would it be crossing a line to...

chanstriste13

give my neighbor some flowers?

we hear her through her walls and our own screaming and crying *extremely* loudly. it's happened on a few occassions over the course of about two years. she lives alone - young doctoral student. we *think* it must have to do with the stress of her program, but we're not sure. the first time we heard her, we thought someone she loved must have died, but then it happened again not long after.

i would like to leave a small boquet with a little note just telling her that i hope she has good days, but i don't know if that would be weird for her or not. we're not close - ocassionally housesit for each other and talk when we meet up on our driveway sometimes.

what say you?

karenjoy

hmmm this is difficult, because she might be embarrassed. She might also really appreciate it, thats a tough call

Avalonis

Leave her a nice note and flowers, but don't say who it's from.

It'll brighten her day and let her know people notice her, and not make things weird between you.

dinosnopro

sounds like a can of worms I wouldn't want to open, unless you are willing and have the time to hear some sob story ( not serious)

( kind of serious )

she would probably like it very much, it would be a very nice gesture.

AnaNotBanana

I think it would be awesome. Just look at it this way, how would you feel if someone gave you flowers just to brighten up your day? I know I'd love it!

MaximalLife

give my neighbor some flowers?

we hear her through her walls and our own screaming and crying *extremely* loudly. it's happened on a few occassions over the course of about two years. she lives alone - young doctoral student. we *think* it must have to do with the stress of her program, but we're not sure. the first time we heard her, we thought someone she loved must have died, but then it happened again not long after.

i would like to leave a small boquet with a little note just telling her that i hope she has good days, but i don't know if that would be weird for her or not. we're not close - ocassionally housesit for each other and talk when we meet up on our driveway sometimes.

what say you?

Nice gestures are always a go so long as your motives are pure.
Your situation is a perfect example.

Good Luck!

SinIsIn

I don't see what harm it could do. :flowerforyou:

ineedhelp18

i would do it

MB_Positif

Go for it, but I agree that it should be anonymous.

itontae

What a lovely thing to think of.
Pease do it.
You have brightened my day just posting that.
Thank you

bcampbell54

It would be a very kind gesture, and she need not know why you are doing it.

MaximalLife

Go for it, but I agree that it should be anonymous.

"Here are some flowers for you. I am always watching you"
anonymous

Something like that?

Destinie589

Leave her a nice note and flowers, but don't say who it's from.

It'll brighten her day and let her know people notice her, and not make things weird between you.

This!

Lona728

Leave her a nice note and flowers, but don't say who it's from.

It'll brighten her day and let her know people notice her, and not make things weird between you.

I agree 100% with this ^

JanetLM73

I think it's a nice gesture.

luv_lea

Leave her a nice note and flowers, but don't say who it's from.

It'll brighten her day and let her know people notice her, and not make things weird between you.

This. If I were having rough times this would brighten my day. It would be very nice thing on your part to do! But agree~ not putting who it's from would save you both from awkwardness.

BeckZombie

Go for it! I know I'd appreciate it if someone did that for me.

memcd911

Sweet gesture. More people should be like you.

2012Wendy

Go for it, but I agree that it should be anonymous.

"Here are some flowers for you. I am always watching you"

anonymous

Like that?

If I lived alone and got a note that someone was always watching me, I'd probably report it to the police! :laugh: Sorry, that would scare me a bit!

rthompson81

Well, I'm a single doctoral student. If my neighbors got me "pity" flowers or "sorry you're so stressed" flowers, I would be offended. I chose this route for my life. If my neighbors got me "just because" flowers I would be delighted. And if I got anonymous flowers, it would frustrate me because I would wonder who in the world had sent them and I wouldn't be able to enjoy them. That being said, I say choose the second option.

ArwenP

I think Valentines day is for friends too; and if she watches your house for you when you're gone, she's a friend, even if you aren't really close. I don't see any harm in giving her some flowers and just saying you appreciate her being a great neighbor.

ctaylor1983

Sadly she may not even know she screams/cries at night. My mum has severe anxiety attacks about going to bed and screams but if you talk to her about it the next day she doesn't know she has done it so there is the potential for embarrassment.

juliecat1

Nice gestures are always a go so long as your motives are pure.
Your situation is a perfect example.

Good Luck!

exactly. just a small understated bouquet and simple note wishing her a good day. Very sweet of you!

MaximalLife

Go for it, but I agree that it should be anonymous.

"Here are some flowers for you. I am always watching you"

anonymous

Like that?

If I lived alone and got a note that someone was always watching me, I'd probably report it to the police! :laugh: Sorry, that would scare me a bit!

I should send flowers with a similar note to all those who owe me money. :drinker:

As for the OP's situation, people reaching out to people is a good thing. Neighbors should get to know one another, and she does not need to know why.
We just wanted to say hello, because you are our neighbor.

EmpressOfJudgment

Leave her a nice note and flowers, but don't say who it's from.

It'll brighten her day and let her know people notice her, and not make things weird between you.

I agree with this.

firesoforion

I like the flowers and a note idea, though not a message that reveals that you know something's going on (odd as it sounds, even if she knows you know, bringing it up turns it from something appreciated to a little embarrassing). Just a note wishing her a good day or something sounds like a really nice gesture. When people are going through a hard time, reaching out to them is just a really great thing to do. :flowerforyou: for being so nice!

PoorGirlEatingHealthy

I would say to leave it anonymous because it might make her feel funny about de-stressing in the future if she knows you can hear her. I have some noisy neighbors myself but I would feel so weird saying that we could hear their business! It is also kinda awkward for us at times because if I can hear them they can certainly hear us!

lmelangley

Valentines is the perfect occasion. A small bouquet. But, I'd tell her who it was from. If she's living alone, she might think stalker... Just let her know it's no biggie- you saw them and thought of her and know she's got a lot on her plate and thought it might make her smile. Let her think it was a spur of the moment thing, only.

chefshawnpratt

do it. simply a kind gesture.

macpatti

It's sweet, but don't tell her it's because you hear her crying or anything. Sign the card so she knows it's from you, but say it's just to brighten her day because you know how hard school must be. Something like that.

MoonMyst3

A small bouquet. But, I'd tell her who it was from. If she's living alone, she might think stalker... Just let her know it's no biggie- you saw them and thought of her and know she's got a lot on her plate and thought it might make her smile. Let her think it was a spur of the moment thing, only.

This.... and how thoughtful of you!