Son got a speed ticket

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  • speedyf
    speedyf Posts: 1,571 Member
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    I think if you make him go to court and attend the defensive driver course that is punishment enough he was honest. If he attends the course I do not think they will give him any points on his driver licenses or make him pay. Whatever, you do please do not be to hard he seem to be a good kid.

    He's a good kid. He's very responsible and has been working part time for the last 3 years, and he goes to school as well.
    I was thinking about taking away his car for a week, and let him drive under my supervision for another week maybe :huh: I know he wouldn't be happy see me sitting next to him, :laugh:
  • live4turns
    live4turns Posts: 314 Member
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    I agree with badgerbadger1. People that criticize yet offer no solutions lack credibility. Speed limits are probably the best available solution to the issue of road safety.
  • numee2012
    numee2012 Posts: 39
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    hi its a bit hard as i dont know your son but you could maybe ask him what he thinks you should do after all he may be in your position one day and that way if you and he agree on the consequences then there should be little fuss involved after wards and hopefully he will learn. i would be proud that he was honest enough to tell you straight away good luck
  • acasey0123
    acasey0123 Posts: 640 Member
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    he pays ticket and i wouldnt take away the car for awhile since if he wants to be treated like an adult then if he speeds again and gets caught then the police will be after that
  • strapple
    strapple Posts: 353 Member
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    I think you should let the law handle it. He's already been punished in the form of having to pay a ticket with his own money. Hopefully he learns his lesson from that.
  • speedyf
    speedyf Posts: 1,571 Member
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    I too type 95 plus words a minute.... do you by any chance do transcription LOL? (That is what I do and I LOVE it) As for your son, I say talk with him and see what he thinks and let him pay for the ticket. Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with him!

    I do transcription. I'm a freelance translator, and I work from home.

    And yes, I have a great relationship with my son and my daughter. And I feel lucky for that. Whenever they have questions or interrogations about something, they come to me. And I know it's not like that in every family.
  • AureliaCotta
    AureliaCotta Posts: 99 Member
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    My son got a speed ticket Friday afternoon with his car. He's 17. He was driving on a side road and got cut at 73 km/h in a zone of 50. I know he feels bad about it, and he did told me what happened the minute he came home... but I would have received a letter anyway since he's not 18. But I also know that's he's driving a bit too fast. I'm thinking about taking away is car for a week or two... What would you do if this was happening in your family?

    If it happens to my son, HE pays the ticket, not me or his dad. Having to shell out a $100+ dollars of his own money for this might be an effective enough deterrent for future tickets.
  • badgerbadger1
    badgerbadger1 Posts: 954 Member
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    You said he feels bad about the ticket. My advice is to talk to him. He is already being punished for the incident via a ticket, you need to determine if it is enough of a punishment. Does he understand WHY speeding is a bad idea? Does he think that it's a bad idea in order to avoid being ticketed, or does he see the bigger picture?

    If my child brought that home I'd ask her why it's dangerous to speed. Depending on the answer I get would determine the outcome.
  • 2Bgoddess
    2Bgoddess Posts: 1,096 Member
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    I got my first ever speeding ticket6 months ago, doing 72 in a 50 zone.

    I would say if he pays the ticket himself, he's done. Will treating him like a child help him? Is it his car or yours? If it happens again, I'd be more inclined to think of punishments. If it's your car, you could take privleges from him, if it doesn't inconvenience you, because then you are punished instead. But you know your son best. In the past, what have you needed to do in order to modify his behavior?
  • ladybug91254
    ladybug91254 Posts: 232 Member
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    I have worked in insurance for 20+ years and having seen the bad side of speeding (and I'm not talking about the insurance rate increase...I'm talking the accidents/injuries/deaths) I think speeding is very serious. HOWEVER, not knowing you son it's difficult to offer advise. Things that come into account are how long he's been driving, is he overall pretty responsible, does he think the ticket is serious and is it going to be more of a hardship on you than him if you take his car for a week? Having said all that I would probably take the car for a week or at least a weekend. I would also talk in depth with him and maybe have him watch a video showing some of the devastation speeding can can...some are pretty emotional and can have a big impact on a young person. You can usually find some at your local library or possibly your insurance agent.
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
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    I would say take the car until he completes the defensive driving course. It's $25 that he should pay out of pocket, and it will take the ticket off his record, help him think twice about when he speeds or does other reckless things while driving (I know it did me! I daily think about what I learned in my defensive driving course), and the time he doesn't have the car is totally up to him. It could be one day, it could be a week. All I know is he has until, I think, about a month from getting the ticket to complete the course for it to be valid. Plus, having taken defensive driving should get you a discount on your car insurance.

    Driving courses are mandatory here: they last 11 months. And he already took that last year.

