FB Friends don't get it.

reneepugh

I haven't been on facebook in months. Most everyone on MFP have pertinent things to say on the feeds. It seems to me that every time someone goes to the bathroom or sneezes I see a post about it. Honestly, it irritates me. On MFP, we motivate, encourage and listen every day for a reason. I feel like when I see the friends I have on Facebook in person or talk to them on the phone, we have nothing to talk about because I already know everything about them! I know people will probably shutter when I say this but.....Goodbye Facebook!

GC131618

I completely understand! That is why I have made it a point to not go on that site anymore. Living a healthier lifestyle and focusing on family have become more important to me. Sitting on FB all day just wasnt helping achieve any goals in those two categories. Plus hearing that I look "fine for having 3 kids" if I mentioned weight loss. I dont want to look "fine for having 3 kids." I want to look amazing and healthy, and I want to feel that 100%. I felt like I was bothering others by talking about working out, so I much prefer this site for the support I want. I log onto this site daily. I have logged into FB MAYBE 4 times in the last 2 weeks. Dont listen to others, do what is good for yourself as long as you feel great.

shelby11294

WOW, that right there is why I deleted my Facebook the other day until I reach my goal. I've got 25 lbs to go and It will probably take 3 months. Then after, I hope to get hella fit like this girl in that picture! SWEET!

Facebook is drama...
I deleted it also because I posted something about me wanting to lose 20 pounds and people freaked out.. I'm 150 and 5'5. It's mainly in my theighs... I'm not ok with myself, it's not what others think too right? So not cool! I also kinda laied off my boyfriend because I was getting pissed at his comments... it's his birthday today, and we haven't talked all day... great that's over! POOOOPPP.

I'll shut up ;-)

shelby11294

SO true!

misskerouac

Thanks again guys!
Yeah I'm starting to not go on FB as much.

And I'm really glad I'm not insane for thinking that girl is fit! If everyone on here thought she was too thin I was really going to have to start questioning my perception of body image lol.

misskerouac

WOW, that right there is why I deleted my Facebook the other day until I reach my goal. I've got 25 lbs to go and It will probably take 3 months. Then after, I hope to get hella fit like this girl in that picture! SWEET!

Facebook is drama...
I deleted it also because I posted something about me wanting to lose 20 pounds and people freaked out.. I'm 150 and 5'5. It's mainly in my theighs... I'm not ok with myself, it's not what others think too right? So not cool! I also kinda laied off my boyfriend because I was getting pissed at his comments... it's his birthday today, and we haven't talked all day... great that's over! POOOOPPP.

I'll shut up ;-)

My husband is supportive of whatever I want to do with my body. If I want to stay where I am, he's fine. If I want to get healthier, he supports me.

Recently though he told me it was probably smart I get healthier as every one of my aunt and uncles has died from cancer or has cancer so it seems it's time for me to get my body it's the best state it can be in incase, god forbid, I have to face something one day.

ShrinkRapt451

I have people warning me not to work too hard or that this much exercise could be unhealthy. (40 minutes a day, 6 days a week is NOT too much!) I bite my tongue because I know they are well intentioned but I want to ask them "Do you think exercise is less healthy or more work than living life as an obese person?"

I'm glad that there is a generally supportive community here at MFP.

Tell them to "Get a farm. No, a real one, not a FB one. Go work on your farm. Then, in 6 months, you can tell me if you think 40 minutes of working out, 6 days a week, is too much."

HeidiMightyRawr

She looks awesome!! Definitely not too thin, or unattainable in my opinion.

I hardly ever go on FB anymore apart from to chat to a friends that aren't on here. Plus most people do all the invites to stuff on there. Other than that I'm logged in then out probably within 5 minutes!
MFP on the other hand, I'm here on and off all day long! So much better than FB and most of the people here are supportive of your goals

Diggy2011

Lmao I'm jealous she looks super toned I've had 3 kids but my hips were that size once lol good luck with your journey and just remember its YOUR goal not theirs x

slimmerchick

Perhaps a lot of your F.b. pals are jealous of your drive, determination and goals.
They may be afraid you might just get what you want. That makes them look slack ,lazy and without persistence. It's a " tall poppy thing, people can't wait to cut you down.....
Go for it and Show 'em all!!

this is what I was going to say - pure jealousy - they don't have the motivation. I got it a lot when I started looking thinner - ooh you're looking good but don't lose any more etc .....

I think she looks great and I'd love to have a body like that!

skyeashlee

Aloha! :O)
Judging by your pics you already have a wonderful figure.!!.. and I personally feel that chica in the pic is ridiculously skinny (and toned to be fair!!!) If you don't feel like you, then maybe there is a part of you that you're not loving?? I am battling this extra weight and want to feel exactly as you mention in your post (confident, being able to express oneself in clothes comfortably etc oh and of course waling around my fiance naked with a big smile hehe), so can completely relate there :O)... maybe this post needs to be written under your FB comments too ?? or you wrote a msg mis-communicating that the pic is for motivation not what you want to be like... dalai lama believes no matter what shape or form we are in we should accept ourselves as we are and thats a good frame of mind to have, but to get there you have to be in a healthy fit shape 'your body is your temple, and healthy mind = health body' ..... But moral of my two scents here, you already look amazing and maybe that's what raised the comments from your friends who know you? ..... dont get too bothered by it, they just care for you im sure !!! best of luck on reaching your goal ... live.love.laugh....skye xx

I posted this picture on my Facebook today


with the caption "This is what I'm striving for. It may take me years, and I may never get there fully, but I'm going to kick butt at the gym, run, lift weights, and feed my body all the healthy food and water it needs in hopes that I'll be this strong and confident one day."

