Bridesmaids

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  • cbu23
    cbu23 Posts: 280 Member
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    When my best friend got married she had the girls pay for their dresses. However, it was a beach wedding and she found really simple sundresses that she loved and they were only $60. They are actually dresses you would wear again! She did buy everyone's jewelry and flip flops (again, beach wedding only wore the flip flops before and after ceremony) as the bridesmaids gift. I thought that was fair.
  • aprilgicker
    aprilgicker Posts: 395 Member
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    Oh how I wish my sister would read this thread. She's getting married in June and I am her matron of honor, my 2 oldest girls are jr. maids of honor, my youngest daughter is jr bridesmaid, and my son is an usher. That is 5 outfits to pay for. When I told her I had put back $800.00 as my budget for everything I needed for the wedding, she asked if I could borrow from someone. I love my sis and want her to have a great wedding but this is going to set me back quite a bit.

    SOrry to troll this one. But you should tell her no to someone. YOu will be of no use to her on her wedding day if you have to get your whole family together too. As a Matron of honor your job is to be with the bride 100% of the time. SHe is doing herself a disservice by strapping you with the majority of the wedding party todo's
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    I can't imagine friends being hurt how you go about your special day if they find out.
    Haha seriously?
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
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    I can't imagine friends being hurt how you go about your special day if they find out.
    Haha seriously?

    Yes. Seriously.

    If you have friends who can't get a grasp around finances, then you really don't have a friend. You have an acquaintance and should strongly consider changing the line up of your Rolodex.
  • KateB1982
    KateB1982 Posts: 107 Member
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    My bridesmaids paid for their dresses and my groomsmen paid for their tuxedos. I did pay for one of my friends because she had lost her job and didn't have the money and I wanted her in my wedding so it was worth it to me

    ^^^ I did the same thing.

    ETA: I also gave the jewelry as a gift.
  • angied80
    angied80 Posts: 749
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    Im in my friends destination wedding in florida in march. Im paying for my dress.. and my plane ticket.. that is their wedding gift.... 700.00 laterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.. whew!
  • KMSForLife
    KMSForLife Posts: 605
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    Im in my friends destination wedding in florida in march. Im paying for my dress.. and my plane ticket.. that is their wedding gift.... 700.00 laterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.. whew!

    Yikes :ohwell: You're a good friend!
  • klkelley
    klkelley Posts: 122 Member
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    My daughter is getting married in June and 2 of her bridesmaids do not have the money for their dresses, so I am paying for the dress and they are buying their shoes. I think it is whatever you choose; however the "norm" is for them to pay for their own.
  • cgrout78
    cgrout78 Posts: 1,679 Member
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    I paid for the bridesmaid dresses when I got married, also paid to have their hair and makeup done and jewelry. They only had to buy their own shoes.

    I realize I'm probably the exception to the rule though.
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
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    i've been in a lot of wedding parties, the cost of your clothing is part of the commitment when you agree to do it. it's not cheap to be in a friend's wedding. but most of my friends have been good about it. though i have heard of ppl who've dropped nearly a grand to be a bridesmaid. the party gifts, and the dress, and the shoes, and the jewelry, and the travel, and the ones for the strippers, it adds up.

    i will say, i was a groomsman last year and that kinda ROCKED. it was so much cheaper.
  • dida0721
    dida0721 Posts: 107 Member
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    Bridesmaids buy there own dresses and shoes.
  • scardone
    scardone Posts: 40
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    My bridesmaids paid for their dresses that I chose. However, I let them choose any shoe in black to wear, so they could decide themselves if they wanted to shell out a lot of money or use shoes they already had. I gifted them with earrings, crystal hair pins and a cocktail ring so they didn't have to pay for accessories. I also made their hair and makeup OPTIONAL as I couldn't afford to pay for it all myself. Most girls chose to do both anyway, it seemed to be more convenient for them. Of course, if I had a friend who absolutely couldn't afford the dress or shoes I would have pitched in to get it for her. I think most ladies expect to pay for their dresses, and $150 isn't bad. I've heard of brides demanding their friends buy dresses upwards of $400!
  • nerdyandilikeit
    nerdyandilikeit Posts: 2,185 Member
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    I paid for the dress and shoes for my sister's wedding in July. The last time I was a bridesmaid, the bride's mom made these awful things for us to wear, so it was a non-issue.

