Annoying comment I hear all the time

jmduvall22

I started my weight loss journey at just shy of 300 pounds. It's taken me about two years to get where I'm at, and 9 months of that was spent pregnant.

While 114 pounds lost is impressive, I'm still not at my target weight. People are constantly asking me if I'm done and I tell them I would like to lose another 30-50 pounds. They stare at me, appalled, and tell me that losing any more wouldn't be healthy. I've literally heard this same criticism from several different people.

I know I used to be big and in comparison to how I was I must seem downright tiny (the pregnancy didn't help the illusion, I'm sure). Hearing this all the time is a real de-motivator. Has anyone else had this problem? What is a good response?

Elizabeth_C34

Ignore them. Do your thing. They will learn to accept you at your ideal size in time. Change is weird for some people.

If someone says that to you, say, "Well, I'm just fine, but thanks for the concern."

_SusieQ_

I have not yet experienced it, I am working to get where you are.

I can understand though why the people around you would think those things. If you have never been the size you are now, to them it probably is really small!

I would just smile and say "Thank you for the veiled compliment; I'll take that into consideration".

Actually I would be a lot b*tchier than that, but I was trying to be helpful. Congrats on your success.

acstansell

I've heard this too - I started MFP at 275 pounds. Most people are shocked when I say that because I hide my weight well. My initial goal is to get to 200 and see how I feel... then maybe try for the last 25. When I've told someone I wanted to lose 100lbs, she looked at me and said I'd look sick and that when she got that small, she was only eating lettuce and crackers and still gaining weight.

I'm going to get to 200 see how I feel, try to maintain for a few months, then if I can manage it w/out feeling horrible, try for the last 25. According to BMI, my ideal weight is 155 - even at 175 that's still 20lbs over!

ladykate7

I started responding by telling them my BMI and a sentence or two about where I'm at within that measurement. Each person I've told that to has never given me grief about my goal since telling them. What are they going to do, argue that the BMI guides are wrong.

sylvuz323

I've said thanks I'm glad you think I look great, but I'm working on the areas that only I see when I'm naked. Usually they have nothing to add after I say that. I also add that I want to reach for my healthy BMI.

Saxmis

I started responding by telling them my BMI and a sentence or two about where I'm at within that measurement. Each person I've told that to has never given me grief about my goal since telling them. What are they going to do, argue that the BMI guides are wrong.

I tried this. I got told that the BMI guidelines were wrong. I've now run out of come backs and the inspiration to justify my weight loss. So I don't. I just tend to say it's my body and I'm healthy.

reneeramirez4christ

I think sharing with them your health goal of reaching your target BMI so you will be in a healthy range will help them understand that it's not all about being skinny, but rather about being healthy for your family and for yourself! Congrats on the hard work and dedication to get where you are and another congrats because I know with your determination you will accomplish your goal...praying for ya!

Silverkittycat

Ignore them. Do your thing. They will learn to accept you at your ideal size in time. Change is weird for some people.

If someone says that to you, say, "Well, I'm just fine, but thanks for the concern."

This. Your body, your health.

MizThang

I have realized that when people say that, it may be because they really do think you look fine the way you are. But as far as a response, especially to the ones with the "stank" face response, just tell them, for health reasons, it would best for you. Unless they are a doctor, there is nothing they can say to that. But I am with AuntSusie5, I would be much more b*tchier too to those people. LOL

smalyk

Besides the BMI statement, I've found that emphasizing what my doctor is looking for helps. For me, that was changing my lifestyle (nutrition and physical activity) and get my weight within the healthy BMI range so I could "pass" my cholesterol "test". A little humor helped too. The closer to goal, the more careful I was about who I talked to about this work, focusing just on my cheerleaders. For the rest, it was none of their business.

BTW, all your hard work is going to pay off in benefits - health (mental and physical) for one. It is worth doing cause it feels so great to be strong and have a body that is working well. Hang in there, find your cheerleaders and keep them close. You can do it!

cmeade20

I'm usually a little snippy with these people. Okay to be honest I'm really snippy with these people. The way I see it they are asking you a personal question and then telling you, that you are wrong. I usually tell them as long as I'm not starving myself then mind your own damn business.

TinaVanHoecke

Often it is a comment people make when you will end up skinnier than they are. Just get to a healthy place and don't worry about what they think.

serendipity22

I can understand getting annoyed by that. Most people don't know how much I weigh. When they ask me how much I want to lose, I say 75 pounds. They think it is a huge amount that will make me underweight. They don't realize that 75 from 215 will make me 140 which is a normal weight. Most of my friends are about 130 - 150 pounds and they don't know how much I weigh.