BOY DID I GET CRAP FOR IT

I was told that if I didn't love myself the way I am now I won't when I look like that,b appearance has nothing to do with confidence, that I should be happy the way I am, there was even a comment "where are her organs" (i'm sorry but in my mind the girl in the picture looks "fit" to me, not so thin that she looks unhealthy, but maybe i'm wrong)

I'm sorry but when did wanting to be in shape and strong become "unhealthy"?

I am doing this by trying to eat healthy, drinking lots of water, seeing a personal trainer, and doing it OVER TIME. And it's not like I expect to look exactly like that. I just want to be lean with muscle definition.

I was really offended by the comment that I don't love myself. I am awesome, I like kick *kitten* music, I am smart, I am independent, I am a great wife, great sister, great daughter. I have awesome physical features that I love about myself, but I don't feel like me.

Don't tell me that I won't feel better about myself when i lose weight, that's BS. I weighed 30lbs less than I do now and I loved the way I looked. I could express myself through clothes how I wanted, I could do physical activity and not be out of breath in 2 minutes, and I would walk around buck naked in front of my husband with a smile on my face. I don't feel that way now, I don't feel like me anymore.

It's not like I'm starving myself or taking diet pills, or putting myself down, or HELL it's not even like i'm jumping on a fad diet.

I'm changing my lifestyle to get back the body I had (granted the picture above is not what I had) and improve on it.

*sigh*

End of rant

Siannah

Didn't read the other replies yet, will do in a minute, but keep the dieting to yourself. Don't bother other people with it, it's not interesting to them. I'm not telling anyone and even when they ask me how did I lose the weight (lost a couple of dress sizes last year), I keep it really vague. Just keep this for MFP, at least here you'll find people in the same mind-set.

Compare it to new-mothers, who post about every little fart of their new offspring on FB. It's just boring. :bigsmile:

KharismaticKayteh

You should copy all of this rant and post it on Facebook.

Honestly, I don't post about my weight loss efforts because I don't want to hear *anything* from them about it. I don't want to hear, "You don't need to lose weight," especially when I'm only trying to lose ten pounds. I don't want to hear, "You're beautiful just the way you are~!" That's nice, but you don't need to flatter me. I'm not going to be anorexic. I just want to lose ten fawkin' pounds. No big deal.

Sorry, you started a rant within myself, hahaha.

shakybabe

I was excited to lose weight and posted it on Facebook when I was just a little over the 10st mark on wii fit and only a few pounds to go to be 9st something for first time in over 16 year.. I was disappointed I didn't get much encouragement from the people I considered to be my best friends.

Another one was contacting me privately after seeing weight loss 'oh, thats a lot to lose, are you going to be losing much more' and end up avoiding chats with her as she wants to know if I've done exercise on top of housework and what I've eaten!

I don't consider it that much.. I'm in healthy range now as I was 2 stone overweight but I'd like to be another 12lbs lighter if possible, my body doesn't seem to want to go under 10st though! That's why I haven't joined the Facebook group on MFP so my friends can't see all comments, I prefer to keep it seperate as I'm not getting the support I wanted or expected from them!

monkeymouse74

Your success is a mirror to their own failures, this is really uncomfortable for most "frenemys", and they lash out with sabotage and negative comments.

Cut the cancerous friendships out your life before they can take hold, and surround yourself with the friends who support you in attaining your goals. like the people here on mfp.

I am lucky that 90% of my friends are super fit (all Triathletes. including their children!) And we ALL support eachothers goals. I am in the beginning of my journey, and I have them all cheering me on. holding me accountable and doing all they can to help me in reaching my goals. I went to watch my friends all compete in a triathlon today and after they completed and the kids had finnished theirs as well, I had one friend offer to come swim with me today (which she did) and another give me his nutritionast's number. And yet another brought a book that helped him with his training. and another asked me if I needed help setting goals to compete. I dont put any info re my weightloss on FB, the responses are destuctive and not helpfull.

And your goal picture is fantastic! How would you reach that goal without visualising it through the picture and striving to reach it! It would be like driving a car and not having a destination. You'd get lost in the side streets! :flowerforyou:

Articeluvsmemphis

facebook, it's the pits, lol. . . I keep all my health ventures here, with the exception of a random "check in" post about being at the gym, that's it , and the 1 new profile picture I uploaded(regular head shot), that showed my progress

chrisdavey

I would say about 90% of my FB friends are the overweight, unfit, alcoholic "I'll start my diet tomorrow" type.

Sounds like yours are too.

ugw125

Mire's gon' mire hater's gon' hate jelly always gon' be jelly!


