Has he moved on :( ??

scapez

Get yourself the book "He's Just Not That Into You" and read it...IMO every woman should!

caroldot

OK! Wow! You put it out there, you gotta be prepared for the brutal honestly! whew!

I was in a horrible marriage for 15 years so when I met a guy at age 36 that showed me what true love is about - friendship, love, mutual respect, etc. then yes its been hard moving on. And for the record, the contact has not been one sided - we've been pretty equal with it. And it was me back in December after a heart-wrenching conversation that I told him I couldn't do it anymore in order to move on. Out of respect, he has not contacted me. I just know he's going thru stressful time right now so wanted to reach out and let him know in a small way that I was thinking of him.

BUT YOU ARE ALL RIGHT - IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. So thank you....I MUST MOVE ON! That's why I'm on MFP to focus on myself and when I do I'm sure the right guy will come along

JennieAL

Also this one: Why Men Love *****es: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship by Sherry Argov

EXCELLENT read. Not what it sounds like either. Not "*****" as in the worst connotation.

LOL, guess they censored the female dog word... whatevs.

ItsCasey

He went for the career, and it only sounds like he texts you when you text him first. He moved on long ago.


Cut the cord, as all you're doing is tormenting yourself.

Agree with this! He is merely responding to your pursuit. No more. If he was interested in more, he would PURSUE you. HE would call you.

Please stop texting him. But I don't agree with calling him either.

It's time to let go of him and move on. If you two are truly meant to be together in the future, he will be back in touch with you because he wants to, not because you nudged or pursued him.

Agree with both of these people. You were together for three years. It's not like you had been on a few dates and weren't sure how you felt about each other yet. You spent six months thinking about it and came to the conclusion that it was best to end things. Each of you knew what you were giving up, and you gave it up. Don't be so quick to overlook that very important fact.

You're still hanging on for this guy because you made the monumental mistake of not making a clean break when you decided it was over. I know it's hard; I've been there. Everyone thinks they can be noble and mature and "be friends" with someone after breaking up with them, but you can't ... not until you've had time to get over each other. If you still have feelings for him, you are NOT just friends, and you WILL get hurt if you keep clinging to this notion that you might get back together.

badgerbadger1

WHY did you break up with him if you are still pining for him? Clearly you hoped with your ultimatum he would choose to marry you and that didn't happen.

scapez

Out of respect, he has not contacted me

Sorry hun...he hasn't contacted you because he's just not that into you.

I just know he's going thru stressful time right now so wanted to reach out and let him know in a small way that I was thinking of him.

I know what you're doing. I've done it myself. You want him to see that you're thinking of him and that you care. You want him to say "she cares so much for me...I must have been a fool for letting her go".

I know it's hard and I know it hurts - but you must move on. Best of luck.

caroldot

WHY did you break up with him if you are still pining for him? Clearly you hoped with your ultimatum he would choose to marry you and that didn't happen.

OK I've read everyone's response and appreciate it but must respond to this. I NEVER gave him an ultimatum. I NEVER said marry me or we are done!!! We talked about marriage many times and looked at rings, houses etc. But alot of factors involved, I own a home/ he still owns a home in another state - not a good housing market, his job is 60 miles from my house so that made it hard, my kids keep me busy, my now deceased father was very ill and I didn't feel I was being fair to him. He's so focused on accomplishing his CPA and career that he didn't feel he was being fair to me.

I was just a little offended by this comment so felt I needed to respond.

sunkisses

Glad you're making the decision to move on. Sometimes you can't be friends. You don't have to be enemies, but you can't remain friends without it doing damage. You should want to be emotionally available to other people some day.

When I used to get the old "I want to be friends" feeling, I reminded myself of how he hadn't been there for me as a friend when I needed him. He just was there to enjoy my friendship and support when he needed it. So I let go. And believe me, he was my best friend ever (when we were a couple)- it wasn't easy. But it was the best thing I ever did. Good luck to you. You can do it.

wickedcricket

I don't generally respond to these either but I have never heard of anything so immature from someone your age.
If you don't want to know, don't ask. And yes- he's gaming you and YOU are creating a swell headed Frankenstein monster.
This guy thinks he's George Clooney AND Brad Pitt

PLEASE GROW UP before you get in another relationship
thank you

and PS: BEFORE all you bleeding hearts jump my **** - two things 1) this is NOT a 'lonely hearts' site and 2) there's a reason I'm called WICKED