Why You Became so BIG?

lexik09

What caused you to become so big?

Here's my story...

My story begins very young in childhood which is very painful for me and dug up some repressed memories with help of a psychologist. I actually blame my food addiction on my parents. Some of my earliest memories that I remember were about food. My mom never made healthy meals and made whatever whats easy and convenient which includes picking up a lot of fast food at least 5 times a week. Whenever I was sad my mom would always give me food to make me feel better which usually was cookies or candy. I remember eating a lot of boxed meals and foods that were in boxes or frozen meals which all were high in sodium and bad fat and I would always eat a lot every meal until i couldn't breathe. I was always ridiculed about my weight in school from my first day of Kintergarden till the day I graduated high school. So of course I felt worse about myself and I would fill my sadness with food because that is what was taught to me from early on to make me feel better. It comforted me and always made me feel better after I gorged myself in a half jar of peanut butter or an entire bag of potato chips. I would always sneak food after school when I was home alone or late at night when everyone was asleep. It was a vicious cycle and I was stuck in a continuous circle that I couldn't step out of. After I moved away from home at the age of 18 with these bad eating habits and in a horrible relationship all hell broke lose and gained 80lbs after high school weighing in at 336lbs at the age of 19. After kicking out the scum bag that was weighing me down, I decided to make simple changes in my life and started walking everywhere I went and managed to lose 40lbs. Now after being married to the love of my life and now having 2 babies with my husband I knew I needed to gain my life back and made that promise to myself after having my second baby. I promised myself I would not end up like my dad. My dad at the age of 28 was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes (which is only 2 years away for me) and lived in denial for years and didn't take care of himself diet, exercise and disease wise. The result of him not taking control of disease he underwent a triple bypass heart surgery. A few months after my wedding, my dad collapsed at a restaurant because both kidneys have failed and lived on dialysis for 9 months before my mom gave him a kidney. My dad has been in and out the hospital for years because of his diabetes and almost losing his life twice, it is heart breaking to watch him and my mom suffer emotionally because of it. I made a vow to myself that I get healthy are remain healthy for myself and my newly growing family because I refuse to end up like my dad. I want to give my girls the childhood I never had and I want to bring them up with good eating habits and knowing what is healthy and better for you options. I need to gain control and live for my family. They deserve it as well as I do. Since October 2011 after having my second child, I have been able to shed 50lbs. and being at a weight I haven't been since high school. With a new lifestyle comes with daily battles. I battle my addiction of food everyday, battle with myself to work out everyday and battle with myself to gain the willpower to do it! I am 100 pounds away from my goal weight where I am considered to be a healthy BMI but I think I have made wonderful progress already. If I can motivate at least 1 person I would feel accomplished. For those of you who think you can't DO it because you are a mom and are too busy, I am living proof that you CAN and I'm not stopping or letting anything stand in my way and I can not wait to post my before and afters when I reach my goal! It's a slow process but I know I'm getting there and taking it one painful pound at a time.

nawazarrio

My habits also started as a child. My mother raised me by herself and she has always been morbidly obese. She fed me the same things that she likes to eat; a lot of meat and potatoes, canned foods like spaghetti o's and raviolis, ice creams, boxed foods, and packaged things like cup cakes and such. She also didn't encourage me to be active. Instead we would watch television or read. I grew up watching my mother struggle in every day life. She had to ride the scooters at the grocery store and had to have me help her get things from the higher shelves. I had to do the more physical work around the house or when we were out. She could barely roll over in bed and her joints always hurt. She had a hard time getting to the bathroom on time because of her weight. At a very young age I decided that I didn't want to grow up to be like her. (Don't get me wrong, I love her but I don't want that life.) I didn't stick to my guns though. I got married and moved in with my husband, had three children while working and thought that I had no time. My weight was always through the roof. I was fifty pounds when I was in kindergarten. Five weeks ago I was 402 pounds. I am now 385 and working very hard to continue. It's just like you said, I have to fight with myself to exercise every day. I have to tell myself no and fight my addiction to food every day. It IS getting easier but it is by no means easy. Good luck to you and anyone else who is fighting the good fight.

