Overcoming an Eating Disorder...

Rruni1

Is anyone else here struggling AGAINST an eating disorder? It's a scary thing to let go of, and I was kind of hoping to find some more people who were trying to leave their ED behind. :] Support and all that fun stuff, yes? :flowerforyou:

Helloitsdan

I am not but I can help you figure this stuff out and get you into a group of highly supportive, high calorie friends!

Lifelesson

i am

hyper_focus

I am. I've struggled with various unhealthy eating patterns since childhood, all related to being overweight and harassed. I'm hoping that by losing weight and getting to a healthy, fit size will raise my self esteem and I'll finally "get over it"

imworthit

This is about the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.

CameronYKB

I ate because I was bored or depressed. So yeah. Its the hardest thing ever

emilymeanssuccess

I've dealt with overeating and anorexia. But it's possible to overcome! Your never alone.

theoriginaljayne

I am.
It's hard, but it is possible to beat it.
Add me if you like, I would be happy to support you.

TurnLeftNow

I am trying to overcome mine, if I even technically have one. Sometimes I am not so sure.

I don't eat enough calories and every day I say I am going to put some weight back on and eat more because it's healthier, but every day it doesn't happen. I really do want to overcome whatever this is to be able to eat, be healthy and be stronger.

It's rough. Especially on here. I want to try and use this site to help me get to a good maintenance of calories but it seems to do the opposite and make me afraid to eat when I see the numbers go up too high.

bfhayes

Hey I have struggled with Bullimia Nervosa since I was a senior in high school. I am now a sophomore in college. I have been binge eating for much longer than that. I thought initially that the reason I would throw up was due to my anxiety disorder but through therapy I have come to realize that it is this eating disorder, that causes me to want to act in such a way. For the last three months I have been in a lot greater control than previously. I love to be supportive and I can try to help you the best way that I can. Because I have been, and still am to some extent, there. I just want to be healthy and giving in to an eating disorder isn't the way to do it. Let me know if you need to chat

lalalalalaflying

Hello everyone.
As a child I was very skinny, in fact, I was underweight according to doctors. When I was about 6 years old, my parents got a divorce. It destroyed me. I started eating for comfort and I gained a lot of weight.
I kept at this until I was about 17 years old, when I started eating more healthy and I started exercising.
I was losing a fair amount, and things were going fine. However, I still wasn't happy with my body, my stomach was flabby, so were my arms and thighs. I hated it and it felt like I'd worked so hard for nothing.

After my eighteenth birthday I stated restricting what I ate. Not too much to start with, but it progressively got worse.
I have been what you would call "anorexic" for the past 6 months or so. I've lost a ton of weight very quickly. Yet, my stomach is still flabby and my thighs look disgusting.

Three days ago my mother had a serious talk with me and I've started eating more these past days.
My diet normally consisted of 300 - 400 calories/day. Now I am forced to eat all three meals plus snacks (about 1.200 cals/day total)

I feel constantly bloated, my stomach is sticking out extremely much and I look horrible. (Keep in mind it's only been 3 days since I started eating like this)

The worst part of all is, I've already gained 5lbs.
5lbs IN THREE DAYS!
I feel terrible and it feels as if I'm going to be overweight again if I keep going like this.
I am feeling very lost and I don't know who to talk to. I don't know where to go for advice.
I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm seriously considering going back to eating 300 cals/day to loose these 5 lbs.

Rruni1

I've never really had any good things to say about my body, and have always turned to restriction to cope with things, you know? And after one incident it just sort of...Exploded. The lowest I've ever had my intake wassss I think 600-800, and I would exercise a lot of that off. I've been steadily pushing up my calorie intake, and I only exercise when I know that I'm doing it for me, and not for my eating disorder.

It's hard though. Food is still the enemy. I don't even want to get thinner anymore, I just want to enjoy my body, which looks good. (Or so people say.) I just want to be a normal teenager and be able to eat like one.

@lalalalalfly: My advice is to GRADUALLY step up your calorie intake. Your body isn't used to that sort of stuff yet. :[

Captain_Tightpants

Yeah. I binge and secret eat. Had an unhealthy relationship with food my whole life and it's a daunting task to try to overcome it.

