gym, run, lift weights, and feed my body all the healthy food and water it needs in hopes that I'll be this strong and confident one day."

BOY DID I GET CRAP FOR IT

I was told that if I didn't love myself the way I am now I won't when I look like that,b appearance has nothing to do with confidence, that I should be happy the way I am, there was even a comment "where are her organs" (i'm sorry but in my mind the girl in the picture looks "fit" to me, not so thin that she looks unhealthy, but maybe i'm wrong)

I'm sorry but when did wanting to be in shape and strong become "unhealthy"?

I am doing this by trying to eat healthy, drinking lots of water, seeing a personal trainer, and doing it OVER TIME. And it's not like I expect to look exactly like that. I just want to be lean with muscle definition.

I was really offended by the comment that I don't love myself. I am awesome, I like kick *kitten* music, I am smart, I am independent, I am a great wife, great sister, great daughter. I have awesome physical features that I love about myself, but I don't feel like me.

Don't tell me that I won't feel better about myself when i lose weight, that's BS. I weighed 30lbs less than I do now and I loved the way I looked. I could express myself through clothes how I wanted, I could do physical activity and not be out of breath in 2 minutes, and I would walk around buck naked in front of my husband with a smile on my face. I don't feel that way now, I don't feel like me anymore.

It's not like I'm starving myself or taking diet pills, or putting myself down, or HELL it's not even like i'm jumping on a fad diet.

I'm changing my lifestyle to get back the body I had (granted the picture above is not what I had) and improve on it.

*sigh*

End of rant

I think that it's a great goal...it's not my ideal because my body is shaped different, but you should go for it! She has a beautiful, well-defined body.

I ended up starting a special group on FB from my friends who ARE supportive and have the same goals as me. We all post in the group so we don't have to deal with the "haters". It has been so encouraging that I rarely post in my main forum...just in the group and in here.

SkinnyBodyWithRonnie

I guess they thought that since the woman in the picture is so thin, they felt that you were trying to get "anorexic" or something of the sort. But she looks healthy to me. I see muscle and not ribs lol.

Kymmu

Perhaps a lot of your F.b. pals are jealous of your drive, determination and goals.
They may be afraid you might just get what you want. That makes them look slack ,lazy and without persistence. It's a " tall poppy thing, people can't wait to cut you down.....
Go for it and Show 'em all!!

yag1630

Don't listen to them, listen to yourself.

Part of being healthy is having a beautiful body and shape.

I believe everyone has the capability to make it happen.

It's just a matter of discipline. :happy:

misskerouac

I guess they thought that since the woman in the picture is so thin, they felt that you were trying to get "anorexic" or something of the sort. But she looks healthy to me. I see muscle and not ribs lol.

Yeah! That's what I don't get. I mean I've never wanted to be "thin" and I've always had a pretty healthy view of myself as a person so I thought it was weird that they would jump all over me. I think people mistake "toned" on girls for "skinny"

swordsmith

I underwent a weird experience with friends both on FB and in person. At the beginning of my weight loss journey everyone was uber supportive even when I said a far away goal was to look like this person or do something that X has done.

Then I lost 70 pounds and really hit the gym. I have started to define and tone and have actual biceps when at rest- under whats left of my belly fat I can feel some pretty hard abs! Well this is when people really turned nasty- "you shouldnt lose more weight" "WHy do you hate yourself so much- love who you are" etc right down to people trying to tear me down via communication and actions (i.e. it was amazing all of a sudden how many people wanted to offer me candy, cookies, etc).

RIght now I can say I lost about 6 "friends"- all who are heavy. 5 dropped me and one I dropped as I could no longer take the moaning emotional vampire he engendered whenever we met - constant put downs and attempts to sabotage me. Now I have a pretty good core of friends who celebrate my goal attainment and dont give me **** over my battle against my weight.

I would be ruthless and chop out the haters- especially if they are ONLY FB friends who I have found to be some of the most shallow people out there. If you only know them from FB and all they do is go negative then merrily defriend them and call it good.

knight76306

I understand all too completely. Mine isn't facebook though, it people around me. Only a few understand "the body building thing" and very few understand the weight loss thing at all. Most people just don't get it, don't want to get or really don't understand. I used to weigh over 250 pounds. They all think once I got to my goal weight it was over. NOT! I still have goals I aspire to, have pictures on my wall at work - they just don't see the "need". For me it isn't only the way I look, but the way I feel and the things I can do.

mauigyrl

That is a great motivational picture. Don't we all wish to have tight abs like that. I keep most of my weighloss etc here on mfp. Only info that dribbles in fb is when I workout and it tells you what you did and how much calories you burned. If working out 7 days a week is what you do then it's all good. It's a great stress reliever too. Do what you do bc it's all about self improvement.