7funnygirl7

Awesome story! great for you to confront your emotional demons!! I am working on this now. I know I have carried emotional weight as well as just fat. Inspiring to know that when I am done accepting my emotional part of my weight, the rest will all fall into place. Thanks for sharing. Best Wishes to you.

Helloitsdan

My wife and I fell into deep depression about 5 years ago.
So instead of using our extra money to fix the house and save for later...we ate at the Cheesecake factory every other night.
We thought we were eating well because the sandwich had chicken and avocados and tomatoes!
But....http://eatthis.menshealth.com/slide/worst-club-sandwich?slideshow=98441

lexik09

My wife and I fell into deep depression about 5 years ago.
So instead of using our extra money to fix the house and save for later...we ate at the Cheesecake factory every other night.
We thought we were eating well because the sandwich had chicken and avocados and tomatoes!
But....http://eatthis.menshealth.com/slide/worst-club-sandwich?slideshow=98441

WOW!!! that is my whole daily fat and cals in one sandwich! YIKES!

christina0089

check out my blog for my story.. or the majority of it! :ohwell:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/christina0089/view/a-little-of-my-story-long-and-boring-but-true-107123

curleyac

wow lexik09 thanks for sharing your story. well done on realising you wanted to lose weight and actually sticking to a plan and doing it! you have definitely helped to motivate me to stop gaining more weight each day and to start doing something to lose it instead. well done and best wishes for the future.

davecreed

I was skinny when I was growing up...but being skinny doesn't mean you don't have a high body fat percentage and I thought I could eat whatever I wanted...lol opps

el93

I was always in Representative sport and very active during High School, with a toned body, I always thought I was fat but when I look back now my body was good.

I think my weight gain started when serious Relationships started, COMFY FAT!!! dining out alot, getting take away more often etc etc

NewLIFEstyle4ME

Warning...this is going to be long :blushing:

This is a HARD question to answer for me (this is my 2nd post here--I just started), because I have two reasons. My first reason is perfectly acceptable, understandable, reasonable and what I clung on to until last month (when I got a "wake-up" call by seeing the word OBESE on my doctors report). My reason...I felt perfectly justified in being "so big" because I was a SAHM , with a bunch of kids and my husband would never complain about my weight and I just had told myself I'm so busy, I don't have time to cook and chose good foods, because I'm taking care of all these little children all day long and had excuses that I don't like to cook, so let's just eat out or eat prepackaged foods for convenience sake...because I'm so busy being a homemaker and mom.

I felt so sorry for myself that I was missing out on so many things in life by being a SAHM, that I would "treat" myself "good" and eat any and everything I want (sweets, goodies, junk) and since my husband doesn't complain, it must be okay.

I'd zone out on the computer and any and everything to keep me busy on the off-times from my "thankless never ending job' of being a sahm. I grew from a size 4 to a size 20 in about 15 years. Then i REALLY started feeling sorry for myself and just became a couch potato and just grew and grew.

Now to the other "REAL" reason I became so BIG...


A lack of LOVE! Love for God, for myself, for my family for my friends...just loveless--again A CHOICE--I chose to accuse, excuse and do everything but LOVE!!!! Sounds simple doesn't it, because it is. In this short time period I hve completely given up so many things, things I chose to believe I didn't have a choice in. I've been living and believing a lie about Love and Life and the "spell" has been broken FOREVER! I know it with ALL that is in me. I'm seeing changing daily, right before my eyes and it's Awesome and Powerful and GOOD!!!

Instead of being grateful to have a wonderful husband and beautiful family--I grumbled and complained and blamed everyone but myself

Instead of taking the love and time to care for myself (and my family) I CHOSE to become sedentary (a.k.a. in my case LAZY nd just plain slothful ) .

Instead of making healthy choices of meals, I chose the so-called "easy" way of restaurants, junk foods and convenient and quick (but fattening and unhealthy) meals--not just for me, but for my family too (

Instead of surrounding myself with positive things, I Chose to listen to depressing news story, negativity in general, taking about others so as to not put the focus on myself--just plain ole laziness, foolishness, excuses, and more excuses.

