Bridesmaids

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  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,298 Member
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    I am going to be a bridesmaid in my brother's August wedding and he's purchasing my dress for me, but the rest of the ladies are purchasing their own dresses. The dress is about $200, but to me it's worth it to be apart of my brother's special day, something I would be more than happy to buy. They gave all of us about 12 month's notice so we could get our finances in order to be able to buy the dress.
  • Shayyy01
    Shayyy01 Posts: 290 Member
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    You are very generous if you are offering to pay for part of their dresses. If its in your budget do it, if not thats okay too. I sat down with my bridesmaids and had them tell me a number they were comfortable spending on a dress. Then i actually had three of my bridesmaids pick out the dress. I took myself out of it for the most part.

    Shoes and accessories is on them, i dont have matching jewlery or anything of that matter that i want them to wear, to each their own, i dont want clones up there with me i want the individuals i love up there with me =)

    I will get them a bracelet as part of their gift, but in no way are they forced to wear it, if they want to they can.

    All i told my girls is, if you bend over i dont want to see your britney. Lol =)
  • Danpellizzari
    Danpellizzari Posts: 130
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    When I stood up in a wedding I paid for my tux.

    I think if u ask someone to join your wedding party they should be honored to be a part of your special day and assume they are paying for their outfits. If you choose to contribute that should be your option.
  • aprilgicker
    aprilgicker Posts: 395 Member
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    As a Wedding Planner speaking here, they should pay for their dress. There are many reasons for this. YOu as the bride ask friends to see you of to your new life. Their commitment to YOU is buying the dress. It is like signing a contract that says.

    "I will Gladly and to the best of my ability help you in anyway necessary. I promise to complain about how the dress makes me look. As I will not look as good as you will, because you, the Bride are the center of the day. I promise to pay for this dress and all of its accessories and be responsible for myself, because if I don't I will not be in your wedding. And knowing that you asked me to make this financial commitment, I will not cancel on you last minute, forget to throw you a bachelorette party, or a shower, make sure you have boze, cigs, and drugs the day of, or anything else that you, The Bride ask of me for your wedding."

    Congratulations!
  • bhalter
    bhalter Posts: 582 Member
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    I've always paid for everything in the weddings I've been in - dress, shoes, hair, etc. I spent $180 on a super ugly dress a few years ago. -.-

    I'm getting married in January and we're paying for the suits/dresses for our wedding party. (They will be responsible for shoes, etc.) We though are getting married in Florida (we're from the Midwest), and since they are willing to come out for our destination wedding, we wanted to help them out and at least buy their dresses and suits.
  • hmseals
    hmseals Posts: 30
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    When I got married my bridesmaids paid for their own dresses and shoes.
  • KMSForLife
    KMSForLife Posts: 605
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    I only had one matron-of-honor - my sister. We picked her dress off of a clearance rack and I paid for it - we just looked for a beautiful dress and the color and style really didn't matter because it was just her. I wanted my friends to come but it required all of them to travel and pay for overnight accomodations as we had a wedding away from home. I wanted them to be able to be there with me and enjoy the day so I opted not to have a big bridal party. In looking back, I wouldn't have had it any other way - it was perfect.
  • k7n2w3
    k7n2w3 Posts: 241 Member
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    I'm in a wedding in April and we paid for our shoes, dress, and will for hair/makeup etc Dress and shoes ended up like $300ish maybe?? the shoes are gorgeous and we weren't expected to buy the $70 pair but we all fell in love with them and she asked for our input on the dress and cost and we were all fine with what she chose (she would have chose less if we were not ok with cost). The others makeup and hair will cost them a lot (their choice) but I am getting a friend to do mine for free. Normally the bridesmaids also pay for the Bridal shower but luckily the mother in laws did. It is customary to also pay for the bride's share of the Bachelorette party (also up to the bridesmaids). And on the wedding day the Bride usually gives a gift to the bridesmaids for all of their help and support. Granted there are so many customs in different areas, religions, age groups, incomes etc, but this is from my experience and other friends experiences :-) Basically my experience is that the bridesmaids pay for a lot of things but the bride seems to consider their wallet size before choosing various aspects. Hope that helps!
  • alyssaanagram
    alyssaanagram Posts: 73
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    My bridesmaids are paying for their own dresses and accessories (especially since my party is up to 10 girls at this point). But I'm being really open about what dress we all decide on so that its within a good price range/looks good on everyone. But I'll probably get them all matching accessories and take them out to afternoon tea a few weeks prior to the wedding.
  • rebecca_d35
    rebecca_d35 Posts: 131
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    I only had one bridesmaid--my sister. And I told her she could wear whatever fabulous dress she wanted. So she bought it, but it really was a dress she'd wear again.

