Does You Spouse Motivate Or Complicate Your Weight Loss?

SparkleDoomPony

I always wonder how other married/long-term relationship people handle trying to lose weight with their person always around.

Is he/she a help or a hinderance?

calliope_music

both. he is supportive in the sense that he's sensitive to what i want to eat, encourages me to take walks with him and stuff...but then can eat like a giant bowl of spaghetti and not gain a pound. or, he'll want to make a cake or cupcakes or something, and i just can't have that stuff around!

lpatterson327

im both also, dh is really supportive but if i dont do the shopping and he does, its pizza boats and chips and cookies and crap, all the stuff that my body doesnt want to handle since its getting used to eating the healthy bits

SparkleDoomPony

My husband is pretty good about congratulating me and offering moral encouragement. But he insists that there be "husband food" (aka CRAP) around all of the time! There are cookies in our living room for him at all times!

The best I've been able to figure out so far is to just by the "husband food" I find disgusting, which is hard to find when you're talking about cookies.

kirianna55

Mine does the same thing. He supports my weight loss and diet but insists that he can buy as much crap food as he wants. He also doesn't like buying my health food. Last month he decided that eating anything canned was bad for you and now wont even let me eat progresso low sodium soups. sometimes he eats food that I have been trying not to eat and almost breaks my diet.

Erica002

I tell him how much I lost each month instead o f telling him every week. The only response I get is "good" soo yeah. And he HAS to have his food, he goes with me to the store to make sure all the junk food gets bought. I have pretty good self discipline though so it doesnt really bother me to have the junk food around. I figure he's being supportive by paying for my gym membership. . Oh and he did tell me when I reach my goal, he'll buy me boobs. lol

kandrews24

I guess I take it for granted. Hubby and all three of my children (all boys) are 100% supportive. No crap in the house. Often someone to workout with me and lots of high fives. They are really proud. They are all thin. I'm the only heavy one in the house. It everyone wants to eat out but I don't have many calories left or much sodium left, then we don't eat out or we find a healthy alternative. Now we all go for frozen yogurt or whatever. They still have more treats than I do, but seriously, I've got it good.

Samgramm

I have a good husband who does his best to support me. Celebrates my victories, and is encouraging. Although, he does eat the occasional cookie around me, LOL.

ShrinkRapt451

My hubby's on MFP too, which helps. He's supportive of my goals and aware that we have different needs when it comes to tackling this. He's more likely to just watch calories and eat some crap as long as he stays under, but he does the cooking and has been better about healthy options at dinner. Of course, he weighs more than 100 lbs more than I do, so his calorie goal is MUCH higher than mine. Knowing that (seeing the number, especially) finally broke me of the habit of giving myself the same size portions that he takes.

SparkleDoomPony

I was giving myself the same portions as my husband too. Doesn't really work out when he's 8 inches taller than you and broadly built

Jen2Bfit

I would actually have to say he is a hinderance. Many times he works out of town, so it is just me and my girls and we eat fairly healthy when he is not around. Not that he eats a lot of junk food, but when he is home he likes to cook and a meal without meat to him is not a meal, whereas I do not make too much meat except for turkey, chicken, and fish. Not only that but he is Peurto Rican so rice and beans are pretty much staples to his diet and I find it much more difficult to stay on track when he is around.

runnercheryl

A little bit of both.

He was actually the influence that caused me to gain weight in the first place. Now, he's a mixed influence.

He does all the cooking because with work and exercise I don't have time. That's fantastic because it gives me 30-60 minutes each day that I can focus on myself. He's also kind enough to weigh everything out to my request, and adapt some meals to suit.

BUT

He is an on-off dieter himself. He only manages to eat well and exercise for short periods of time, and when he's not there'll be a lot of junk food in the house, and he'll call for a takeaway quite frequently. That, I can handle now. It was hard at first, but I learnt to deal with it a long time ago.

His other issue is that he's very fussy. He only likes meat, potatoes, tomato soup and white pasta, and takeaways/junk. That's about as far as his interest in food goes. Vegetables make him gag, and most other foods are out of the question due to texture and taste. I like to eat the same meals as him, but it does mean I end up feeling limited. Still, I get my vegetables in and I adapt food when I need to - and on Saturdays we eat separate meals so I can get in the extra variety I need, and the foods I love but he doesn't eat.

vmbourg

Both. This is the second time we've both committed to weight loss but we have two completely different methods. I try to eat healthy and moderately exercise daily. He on the other hand will eat whatever he wants , any portion size he chooses but works out extremely hard daily. (burning 800 calories every workout compared to my 200-300 calorie burns) If I cook a healthy meal, he will eat it. But if we go to a restaurant or if he eats a snack he always eats high calorie food that is almost impossible to fit into my calorie goal , even in small portions !

marsellient

Interesting topic. Overall I'd have to say yes, he motivates me. My spouse is supportive, and loves his greens and veggies, and is an big believer in exercise.He also loves sweets and cheese. He works outside here in the snowy north and definitely needs more calories than I do. I notice, though that in the last few days, since I joined here, and have made it clear to him that I'm counting everything, he's stopped offering me sweets. He just made himself a quesadilla for lunch and didn't suggest that I have any. So, it's looking good.

fteale

Neither, really. He looks after the children at weekends when I want to exercise, but aside from that, he keeps out of it. Doesn't put me off, but doesn't encourage either. He has only commented on my weight loss when I have outright asked him, and even then only in one word replies!

