Satisfying, But Taboo

2

Replies

  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I just want someone to answer this: what's up with farting on someone? My boys can't seem to be able to fart unless their *kitten* is in one of their brother's faces.
    lmao, mine too!! i'm sure it's a boy thing... :tongue:
    right...it's a boy thing. I never engaged in such nonsense.
  • Karenlavonne1958
    Karenlavonne1958 Posts: 43
    Lifes little ironies! LOL!
  • vanessaclarkgbr
    vanessaclarkgbr Posts: 731 Member
    Arguably not such a bad habit but when drunk I am happy to crawl into bed and snuggle up with house mates too, regardless of their protests. I will then spoon, snore and drool excessively on their pillow whilst refusing to move. Some may well prefer the farting, I would imagine, which I'm not so guilty of. Most of my friends have had 'the treatment', some are more accepting than others.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    I enjoy slipping them out in a crowded elevator....I can move a midget 3 feet on a good day!:drinker:
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    "Farts are like children. You can tolerate your own but hate anybody else's" :laugh:
    I can tell the difference between my kids' farts.

    My youngest once tried to blame a fart on me while we were Skype video-chatting. I was in San Francisco, the family was home in Austin. She did not win that argument.
  • pholbert
    pholbert Posts: 575 Member
    I just want someone to answer this: what's up with farting on someone? My boys can't seem to be able to fart unless their *kitten* is in one of their brother's faces.
    My boys did it too.
  • Karenlavonne1958
    Karenlavonne1958 Posts: 43
    I work all by myself in a room full of mice who don't seem to care if I fart. The only time anyone ever comes in the room with me is just after I have farted the worse! I try to act like nothing happen but somehow they know! I have warned everyone at work that after lunch enter at own risk!
  • mamitosami
    mamitosami Posts: 531 Member
    Few things are more satisfying than a good fart. I wish that society could overcome the taboos that surround passing gas.

    Husband? Is that you?!
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    You know in cold weather when exhaled breath rises in front of your face in a momentary cloud of condensation ?

    What a relief Methane doesn't work like that too.
    You got that right!
    I am well schooled in looking just as clueless as anybody else once the rank smell hits our nostrils.

    I am the perfect portrait of innocence....:flowerforyou:
  • AlbertPooHoles
    AlbertPooHoles Posts: 530 Member
    i was on a train a few weeks ago. the train was very overcrowded. I had an overwhelming need to let one go. i couldnt hold it anymore. anyway, i let it go.it wasnt a loud one, it was a silent but deadly effort that was let out in a serious of small bursts over perhaps a 30 second time frame. The smell was atrocious. i was simultaneously proud and embarrassed. Anyway, there was a woman who had a baby in a pram stood next to me, and the smell was getting worse, she lifted the baby out of the pram, and sniffed its *kitten*, and said to her friend that she thought her baby needed changing. She got off at the next stop, and another woman stood beside me said to me, "thank God she got off, that baby was stinking" I had got away with it!!
    Excellent work!
  • tig_ol_bitties
    tig_ol_bitties Posts: 561 Member
    I just say you gotta let one rip on a first date. If you're asked on a second, then they're a keeper!
  • danibee79
    danibee79 Posts: 144 Member
    Lmao!! Love this thread!!
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,087 Member
    i was at kaiser with my husband, i was getting a tetanus shot cuz i stepped on a nail.. any who, i'm sitting in this little room right off the main hall and my husband is standing right outside, we're talking and he gets this look on his face and then right in the middle of everything he farts as loud as iv'e ever heard it.. i was so embarrassed i turned red but couldn't help but laugh.. so we're both laughing, people are looking our way and then he farts two more time, equally as loud. it cracks me up every time either one of us brings it up... lol
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    We were shopping for a reclining sofa yesterday. One we were testing out while the sales guy was yapping. It was a power recline. It sounded like a fart while in motion. My husband and I looked at each other and could not.stop.laughing. I'm sure the sales guy thought we were classy people, indeed.
  • AlbertPooHoles
    AlbertPooHoles Posts: 530 Member
    i was at kaiser with my husband, i was getting a tetanus shot cuz i stepped on a nail.. any who, i'm sitting in this little room right off the main hall and my husband is standing right outside, we're talking and he gets this look on his face and then right in the middle of everything he farts as loud as iv'e ever heard it.. i was so embarrassed i turned red but couldn't help but laugh.. so we're both laughing, people are looking our way and then he farts two more time, equally as loud. it cracks me up every time either one of us brings it up... lol
    You hold onto him! What a great guy!
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    Nothing better then crop dusting at the grocery store,the one cheek sneak in a restaurant,or a SBD that clears an entire room.:drinker:
  • AlbertPooHoles
    AlbertPooHoles Posts: 530 Member
    We were shopping for a reclining sofa yesterday. One we were testing out while the sales guy was yapping. It was a power recline. It sounded like a fart while in motion. My husband and I looked at each other and could not.stop.laughing. I'm sure the sales guy thought we were classy people, indeed.
    I farted on each of the three tiny beds that they use to show sheet sets at Kohl's the other day, much to my daughter's dismay. She was especially concerned about the white sheet set, as though I were an amateur and might have an accident. Pshaw! I left my invisible mark while no one was around. Only when someone stops to check the sheet set will they get to know me, without ever knowing me. MINDFREAK!
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    My son just ripped the loudest fart I have ever heard a human being release today. The greatest thing was that he knew it was an awesome release because he just started laughing and yelled "IIII FARTED!!!!!!!!!!"
  • sarahp86
    sarahp86 Posts: 692 Member
    I like dropping ninja farts in public. They drop silently and then BAM!!! Right up your nose!

