Does anyone have family members who are NOT SUPPORTIVE?

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Rockontoothpicks
Rockontoothpicks Posts: 34
in Motivation and Support
:explode:

I have recently joined this site and I am loving it. It has taught me how to count calories and restrict a lot of bad food....HOWEVER my mother is always over my shoulder saying comments like
"You don't need to read the ingredients of everything." & "You can cheat every week" and so on.
I try not to say anything but it bugs me that she is so negative about what is actually working for me. I have lost 10 pounds so far and feel confident I can reach my goals thinks to this site and the support of my girlfriend who is also on the site but I am just disappointed in the negativity.
Does anyone else have this problem?
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Replies

  • lovinmysoldier
    lovinmysoldier Posts: 156 Member
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    Currently, no I don't have this issue. I live 2 states away from my parents. With that said at Christmas while I was visiting your mom sounds very familiar to me. In my case though I only see them once or twice a year so I keep my mouth shut. In your situation, it really depends on how you think your mom would respond but I would try to really talk with her. Not just in passing, like a serious, Mom we've got to talk, kind of talk. Tell her your goals and you respect the fact that she doesn't agree with how you are doing it but this is what you need to do right now for you. You could be doing a heck of alot worse things! With that said, I wouldn't bring it up around her and just make it something you both agree to not talk about. Hope this provides at least a little help. Don't let her negativity determine your outcome, you have to make the decision that is best for you. BEST OF LUCK!!
  • fetchfury
    fetchfury Posts: 84 Member
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    Yea I have that problem, my dad is north african and all my family over there are big, curvy girls, the 'way they should be'. but they eat so much as thats how they socialise is eating together AAAAALLLLLLL the time.
    so my dad reckons my goal of 135 is ridiculous and is angry at me for trying, but hey, its not his fault its just the culture he's grown up in.
  • Pollyfleming
    Pollyfleming Posts: 147 Member
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    yes, and it's a tough one! I agree with talking to your mom. I'm a mom and I know I tend to harp on things with my kids. I don't want to make their decisions for them but I repeat stuff because I feel like they've not gotten my message! Sit your mom down and tell her that you've heard her, that you understand that what she's saying comes from love, and then kindly ask her to stop bothering you about it. I hope it works! Good luck!
  • CuppycakeKaren
    CuppycakeKaren Posts: 31 Member
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    I understand what you are going through....to certain people - often moms - food equals love. In generations past, we all sat around the table at meals, and that was our time to share our day, and be together as a family. We may not have had much else, but Momma always made big meals. I catch myself doing that myself when my kids and their spouses come for a family dinner. I make way too much food, and want to stuff them full to the brim before they leave!! Somewhere in the back of my head this is how I show them I love them, because they are all grown up now, and don't crawl up on my lap like they did as children.
    My advice?? Tell your mom that it is important to you to make some healthy changes in your life because you want to live a long, productive and healthy life.If it was my momma, I would throw in - so I can take care of you some day. Moms want their babies to have the best life possible..and maybe if you put it that way she will understand.
    P.S. don't forget to give her a big hug and thank her for understanding!!
  • nitterlyn
    nitterlyn Posts: 21 Member
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    Is your mom overweight? Maybe it brings up feelings for her. Sometimes it is hard to see others doing things you wish you could do. Also if your from a family where everything revolves around food it is hard. It is almost like an alcoholic going to the bar and telling everyone they're not drinking anymore because its not good for them. We live in a world where food is involved in everything. Not to mention if your mom is a good cook and shows her love in that way....it just makes it hard. I know she probably wants the best for you...just give her time and try to have a talk with her (if you have that kind of relationship).
  • Lona728
    Lona728 Posts: 105
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    My husband has not been the most supportive in the past. As soon as I would tell him, I want to lose weight and adopt a healthy eating lifestyle he would start bringing home my favorite "bad" foods, coke, etc. This time around when he brought home stuff I shouldn't be eating I had a long talk with him about him sabotaging me every chance he gets. So, now he is doing better. Good luck with your mom. It's too bad that the people closest to us, can't all support us on this journey.
  • themadisons513
    themadisons513 Posts: 34
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    I know its hard to be around someone who isn't as supportive as you would like. But I think part of this journey is learning how to deal with our surroundings and temptations. I know you have a fantastic support system with your girlfriend ;) You are already doing great and I think eventually if you stick to your guns it will just catch on that maybe your not going back to your old habits and she will stop being so negative. Keep up the awesome work your doing GREAT!
  • kammy92
    kammy92 Posts: 408 Member
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    It's not that people are not supportive, it's just they think I'm crazy,weighing food and what not! My husband doesn't disagree with me but he doesn't follow my way of eating and my friends say that I look fine, I don't need to lose weight. My family lives about 10 min away from me and they are supportive, they know it's just a heathier way of eating and taking care of myself........
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
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    Ignore Ignore Ignore. Keep up the good work. Maybe include your mom in making a few healthy meals.
  • x_biggirl
    x_biggirl Posts: 68
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    Yea I have that problem, my dad is north african and all my family over there are big, curvy girls, the 'way they should be'. but they eat so much as thats how they socialise is eating together AAAAALLLLLLL the time.
    so my dad reckons my goal of 135 is ridiculous and is angry at me for trying, but hey, its not his fault its just the culture he's grown up in.