Long story short, for me, my reasons for becoming so "BIG" is:

#1 being SELFISH

2.) Being Ungrateful/Unthankful for the truly blessed life I have
3.) Being slothful and lazy
4.) BEING GREEDY/gluttonous
5.) Choosing and "petting" excuses and having pity-parties instead of getting off my BIG BUTT and seeing the truth and instead of blaming my "woes" on everyone but me, choosing to do what it takes to be a good wife, good mom and good friend.

When I saw that diagnosis of OBESE from my Doctor's Report (I went to the doctor, because I started getting these hideous rashes, that looked as gross as I felt--and of course, the doctor(s) didn't have a reason--but I KNEW...it was my:

1.) Bad/poor Attitude about others even more than myself--but myself too
2.) Bad/poor Food Choices
3.) Bad/poor lifestyle choices

I started a whole NEW lifestyle last month and I've lost 12 pounds, but more important I've lost:

1.) my BAD attitude
2.) my attraction to gossip, negativity watching, listening, reading negative crap
3.) my desire to eat poor (I actually LOVE organic fruits, veggies and foods)
4.) my despising my fabulous postion of being a SAHM wife and mom
5.) my dread of exercise ( I actually LOVE exercise now)

I really have a NEW ATTITUDE about not just my life, but life in general and I'm on my way--I haven't arrived (where I'm headed) but I've permanently LEFT where I was and I AINT looking back!!

RuthRW

My weight was up and down in high school (I worked at McDonalds and got free food) but stayed steady around 165, I'm 5'11, through college and afterwards. But I smoked a pack a day. I promised my hubby that I would quit and cut down to one cigarette at the end of the night. I also changed jobs and became much more sedentary and put on 30 lbs. Got pregnant after trying for several years and put on another 65 lbs. I topped out around 260 when I gave birth to my oldest, dropped down to 210 and then got pregnant with our other daughter. I weighed 230 when I gave birth and my weight fluctuated between 215 and 230 for the next couple years. I was always saying that I was going to start working out but never did.

My youngest was diagnosed autistic, we knew there were developmental problems from birth but it took awhile for us to face the truth. I started feeding my face, feeling completely out of control of my life and future. I was 230 again, heading for God knows what weight and realized that I had to take control of this. My family needed me to be healthy and happy because there was too much pressure from other factors to add my crap into the mix.

January 2011 I started paying attention to what I ate, bought an exercise dvd (Leslie Sansone walk away the pounds) and started working out a couple days a week. Found MFP in May 2011- weighed in at 218 - looking for healthy recipes and started logging my food and exercise. Its been an incredible resource for me, the support and information are great and the people are awesome!

weaverfit

My wife and I fell into deep depression about 5 years ago.
So instead of using our extra money to fix the house and save for later...we ate at the Cheesecake factory every other night.
We thought we were eating well because the sandwich had chicken and avocados and tomatoes!
But....http://eatthis.menshealth.com/slide/worst-club-sandwich?slideshow=98441

1,752 calories
28 g saturated fat
2,309 mg sodium
85 g carbs

What do they do - soak the bread in lard? That's crazy for a sandwich.

sarah44254

I was no longer living in poverty. So I ate with reckless abandon. After a year of that, I figured out my clothes were incredibly uncomfortable, and I was rather flabby. So now I eat with reckless abandon less often. I'm getting used to having food around, finally.

dalgal26

I love food. All food. Plain and simple. :sad:

Angela_Freeborn

**Bump**

_Bob_

Read my profile, but short story, active little kid, moved and got lazy and then kicked some *kitten* and joined the Army got really fit and then got injured and it took me down and I got huge

jrusso28

Keep it up !!

You can do this, do it for yourself FIRST and everyone else second !!
You definitely have the right attitude.
Your family will thank you for it.

weaverfit

I love food - and was still eating like I did when I was in my 20s. Metabolism has bogged down and I cannot eat like that anymore.

BPayton27

My weight issues started in childhood as well. My mom fed my emotions. Happy? Eat! Sad? Eat! Tired? Eat! Angry? Eat more! She never cooked anything healthy. I've always battled depression as well, even as a kid I was emotional and had extreme highs and lows. I was not able to seek treatment for my depression until adulthood. My parents brushed it under the rug and denied I had a problem. Anyone who has ever gone through it knows it effects all facets of your life.

