Has he moved on :( ??

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  • PandaofDestruction
    PandaofDestruction Posts: 114
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    girl stop texting him all together -- or just tell him you still have feelings for him. One or the other. The whole 'hanging' status is soo draining.

    Plenty of fish in the sea...


    This ^^^^
  • jjohnboy2000
    jjohnboy2000 Posts: 67 Member
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    .


    Sent a hello text Wed. night around 8pm. He responded 8am next morning. Keep in mind he's a CPA in tax season! Last night I sent a text with pic of my favorite dish he used to cook for me and made a joke about it. He responded with a flirty text so I responded with a flirty text back in form of a question. Nothing - never got a response.


    He is a CPA in tax season....busy / tired. Try calling and just ask how he is, knowing that he is busy.
  • AlbertPooHoles
    AlbertPooHoles Posts: 530 Member
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    You should check his text messages.

    Every time I see you in the threads this is what you say. lol.
    If I've learned anything in the forums, it is that unsupportive loved ones are hiding something, and text messages are the best place to uncover it. Dun dun dun...
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    Does it really matter if he did?

    If he did, what does that mean to you? Will you move on?
    If he hasn't, what does that mean to you? Will you talk to him about what's going on?

    It seems you're clearly not over him. It also seems if he'd want you back, you'd take him back.
    If this is the case, talk to him. If you know that it's time to let go, then let go. Go no contact because every little text and call will just keep nagging at you. This time though, stick to it. You won't get over him until you cut him out!
  • richelle67
    richelle67 Posts: 73
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    He has moved on! Sorry to just come out and state it, but thats the best way to do it. Go on with your life. Try your hardest not to contact him again. He knows your number and can contact you if he wants.(remember up to now, he hasn't) I am saying this from personal experience. It is hard, cuz you keep wondering what if? You aren't over him, and probably never will be because of everything you shared, but it is best to continue on your life without him. Don't wait around for him to call or text, cuz most likely he won't. You are a special person! Remember that! Sorry to be so brutal, but sometimes true honesty hurts the most. And maybe I am wrong and someday he will contact you, at least than you will know how he truly feels cuz he will have made the first move to reconnect. Good luck, I know how it hurts and how you feel! P.S. Yes, it is tax season, he is busy, but remember, to text you back only takes a few seconds, we all have a few seconds in our life for someone we really care about!
  • reactor25
    reactor25 Posts: 146 Member
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    I think he probably is busy at work and you are over analyzing. Even if you got back together it sounds like the circumstances that weren't working before would be pretty much the same. I wouldn't take any flirty texts seriously, that stuff is nothing. Almost any guy will respond to a flirty text. I would either stick to your plan of no communication/healing/moving on or try to get him back accepting all the issues you had before... That being said, any guy that is head over heels in love with a girl usually has a hard time staying away. Guys are usually obvious in their affection. Maybe there is someone else better suited for you??
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
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    He chose not to marry you, its time you move on. The longer you keep texting and allowing this little game to be played, the longer it is going to take you to heal.

    There are not many things in this world that hurt as bad as a heart ache, especially when you think you love someone so much. But if we allow ourselves time for pain and time for healing, we will meet someone that will make it so clear as to why it never worked out with all the rest. Believe it or not, there are people in this world that will put you first, and you are worthy of that kind of love.

    Good luck and I am so sorry for your pain. I have been there done that myself. All I know is I am so grateful that I jumped off that merry go round, cause it was when I jumped off and got my feet planted on the ground is when I met my prince charming, and I thought I had already done that. ;)
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
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    Over analyzing indeed!!! You are a 40 year old woman. Figure out what you want..... spend your time thinking about that, not trying to read his mind, because you'll never succeed at the latter. If it isn't him let it go... Limbo is not a fun place to be. Difficult as it may be - Move on.

    If it is him you need to do more than send a random text and think he understands your intent. He's not a mind reader either.
  • xo_morgan
    xo_morgan Posts: 298
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    You should check his text messages.

    :drinker:
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
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    Sent a hello text Wed. night around 8pm. He responded 8am next morning.

    Men are usually horny at that time :)

    But... I wouldn't put much stock into it. Best thing is just to stop contact and see if he comes after you. When men want something they come after it. Usually.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    Get yourself the book "He's Just Not That Into You" and read it...IMO every woman should!
  • caroldot
    caroldot Posts: 388 Member
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    OK! Wow! You put it out there, you gotta be prepared for the brutal honestly! whew!

