People trying to sabotage you

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42bella
42bella Posts: 14
in Motivation and Support
Why do people close to you try and sabotage you, for example my father. I have asked this man to please stop bringing fast food into the house, if he wants to eat it he can just not around me. Sunday it was Mcdonalds, yesterday chinese food, tonight KFC, even if its not fast food its chocolate cake, giant cookies, ice cream and on and on and on...I just dont understand it why someone close to you woluld not support you and respect you enough to do what you have asked them to do.
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Replies

  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
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    That's a tough one. I don't know if I would have the willpower with all that in the house. I guess try to talk to him again? Good luck.
  • sassylilmama
    sassylilmama Posts: 1,495 Member
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    He is not trying to sabotage you as much as you might feel. That is why this is not easy, your own strength and willpower will be what gets you past this.
  • LabRat529
    LabRat529 Posts: 1,323 Member
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    Is it his house, or yours? If it's his, then he has a right to eat fast food whenever and wherever he wants.

    As for respect... it goes both ways. Sure, it would be nice if he was a bit more sensitive, but you need to respect HIM and respect HIS wishes too, even if they inconvenience you.

    And 99.9% of the time, nobody is trying to sabotage you. They just want to eat what they want when and where they want to eat it. Sometimes they try to be nice and offer to share (even if we don't want them to offer).

    Just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean everyone else is. Just because you don't want KFC, doesn't mean he doesn't.
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Is it his house, or yours? If it's his, then he has a right to eat fast food whenever and wherever he wants.

    As for respect... it goes both ways. Sure, it would be nice if he was a bit more sensitive, but you need to respect HIM and respect HIS wishes too, even if they inconvenience you.

    And 99.9% of the time, nobody is trying to sabotage you. They just want to eat what they want when and where they want to eat it. Sometimes they try to be nice and offer to share (even if we don't want them to offer).

    Just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean everyone else is. Just because you don't want KFC, doesn't mean he doesn't.

    ^^Exactly this!
  • cjpg
    cjpg Posts: 433 Member
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    This isn't sabotage. It's just him living the lifestyle he wants.

    Even though that type of calorie intake is high by anyone's standards, he is entitled to live the way he wants.

    These kinds of foods may be in your home without you wanting them, but he is not forcing them down your throat.

    Just remember that you are the one who has control over what you eat and nobody else.
  • sassygamma
    sassygamma Posts: 84 Member
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    My husband use to do that to me also, but i know he didn't do it purposely to sabotage me, he was just so used to eating that way WITH me that he didn't even think about it.. But with that said, after asking him to stop and he still does it, maybe there is a hidden reason he doesn't want you to lose weight, scared of the NEW person you will be, maybe he doesn't see there is a problem... I wish i could say why absolutely, maybe you need to sit down with him and ask why he does it. Don't let it stop you, maybe when he does it just walk outside take a short walk, go into another room and write, i know for me writing a journal helps alot... Good Luck!!!
  • twanthe1
    twanthe1 Posts: 407
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    I agree with some of the posters - it comes down to personal responsibility, after you hit a certain age you become responsible for what choices you make. Regardless of the availability of something, it is still a choice to eat or not to eat it. When you are married it changes a bit out of respect a wife or husband could oblige such a request but not when you are living with parents or friends.
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
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    Its usually because they're jealous.
  • holli_walker
    holli_walker Posts: 109 Member
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    I understand what you mean. I have some people that do this to. At grocery store you want a candy? I say no fine I won't get one is what I get told. But I just have told myself I won't them impact me. I have made promises to myself. You got! Don't let the person get to you.
  • Marig0ld
    Marig0ld Posts: 671 Member
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    Has he deliberately told you that he doesn't support your weight loss goals? Does he offer the food to you?

