Does your partner share your lifestyle choices?

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Replies

  • I am finding that this is my biggest obstacle in my weight loss journey. He wants NOTHING to do with healthy food options or working out. It's not that I want to make him do something that he doesn't want to do, but do you know how HARD it is for me to have all the JUNK food around me. Not to mention, I can't make healthy meals when he is home. I just have to make something he will like, and then watch my portions and make sure I get my workout in that day. It would be SO much easier if he was on the healthy lifestyle change with me :(
  • juliekaiser1988
    juliekaiser1988 Posts: 604 Member
    I'm newlywed only a year. At age 42, this is the first time I'm into working out: running, hiking, Zumba, you name it. My husband is a former competitive body builder. He is now at the age where he could care less about going to the gym. Which is sad- because his body was rockin'~!!

    So, I just hope to lead by example and maybe it'll fuel a fire. I tried egging him on to go back to the gym. That backfired. Seriously.

    I think he'll come back to it, but it has to be completely on his own.
  • I'm single :-(

    But everyone I know is very supportive and enthusiastic for me.
  • theginnyray
    theginnyray Posts: 208 Member
    My hubs is super supportive. Like a PP said, he better be, if he wants to eat :-)
    We mostly do our workouts separately, otherwise we'd have to get a babysitter. I mostly run and do some videos, he mostly bikes and lifts. When the weather is nice, we ride bikes and go for walks as a family.
    I never suggested or forced my husband to join MFP. He did so on his own free will. When he saw that calorie counting was working really well for me, he thought maybe he should give it a shot too. He's always always always been supportive of me, and it has taken a lot of conversations and compromises to get us on the same page food-wise. Have an open mind and remember that you can't change anyone.
  • speedyf
    speedyf Posts: 1,571 Member
    My bf would like to start walking with me once in a while, to improve is cardio. My healthier lifestyle also had a direct impact on the meals... and everybody loves it. Nice meal, a lot of fruits & veggies in the fridge...

    I told my bf that I was seriously thinking about doing the Spartan Race next June in our area, and I asked him if he would come to cheer me up, and he told me he would really like to participate too, but that he would surely die!!! He's more and more determine to start walking, but he hates winter, so I know nothing will happen before spring. But I know he will walk with me this summer. There's hope :laugh:
  • robinogue
    robinogue Posts: 1,117 Member
    My husband does not share my lifestyle choices or changes. He wasn't very supportive when I began this journey, it's only been the last year that he's told me how proud he was of me. I try to get him to walk with me, use our equipment at home but nothing. Oh well hopefully one day he'll come around but if not I still support him.
  • mixedfeelings
    mixedfeelings Posts: 904 Member
    I'm really quite lucky. both of us are vegetarians, James eats what he wants when he's at work but he's usually quite healthy (he has cottage cheese for lunch nearly every day!) but he'll eat the same as me, when he's just cooking he'll weigh everything out for me. Same at the weekends he'll stick with me. If I don't have enough calories left for a treat, he won't bother either even though I say he's welcome to (it's past the stage of me being a bit touchy about it), plus he'll come out on walks with me and help me with yoga so that I don't do myself any damage. I do consider myself to be very lucky.
  • seattlerain
    seattlerain Posts: 189 Member
    My ex ate noting but fried food and cheese and complained when I worked out.

    My new partner and I are on the same page as far as lifestye choices go.
  • rsdgirl
    rsdgirl Posts: 241 Member
    my husband is very supportive and will eat whatever i cook (go figure, hes a man lol) and his career is very physical so id say ........ yes (for the most part)
  • JanLeb
    JanLeb Posts: 297 Member
    My DH is very supportive most of the time.

    I do most of the cooking, and he is fine with all the meals I prepare, and also is working towards a healthy lifestyle.

    I have offered to make some separate versions of meals I prepare as I have to eat gluten free and don't think he should have to go without just because of me, but he is fine most of the time with it.

    I am sure he sneaks a 'treat' every now and then though.
  • kperk91
    kperk91 Posts: 226 Member
    My boyfriend played on his high school baseball team and had to go through conditioning so he was tall and thin when I first met him my freshman (his sophomore) year of college. Since then, we've both put on some "love" pounds in the last 2 years.

    As of Jan 1st, we starting going to our campus gym together to get back in shape since we both are on a path for physically demanding careers. We alternate on the weight machines together and use free weights side by side and it's great to work as a team for a common yet individual goal.

    I want to lose weight and tone while he wants to build muscle and get some true abs. I use MFP and eat as healthy as I can while he eats (and drinks beer) as much as he wants. His drinking (quite heavily) is only on the weekends but still empty calories. It's been nearly 20 days for me on MFP and I feel no success in gaining muscle or losing weight (I do cardio 30min 5x/wk and weight train 4x/wk) while he is already showing more muscle (but still has baby beer belly) so it can be frustrating to have a partner in this journey. However, he has great knowledge of exercises from his conditioning days and is great at keeping me going.
  • ritmeyer
    ritmeyer Posts: 136 Member
    My husband and I are the couple that runs/bikes/races together double stroller/bike trailer in tow :eye roll: HA!!