I'm hitting it from every angle... full on tactical assault: psychotherapy, medication, workouts and trying to change my relationship with food and see it only as a fuel source. It's working so far but I know it's a wiley enemy so I'm wary of claiming any long term success over it.

learningloveandpeace

I have struggled mightily against an eating disorder. I consider myself in recovery at the moment. I joined MFP partially to try and become more active/lose weight for my wedding in May 2013. I hope so much that I can stay in recovery and not let this be triggering. I have a treatment team that is aware of my goals (I'm currently at the low end of obese according to my BMI...but it's just a number) and is supportive given I am healthy about this all.

kbee784

I am currently recovering from an ED. It's the hardest thing I've ever done.... people who have not struggled may think that's crazy.... I understand you. Much love, support, and strength. You CAN do thi!

AvonLucyR

I was anorexic in high school. I worked on eating a healthier diet after I left for college, since I was able to get out of my house and was around students who weren't as cruel as high school students can be. While I was anorexic, I ate just a few calories. It didn't matter how thin I was, I still saw myself as fat when I looked in the mirror. I had therapy and as I got older and wanted children I started eating more. I was a thin but healthy weight until my late 30s. Then I had a series of illnesses which put weight on me. I went back and forth - what they call yo-yo dieting. I never was happy at any weight. Now that I am losing the extra weight on MVP and have found all these supportive people, I am doing the best I ever have. I wish you peace and comfort as you go through this. I really think you need to have professional help...I don't know of anyone with a true eating disorder that overcame it on their own. Best of luck to you! :flowerforyou:

kimmahboo

Hi all,
I have struggled with Bulimia Nervosa since I was 10, and Anorexia Nervosa while in my teenage years. I have had a hard time letting go of ED, it's been one of the only constants in my life. I went through a nasty separation, leading to divorce which triggered my Anorexia again in 2002-03, and ended up in the hospital weighing only 87 lbs. I have had my struggles since then and my weight has yo-yoed up and down.My ED caused me to lose a child, but I was blessed with my daughter in 2003. Although her father and I are not together anymore, I am happy that I was able to recover enough to have her. I still have problems with binging and purging, and sometimes I feel MFP feeds into the negative thought patterns that I built up over the years (ie: having to know exactly how many calories are in every single thing I put in my mouth), but I am trying to see past that, as I have met so many lovely people here and it does help me keep control over my intake and exercise. I had a bad car accident which made it impossible for me to exercise for over a year and that made my disorder that much worse, not to mention being on LTD which has emotionally crippled me as my career as a nurse meant so much. Stay strong all of you, feel free to add me, love to you all. You are beautiful, and you are worth being healthy!!!

msliu7911

I am recovering from emotional eating/binging. Its been quite a journey since the onset in August, then finally going to see a counselor in September for it. However I feel I am on the home stretch... even though I still have bad days. Add me if you would like and we can support one another.
.

fluecok

i am an emotional eater

if im happy i eat
sad, angry, anxious...
for anything!!!!! =(

then i binge .....

it is such a struggle

im am enjoying this site and the support from all u guys
looking forward to fighting this demon in me

Yasmine91

Binging and purging is an issue for me but I have tried my hardest not to do it

jessicajoy87

Hi, my name is Jessica and I am a compulsive overeater....And it sucks! But taking it one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time helps me.

mommamuscles

this has been a lifelong battle for me...anorexic in high school, required medical intervention. Bulimic until my early 20s, then just overrate compulsively and gained tons of weight with all my emotional eating issues. This last year I have lost over 100 lbs, but am still struggling to have a right relationship with food and exercise. It is so hard. Feel free to friend me!

swellen

Three days ago my mother had a serious talk with me and I've started eating more these past days.
My diet normally consisted of 300 - 400 calories/day. Now I am forced to eat all three meals plus snacks (about 1.200 cals/day total)

I feel constantly bloated, my stomach is sticking out extremely much and I look horrible. (Keep in mind it's only been 3 days since I started eating like this)

The worst part of all is, I've already gained 5lbs.
5lbs IN THREE DAYS!
I feel terrible and it feels as if I'm going to be overweight again if I keep going like this.
I am feeling very lost and I don't know who to talk to. I don't know where to go for advice.
I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm seriously considering going back to eating 300 cals/day to loose these 5 lbs.