    I also try and fart in a large group of people so I can slink away!
  • ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll
    ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll Posts: 431
    I just want someone to answer this: what's up with farting on someone? My boys can't seem to be able to fart unless their *kitten* is in one of their brother's faces.
    It's the fart game.


    I grew up with 3 sisters, we never played it.

    I now know that if I ever have to fart that I need to find someone's face quickly!
  • AlbertPooHoles
    AlbertPooHoles Posts: 530 Member
    My son just ripped the loudest fart I have ever heard a human being release today. The greatest thing was that he knew it was an awesome release because he just started laughing and yelled "IIII FARTED!!!!!!!!!!"
    You're gonna make me cry!
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    For old time sake.....

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  • AlbertPooHoles
    AlbertPooHoles Posts: 530 Member
    I like dropping ninja farts in public. They drop silently and then BAM!!! Right up your nose!
    I love reminding folks that the molecules they inhale when they smell my farts -- were once in my colon.

    The circle of life.
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
    This thread is just so amazing. My fiance can let 'em rip in the morning. Or any time, really. But he hates that I am now comfortable enough to relieve myself in front of him. I eat a lot of veggies, so I'm often pretty gassy, and lemme tell ya...they are NOT mild! I, too, like a lot of other people in this thread, am guilty of crop dusting people in the grocery store. I just let it out and tell my fiance to move quickly without breathing it in. I am not envious of the people that have to walk through my cloud of stank.
  • thor1god1of1awesome
    thor1god1of1awesome Posts: 481 Member
    best thread ever! I am a farting machine lol, my wife hates how i let it rip all the time. Then ofcourse we are in bed, i fart, so must duch oven her!. Also when I walk past my kids, i like to fart in there faces as my father did to me when I was wee lad. How i love being a farten hubby and farty daddy.:bigsmile:
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    How come when chili smells good, this is considered "good", but when a fart smells like chili this is considered "nasty"?

    OMG! You're my hero.
    And, my best friend and I have farting contests. She also tells me about her poop. It's normal functions of the human body and we're not grossed out by them at all.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    best thread ever! I am a farting machine lol, my wife hates how i let it rip all the time. Then ofcourse we are in bed, i fart, so must duch oven her!. Also when I walk past my kids, i like to fart in there faces as my father did to me when I was wee lad. How i love being a farten hubby and farty daddy.:bigsmile:

    Alex Dutch Ovened me, so I breathed my garlic hummus breath in his face. I didn't think it was childish at all.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    As a clean-eating vegetarian, I can tell you that my farts are a real force to be reckoned with. But they feel soooooo good coming out, and I admit, the smell of my own is pretty awesome. I agree, other people's farts just aren't the same. My fiance can really crack off some good-sounding ones, but they rarely smell. Not me! I can clear a room. I like the really low-bassy sounding ones the best!

    Sometimes when I'm running, I think they may give me some extra propulsion. I crack myself up, farting on every footfall. It's good times!

    My aunt is like this, but it's because she has Chrones Disease.
  • iCACTUS
    iCACTUS Posts: 113
    Anyone ever have those farts that sound
    like geese or ducks flying overhead?

    Yeeeeeeeeeeeah.

    :smokin:

    Those are my specialty.

    I farted within days of meeting my future wife
    so I broke the ice on that VERY quickly.

    It sounded like Chewbacca.
  • AussieGem
    AussieGem Posts: 96 Member
    This thread is hilarious! I cant believe just how many people take farting so seriously and they are disgusted by it. Me, well I love toilet humour and have been involved in a few competitions.

    When I was younger I farted in a big glass jar, sealed it and then asked my mum if it was clean. I still remember her face when she opened it up and smelled it. That is my version of a practical joke :happy:
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