Do you mami! screw them! ;D

EXACTLY GIRL!

gammybear

You gotta do what you need to do for you- maybe their just jealous because they don't have the willpower or motivation to get up off the couch and get what they want. Good Luck- you'll know when your happy with the way you look- not how they want you to look.

natashamcn

I've had the same experience, the people closest to me seem to be the least supportive. I've had a lot of the "but you don't need to lose any weight" comments. It's about being healthy, cutting the junk out and getting fit. Just because you are not overweight does not mean it is wrong to want to work on yourself. For the record I love myself too. I've stopped talking about it to those who don't seem to want to support me. Screw the haters! lol

SkinnyGirlFatBody

I've only ever told one person that I'm losing weight. I find people just don't understand what we are going through. Especially if they have never been overweight their entire life they don't understand how hard it is or they will tell you that it looks like you've lost too much when really you are no where close to a healthy goal.

RoughDiamondUK

I have never posted on social media about losing weight. The way I figure, I got myself into the state I did without posting about it all over Facebook, so I'll get myself out of it without posting all over Facebook. I have friends and "friends" on Facebook who do post about their weight loss attempts, some to the point where it becomes annoying... but I've never seen anyone post anything negative to any of them, it seems that people are either supportive or keep their mouths shut. If the people on your friends list can't even keep their mouths shut, instead of being supportive, then I'd question why you're keeping them around on Facebook. Making lifestyle changes is hard enough as it is without so-called friends trying to put you down. Ignore them and keep on with what YOU know is right!

junkfood_addict

I'm in the same boat, I have a cups no matter my weight. And when I saw that picture, the first thing I saw were "woah abs!" ... not some gaunt twiggy model type. So yeah, good healthy goal! My goal is to lose weight, not because I'm crazy overweight, but because I'm super weak and have NOOOO tone! you're goal is my goal and very few people outside of this site understand that. In my opinion I think people knock our efforts b/c its they see what we're doing and they're not doing it. They're probably a bit jealous. I would take their comments with a grain of salt Seems like the people here get ya.

slacker80

DITTO!!

Funny how because of my present strong interest in health, I pay far more attention to MFP over FB. Always drama on FB. FB is just really awsome to have on the side for thoes now and than keep in contact occasions. However I need to have my daily dose of MFP. Everybody is a stranger and many have become good pen pals. It's always motivated and positive around here, with much interest on most of the general conversations, and it's also interesting watching people hit their goals.

pg1girl

People just don't get it. Your goals are "your". You can achieve anything you want with hard work and determination. Others just don't want to put in the work so discourage instead of support!

misskerouac

You guys are so awesome. For those few people that suggested I post a response on FB, I did post a big long reply to those negative comments yesterday before I posted here. And I guess that's kind of what inspired this thread.

I think you are all right. I need to remember that my goal is for me, and to me, that is what I want. It may take me 2 years to get there, but it's a healthy goal.

misskerouac

Aloha! :O)
Judging by your pics you already have a wonderful figure.!!.. and I personally feel that chica in the pic is ridiculously skinny (and toned to be fair!!!) If you don't feel like you, then maybe there is a part of you that you're not loving?? I am battling this extra weight and want to feel exactly as you mention in your post (confident, being able to express oneself in clothes comfortably etc oh and of course waling around my fiance naked with a big smile hehe), so can completely relate there :O)... maybe this post needs to be written under your FB comments too ?? or you wrote a msg mis-communicating that the pic is for motivation not what you want to be like... dalai lama believes no matter what shape or form we are in we should accept ourselves as we are and thats a good frame of mind to have, but to get there you have to be in a healthy fit shape 'your body is your temple, and healthy mind = health body' ..... But moral of my two scents here, you already look amazing and maybe that's what raised the comments from your friends who know you? ..... dont get too bothered by it, they just care for you im sure !!! best of luck on reaching your goal ... live.love.laugh....skye xx

Here's the thing I have always been VERY good and dressing my body to flatter it. That doesn't mean I don't have rolls, and that awful indent in my thighs a few inches under my butt so if I wear pants too tight I have a double bum, or that my torso is a size medium but I need a large because my arms are too hubby for a medium. As I said before, I do love myself. I love myself and want myself to be the best version of me

TimeToDoMe87

Facebook is SO last year Plus you don't get all the "support" like you would here on MFP!

Chass_C

You cant worry bout what ppl on FB think over half everyone on FB are over weight and dont have lives of their own. and of course ppl are goin to be jelly and say negative things its a test of how bad you want something and in your case how bad you wanna be fit take the negative comments n turn it into fuel to add to your fire n work that much harder for what you want. you can do it and i think your gonna look great not sayin you dont already. But I'm striving for that well toned body myself.

brewface811

Nope they really don't get it. I actually had my cousin tell me I need to stop posting stuff on facebook about my weight loss because I'm just trying to make her feel bad about herself because she isn't losing weight. I was like hmm not really trying to make you feel bad, infact you should be happy for me for getting healthier and working out. Instead she was a sourpuss and told me I need to think about what I post before I post it because I might make her ED come back.