If you have been malnourished, it can be very dangerous to your health to suddenly increase your calorie intake. When recovering from an eating disorder, calories are usually increased very gradually to allow your body to adjust, and to avoid refeeding syndrome.

I would really encourage you to see your GP about this, and get a referral to a therapist and a dietitian. It's obviously very important to work up to eating a healthier amount, but simply eating more is NOT the cure for an eating disorder. It's a complicated illness and needs specialist treatment and lots of support, both from professionals and from family and friends.

swellen

I've struggled with various forms of disordered eating for years - mostly a cycle of restrict/binge/restrict etc, as well as weighing myself multiple times a day and creating lots of food rules, and developing massive anxiety around food in general. I'm getting some help for it now and feeling confident for the future. (I'm on day 11 of not weighing myself - woot!) My dietitian eventually wants me to stop counting calories at all and just concentrate on serves/portions (ie, macros). I'm nowhere near ready for that yet but hoping to get there eventually, as the calorie counting has definitely become obsessive. Sigh. One little step at a time!

Kaelinnn_102

Oh my god. This is what I need....I literally just posted the following status, if anyone can help me with this, or just be there for support, please feel free to add me!

"Alright all, as the old saying goes, "admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery." Where do I start ? Here lately, I have been binge eating constantly. And I do mean CONSTANTLY. I've only gained back 5 of my 35 lost pounds, and for that I am so thankful, but I feel so out of control. I've done so much research over the last two weeks, and the more I read, the more I realize I have a true eating disorder. Now, I know exactly what everyone is probably thinking, "omg is she throwing up?" or the other one, "is she starving herself then gorging when she can't starve anymore?" The answer is no. Just binging and binging and binging. I've found that I have "Binge Eating Disorder". And yes, I'm sure; I have never been more sure of anything in my life. One of the most important factors in me getting better, is to have a strong support system. I have my family and my extremely understanding and loving boyfriend, but now I would love to have the support of my MyFitnessPal family. I will be pre-logging my meals & snacks the night before each day, in order to avoid a binge. I know I'll cave at times, but from here on out, I will log EVERYTHING, even my binges that are sure to come in the future, in order to hold myself accountable. But as long as I have some support, I know it will make it easier. Sorry for the long story, and for those of you willing to help me, thank you so much in advance "

anamiamem

I am in recovery from "ED-NOS" (Eating Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified). Since college I have yo-yoed, restricting so much to the point of weighing 98 pounds (I'm 5'6"). My church intervened and I went back to a 'healthy' weight. I gained weight after marrying and having four children, during which time I battled medical complications and hospitalizations. When my youngest was 4, I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erethematosis (Lupus) and decided I had to get the weight off when my medical paperwork documented me as 'obese.' For the first time in my life, I lost the weight in a healthy manner--through proper eating and walking up to ten miles a day. I lost 80 pounds in about 9 months time--while under the supervision of my doctor.

About 1.5 years later, I was afraid I was putting on weight and the eating disorder reared its ugly head. I started purging. I was smart enough to know it wasn't right and got into therapy. Then I started restricting. I got down to 120..which isn't bad if you are 20, but I was 44. I changed some stressors in my life and was able to get into recovery about two years later.

Then, I got sick. I didn't know how sick I was for two years. I was out for six weeks and went from a size 4 to a size 8 in that time. Over the next two years, I ballooned to a size sixteen. I thought it was just me being lazy and that I needed to start exercising more. But it wasn't. Turns out my heart was bad and my body was naturally slowing down because my heart couldn't keep up...thus the weight. That was three years ago and I can't exericse and I'm even heavier now than then. I can't stand for more than ten minutes at a time. I can do my tread mill on 1.5 for five minutes. I hate how I look and literally do not look in the mirror. I started a medical weight loss program and lossed five pounds in five days. However, I ended up in the hospital and my doctor had to pull me off the diet (heart related, not diet related, but needed the calories for my heart to heal). That was a month ago. I've been so proud of myself that I have maintained my recovery from the ED as it would only damage my heart even more if I were to slide back. The doctor that is working with my other doctors for my weight ordered me back in therapy as this is definitely going to trigger my ED. But, I have to lose the weight as my heart can't handle the weight. And yet, I can't exercise because not only is my heart too damaged, but right now, it's inflamed (Myocarditis) from the Lupus. I'm on heavy steroids that caused 12 pounds of weight gain and I'm not getting off of them any time soon.