    I was in a horrible marriage for 15 years so when I met a guy at age 36 that showed me what true love is about - friendship, love, mutual respect, etc. then yes its been hard moving on. And for the record, the contact has not been one sided - we've been pretty equal with it. And it was me back in December after a heart-wrenching conversation that I told him I couldn't do it anymore in order to move on. Out of respect, he has not contacted me. I just know he's going thru stressful time right now so wanted to reach out and let him know in a small way that I was thinking of him.

    BUT YOU ARE ALL RIGHT - IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. So thank you....I MUST MOVE ON! That's why I'm on MFP to focus on myself and when I do I'm sure the right guy will come along :)
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
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    Also this one: Why Men Love *****es: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship by Sherry Argov

    EXCELLENT read. Not what it sounds like either. Not "*****" as in the worst connotation.

    LOL, guess they censored the female dog word... whatevs.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    He went for the career, and it only sounds like he texts you when you text him first. He moved on long ago.


    Cut the cord, as all you're doing is tormenting yourself.

    Agree with this! He is merely responding to your pursuit. No more. If he was interested in more, he would PURSUE you. HE would call you.

    Please stop texting him. But I don't agree with calling him either.

    It's time to let go of him and move on. If you two are truly meant to be together in the future, he will be back in touch with you because he wants to, not because you nudged or pursued him.

    Agree with both of these people. You were together for three years. It's not like you had been on a few dates and weren't sure how you felt about each other yet. You spent six months thinking about it and came to the conclusion that it was best to end things. Each of you knew what you were giving up, and you gave it up. Don't be so quick to overlook that very important fact.

    You're still hanging on for this guy because you made the monumental mistake of not making a clean break when you decided it was over. I know it's hard; I've been there. Everyone thinks they can be noble and mature and "be friends" with someone after breaking up with them, but you can't ... not until you've had time to get over each other. If you still have feelings for him, you are NOT just friends, and you WILL get hurt if you keep clinging to this notion that you might get back together.
  • badgerbadger1
    badgerbadger1 Posts: 954 Member
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    WHY did you break up with him if you are still pining for him? Clearly you hoped with your ultimatum he would choose to marry you and that didn't happen.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    Out of respect, he has not contacted me
    Sorry hun...he hasn't contacted you because he's just not that into you.
    I just know he's going thru stressful time right now so wanted to reach out and let him know in a small way that I was thinking of him.
    I know what you're doing. I've done it myself. You want him to see that you're thinking of him and that you care. You want him to say "she cares so much for me...I must have been a fool for letting her go".

    I know it's hard and I know it hurts - but you must move on. Best of luck.
  • caroldot
    caroldot Posts: 388 Member
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    WHY did you break up with him if you are still pining for him? Clearly you hoped with your ultimatum he would choose to marry you and that didn't happen.

    OK I've read everyone's response and appreciate it but must respond to this. I NEVER gave him an ultimatum. I NEVER said marry me or we are done!!! We talked about marriage many times and looked at rings, houses etc. But alot of factors involved, I own a home/ he still owns a home in another state - not a good housing market, his job is 60 miles from my house so that made it hard, my kids keep me busy, my now deceased father was very ill and I didn't feel I was being fair to him. He's so focused on accomplishing his CPA and career that he didn't feel he was being fair to me.

    I was just a little offended by this comment so felt I needed to respond.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,366 Member
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    Glad you're making the decision to move on. Sometimes you can't be friends. You don't have to be enemies, but you can't remain friends without it doing damage. You should want to be emotionally available to other people some day.

    When I used to get the old "I want to be friends" feeling, I reminded myself of how he hadn't been there for me as a friend when I needed him. He just was there to enjoy my friendship and support when he needed it. So I let go. And believe me, he was my best friend ever (when we were a couple)- it wasn't easy. But it was the best thing I ever did. Good luck to you. You can do it.
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
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    I don't generally respond to these either but I have never heard of anything so immature from someone your age.
    If you don't want to know, don't ask. And yes- he's gaming you and YOU are creating a swell headed Frankenstein monster.
    This guy thinks he's George Clooney AND Brad Pitt

    PLEASE GROW UP before you get in another relationship
    thank you

    and PS: BEFORE all you bleeding hearts jump my **** - two things 1) this is NOT a 'lonely hearts' site and 2) there's a reason I'm called WICKED

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