Friends with a girl

KaiteeKarrot

For every girl.....you are fooling yourself and for every guy that thinks the same.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA

Watch the video....

I think I have been friends with ex's and been ok with that because I was with someone else but if I was given the chance to go back with the girl and it worked out and I wanted to be with her then yes I would, so it's a fine line. Can I be friends yes, do I want to, maybe.

College guys, wanting to hook up with every girl in sight? NO way!?!? A youtube video interviewing soley 18-21 yr olds, in a University setting? very diplomatic and therefor an accurate depiction...

I think you have a valid point, to a degree. However maybe some people can be friends, that are the opposite sex, that find the other person attractive, (in the same way you might find someone of the same sex attractive without wanting them sexually) and be able to value the friendship more than any other possibility...("hooking up", having sex, dating) Maybe you just can't be friends with women? Who knows. C'est la vie.

I believe my closest friends are my closest friends, I dont care what their gender is, and i believe them to feel the same way.
If that seems impossible to anyone? So it goes.

asgard825

So two years ago, I was dating around and I had a fling with this pretty darn awesome woman.Let's call her Marge. We had loads of fun, great physical connection, but she flaked on me and then went on vacation. The following week, I met the woman I expect to spend the rest of my life with (or the rest of hers, whichever comes first). My fiance and I share a bond I never thought possible. We just fit together. If I hadn't met her, I'm pretty sure I might have managed to make a go of it with Marge and been very happy, just not AS happy.

Now, I think I would like to hang out with Marge as a friend now, because we share certain interests, such as eating organ meats in sketchy ethnic restaurants. However, the only time we have hung out together was in the context of a sexual fling and she is as attractive as ever. It's not that I think there would be any chance of me cheating - I can keep it in my pants, thank you. But I just don't know how to make a good transition from fling/potential girlfriend to platonic friend I want to eat tripe soup with. I feel like she would be like my food girlfriend. Any advice?

Wether u realize or not -- ur curious about what might still be there--don't play that game

ilookthetype

Let's call her Marge.

BEST "Let's call her..." EVER

Now, I think I would like to hang out with Marge as a friend now, because we share certain interests, such as eating organ meats in sketchy ethnic restaurants. However, the only time we have hung out together was in the context of a sexual fling and she is as attractive as ever. It's not that I think there would be any chance of me cheating - I can keep it in my pants, thank you. But I just don't know how to make a good transition from fling/potential girlfriend to platonic friend I want to eat tripe soup with. I feel like she would be like my food girlfriend. Any advice?

EASY, don't take off your pants!

bringingsexybackx

dont do it to yourself

AmandaCaswell1982

If you have to ask...you already know the answer.

Exactly.

jenny95662

My fiance would be totally cool with it - hell, she thinks I should hang out with my ex-wife, and she has several friends she used to date. But as for me, I just don't know if I can be friends with someone I still kinda want to sleep with. I mean, I could certainly hang out with my ex wife... we never had sex while we were married, no reason why we would start now! Come to think of it, I have other female friends I've slept with and I don't even think about it even though they are totally hot. More reason to stay aweay in this case!

I'm gonna be blunt. She's not okay with it. If she is, she was born with an additional copy of chromosome 21. No women in their right mind would be okay with their significant other hanging out with a previous SEXUAL partner. The way you explained it, all you guys did was have sex. What is the point?

i agree with this every girl wants to be ok with it but i think after u start hanging out she wont feel that way. And if it was just a sexual relationship whats the point. Go find a dude that shares your interests or a girl that you did not have a past with

Rae6503

So lets say your fiance comes to you and says "Hey, there's this really attractive dude that I used to boink.... I wanna be his friend and go have dinner."

How would YOU feel about this?

charityateet

Oh WHATEVER! The next one of you I see calling my friend Formic...Espressoman dumb or dense is going to have a very unpleasant forum life courtesy of yours truly.

I'm telling you right now change the gender of this topic and every response would change. Have a woman ask if it's ok to have lunch with an ex and all you're going to hear is "No man owns me! I'll have lunch with who I want! We're just friends."

I have to agree with this.

thor1god1of1awesome

You still have some feelings for this "marge" i think. Did you talk to your soon to be bride about this and how she feels? Also it just a bad idea to put yourself in that situtation. If you keep throwing steak at a lion sooner or latter the lion going to eat it.

Puffins1958

I think if you wanted to be platonic friends/food friends with her, that's how it should have stayed. I feel once that line is crossed and there is a sexual thing going on, it's not ever easy going back to being platonic. I would not have kept it at being friends..... JMO

_binary_jester_

I hope with 4+ pages someone would have suggested a 3some.

taxidermist15

wow, umm ok, something must be wrong with me.

I am happily in a long term relationship at the moment (7 years or something like that).
My man and i have no issue whatsoever when it comes to jealousy,

My best friend is my ex boyfriend. My partner and my ex boyfriend get along like a house on fire.
Yes ive seen them both Naked, so what. All this stuff about people not being able to be friends with ex-partners is complete BS.

If you dated someone, you dated them for a reason, because they meant something to you, at one time in your life they were your whole world. Sometimes things just don't work out, but why should i have to sacrifice my good friendship because I saw someone naked? To me that is not a good enough excuse to completely cut someone out of your life.
A lot of my best friends are guys (i just seem to get along better with them), 2 of them or so i have had relations with, so what? doesn't change who they are as a person, they are still the same person that you originally were"attracted " to, but as youve seen their bad side and their bad traits, all the sexualness from it leaves and there is nothign there but mutual friendship, knowing you can go home at the end of the day and not have to put up with their nagging, or their messyness or the reason why your broke up with them.
know everyone is different, it helps that both me and my partner are to lay to be jealous (i think), jealousy ruins so many relationships, so 100% trust is what makes us be able to do this. He knows he is my world, and i know that i am his, and so why should we even be remotely jealous of other people. Not many couples i know have this trust, (im not talking trust in general, but 100% unwavering no questions asked trust), but it has to be a mutual thing, which sometimes its hard to find in both people in the relationship.
It works for us.
It wont work for everybody.
But i could not imagine giving up my best friends for my partner. if he asked me, i would do it, but we dont need to.
The way its worked for me, most of my ex boyfriends were friends before anything sexual happened, so maybe that makes a difference, i saw them in a friend way, before anything more, then is proceeded from there,
So if you originally saw them like that, go back to seeing them like that.
ts kinda hard to describe how it works in my world, but it works, living proof that you can be friends with someone of the opposite gender, and it annoys me when people say you cant., its just hard to portray in words

LeSsOvMe

I think the fact that you wrote a post about it kinda proves that you KNOW you can't be friends with Marge, but need to hear it from other people. The basic question is who is more valuable to you? Marge or Fiance?

Exactly.