    A friend of mine was just a bridesmaid and the bride told her and the others that they could wear any black cocktail dress. The pictures look great--not stuffy but still coordinated.
  • SenoraMacias
    SenoraMacias Posts: 305 Member
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    My girls bought their dresses and shoes, but they were able to choose both themselves. I didn't mandate that they buy a crazy expensive dress or shoes. I bought their jewelry. I told them if they wanted their hair or makeup done, they could pay for it, but I didn't mind if they didn't get professional hair and makeup done.
  • sasbw27
    sasbw27 Posts: 710 Member
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    My bridesmaids paid for their dresses and shoes. I gave them their jewelry and paid for their makeup as my gift. Also gave them matching clutches at our dinner the night before.
  • Amber82479
    Amber82479 Posts: 629 Member
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    In our wedding, everyone was responsible for their own dress, shoes, tux, etc... I gave our bridesmaids their jewelry as a gift, paid for their hair and makeup day of and gave each a gift card for their favorite store.
  • WhittRak
    WhittRak Posts: 572 Member
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    I had my bridesmaids pay for their own shoes and dress, except for my maid of honor. I did buy them jewelry to go with the dresses as well. And trust me...a lot of complaining went along with it.
  • mrsclairelucas
    mrsclairelucas Posts: 5
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    I paid for all my bridesmaid's dresses and they paid for me to go to my hen-party, my hair/makeup and bought their own accessories, which looks to be the opposite of what everyone else decided but my number of bridesmaids was set by my budget because I wanted it to be a really special thing to ask them, and they know how much they meant to me because I was paying for them to be there (and they helped with loads of the planning, organised an amazing hen party for me etc etc).
  • Carrot1971
    Carrot1971 Posts: 272 Member
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    In my wedding my girls paid for their own dresses which they got to pick out. However, my soon to be sister in law dropped out of my wedding AFTER getting fitted for her dress. I had to ask another out of town friend to fill for me. Worked out that she was close to the same size. But, I made my sister in law pay for her dress to give to my friend. It was too close to the wedding to be able to order another one.
  • marquesajen
    marquesajen Posts: 641
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    My situation was a little different. I told my girls to just pick whatever black dress they wanted and they all ended up with the same one (one girl bullied the others into getting the same thing) and the dress was on sale for $20. I couldn't have afforded to help them buy a dress and I didn't care what they wore really so it worked out. If you can afford to help them out, do it. They're going to wear that dress once, no matter what anyone says bridesmaids rarely if ever wear their BM dress again.
  • wave143j
    wave143j Posts: 74 Member
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    Oh how I wish my sister would read this thread. She's getting married in June and I am her matron of honor, my 2 oldest girls are jr. maids of honor, my youngest daughter is jr bridesmaid, and my son is an usher. That is 5 outfits to pay for. When I told her I had put back $800.00 as my budget for everything I needed for the wedding, she asked if I could borrow from someone. I love my sis and want her to have a great wedding but this is going to set me back quite a bit.
  • JNettie73
    JNettie73 Posts: 1,208 Member
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    Congrats on your upcoming wedding! :flowerforyou:

    In all of the weddings I have been in, I had to purchase my own dress and shoes. The bride in one wedding gave us the jewelry as a gift. Another wedding I was in, the bride told us exactly what accessories to purchase and we did. In each wedding I also paid for my own alterations.

    For my wedding I had my bridesmaids purchase their own dress and shoes. I gave the jewelry as part of their bridesmaid gifts. However I did purchase two dresses for my jr. bridesmaids - my husband's sisters. His dad, stepmom and sisters live in another state and were coming in from out of town. Considering they had to pay for air fair, hotel and a rental car I did not feel right about having them pay for the dresses too. The dresses were around $150 plus alterations. I made sure I picked out a dress that my bridesmaids could wear again if they wanted to. (I did this because I had a stack of dresses in my closet that were too bridesmaid-esque and could not be worn again.) Our groomsmen paid for their tux rentals.

    I think it is extremely generous that you want to help pay for your bridesmaid dresses. If you are able to budget for it and help them out then do it. But keep in mind weddings can be very expensive for the couple getting married. It is not nor should it be expected that the couple getting married pays for the dresses/tuxes. (At least in my experiences) When it comes down to it, it is your wedding. You can pretty much do whatever you want.
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
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    I think it's time to step away from tradtion and look at each wedding individually. The answer may be different for each attendant in your wedding.

    If people are more important than dresses for your wedding and you knowingly will put a hardship on someone who you want in the wedding, then offer to help with the price of being included.

    If the dress you choose has no value after the wedding (meaning it really won't ever be worn again) then I believe helping to absorb some or all of the cost is helpful and a very thoughtful gesture.

    If it's a dress someone can and will want to wear in the future and you've given adequate budgeting time, then I don't think asking her to pay for the dress is out of line as that is tradition.

    It could come to be that you pay for the entire dress for one, part for another, and yet another attendant pays for her dress. I can't imagine friends being hurt how you go about your special day if they find out. Meeting people at their need is never wrong.

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