So...all this to echo what others have said here...losing weight and maintaining recovery from an eating disorder is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I think the most important thing you can do is have support--not only from a therapist--but also from people who have or are walking in your shoes.

anamiamem

For Turnleftnow: Of course, no one but your therapist can tell you if you have an eating disorder. I never fit into a conventional category as I would restrict and purge, but not to a level to categorize me as anorexic or bulimic. My 'official' diagnosis is Eating Disorder (ED) NOS--(Not otherwise specified). This means I fall into the category of having an eating disorder, but it doesn't fit into 'their' categories. Hopefully that helps you a little bit.

blankcircles

I am ( I think). At least I know I have disordered eating behaviors. Probably why I joined this site in the first place. I am not overweight but I want to loose weight. I am at a healthy weight 5'9" 143 but I used to be 135 so that is why I started watching what I eat. Do you think this site makes you worse or better? I wish I liked the way I looked. I know I should but I just DONT. Uggghh. :frown:

AmyT78

Is anyone else here struggling AGAINST an eating disorder? It's a scary thing to let go of, and I was kind of hoping to find some more people who were trying to leave their ED behind. :] Support and all that fun stuff, yes? :flowerforyou:

I am, I struggle with overeating/ emotional eating. Any eating disorder is a scary thing to go through, so I completely understand. Therapy has helped me understand 'why' I do it and to get a better understanding on what triggers these bad habits. And medication has helped too. But in the end, its all up to me whether I do it or not.

I lost 112lbs 7yrs ago and I've managed to kept most of that weight off with watching what I eat and exercising at least 3+ days a week. But In the past 6months I've gained about 10lbs. So I know its time for me to get serious again.

Right now im trying everyday. I may not be successful everyday. But in time, I will be. If you would like to add me pls do so. We could support each other:flowerforyou: ( and that goes for anyone else who is struggling with an eating disorder, pls feel free to add me as a friend)

together, we can beat this:drinker:

Rruni1

Wow, I never knew that so many people were going through this, too. It's incredible to have so much support, and I wish the same for all of you!
I, too, have been diagnosed with EDNOS, and the most terrifying part is trying to change my thought patterns, as my psychologist is trying to do. It's been so long since I've thought about myself in a positive light that I'm not sure what it feels like anymore. It's crazy. And, of course, there are a lot of triggers that I run into throughout the day (especially on tumblr, urgh.) My biggest is probably seeing "pro-ana" posts and what not online, because they make me feel like I'm doing something wrong by trying to be healthy and get better, and they remind me that if I justtt let myself slip back a little bit, back into those destructive behaviours, then I can be as skinny as I want to be. There is where the struggle really begins for me-- keeping my head up enough to ignore things like that and not let them trigger me, because I've been doing really well with this, I think. I haven't had a mental breakdown from food in weeks so far, and I've made it a goal to eat something every day simply because I want it; not analyzing the nutritional value or the calories in it, or how much protein it has to make me fill full, none of that.

It's difficult, but having support like this is a huge help!

anamiamem

You hit the nail on the head with the thought patterns! Once it starts, it is SO hard to stop it or change it. And you are right, there are SOOO many triggers! My biggest thing right now is not switching into the old thought patterns where...I basically think about it all the time and everything in my life is about food...restricting...purging, etc. That's what I'm really fighting with this current program because I have to write down everything I eat, the calories and the protein. It's really hard not to 'trigger' that thinking and end up back there. Part of what keeps me is I had a client (I'm in a helping profession) who struggled with an eating disorder and 'pro-ana'. She negated it because she didn't fit into bulimia or anorexia but would be on pro-ana sites 17 hours a day. About a year after the last time I saw her, she was found dead one morning. It was from complications of her eating disorder. I try and think of her whenever I start to perseverate on food/dieting/restricting.