    That being said, my husband is tall, thin and doesn't have to watch what he eats even a little bit to stay fit. While we were training last year for the rock n roll marathon (he full, me half) He lost 15 lbs while eating everything that wasn't nailed down. He complains that he can't gain weight. He does eat well...he just doesn't have to, that rat *kitten*!! He is so supportive of me and the fact that I have to watch what I eat. I have the best husband on the planet!
  • nixirain
    nixirain Posts: 448 Member
    This was a problem for me at first. I was on track with my weight and then fell in love. He took me out to the best resturants and showed me the foodie world. I have struggled for the last 2 years to find a happy medium with him. He still has no interest in working out and ordering healthy meals when we are out, but we do cook at home more. I have modified alot of my own recipes to be alot healthier. I have also used the website www.skinnytaste.com for alot of recipes at home. I have found this to be the most sucessful run yet. FYI- he doesnt always know that the recipes are healthier. I hope he hops on the excerise wagon. I kinda hate working out by myself. The only excerise I can get him to do is a 30 minute walk with our dog after work. I guess that is better than nothing!
  • juma4474
    juma4474 Posts: 64 Member
    It took awhile for my husband to get on the same page as I am. When I met him I was already well along on my journey of healthy eating and exercising. He was the guy who ate whatever, whenever and sat at the bar most nights because it was better than going home. He cut the bar out pretty quickly but it took some time for him to get use to eating healthier things than the fat laden garbage and all the baked goods he was use to.

    Now after almost 3 years and some effort on my part by recreating his favorite meals in a healthier way: he has really started to enjoy the healthier eating. He still isn't as strict as I am but when we go out he tries to chose a healthier option or he'll order the light portion, stuff like that. We have also cut out almost all desserts and junk food in our house except for on special occasions.

    He also just started working out. He use to do my DVD's with me once in awhile but I knew he didn't enjoy them very much. He did it because I wanted the company and he knew it made me happy. He has a much more active job than I do, so he burns more calories through out the day. But we recently purchased a treadmill, I hate running but have to for my new job, and he has become really addicted to the thing. He gets on their religiously on the nights I am not using it.

    Sometimes it can be a slow process for someone to get use to a healthy lifestylf if they weren't the ones who originally wanted the change, but it can happen.
  • Neil is very slender, between 135-140 at 5'10", so He doesn't need to lose, per se, but He is getting more health conscious as He has decided to start lifting weights, just to bulk up a little. He is super supportive. Best of luck to You.
  • jessig715
    jessig715 Posts: 25 Member
    I find that if I want my hsuabnd to get in shape....it's all about what I do! If I eat healthy, and make healthy meals, then he'll eat them....otherwise he'd be just like your boyfriend, eating whatever! But he has absolutely no interest in working out---doesn't like physical activity whatsoever, so that's not something we do together. Which yes, definitely makes things harder. My husband has the same thing...he carries all his weight in the belly, and you're right, it is scary, because they say that is one of the worst places to carry your weight! Hopefully if you keep motivated it will rub off on him! I always tell my husband I just want him to be healthy so he doesn't die 20 years before me:-)
  • Carrot1971
    Carrot1971 Posts: 272 Member
    My husband told me he would support me no matter what my goals were. The next time we went out for dinner he ordered smothered fries for an appetizer while I searched MFP app to see what I can have for dinner. Honestly, that didn't bother me. He eats chips, junk often but will eat the healthy meal I cook also. I don't push my eating habits on him and he knows not to bring home cupcakes, etc. But since losing almost 25# he is starting to look at himself and noticing his pants fit a little snug. He is commenting on how he needs to take lessons from me. He is not fat by any stretch of the imagination. I recently made him a MFP profile so he can see how many calories he is actually eating a day. He is starting to express an interest in working out with me. Once summer comes I think it'll be easier to get him motivated! But it has to come from him, not me! I think he's hot just the way he is...lol
  • psposey
    psposey Posts: 29 Member
    My better half is more of a yo-yo exerciser. She does better on eating than I do but doesn't stick with a workout routine. Would like her to join MFP but as it has already been said, the motivation needs to come from her.
  • Geminihuntress
    Geminihuntress Posts: 199 Member
    I don't have a partner and my kids are...well they are into their own lives, they don't make for a good support group. It's part of the reason why I'm glad I'm here. I can read and talk about ups and downs and I don't feel so alone in this.
  • I would have to say yes and no. He is eating better at least some of the time because I make dinner. But he won't give up his Mountain Dew still drinking 2 cans a day barely any water and he wonders why he is tired all the time. SInce we moved to Florida his job doesnt involve as much movement as his old job and its hard to get him to go for a walk. He likes to bike but I dislike mine so he rides with our son some of the time the more I lose the more he will do I am sure it has happened before. He does have cerebral paulsy so his balance isnt the best and it does effect his right side so some days I can not push too much.
  • RAFValentina
    RAFValentina Posts: 1,231 Member
    I was the same...got mine on board and he's probably better than me in terms of eating control, but I'm better at exercise! He's great at encouraging me! :)
  • Picola1984
    Picola1984 Posts: 1,133
    Some interesting replies!!

    I think the majority are lucky and have a partner that is supportive and involved in your healthy regime

    Lucky gits!
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    I am finding that this is my biggest obstacle in my weight loss journey. He wants NOTHING to do with healthy food options or working out. It's not that I want to make him do something that he doesn't want to do, but do you know how HARD it is for me to have all the JUNK food around me. Not to mention, I can't make healthy meals when he is home. I just have to make something he will like, and then watch my portions and make sure I get my workout in that day. It would be SO much easier if he was on the healthy lifestyle change with me :(


    UMMM, no you do not have to make something he will like. This is not the 1950s, you are in charge of your own life. My husband is welcome to make what ever he wants for dinner if he does not particularly like what I am cooking.

    Set your boundaries now, trust me, that control crap gets old after a while.
  • aftergypsies
    aftergypsies Posts: 248 Member
    My boyfriend has always worked out and and he's fit. I am almost a year into my new lifestyle of healthiness and I have to work out AND eat responsibly. My boyfriend on the other hand can eat whatever he wants and he does lol. Luckily I have gained a pretty good sense of self control so he can eat candy bars and cookies in front of me without me cheating. He's very supportive of my changes though and helps me out when I ask him to. I guess in a nutshell yes, he shares them but not the good eating habits.
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