I can't believe I'm scared?

raevynn

fear of failure?

Fear of success?

Why is losing weight scary? I've dealt with this, myself -- still do.

It is a major change.

If you are successful, in some way you will have to take responsibility for your previous body size. "I couldn't help it" won't cut it when you've managed to whip it into shape.

Fat is a buffer between us and the world. We are very "unseen" because of it. Are you ready to be "naked" out there?

I don't have easy answers for you. I applaud you that you are asking the question, and that you are ready to start dealing with the fear.

I'm hoping that I'll be able to deal with it in time, myself.

TanyaCurtis

Everyones scared of change And u used ur weight as cushion, or something to hide behind. Now u can't, and life is going to be alot different, it's scary, but exciting, and u have to accept this change and welcome it, otherwise, like most people, u gain all ur weight back

pauljsolie

If one has low self esteem and a low self image, typically when they lose weight they tend to sabotage themselves. If the self image isn't worked on, losing weight takes away an excuse for not liking oneself. In essence, now I'm in shape and healthy so now I will need to find something else to loath about myself. Before anyone (especially me) gets to their goal weight, make sure you love yourself first and like what you see looking back at you in the mirror. It took me a few years to finally learn this.

TruckerChick

I struggle with something similar, and I've thought about it a lot. For me, I think this has two components. One is straight-up fear, and others in this thread have described that well. The other component, though, is harder to define.

I think I would call it "defiance". As a heavy person, I have struggled mightily for dignity and self-respect. I am not, nor have I ever been, a less worthy person because of my size. I think this stems from the "helpful"/hurtful things that "caring" friends and family say to fat people. (I don't know what they say to boys/men, but girls/women get told things like "you have such a pretty face," and "if you just put some effort into your appearance...") The implicit message of these statements is that the potential worth of the target is diminished by being fat, and as a woman, that her only significant source of worth would come from her appearance meeting societal standards.

I refuse to accept that I am less worthy, and feel that I must defend my worth. I am obstinate and contrary by nature, and this has become a... a "thing". I have worked very hard to be smart, strong, and competent. I think I have worked even harder to accomplish these things on my terms, to prove that I am fine the way I am. To prove that those "loving words" full of thorns are not true.

I have gotten to a point in my life where I am ready to try to lose weight for myself. Not to be prettier. Not for the approval of people who ought to love me as I am. Not so boys will like me more (my girlfriend is the jealous type.) Not because I hate fat, or fat people, or myself for being fat.

I think I am ready to lose weight so that I feel better, because I want to. Because it is my body to change by losing weight, the same as it is my body to change by piercing or tattoo. My choice, my terms.

Still, I dread hearing anyone say smugly "See? Aren't you so much happier now?"

Very well said... took the words right out of my mind!!

All my life, I've been told, "You would be so pretty if only you would lose weight." When I look in the mirror, because I am still fat, I see ugly, tho I"m told I'm pretty... beautiful even. But I still see ugly.
And I dread those words... "See? Aren't you happier now?" or something along those lines.

newlife888

Hey me too! I think it all has to do with changing and adjusting self-body image, which can take a while! I've also ALWAYS been overweight, and in a way, the extra weight added a layer of protection, almost. Being a healthy weight comes with vulnerability for sure. I totally feel what you are articulating. You are not alone.