    This post is similar to mine, my mother keeps telling me that my bones are to big and carrying a weight of 130 pounds is not enough. I am lucky as she lives in canada, but when i told her about starting this journey she completely dismissed it.
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
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    Yes, I get the same action from my mom and 1 of my sisters and a few other people in my life. All I will state is this, not one of those people is less than 50 lbs over weight, need I say more? :tongue:
  • cuteness81104
    cuteness81104 Posts: 131 Member
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    My husband is not at all supportive. I like to eat healthy whole foods and loads of veggies, its what I like to eat. He does not like healthy foods at all and hates that I take time out in the day for me to workout. Its hard because the kids will eat healthy with me but he is just obnoxious. To top it off he is naturally skinny and can eat whatever he wants, and hes had bloodwork done multiple times and all his values are perfect so he doesnt see the point in eating healthy. I wish he wouldnt give me so much grief about working out and eating what I like. He likes how I look doesnt see an issue but for me I want to be back to what I was befire the kids. I want t feel comfortable in my clothes.
  • purple_doodles
    purple_doodles Posts: 3
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    Yes my mom is always telling me that I don't need to diet or lose weight! But I don't listen to her much because after all it is my life. She says if I lose any weight I'll be a skeleton. Easy for her to say she's not overweight xD
  • rugbyphreak
    rugbyphreak Posts: 509 Member
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    my mother is the only part of my family that is supportive. my brothers and father think it's a joke. even my boyfriend is much less than supportive.

    my only advice is to work harder and ignore them. show them all up!

    YOU CAN DO THIS!
  • denise_earheart
    denise_earheart Posts: 354
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    I don't have any family so I guess the same thing as having no support. my boyfriend wants me to stay fat so that makes everything harder plus I live in a new state and don't have many friends sooooo on that note.. I have no one at all really..... :-/
  • Monicapierce
    Monicapierce Posts: 126 Member
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    The only supportive people I have are on this site. My husband is the worst, I tell him Im hungry he says lets go eat, he asks for junk food all the time (he is naturally skinny) and always says whats the point of losing weight if your not happy in the process? Gets old!
  • Mommy_Sans_The_Fat
    Mommy_Sans_The_Fat Posts: 50
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    Yep! My DF is always saying I don't need to lose weight and he loves me for me. That's all fine and dandy but you're what? 160 soaking wet? I'm every bit of 222 and only 5'3". Thanks but no thanks hun. Love you too......Smh.
  • petreebird
    petreebird Posts: 344 Member
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    I wouldn't say my family is not supportive, my fiance tells me that he loves me the way I am and if I want to get in better shape, that's great!! He just wants me to be happy.

    That said. Occasionally he will go to McDonalds with myself and my son. Problem is, my fiance is 8 years younger than I am and has an active job. My son is a wrestler and works out 6 days a week, 5 on average throughout the year. They can both pretty much eat whatever they want and don't have to worry about the scale. Heck my son can lose 2 to 3 pounds a day during the season during a practice, and wrestlers are always trying to "cut weight" for weigh ins.

    But I respect both of them as they do me. If we go out to eat, I suggest Subway, which we all love. Or if we do go to McDonalds I try to get grilled chicken and ultimately make it work for my calories for the day. It's all about my choices. I am the only one who cooks in the house so homecooked meals are general pretty healthy.

    They do get a bit concerned when I get on here and say, ohh I can't have pizza tonight sorry. They both think I am being to restrictive as I don't really have much weight to lose, my main goal is toning and inches. But at the same time, when I say, "I don't feel like doing my workout today." They both encourage me to get off my butt!!

    So its a wash I think. :happy:
  • denise_earheart
    denise_earheart Posts: 354
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    The only supportive people I have are on this site. My husband is the worst, I tell him Im hungry he says lets go eat, he asks for junk food all the time (he is naturally skinny) and always says whats the point of losing weight if your not happy in the process? Gets old!

    same problems here!!!!!!!!
  • cuteness81104
    cuteness81104 Posts: 131 Member
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    The only supportive people I have are on this site. My husband is the worst, I tell him Im hungry he says lets go eat, he asks for junk food all the time (he is naturally skinny) and always says whats the point of losing weight if your not happy in the process? Gets old!

    wow sounds like my husband

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