A success story of a different kind.
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ActorGirl1476
Posts: 221 Member
Obviously, to some degree, since I am writing this on MFP, my story is about weight loss. But this success story is about much more than that. Three summers ago, I was turning 21. I had lived in New York City for a little over a year, and I was ready to leave. As an actress, I had little to no success. I lacked confidence, I couldn't even look people in the eye, hell I couldn't look in a mirror... I couldn't speak to men who were strangers, and I cried nearly every day. It was as if I was apologizing to everyone for my existence. I worked at a gelato shop and ate away my sorrows in 30 some different flavors of fancy italian ice cream on a regular basis.I was more unhappy than words can properly convey. I looked a little something like this:
Looking back, I can't remember when exactly, or why this changed. I became a self-help book junkie at one point (ironically none of them helped when I read them, then when I read one in particular, suddenly they all made sense). I began to force myself to look in mirrors, wear tighter clothes. I started working out. I started changing that aweful self-talk.
I started surrounding myself with only people who were supportive of me, cutting out even people who had been the dearest people on earth to me. After seeing myself in a premiere of an indie film in which I was at my heaviest, I joined MFP (my old account) and started logging, walking several miles a day and working out on top of that.
Now, though I am not currently in anything acting wise, I study with one of the most respected acting teachers, I have been offered lead roles in indies, and have spent time on professional sets. I nanny as a day job, and I give such credit towards my happiness the little booger that I am lucky enough to get paid to watch. He is such a large source of joy in my life that whenever anything else goes wrong, he still loves me and it makes me smile. I have amazing friends, just astounding. I am viewed as confident, and beautiful. One friend recently told me that I radiate with happiness, and I thought to myself, when did that happen? How did I learn to love myself? And honestly, I think its because I learned to love everything around me. I learned to accept exactly who I am, and have fun with it. Health must be taken very seriously, but looks should not because eventually no one has them.
Today, as all people tell me I look like Marilyn, I decided it would be fun to do a little hair and make-up research and take some "Marilyn" photos. And sure, in them, I do resemble her. But looking at those photos made me cry. Not because I look like Marilyn, but because I finally look like me.
This is what I look like today:
Looking back, I can't remember when exactly, or why this changed. I became a self-help book junkie at one point (ironically none of them helped when I read them, then when I read one in particular, suddenly they all made sense). I began to force myself to look in mirrors, wear tighter clothes. I started working out. I started changing that aweful self-talk.
I started surrounding myself with only people who were supportive of me, cutting out even people who had been the dearest people on earth to me. After seeing myself in a premiere of an indie film in which I was at my heaviest, I joined MFP (my old account) and started logging, walking several miles a day and working out on top of that.
Now, though I am not currently in anything acting wise, I study with one of the most respected acting teachers, I have been offered lead roles in indies, and have spent time on professional sets. I nanny as a day job, and I give such credit towards my happiness the little booger that I am lucky enough to get paid to watch. He is such a large source of joy in my life that whenever anything else goes wrong, he still loves me and it makes me smile. I have amazing friends, just astounding. I am viewed as confident, and beautiful. One friend recently told me that I radiate with happiness, and I thought to myself, when did that happen? How did I learn to love myself? And honestly, I think its because I learned to love everything around me. I learned to accept exactly who I am, and have fun with it. Health must be taken very seriously, but looks should not because eventually no one has them.
Today, as all people tell me I look like Marilyn, I decided it would be fun to do a little hair and make-up research and take some "Marilyn" photos. And sure, in them, I do resemble her. But looking at those photos made me cry. Not because I look like Marilyn, but because I finally look like me.
This is what I look like today:
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Replies
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This almost made me tear up. Isn't self love a beautiful thing. And now that you know how, you'll never stop loving yourself. Good for you
) 0 -
This almost made me tear up. Isn't self love a beautiful thing. And now that you know how, you'll never stop loving yourself. Good for you)
Thank you! You are so sweet!0 -
Such a great story
and you look amazing girl. 0 -
Some people get obsessed about the idea of looking great to impress other people or because they worry what others think. You did this for all the right reasons, for you and your happiness. That's how it's supposed to be. So way to go!0
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Some people get obsessed about the idea of looking great to impress other people or because they worry what others think. You did this for all the right reasons, for you and your happiness. That's how it's supposed to be. So way to go!
I agree completely. And to add to that, I have learned that worrying about what people think of you is the fastest way to ensure that they will not like you as much as you want them to. Odd isnt it?0 -
Some people get obsessed about the idea of looking great to impress other people or because they worry what others think. You did this for all the right reasons, for you and your happiness. That's how it's supposed to be. So way to go!
I agree completely. And to add to that, I have learned that worrying about what people think of you is the fastest way to ensure that they will not like you as much as you want them to. Odd isnt it?
Well said! I go to the gym, over 300lbs, not caring about what other people think (which seems to be an obstacle for a lot of larger people) because this is for ME and my health. It makes me feel so much better knowing I could give a damn less what anyone else thought.
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Ooh pretty! I love your shape! I can't wait to see what I look like at your weight. How tall are you? I'm 5'5 or so. My goal weight is around 170 or so, since I'm focusing pretty hard on muscle building as well as fat loss.0
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Such and inspiring story, you look beautiful!! Congrats!!0
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This was beautiful and you are beautiful. Normally I have the attention span of a gnat and read 2 paragraphs tops, but I not only read, but also felt, every word of this. Congratulations on your progress, and thank you for sharing such an inspiring story!0
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Well said! I go to the gym, over 300lbs, not caring about what other people think (which seems to be an obstacle for a lot of larger people) because this is for ME and my health. It makes me feel so much better knowing I could give a damn less what anyone else thought.
That is great. You are an inspiration!!0 -
amazing!!0
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Beautifully portrayed.... And I love ur look and ur attitude... u will surely reach heights of success and u have already by being the happiest person. Thats the best of Success..... Great work!!0
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Ooh pretty! I love your shape! I can't wait to see what I look like at your weight. How tall are you? I'm 5'5 or so. My goal weight is around 170 or so, since I'm focusing pretty hard on muscle building as well as fat loss.
I am 5'8. 0 -
you are all kinds of beautiful. thank you for inspiring me,0
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This was beautiful and you are beautiful. Normally I have the attention span of a gnat and read 2 paragraphs tops, but I not only read, but also felt, every word of this. Congratulations on your progress, and thank you for sharing such an inspiring story!
Thank you for reading! I was worried it was a bit long!0 -
Awesome post!0
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BEAUTIFUL and I mean your journey (you are a beautiful young lady too). And at such a young age! I still struggle with all those things and I am 49! I feel like a proud mama reading your story. So happy for you and I just know you will not only possess that self love forever but sure you will spread the love and help others along the way! Thanks for sharing!
Peace! :flowerforyou:0 -
What a beautiful story. I'm really moved. That kind of inspiration spreads, so thank you for sharing that with us.
PS-You're stunning, gf.0 -
Well done!
You look great!0 -
Sweet jesus, what a read, and you look just amazing. god bless0
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