    I really didn't mind, because a) it's my sister and I'm honored to be in her bridal party, b) my sister's a tight wad, so I knew it would be a good deal, and c) the dress and shoes are both GORGEOUS and I can totally wear them outside of a wedding situation.

    Win-win-win.
  • Michelle_Nicole
    Michelle_Nicole Posts: 95 Member
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    I was in two weddings and for both the bridesmaid had to pay for their own dress,shoes, hair etc. The bride did get us all bridesmaid gifts that had the accessories that she wanted us to wear though. My own wedding in next year and I already told my girls they are buying their own stuff and if they couldnt afford it let me know now so I can find someone else to do it. I am however trying to find dresses that arent too expensive so they dont spend a ton!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Well, I am old-school, but I think it's incredibly rude to ask someone to do you a favor, tell them they have to wear THIS dress, and THESE shoes, and THIS jewelry, and force them to pay for all of it. And if they can't afford it, you're putting them in a position of having to say "Sorry, I can't be in your wedding."

    I believe you do not have the right to impose financial hardship on other people and use the friendship as a weapon (i.e. if you were really my friend, you'd understand that this is my special day, and I should get what I want, and you should just deal with it).

    But again, in today's "ME ME ME! EVERYTHING IS ABOUT ME!" generation, most people don't look at it that way.
  • jadedone
    jadedone Posts: 2,449 Member
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    Here is what has happened to me as a bridesmaid:
    1. Bought dress, shoes. The bride gifted the jewelry and paid for makeup and hair (she was the most affluent bride). Bride chose dress style with our input.
    2. Wedding was in Hawaii: bride bought us dress, shoes and jewelry since we came to Hawaii. Bride chose dresses with our input.
    3. Bought dress, shoes, hair and makeup. Bride bought jewelry (fits in with her normal behavior, she isn't a "buy you lunch type." This wedding did require cross country travel. Bride chose fabric, color and brand. We chose the style.
  • leannems
    leannems Posts: 516 Member
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    This is a total it depends question.

    Ultimately - you and your fiance are asking people to be in your wedding who you are close with. That type of relationship makes it easy for the couple and the wedding party to have honest discussions with one another.

    If a member of the wedding party thinks they can't afford something - they should be willing to tell you, and politely offer to step down if you also cannot afford to help them out. It's then up to you to decide if you can arrange your budget to have them be in your wedding or not. If you (or your husband, or mother - or whomever is the person who selected that person to be in the wedding party) doesn't have that type of relationship with the person - then maybe that person shouldn't be in the wedding party.

    To the OP - it's awesome that you're willing to kick in, but whether you need to will simply depend on the person. I've been in two weddings; one while still in school and one after. While in school, the bride was super understanding about me not being able to afford certain things, and helped out where she could. She was considerate on picking a low-cost dress, and understood when I couldn't make it to her shower because I was in school out of state. For the one after school - I fully paid for everything, including all the gifts/food/drink for the bridal shower. I was able to afford it and it was my pleasure to do so. But even if I couldn't have afforded it, I know the bride well enough to have easily told her I needed help - and she would have understood.
  • schnugglebug
    schnugglebug Posts: 333 Member
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    I am getting married in October this year... and my bridesmaid and maid of honor bought their own dresses... about 80$ each... I bought them a shawl(pashima) in the wedding color to go with it... ( got them for 5$ on sale could not say no)
    They also bought their own shoes...

    WE discussed it all before hand... I would have gladly helped them in any way...

    The Men are renting their own tuxes/vests etc in the color we chose as well...
  • Michelle_Nicole
    Michelle_Nicole Posts: 95 Member
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    I can't imagine friends being hurt how you go about your special day if they find out.
    Haha seriously?

    Yes. Seriously.

    If you have friends who can't get a grasp around finances, then you really don't have a friend. You have an acquaintance and should strongly consider changing the line up of your Rolodex.

    I have a situation like this now, my Fiancee's sister pretty much demanded she be in our wedding and is now complaining about the dress I like and everything else we are doing. She also doesnt understand why she has to pay for her dress and other things, she feels we should pay for it all. It kills me cause all I want to do is tell her, if you have an issue with it dont be int he wedding but its his sister so my hands are kinda tied
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
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    We got married about 2 and a half years ago, and we paid for everything, the bridesmaids dresses, their shoes, hair and makeup, the best man and ushers suits and we also gave them all a gift too, but I know that other people have made different arrangements Just do what works for you and don't worry about other people. xXx,

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