Tales from the Work Toilet

porcelain_doll · February 2012

Boy, I love where I work..... Especially when someone comes into the bathroom and announces on their way to the stall, "Oh, I'd better grab my 'wipies' in case I do a 'poopy!'" THEN, upon grabbing said 'wipies' from cupboard and going into the stall, says with great joy, "My bowels are about to be so happy!!" And yes, this was a grown woman that said this.

What are some of your work bathroom horror stories??

_binary_jester_ · February 2012

We have one guy that brings in his iPad to the stall. We have a janitor that talks to you while you are peeing.

I use the short urinal so i can feel like a giant. When I am alone in there I say "HO HO HO".

Myslissa · February 2012

OMH....LMAO......Thanks!

Contrarian · February 2012

That woman is effing cuckoo.

kjones3535 · February 2012

At my old job someone had used the floor as their own toilet. The building had a lot of security and only employees could get in, which means that one of my co-workers did it.

onedayillbamilf · February 2012

Do you work at a daycare?

I get annoyed when the person in the stall next to me is playing games on their phone, mainly because I don't know what game they're playing or if they're winning. That bothers me.

scs143 · February 2012

Our receptionist will come in, spray bath and body works crap everywhere and asks everyone who was in there before her to please leave because she has to do a #2.

I feel like I am in kindergarten sometimes.

porcelain_doll · February 2012

LOL!!!!! No, I work at an office!

76tech · February 2012

I like working at home. This is one of the reasons.

hbrittingham · February 2012

We work in a three story building and the folks from the second floor come down to our bathrooms to do their business, apparently they don't want to stink up their own bathroom. And they talk on their cellphones the entire time, through flushing toilets and all.

Elizabeth_C34 · February 2012

I went to the ladie's room two days ago at my school library, and this girl came into the stall next to me and started farting really loud... she was also on her phone while doing this.

EW.

bikermike5094 · February 2012

I always play angry birds on the loo on my iphone and turn the volume up real loud.....

lizziebeth1028 · February 2012

My story is super-gross! We have a woman at our office who has some serious hygiene issues and apparently does not bathe on a regular basis or just has a problem reaching certain spots. Ewwww I know. We are talking nasty rotten stinky....... Well let's just say that the bathroom smells like dead fish after she's been in there, I mean it is super over powering gross!!! My co-workers and I have been racking our brains trying to come up with a way to deal with this delicate situation. Any suggestions would be welcome!!!!!

Elizabeth_C34 · February 2012

Talk to your boss confidentially and ask him/her to deal with it. That's really unprofessional.

hbrittingham · February 2012

Lots of air freshener as soon as you see her come out!

_binary_jester_ · February 2012

I just walked in the bathroom and it sounded like someone dropped Niagara Falls from their colon.

...and he might have given birth. I was about to inquire as to he health, but thought better of it and left quickly.

Contrarian · February 2012

Aimed at her crotch.

hbrittingham · February 2012

LMAO!

BondBomb · February 2012

I work from home now. But when I did work in an office - we had a few weeks where they were doing construction in the building. Since there wasn't access to the bathrooms they built a bathroom trailer outside. It actually wasn't that bad. But there were only 3 stalls. Well there was always a line. One time I am in line and this woman comes out of the stall and heads to the sink. Naturally I go in to the stall next. She then bangs on the stall door. Almost gave me a freakin heart attack.. I notice she had left her briefcase in the stall. So I say 'one second Im still going'. She bangs again. Finally I button up and open the door. This psycho is standing with her hands on her hips and says 'I left my case in there on purpose while I washed my hands'.
I said - well there were a lot of people waiting and you can't really occupy the stall with your personal items.
She tells me...and I am dead serious " I can DO what I WANT'.
Oh Ok. - So I smile and reach over a grab her case. (Unwashed hands and all)
Here you go. Have a nice day.
She just stood there in shock.
Seriously shes lucky I didn't outright pee on it.

Audddua · February 2012

We have a crazy coworker, that clearly doesn't get enough attention at home, so she tends to trap women in the bathroom. She blocks the door, ignores all attempts to end the conversation and leave so she can have impromptu "girl talks". She'll ask super obnoxious & personal things like, "I thought heard a wrapper while you were in the stall, are you on your period, are you using tampons?". Then she'll offer her nutty advice for some herbal remedy for cramps while explaining that tampons will probably kill me. It's terrible. :grumble:

Audddua · February 2012

I have one of those too! I literally just checked your profile to make sure you're not working in my office LOL. Our lovely lady has a walker (she's older and larger than most) so I can hear her moving about. I will hold it until it hurts :sad: to avoid that stench. The thing is I really like joking around with her and she's quite funny. I just have to keep my distance from her desk.

onedayillbamilf · February 2012

Leave coupons for lady wash & spray on her desk when she's not there.

DQMD · February 2012

There are a few women that I work with that the second I walk in the bathroom I know they are there. I will walk out so I don't gag with the smell. I will hold it before going in there.

The grossest is when women have the TOM of the month and leave a tampon in the tiolet. FLUSH IT or wrap it up in a tissue to throw away. DON'T leave it in the tiolet for someone else to deal with. Barf.

p0pr0cksnc0ke · February 2012

I go two floors down to our basement level to use the bathroom. Not because of ME.. but because of the other cows I work with. The toilets are always flooding on my floor. They flush and poo at the same time (idk if they want a bidet effect or the toilet to suck it out or what...) Like someone else said, there are a handful of women with "hygeine issues" When I was pregnant, I didnt hold back comments. "OMG, are you F'ing kidding me?" and i would walk out LOL now I just use it as an excuse to take stairs up and down every so often

ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll · February 2012

I am so happy right now that I have a private bathroom at work.

lizziebeth1028 · February 2012

Thanks for all the advice on the 'Fish Lady'! And from all your stories it seems apparently that bathrooms can really bring out the crazy in people!!!! :noway:

MyFeistyEvolution · February 2012

I won't even read this thread because it'll probably gross me out...but I'm gonna be frank..

There are people with AES (Anal explosion syndrome) in my office.

It's to the point where stalls have been left gross, bathrooms closed and signs put up "Please be courteous to your coworkers and clean up after yourself".

I'd rather go pee in the woods most days than use the bathrooms here.

Bronx_Montgomery · February 2012

Did this thread just really happen?

MyFeistyEvolution · February 2012

Yep.

SinIsIn · February 2012

I'm really happy that I have my own bathroom.
Although the main customer bathroom is about 12 feet from me and some of these truckers can really stink up the whole damn place. It's pretty disgusting... and the reason I don't eat in the office.

scotslass · February 2012

When I went into the toilet after a lady in work (I was 7 months pregnant) The smell was so disgusting that i vomited all over it...very loudly...went i walked out to clean up she was still standing washing her hands with a really red face....I didnt mention anything to her lol

Tales from the Work Toilet

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