    A driving course that is 11 months is not the same thing. Defensive driving is a reiteration course. It teaches you how to drive defensively, not just how to drive. You can take it once a year, as long as it's 12 months apart - if it is the same thing.
  • sarahsmom1
    sarahsmom1 Posts: 1,501 Member
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    He knows he did wrong have him do the driving school thing and it will be taken off his record. Punish to severely on first offense he may not be willing to come to you for further assistance. You dont want to lose that bond
  • moniqueb39
    moniqueb39 Posts: 30 Member
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    I would make him pay for the ticket as his punishment and sign him up for defensive driiving class. If you make him pay for the ticket it will reinforce that there are consequences when you break the law. I have a 19 yr old that just went through a similar situation he is in college about an hour away from me so I really couldn't do much punsihing but we talked about it and he took the defensive driving class, went to court and the judge reduced the charge becuse he took the class on his own before court and it was his first offense. But he paid the ticket. Our insurnace didn't go up becuase the charge was reduced. In the end he felt good in taking care of his own mistake. I feel he handled it like a man and I was proud of him. What else can you do when you make a mistake but own up and fix it.
  • dragonbait0126
    dragonbait0126 Posts: 568 Member
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    I would say if he pays the ticket himself, he's done. Will treating him like a child help him? Is it his car or yours? If it happens again, I'd be more inclined to think of punishments. If it's your car, you could take privleges from him, if it doesn't inconvenience you, because then you are punished instead. But you know your son best. In the past, what have you needed to do in order to modify his behavior?

    This!!! Taking away his car so that he can't get to and from school and work only punishes you. Not him. I got a speeding ticket in high school as well. My parents did not take away my car for that exact reason. My junior and senior years of high school I was often out past midnight due to band and theater. My senior year, I also got out of school at 12:30 because I only took 5 courses. I then worked every afternoon from 1:30 - 6:30 or 7. Taking away my car would have meant my parents would have to leave work to drive me to work (I grew up in a small town with no public transportation and it wasn't feasible to walk as I wouldn't have gotten there on time). My parents were not about to start driving me around. I did have to pay the ticket and attend the driving course though. The ticket itself made me feel more guilty than anything my parents could have done. Talk to him and then go from there.
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
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    a BIT????

    That's criminal speeding where I live and he would have been taken to jail!
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
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    a BIT????

    That's criminal speeding where I live and would have been taken to jail!
  • waskier
    waskier Posts: 254 Member
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    I would make him pay the ticket and the difference on your insurance. That is what my parents would have done with me!

    Paying the ticket has never been discuss: he knows he'll have to pay it. And he's got his own insurance.

    If he is paying the ticket and has his own insurance why would you take the car away? Seems like that is punishment enough.

    What would your father do to you if you got a ticket today?:wink:
  • quietlywinning
    quietlywinning Posts: 889 Member
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    I would make him pay the ticket and the difference on your insurance. That is what my parents would have done with me!

    I would do this and require the defensive driving course to be taken before driving again. Since you said he already knows he has to pay it himself and he carries his own insurance, that means he already has been taught to take responsibility for himself. That means you are doing a great job. None of this should be done as "punishment", just as an issue of responsibility. He needs to understand that being behind that wheel is taking responsibility for his life and the lives of all others on or near the roads he's driving. Paying the ticket and paying for the increase in insurance premiums are the easy consequences with good lessons. Taking the class can give him a look at the far worse consequences without actually killing someone and having to live them.

    Good for you for taking it seriously, and for already having done a great job.
  • speedyf
    speedyf Posts: 1,571 Member
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    I would like to thank everybody.

    My son is responsible, and I'm not saying that because he's my son, he really is. What I didn't thought about, and what you guys help me remembered, is that his insurance will go up (a lot!)... I know he didn't thought about that either and that will be very hard on him and his wallet, even though he works part time and that his money is just pilling up in his bank account... So I don't think I'll take away his car, but I will have a serious conversation with him. And we'll gather some information about that "defensive course" to see if it's available around here.

    Thanks everyone, I appreciate all of your comments.
  • ncw89
    ncw89 Posts: 61 Member
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    IMO he's already *got* a punishment...he got the ticket and the fine. Since he's 17 maybe you need to sit down, have a proper, non-confrontational talk about it explaining why you feel strongly about his speeding, point out that it'll be on his record now for however long (in the UK it's 3 years) and his insurance will be jacked up. Insurance for me is still hiked up 4 years after I got caught speeding (long story, not going into it) despite the fact it's now no longer on my record because we still have to declare it for 5 years after the offence. Maybe tell him that *if* he does it again, *then* you will take away his car. Then it's up to him to sort himself out, he has fair warning, and not getting punished twice for something he's already done and can't take away :)

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