Why You Became so BIG?

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lexik09
lexik09 Posts: 132 Member
What caused you to become so big?

Here's my story...

My story begins very young in childhood which is very painful for me and dug up some repressed memories with help of a psychologist. I actually blame my food addiction on my parents. Some of my earliest memories that I remember were about food. My mom never made healthy meals and made whatever whats easy and convenient which includes picking up a lot of fast food at least 5 times a week. Whenever I was sad my mom would always give me food to make me feel better which usually was cookies or candy. I remember eating a lot of boxed meals and foods that were in boxes or frozen meals which all were high in sodium and bad fat and I would always eat a lot every meal until i couldn't breathe. I was always ridiculed about my weight in school from my first day of Kintergarden till the day I graduated high school. So of course I felt worse about myself and I would fill my sadness with food because that is what was taught to me from early on to make me feel better. It comforted me and always made me feel better after I gorged myself in a half jar of peanut butter or an entire bag of potato chips. I would always sneak food after school when I was home alone or late at night when everyone was asleep. It was a vicious cycle and I was stuck in a continuous circle that I couldn't step out of. After I moved away from home at the age of 18 with these bad eating habits and in a horrible relationship all hell broke lose and gained 80lbs after high school weighing in at 336lbs at the age of 19. After kicking out the scum bag that was weighing me down, I decided to make simple changes in my life and started walking everywhere I went and managed to lose 40lbs. Now after being married to the love of my life and now having 2 babies with my husband I knew I needed to gain my life back and made that promise to myself after having my second baby. I promised myself I would not end up like my dad. My dad at the age of 28 was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes (which is only 2 years away for me) and lived in denial for years and didn't take care of himself diet, exercise and disease wise. The result of him not taking control of disease he underwent a triple bypass heart surgery. A few months after my wedding, my dad collapsed at a restaurant because both kidneys have failed and lived on dialysis for 9 months before my mom gave him a kidney. My dad has been in and out the hospital for years because of his diabetes and almost losing his life twice, it is heart breaking to watch him and my mom suffer emotionally because of it. I made a vow to myself that I get healthy are remain healthy for myself and my newly growing family because I refuse to end up like my dad. I want to give my girls the childhood I never had and I want to bring them up with good eating habits and knowing what is healthy and better for you options. I need to gain control and live for my family. They deserve it as well as I do. Since October 2011 after having my second child, I have been able to shed 50lbs. and being at a weight I haven't been since high school. With a new lifestyle comes with daily battles. I battle my addiction of food everyday, battle with myself to work out everyday and battle with myself to gain the willpower to do it! I am 100 pounds away from my goal weight where I am considered to be a healthy BMI but I think I have made wonderful progress already. If I can motivate at least 1 person I would feel accomplished. For those of you who think you can't DO it because you are a mom and are too busy, I am living proof that you CAN and I'm not stopping or letting anything stand in my way and I can not wait to post my before and afters when I reach my goal! It's a slow process but I know I'm getting there and taking it one painful pound at a time.
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Replies

  • nawazarrio
    nawazarrio Posts: 64 Member
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    My habits also started as a child. My mother raised me by herself and she has always been morbidly obese. She fed me the same things that she likes to eat; a lot of meat and potatoes, canned foods like spaghetti o's and raviolis, ice creams, boxed foods, and packaged things like cup cakes and such. She also didn't encourage me to be active. Instead we would watch television or read. I grew up watching my mother struggle in every day life. She had to ride the scooters at the grocery store and had to have me help her get things from the higher shelves. I had to do the more physical work around the house or when we were out. She could barely roll over in bed and her joints always hurt. She had a hard time getting to the bathroom on time because of her weight. At a very young age I decided that I didn't want to grow up to be like her. (Don't get me wrong, I love her but I don't want that life.) I didn't stick to my guns though. I got married and moved in with my husband, had three children while working and thought that I had no time. My weight was always through the roof. I was fifty pounds when I was in kindergarten. Five weeks ago I was 402 pounds. I am now 385 and working very hard to continue. It's just like you said, I have to fight with myself to exercise every day. I have to tell myself no and fight my addiction to food every day. It IS getting easier but it is by no means easy. Good luck to you and anyone else who is fighting the good fight. :)
  • 7funnygirl7
    7funnygirl7 Posts: 1,176
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    Awesome story! great for you to confront your emotional demons!! I am working on this now. I know I have carried emotional weight as well as just fat. Inspiring to know that when I am done accepting my emotional part of my weight, the rest will all fall into place. Thanks for sharing. Best Wishes to you.
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,565 Member
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    My wife and I fell into deep depression about 5 years ago.
    So instead of using our extra money to fix the house and save for later...we ate at the Cheesecake factory every other night.
    We thought we were eating well because the sandwich had chicken and avocados and tomatoes!
    But....http://eatthis.menshealth.com/slide/worst-club-sandwich?slideshow=98441
  • lexik09
    lexik09 Posts: 132 Member
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    My wife and I fell into deep depression about 5 years ago.
    So instead of using our extra money to fix the house and save for later...we ate at the Cheesecake factory every other night.
    We thought we were eating well because the sandwich had chicken and avocados and tomatoes!
    But....http://eatthis.menshealth.com/slide/worst-club-sandwich?slideshow=98441