MaximalLife

My wife is right here on MFP - doing great, and it's nice to be working a fitness program together while we do our own thing.
And I do have a list of all she does wrong, but for some reason, I just keep it to myself.....:glasses:

Thena81

he is motivating but e doesnt like how much time it takes up

timeformetofly

He supports me when I am really trying,, but if I blow it he's there to say oh well fat and happy we are... so he does both, but it doesn't matter my weight is not about him.. it's about ME..

llonka

I'd say both. Last night he told me he supported me, and would like to see me reach my goals. But then he drags out the junk food and stuffs his face. :P I do think it's rubbing off on him though, he says he's been drinking more water at work, which is really good!

He is pretty picky about what we have for dinner, I'd love to make healthier dishes, but he turns his nose at it. Hopefully I can get more sneaky about it.

_VoV

Both. He is also working on his fitness goals, and doesn't mind my lighter cooking efforts. Still, he looks for a sweet treat every day, and I need to buy something that can tempt me off my 'no sugar' efforts.

He's generally encouraging and compliments the changes he sees in me. That's always a nice thing. :^)

shellma00

I guess I am the only one who has a completely NON supportive husband. That is why I joined MFP. I have found many freinds on here to give me the support I need because I know I will not get it from him. I cannot wait for the day I am to my goal weight with a smoking hot body, then maybe he will actually be supportive OR at least acknowledge that I was successful this time. AND that I did it without his support and help.

NicolCook

He is unsupportive, but loves the changes that my body has made.
His being so negative only feeds into me wanting it that much more, so he is a help in that sense.
Just wish he would join in!

CoderGal

I always wonder how other married/long-term relationship people handle trying to lose weight with their person always around.

Is he/she a help or a hinderance?

Hinder indeed. Not that he tries to. We're not married or anything but we've been going out for over a year.

He likes to sit and eat creamy buttery deep fried takeout things. I try to get him out for walks and things but that's always fail so I gave up. Then he's unimpressed when I go hiking with guys he doesn't know (who I am completely uninterested in and some have girlfriends...I'm a computer girl, most of the people I meet are men).

I like to move and eat veggies. I'd be a vegetarian if I could actually keep vegetables long enough to eat (hard when you're shopping for one and you're going back and forth from house to house carrying luggage, don't want to carry groceries too).

This is the reason I'm here actually. Since we started dating I've gained 15 pounds (and I was trying to loose when we met).

He travels allot so I tend to eat healthy and exercise allot and loose weight when he's gone :P He's trying to be healthy himself now (he says that ever week tho so we'll see).

And just to note this makes him sound bad but he's really wonderful, always offering to get me delicious bad for me foods haha. When he knows I'm stressed he always pops by with snacks.

inetgirl

My hubby is very supportive. Agreed to change up the meals, using lean turkey or chicken instead of beef. Does not have a problem with me working out. Does not give me a hard time about no sweets, etc in the house. Even agreed to eating out less. We normally eat out 2-3 times a week. Hence, one reason why I am overweight..

I know he keeps snacks in his truck, which is okay because I don't see them. If I don't see them I don't get the temptation to eat them.

queenstatus

I WOULD HAVE TO SAY A BIT OF BOTH. SOME TIMES HE MOTIVATES ME BUT HE IS ALSO VERY SUPPORTIVE IN MY EFFORTS AND HE TELLS ME THAT HE SEES A DIFFERENCE FROM LOOKING AT OUR PREVIOUS PICTURES BUT HE SAYS HE NEVER KNEW THAT I WAS REALLY BIG BECAUSE HE NEVER LOOKED AT ME LIKE THAT WHICH I THOUGHT WAS REALLY CUTE BECAUSE MY HUSBAND IS FIT AND SEXY. HE EATS LIKE A HORSE AND A COW AND WILL ONLY GAIN A FEW POUNDS AND THEN HE STARTS LIFTING WEIGHTS AND EVERY BULGE TURNS INTO SEXY MUSCLES. DAMN HE IS SOOOO LUCKY. I HATE HIM FOR THAT. LOL. BUT HE COMPLICATES IT WITH ALWAYS HAVING SUCH MANNERS AND OFFERING ME THE JUNK HE EATS AND I AM NOT THAT STRONG. BUT OVERALL HE IS GOOD. WHEN I TELL HIM ABOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS AND NSV'S HE SAYS, "THAT'S GREAT NEWS, SO YOU WANNA DO IT?" MEN. LOL GOTTA LOVE HIM.

Elizabeth_C34

A little bit of both.

Sometimes he's good. Sometimes he's not so much. Overall, he's very supportive.

polar135

Both. she is happy that i am being healthy but doesn't always cook that way. In the end, it's my job to make sure that i don't over eat what she cooks.

hmseals

My husband is very supportive. He is always encouraging me and telling me that I can do it! He even does the grocery shopping!!

mizzdivat

My hubby is every supportive. Everytime I look at him i'm motivated because he is a fit soccer player with a six pack On a serious note, he genuinely does care about my health and even works out with me every now and then. A blessing

coke_zer0

Complicate for the most part. Although sometimes if I want chips at night he tells me no.

inlander

He's supportive of my exercising but is not at all supportive when it comes to food. His theory is that you can eat anything you want as long as you eat in moderation. It's probably true, but I can't eat anything I LOVE in moderation, and I explain this allllll the time.