PrincessEliNa

I've said thanks I'm glad you think I look great, but I'm working on the areas that only I see when I'm naked. Usually they have nothing to add after I say that. I also add that I want to reach for my healthy BMI.

Lol, I used that too!

People are always telling me how I'm "fine" now, and "tiny" and all these other comments...(which really is funny cause I don't see myself as 'skinny' at all!) Anyway, about 3 pounds ago I posted a pic of myself on facebook, saying "14 down, 14 to go!" - Most everyone had to comment on how I'd look anorexic if I lost 14 more pounds :noway:
It's silly of course, but It did bother me...until I finally said, 'Thanks to the people that think I'm fine how I am, but I don't need the validation, and really, nobody but me knows what I look like Nekkid, so I will decide what my ideal weight is" :bigsmile:

Elizabeth_M

I've heard the exact same thing from one person in particular, who is taller than me (and smaller, though not by much) - but when I told her I wanted to lose 25 pounds, she pretty much went on and on about how good I looked (EXCUSE ME??? She's screwed in the head, obviously) and how if I lost that much I would be WAY too thin.

She then promptly goes on to say how fat she is and how she needs to lose about 20 pounds.

Whatever.

Say goodbye to the saboteurs, because I think (in MY opinion) that's what they are.

ALSO - some people have NO conception of weight. When I told a co-worker what I weighed, they nearly fell over, I guess they have a different perception of what that weight would look like.

Ignore the naysayers and keep moving toward your own goal.

congrats on all you've done so far! Very inspiring for me.

rebelontherun

I hear that all the time. I hate it. I've never been more than 160 pounds, but I'm also barely 5 foot, so every single pound shows, and mostly on my stomach. Everyone tells me how "tiny" I am and that I don't need to/shouldn't lose any weight. I usually just try to ignore them and keep pushing on. It's my journey, not theirs.

skb32881

Yes! That annoys me too! I just tell people that at this point that's my goal but it's up for negotiation along the way. I also tell people that my goal weight is just an aiming point and really I'm interested in body composition and I'm not sure where that will take me. And like an above poster said I don't think realize how much I actually weigh. Sometimes if it's a close friend I'll take the time to tell them that my goals aren't unrealistic and I'm shooting for the top of the "healthy" range and I'm by no means trying to be a skeleton. Just today my coworker was appalled when I said I wanted to be lean with good muscle definition. She acted like I was going anorexic on her. LOL!

Elizabeth_C34

ALSO - some people have NO conception of weight. When I told a co-worker what I weighed, they nearly fell over, I guess they have a different perception of what that weight would look like.

This is very very true especially of Americans. We are so used to seeing overweight and obese people that many of us have forgotten what a healthy weight looks like.

LuckyLeprechaun

My Aunt is the one I hear this from. She saw me at my cousin's baby shower and (loudly) exclaimed, "OK You need to knock it off now! Size 12, ten, 8, that was OK, but what are you now!? A ZERO? Enough already!"

I was wearing a size ten when she said that to me. (eyeroll)

I get that I look very different, but I am smack in the center of the "healthy" range. So when I say I want to try for ten more pounds, it isn't a sign I'm about to go all Karen Carpenter on everyone. Sheesh.

LuckyLeprechaun

ALSO - some people have NO conception of weight. When I told a co-worker what I weighed, they nearly fell over, I guess they have a different perception of what that weight would look like.

This is very very true especially of Americans. We are so used to seeing overweight and obese people that many of us have forgotten what a healthy weight looks like.

This is SO true. Also, I think the way everyone lies about their weight skews our perception of what certain weights look like as well. The woman who actually weighs 125 but tells everyone she is 105, is messing up what everyone thinks that weight looks like.

ladykate7

yeah, we might look fine to other people in our clothes, but we have to see the belly pudge everytime we sit down in the bathroom. The number can be whatever it ends up being, but I'm not going to stop trying until that pudge is more skin and less fat.

I'm totally surprised that ppl would argue back about the BMI. Maybe try something light, "I eat my fruits and veggies, and workout a couple times a week, obviously if I'm losing weight like this then its weight that needs to be lost. "

At the end of the day I don't believe we need to explain ourselves to other people or convince them to think about us in a certain way.

