Friends with a girl

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  • sambo155
    sambo155 Posts: 88
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    I say go out for drinks with her and bring your fiance. I have guy friends and my guy has girl friends. He's friends with his ex's as I am with some of mine and it's not a big deal at all. We're friends with each other's ex's. We can all hang out together. We've been together 3 yrs and 40ish yrs old. I have a 4 yr old and he doesn't have any. Neither of us have ever been married but I've been burned pretty badly. The way I feel about it is, if he wants to be with someone else, go right ahead. If that's more important than building this life with me & my daughter, go right ahead. I told him NOT to promise me that he wouldn't ever be with someone else because in the right (or wrong) situation, that promise goes right out the window anyway. All I ask is that he at least respect me enough to tell me about it and then we'd figure it out from there and I believe he would. And if I suspected anything, which I never have, I'd just ask.
  • rachs02
    rachs02 Posts: 47
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    My fiance would be totally cool with it - hell, she thinks I should hang out with my ex-wife, and she has several friends she used to date. But as for me, I just don't know if I can be friends with someone I still kinda want to sleep with. I mean, I could certainly hang out with my ex wife... we never had sex while we were married, no reason why we would start now! Come to think of it, I have other female friends I've slept with and I don't even think about it even though they are totally hot. More reason to stay aweay in this case!

    Right here is your answer....you say it you " someone I still kinda want to sleep with". Your asking for trouble. From your posts your still tempted by Marge.
  • nelsonf2f
    nelsonf2f Posts: 5 Member
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    I can't believe you are asking this! Your looking for approval from others to think your going behind your womans back. I would ove to be there when it blows up in your face... So spare a few tears from the two women and makr the right decision!!! U already know what to do!!
  • Horskrzy
    Horskrzy Posts: 71 Member
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    Do you ever read an advice column where you wonder how the person writing in could be so dense? The very FACT that you find Marge to still be attractive AND have had sexual relations is a recipe for disaster. If you insist on being "just friends" your fiance needs to show you the door.

    You JOB is to MAKE SURE your fiance never, ever, ever feels like she's anything but #1 in your life. There is no way you can do that in this scenario. It's time to say "Hasta La Vista Marge".
  • jeffarthur
    jeffarthur Posts: 123 Member
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    just ask yourself how you would feel if your new true love wanted to do the same...what good can come from the friendship now.
    run away lad, run away quickly
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    Oh WHATEVER! The next one of you I see calling my friend Formic...Espressoman dumb or dense is going to have a very unpleasant forum life courtesy of yours truly.

    I'm telling you right now change the gender of this topic and every response would change. Have a woman ask if it's ok to have lunch with an ex and all you're going to hear is "No man owns me! I'll have lunch with who I want! We're just friends."
  • OSC_ESD
    OSC_ESD Posts: 752 Member
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    Dude... that's fire!

    No Marge = Happy Fiance

    Marge = Marge (No Fiance)

    If Marge isn't as committed to your fiance as you are (and she won't be), then she'll be trying to revert to sex with you.

    Option 1: Wait till Marge has a significant other that she's committed to. you stand a much better chance of keeping your Fiance under those conditions.

    Option 2: Bye bye Marge. Have a good life.

    Couldn't have said it better myself !

    Hey ... if you like to play with fire ... I hope you enjoy getting burned ! :explode: LOL !
  • lglg11
    lglg11 Posts: 344 Member
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    Oh WHATEVER! The next one of you I see calling my friend Formic...Espressoman dumb or dense is going to have a very unpleasant forum life courtesy of yours truly.

    I'm telling you right now change the gender of this topic and every response would change. Have a woman ask if it's ok to have lunch with an ex and all you're going to hear is "No man owns me! I'll have lunch with who I want! We're just friends."

    OMG that is so true ! LMAO ..

    But again the sexual tension part isnt there so it still doesnt compare to this situation ..

    Still funny as hell though :)
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    I can't believe you are asking this! Your looking for approval from others to think your going behind your womans back. I would ove to be there when it blows up in your face... So spare a few tears from the two women and makr the right decision!!! U already know what to do!!

    i don't believe he said he was going to go behind someones back...
  • iNkedFiTmama
    iNkedFiTmama Posts: 277 Member
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    I wouldn't do it.. Think about the situation in reverse if it was your fiance.. would you be cool with it? If the answer is no..there's the answer on what you should do. I would not be cool with my husband hanging out with an old fling.
  • Funshinerika
    Funshinerika Posts: 37
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    I say don't touch that one with a 10 foot pole. I don't speak to any of my exes nor does my husband. It's a respect thing.

    EXACTLY.
  • wendyw8
    wendyw8 Posts: 86 Member
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    My fiance would be totally cool with it - hell, she thinks I should hang out with my ex-wife, and she has several friends she used to date. But as for me, I just don't know if I can be friends with someone I still kinda want to sleep with. I mean, I could certainly hang out with my ex wife... we never had sex while we were married, no reason why we would start now! Come to think of it, I have other female friends I've slept with and I don't even think about it even though they are totally hot. More reason to stay aweay in this case!

    I think you and your fiance need to come to terms with the fact that you want to be swingers.

    :laugh: :ohwell:
  • wendyw8
    wendyw8 Posts: 86 Member
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    I never understood the whole guys and girls can't be friends nonsense.

    My advice? Don't take advice from people on the net.

    This^^^^
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    If you want to be a good fiance/husband then you will not put yourself in situations that will tempt you. The best way not to cheat is not to put yourself in a situation where cheating is an option.
  • ACCSanchez
    ACCSanchez Posts: 6
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    It would be one thing if you & Marge had a great friendship and then one day crossed the line, and you don't want to lose that great friendship. But it sounds like your relationship was completely sexual from the start and that you just think Marge is a cool girl. I would be wary of that if I were your fiance. It's one thing to remain friends with people you've had relationships with, but it sounds like you want to DEVELOP something with Marge (albeit a friendship) when none was there to start. There is no reason to put yourself in this tempting situation if you're not trying to salvage some great friendship. You don't have kids together, you weren't married, have mutual friends (I'm guessing.), etc. UNLESS you are just trying to keep a line to Marge in case the relationship w/ your fiance tanks.

    It's great that your fiance isn't the jealous type, but show her some respect. I'm not saying you can't have friends of the opposite sex, but if you're trying to stay friends w/ someone who was just a sexual friend, there is something fishy there.
  • the_journeyman
    the_journeyman Posts: 1,877 Member
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    Go listen to "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder (rock version) or Jack Ingram (country version) just so you know how things are going to turn out.

    JM
  • Mandykinz2008
    Mandykinz2008 Posts: 292 Member
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    You can have a friendship with a person of the opposite sex, but not after you've seen them naked. Too risky, don't do it!

    ^^^
    AGREED
  • sambo155
    sambo155 Posts: 88
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    You can have a friendship with a person of the opposite sex, but not after you've seen them naked. Too risky, don't do it!

    Disagree.
  • tamerkins2
    tamerkins2 Posts: 212
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    Dude... that's fire!

    No Marge = Happy Fiance

    Marge = Marge (No Fiance)

    If Marge isn't as committed to your fiance as you are (and she won't be), then she'll be trying to revert to sex with you.

    Option 1: Wait till Marge has a significant other that she's committed to. you stand a much better chance of keeping your Fiance under those conditions.

    Option 2: Bye bye Marge. Have a good life.

    ^^this!
  • TMcBooty
    TMcBooty Posts: 780 Member
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    stay away from Marge.

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