    The sad truth is that people are going to eat what they want to eat, and you have to continue to live your life for YOU. Think of this as practice, and think of how much better you will feel after passing that stuff up. Physically AND mentally. My coworkers eat junk for lunch all the time, but I can't tell them to stop just because I'm watching my cals and don't want to go over. Do what's best for YOU...eventually people will start to notice how much weight you are losing and will be more supportive. My coworkers now apologize to me for bringing in fast food but I just smile and say "I'm good" because it's become second nature to pass that stuff up now. Just keep going! :flowerforyou:
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    Well... he's not the one on a diet, so he is free to eat what he wants. If it being in your sight or in front of you really bothers you and is a strong temptation, then sit him down and ask that he try to remember what you're doing and that, while unintentional, his actions are not helping.

    I live with my mom and while she doesn't eat big ol' meals around me, she is a snacker and her snacks are not healthy and occasionally I'm offered a chip or a sip of Pepsi or whatnot. It's just what happens and if you can't deal with it as-is, you need to talk to them, not just assume they're porking out and trying to seduce you into it. Lots of people don't even think about the dieting person when they do that. Same way a person doesn't stop to think there might be a vegan in the room who'll get offended when they order a steak.
  • MJ7910
    MJ7910 Posts: 1,280 Member
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    some people don't know they are doing it. some people are jealous and really want to sabotage you. others are oblivious. if you feel they are really trying to sabotage you, have another talk with them. otherwise they probably won't change what they are doing. and sometimes they really don't want you to lose weight so it won't matter what you say because they want to "save" you from being healthy and in shape. or they want an excuse for their bad eating... it could be so many different things.
  • glenbabe
    glenbabe Posts: 303 Member
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    you could think of it as a test for the rest of your life you have to make choices for yourself hopefully the right choices......sometimes the wrong ones.
    You also have to deal with being around the foods that make your resolve weaker and learning to overcome the temptation or to resist the pull of the devils food lol
    At the end of the day your father makes his choices.....okay in our opinion they are the wrong ones but thats his choice and what you must learn to do is ignore his pitfalls and carry on making good choices for yourself .
    Life will always be this way where ever you go and you just have to accept that and deal with it
    Make sure you are not hungry by eating your foods when he has his takeaway and then its easier not to give in
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
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    Why do people close to you try and sabotage you, for example my father. I have asked this man to please stop bringing fast food into the house, if he wants to eat it he can just not around me. Sunday it was Mcdonalds, yesterday chinese food, tonight KFC, even if its not fast food its chocolate cake, giant cookies, ice cream and on and on and on...I just dont understand it why someone close to you woluld not support you and respect you enough to do what you have asked them to do.


    Why can he not eat fast food in his house? Hes not on a diet you are,leave the room
  • acstansell
    acstansell Posts: 567 Member
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    People who "care" about me try to sabotage me all the time

    - my dad saying that it's okay to take a splurge day every time I talk to him (despite the fact that I've already told him that I do this)
    - my mother in law sending us home over Xmas with pie and cookies
    - family members at xmas time giving us candy for presents.

    Most of it I ignore, the candy I threw 1/2 of it away and next year I'm going to send out an email asking them to not give it to us. I know that may seem rude, but I'm literally throwing their money away.
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
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    Is it his house, or yours? If it's his, then he has a right to eat fast food whenever and wherever he wants.

    As for respect... it goes both ways. Sure, it would be nice if he was a bit more sensitive, but you need to respect HIM and respect HIS wishes too, even if they inconvenience you.

    And 99.9% of the time, nobody is trying to sabotage you. They just want to eat what they want when and where they want to eat it. Sometimes they try to be nice and offer to share (even if we don't want them to offer).

    Just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean everyone else is. Just because you don't want KFC, doesn't mean he doesn't.

    Exactly what I wanted to say. :heart:
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
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    Its usually because they're jealous.
    Usually? You mean always. :drinker:
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    Why should he have to change his eating habits?
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    1. Do you have an eating disorder and he won't let you continue in disordered eating?

    2. If you're on MFP you're (at least) 18, MOVE OUT.
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
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    You should cry. I would cry too.

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