    WOW!!! that is my whole daily fat and cals in one sandwich! YIKES!
  • christina0089
    christina0089 Posts: 709 Member
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  • curleyac
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    wow lexik09 thanks for sharing your story. well done on realising you wanted to lose weight and actually sticking to a plan and doing it! you have definitely helped to motivate me to stop gaining more weight each day and to start doing something to lose it instead. well done and best wishes for the future.
  • davecreed
    davecreed Posts: 151 Member
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    I was skinny when I was growing up...but being skinny doesn't mean you don't have a high body fat percentage and I thought I could eat whatever I wanted...lol opps
  • el93
    el93 Posts: 16
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    I was always in Representative sport and very active during High School, with a toned body, I always thought I was fat but when I look back now my body was good.

    I think my weight gain started when serious Relationships started, COMFY FAT!!! dining out alot, getting take away more often etc etc
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
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    Warning...this is going to be long :blushing:

    This is a HARD question to answer for me (this is my 2nd post here--I just started), because I have two reasons. My first reason is perfectly acceptable, understandable, reasonable and what I clung on to until last month (when I got a "wake-up" call by seeing the word OBESE on my doctors report). My reason...I felt perfectly justified in being "so big" because I was a SAHM , with a bunch of kids and my husband would never complain about my weight and I just had told myself I'm so busy, I don't have time to cook and chose good foods, because I'm taking care of all these little children all day long and had excuses that I don't like to cook, so let's just eat out or eat prepackaged foods for convenience sake...because I'm so busy being a homemaker and mom.

    I felt so sorry for myself that I was missing out on so many things in life by being a SAHM, that I would "treat" myself "good" and eat any and everything I want (sweets, goodies, junk) and since my husband doesn't complain, it must be okay.

    I'd zone out on the computer and any and everything to keep me busy on the off-times from my "thankless never ending job' of being a sahm. I grew from a size 4 to a size 20 in about 15 years. Then i REALLY started feeling sorry for myself and just became a couch potato and just grew and grew.

    Now to the other "REAL" reason I became so BIG...


    A lack of LOVE! Love for God, for myself, for my family for my friends...just loveless--again A CHOICE--I chose to accuse, excuse and do everything but LOVE!!!! Sounds simple doesn't it, because it is. In this short time period I hve completely given up so many things, things I chose to believe I didn't have a choice in. I've been living and believing a lie about Love and Life and the "spell" has been broken FOREVER! I know it with ALL that is in me. I'm seeing changing daily, right before my eyes and it's Awesome and Powerful and GOOD!!!

    Instead of being grateful to have a wonderful husband and beautiful family--I grumbled and complained and blamed everyone but myself

    Instead of taking the love and time to care for myself (and my family) I CHOSE to become sedentary (a.k.a. in my case LAZY nd just plain slothful ) .

    Instead of making healthy choices of meals, I chose the so-called "easy" way of restaurants, junk foods and convenient and quick (but fattening and unhealthy) meals--not just for me, but for my family too :o(

    Instead of surrounding myself with positive things, I Chose to listen to depressing news story, negativity in general, taking about others so as to not put the focus on myself--just plain ole laziness, foolishness, excuses, and more excuses.

    Long story short, for me, my reasons for becoming so "BIG" is:

    #1 being SELFISH

    2.) Being Ungrateful/Unthankful for the truly blessed life I have
    3.) Being slothful and lazy
    4.) BEING GREEDY/gluttonous
    5.) Choosing and "petting" excuses and having pity-parties instead of getting off my BIG BUTT and seeing the truth and instead of blaming my "woes" on everyone but me, choosing to do what it takes to be a good wife, good mom and good friend.

    When I saw that diagnosis of OBESE from my Doctor's Report (I went to the doctor, because I started getting these hideous rashes, that looked as gross as I felt--and of course, the doctor(s) didn't have a reason--but I KNEW...it was my:

    1.) Bad/poor Attitude about others even more than myself--but myself too
    2.) Bad/poor Food Choices
    3.) Bad/poor lifestyle choices

    I started a whole NEW lifestyle last month and I've lost 12 pounds, but more important I've lost:

    1.) my BAD attitude
    2.) my attraction to gossip, negativity watching, listening, reading negative crap
    3.) my desire to eat poor (I actually LOVE organic fruits, veggies and foods)
    4.) my despising my fabulous postion of being a SAHM wife and mom
    5.) my dread of exercise ( I actually LOVE exercise now)

    I really have a NEW ATTITUDE about not just my life, but life in general and I'm on my way--I haven't arrived (where I'm headed) but I've permanently LEFT where I was and I AINT looking back!!
  • RuthRW
    RuthRW Posts: 247 Member
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    My weight was up and down in high school (I worked at McDonalds and got free food) but stayed steady around 165, I'm 5'11, through college and afterwards. But I smoked a pack a day. I promised my hubby that I would quit and cut down to one cigarette at the end of the night. I also changed jobs and became much more sedentary and put on 30 lbs. Got pregnant after trying for several years and put on another 65 lbs. I topped out around 260 when I gave birth to my oldest, dropped down to 210 and then got pregnant with our other daughter. I weighed 230 when I gave birth and my weight fluctuated between 215 and 230 for the next couple years. I was always saying that I was going to start working out but never did.