I very clearly remember discovering my first stomach stretch mark at 9 years old and how it made me feel. That was the same year my family doctor recommended I join weight watchers. At 9. My sister was the "thin, pretty" one and I was the "fat, funny" one. Of course family drama and no self esteem played into it, but that's where it started. I didn't feel a lot of support as a kid and was not the "favorite." I was constantly being compared to my siblings.

Now that I've lost 50 lbs my mom expresses how proud she is of me. I know that she has been proud of me before, but for some reason it hasn't felt like it "counted" until now.

leojsivad

My wife and I fell into deep depression about 5 years ago.
So instead of using our extra money to fix the house and save for later...we ate at the Cheesecake factory every other night.
We thought we were eating well because the sandwich had chicken and avocados and tomatoes!
But....http://eatthis.menshealth.com/slide/worst-club-sandwich?slideshow=98441

1,752 calories
28 g saturated fat
2,309 mg sodium
85 g carbs

What do they do - soak the bread in lard? That's crazy for a sandwich.

It's a wonder what butter and mayonnaise will do to a sandwich.

sassygamma

Well my story started when i was young, i lived with my grandma and she loved her fried foods, her morning breakfast was 2 fried eggs, toast with 3 or 4 pats of butter on it. So i ate what she did, she didn't know a thing about food or eating right, all 3 of my sisters were also over weight, we all ate what she cooked....

I remember her telling me that i needed to diet and when i decided to start watching my weight she would get on me about eating ketchup, she told me that it was to high in sugar so i would be better off using mayo, really but i didn't know any better so i did what she said. Well guess what i ended up gaining, ya think???? LOL

So my weight loss just kept creeping on, and then i got pregnant, and i never lost any weight after any of my 4 kids. Well now at the age of 50 i know what i need to do, and i am doing it, i have been eating bad for so long and i know my kids picked up my bad habits, but i don't want my grandkids to pick up these bad habits, so US as a family, we are doing it together...

But go figure i am the only one with a huge weight problem, but i am remedying that now, and i will be one hot grandma!!! LOL

apple2107

Hmm ... I'm used to be a little overweight, but during 2006 summer, I was able to lose those extra weights, 11 lbs if I remember correctly. I was good until summer 2009, when we were preparing to take college entrance exam. Some in America wouldn't know about this, but in our country, students only have one chance per year to take a nation-wide exam to study in the college we chose, failing this would be waiting a whole another year for another chance to get to college, and quite frankly, not getting into college in Viet Nam meaning you are an utter failure

I gained quite a lot of weight during those summers preparing the exam, anyway. I attempted plenty of times afterward to lose weights, but then I just gave up and my weight keeps increasing, until last November when I finally decide to lose weight once and for all

Kenzietea2

a combination of depression, injury, and surgery.

I've never been skinny, but I *loved* my body in high school. Curvy and Athletic.
I was in a special program for USMA, but then injured myself. I was medically DQ'd, went through a tumultuous breakup, became depressed, and then basically lived a sedentary lifestyle after my surgery (but never changed my eating habits). So I gained weight without even realizing it until I saw some pictures and got my butt in gear.

leaso75581

very inspirational. i believe we all have some sort of emotional attachment to food, one way or another. i am now starting to realize that i do as well...it's nice to know that i'm not alone, and that you are overcoming your obstacles one day at a time. i will keep your family in prayer.

Skeebee

When I was young, I was very skinny. I began to hang out with a friend (which ended up being an 11 year friendship) whose family believed that having "3 hotdogs for dinner was ok..." and had junk food/snacks/candy....every bad but oh-so-yummy food in exceess. The entire family was overweight. Their 3 year old son gained 40lbs in a year.....NOT normal. He went from cute/skinny to an obese child....it was quite bad.

But, being spoiled I was always over there eating thinking nothing of it. When my dad was laid off, it was even moreso a good thing because I was costing less food for my family. If i did eat at home, it was mac n cheese or spagetti sauce....sometimes, we would buy the 10 cent burgers from mcdonalds and freeze them so that was often dinner. This went on through high school up until my graduation.