Heh, maybe steer the converstaion to them. What is THEIR goal. heck, everyone has one. watch them squirm!!

crystalparent

Everyone is different and really all the weight charts and BMI charts that are out there, I believe, are a basic guide. I lost weight years ago (gained it all back, obviously) and I had gotten down to 165. I am 5' 6", almost. At that weight, I could wear between a size 8 and 10 jeans. And supposedly, if I remember correctly back then, if I would have gone by the charts, I would have still had another 15 - 20 pounds to lose. People would tell me I was too skinny and I would tell them what I weighed, and they wouldn't believe me. And I knew girls who were bigger than me and weighed less than me. So you really have to have good judgment.

I can't wait to say I've gotten down to that size again!!! Oh, just once again, to hear somebody tell me I'm too skinny. LOL!

Gargwin82

Often it is a comment people make when you will end up skinnier than they are. Just get to a healthy place and don't worry about what they think.

EXACTLY what I was thinking!

ladykate7

My Aunt is the one I hear this from. She saw me at my cousin's baby shower and (loudly) exclaimed, "OK You need to knock it off now! Size 12, ten, 8, that was OK, but what are you now!? A ZERO? Enough already!"

I was wearing a size ten when she said that to me. (eyeroll)

I get that I look very different, but I am smack in the center of the "healthy" range. So when I say I want to try for ten more pounds, it isn't a sign I'm about to go all Karen Carpenter on everyone. Sheesh.

My mom and boyfriend thought I had an eating disorder for awhile. Hello?? I finaly cleaned up my nutrition choices and portions, and started working out 2 years ago. Lost 15 lbs and that =s an eating disorder, ridiculous.

Obviously they just needed to get over their concept of me. I wasn't that girl anymore. I ordered healthy at resturants, I went for the veggie tray at holidays. I made my planned workouts a priority and would plan stuff around them instead of skipping like I used to. Eventually they stopping watching and keeping track of what I ate in front of them, and the nasty vibe when I'd go to the bathroom after a meal went away after awhile. Now I maintain with the 15 pound loss and they aren't concerned about it. So what changed? Apparently they did.

Silverkittycat

Often it is a comment people make when you will end up skinnier than they are. Just get to a healthy place and don't worry about what they think.

Everyone else is jealous and wants you to remain fat so they can feel better about themselves? Yeah, that's it. People are bad. :frown:

You create the world you choose to live in.

Apazman

I really like that so many of your are passive and just suggest you ignore it. I think its a good response, however, I am a firm believer that a lot of people are a-holes, and they think they can be a-holes, because no one ever calls them on it. Well I think you should call them out on it.. in FACT! I think you should make them AS uncomfortable if not MORE uncomfortable as they made you.

They don't care about your feelings, or manners or anything but themselves. They should be insulted and harshly so because, we are perpetuating a society of a-holes. Ever cut off the person that just cut off like 3 people driving in and out of lanes? I have .. and it is sweet! People think they can act like that because there is never any consequences, well it is your responsibility as a member of society to establish some level manners, boundaries and consideration with the people around you... Just saying!

jenniebean1680

I would tell people you are just waiting to see where your body levels out, where it's happy.

I have been there, and it sucks, but it's nobody's business how much more weight you want to lose. Nobody asked you how much more you were planning on gaining when you were heavy, did they? You could always ask them why they didn't ask you that back then, but now it's ok for them to butt in?

Don't let it get to you. Come up with a quick, polite, but clearly "You are dismissed, end of discussion" response that you can throw out there without thinking and then redirect.

So irritating! Good luck!!

juicygurl1

so your at 185 ish...tell them to mind their own business. i'll bet you look fantastic keep ur chin up and love yourself!!

MaximalLife

I started my weight loss journey at just shy of 300 pounds. It's taken me about two years to get where I'm at, and 9 months of that was spent pregnant.

While 114 pounds lost is impressive, I'm still not at my target weight. People are constantly asking me if I'm done and I tell them I would like to lose another 30-50 pounds. They stare at me, appalled, and tell me that losing any more wouldn't be healthy. I've literally heard this same criticism from several different people.

I know I used to be big and in comparison to how I was I must seem downright tiny (the pregnancy didn't help the illusion, I'm sure). Hearing this all the time is a real de-motivator. Has anyone else had this problem? What is a good response?

Going from fat to fit changes who we are, and your friends know the new you might not gel as it once did.
Just politely cite the BMI range for your height and weight, then make it clear that your goal is peak fitness.

Those friends will drift away, replaced by new friends that do fit the new you.

briar_rose

I had this comment the other day..someone said 'don't waste away'. I know I am 'only' an overweight BMI now vs. obese but I still have about 30 lbs until my goal weight.