    My youngest was diagnosed autistic, we knew there were developmental problems from birth but it took awhile for us to face the truth. I started feeding my face, feeling completely out of control of my life and future. I was 230 again, heading for God knows what weight and realized that I had to take control of this. My family needed me to be healthy and happy because there was too much pressure from other factors to add my crap into the mix.

    January 2011 I started paying attention to what I ate, bought an exercise dvd (Leslie Sansone walk away the pounds) and started working out a couple days a week. Found MFP in May 2011- weighed in at 218 - looking for healthy recipes and started logging my food and exercise. Its been an incredible resource for me, the support and information are great and the people are awesome!
  • weaverfit
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    My wife and I fell into deep depression about 5 years ago.
    So instead of using our extra money to fix the house and save for later...we ate at the Cheesecake factory every other night.
    We thought we were eating well because the sandwich had chicken and avocados and tomatoes!
    But....http://eatthis.menshealth.com/slide/worst-club-sandwich?slideshow=98441

    1,752 calories
    28 g saturated fat
    2,309 mg sodium
    85 g carbs

    What do they do - soak the bread in lard? That's crazy for a sandwich.
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
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    I was no longer living in poverty. So I ate with reckless abandon. After a year of that, I figured out my clothes were incredibly uncomfortable, and I was rather flabby. So now I eat with reckless abandon less often. I'm getting used to having food around, finally. :)
  • dalgal26
    dalgal26 Posts: 781 Member
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    I love food. All food. Plain and simple. :sad:
  • Angela_Freeborn
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    **Bump**
  • _Bob_
    _Bob_ Posts: 1,487 Member
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    Read my profile, but short story, active little kid, moved and got lazy and then kicked some *kitten* and joined the Army got really fit and then got injured and it took me down and I got huge
  • jrusso28
    jrusso28 Posts: 249 Member
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    Keep it up !!

    You can do this, do it for yourself FIRST and everyone else second !!
    You definitely have the right attitude.
    Your family will thank you for it.
  • weaverfit
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    I love food - and was still eating like I did when I was in my 20s. Metabolism has bogged down and I cannot eat like that anymore.
  • BPayton27
    BPayton27 Posts: 626 Member
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    My weight issues started in childhood as well. My mom fed my emotions. Happy? Eat! Sad? Eat! Tired? Eat! Angry? Eat more! She never cooked anything healthy. I've always battled depression as well, even as a kid I was emotional and had extreme highs and lows. I was not able to seek treatment for my depression until adulthood. My parents brushed it under the rug and denied I had a problem. Anyone who has ever gone through it knows it effects all facets of your life.

    I very clearly remember discovering my first stomach stretch mark at 9 years old and how it made me feel. That was the same year my family doctor recommended I join weight watchers. At 9. My sister was the "thin, pretty" one and I was the "fat, funny" one. Of course family drama and no self esteem played into it, but that's where it started. I didn't feel a lot of support as a kid and was not the "favorite." I was constantly being compared to my siblings.

    Now that I've lost 50 lbs my mom expresses how proud she is of me. I know that she has been proud of me before, but for some reason it hasn't felt like it "counted" until now.
  • leojsivad
    leojsivad Posts: 124 Member
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    My wife and I fell into deep depression about 5 years ago.
    So instead of using our extra money to fix the house and save for later...we ate at the Cheesecake factory every other night.
    We thought we were eating well because the sandwich had chicken and avocados and tomatoes!
    But....http://eatthis.menshealth.com/slide/worst-club-sandwich?slideshow=98441

    1,752 calories
    28 g saturated fat
    2,309 mg sodium
    85 g carbs

    What do they do - soak the bread in lard? That's crazy for a sandwich.

    It's a wonder what butter and mayonnaise will do to a sandwich.
  • sassygamma
    sassygamma Posts: 84 Member
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    Well my story started when i was young, i lived with my grandma and she loved her fried foods, her morning breakfast was 2 fried eggs, toast with 3 or 4 pats of butter on it. So i ate what she did, she didn't know a thing about food or eating right, all 3 of my sisters were also over weight, we all ate what she cooked....

    I remember her telling me that i needed to diet and when i decided to start watching my weight she would get on me about eating ketchup, she told me that it was to high in sugar so i would be better off using mayo, really but i didn't know any better so i did what she said. Well guess what i ended up gaining, ya think???? LOL

    So my weight loss just kept creeping on, and then i got pregnant, and i never lost any weight after any of my 4 kids. Well now at the age of 50 i know what i need to do, and i am doing it, i have been eating bad for so long and i know my kids picked up my bad habits, but i don't want my grandkids to pick up these bad habits, so US as a family, we are doing it together...

    But go figure i am the only one with a huge weight problem, but i am remedying that now, and i will be one hot grandma!!! LOL
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