By then, I was considered morbidly obese. I managed to lose 20lbs my senior year. My friendship had ended with the family and I went my separate ways. A bad relationship for 3 1/2 years ended up packing on more weight for me. After we broke up, I realized I needed to take care of myself and deserved better. Lost 40lbs....a few years later with school...gained back 50. :-(

Well, years have passed and hormones have changed. the same things I did before don't get the weight off, I have severe allergies now, and have gone for metabolic testing. I'm down almost 20lbs now and working to get that 50lbs back off. Right now, I'm about 80lbs overweight. So, if I lose all my weight, it will be 100lbs lost!!! Working on the mini goals. :-)

rudzud

Was always in decent enough shape throughout college, but upon graduation I worked for a year as head chef at a rather nice italian restaurant. The very long hours combined with the fact that I don't smoke led me to eat alot throughout the day. Then when I left that job and got a gig with the state I stared to make good money. With that came the luxory of eatting or drinking basically whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I ate really good for almost 3 years and got even more into craft beer. Combine the good food with a quest to review as many different beers I could led to the weight gain. The constantly fluxuating work schedule and 60+ hour work weeks didnt help much either.

Now its time to get back into the shape I was in my college days while still doing what I enjoy.

BSummers321

Depression, I was quite thin as a child and wasn't really a foodie, but I started getting bullied and got depressed and well...ate and ate till I felt better. I feel like a doubled in size in the space of a few years, the worst I felt the more I ate and boy did it help. Chocolate was my poison, I remember on bad days I would buy multi-packs of crisps/chips take them to by room and just chomp down. I didn't really care about myself at that point, let alone my health, that was quite a few years ago! Now before I started MFP, I thought I was eating healthy (because eating less somehow = eating unhealthy in my mind) and found that I was eating far below 1200 (700 calories most nights) and have been doing that for a long time. It's strange though, now if I'm having a "bad day" I lose my appetite all together and have to force myself to eat. I'm glad MFP is here to encourage me, I've been doing well so far, I haven't missed a day so far

GinaJDarling

It took me a long time to figure out why I got so big... I had the perfect high school expirence. Thank god nothing tragic has happened to me. I had everything but a scale in my life. I never knew how big I was. Now that I have a scale in my life the last couple a months. I'm in check!

EvaiTryst

I was a chunky kid but mildly active. Weigh 120 pounds when I got out of high school. When I met my husband I was up to 140... two years after high school. My husband and I drank A LOT! Ate fast food... didn't do anything else besides that. The weight packed on. When I had my son almost three years ago... I didn't gain much weight during pregnancy but toward the end... was on bed rest because my blood pressure spiked. After an emergency c-section and the doctors very nearly losing me and my son... It's unreal when I see the pictures of myself. Somewhere between prediabetes and my own personal realization it came to me... I don't want to be this way... I have a fatty liver... I topped out at 205 pounds... What was I doing?
I can't blame my parents. They're both slightly overweight but not morbidly obese... We were active as kids. I tried to blame my husband but when it came down to it... I was the one accountable. Beer and fast food... it'll kill ya.

bookdame

Lexi,

Your story is so inspiring. I didn't want to post because I am not "big" but I do have a food addiction. Food has been a comfort to me (love) and my obsession with my looks (hate) have run my life. I run away from my horrid self image by eating to take my mind off of it--- to knock myself out of my own thoughts.

I am battling this every day and although I haven't even lost 1 pound, i am inspired by your story to try to eat healthy, have a healthy relationship with food and exercise. I have also gone the opposite way: obsessing on eating very little and exercising myself down to skin and bones... that is a worse feeling than being overweight.

I am so inspired by everyone who's battled food addiction who is actively changing their lives. It gives me alot of strength to not hate what I have been unable to control for so long.

kwest_4_fitness

I was always thin as a child and by today's standards, I was a healthy teenager. However, going to high school with girls who were 5 ft tall and weight 100 lbs with rocks in their pockets was hell on a 5'7" 140 lb girl with a C-cup. Needless to say, I felt like an overweight Amazon compared to those girls. After high school, never being all that active any way, I got pregnant, got lazy, and there you have it. FAT, FAT, FAT. Now the child is grown and the nest is empty. Mama can work on herself and become better than I ever was!