I need some Mom advice

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  • barbiec75
    barbiec75 Posts: 4
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    You can never be too careful with your child. Having raised 5 daughters, who are now raising children of their own, they understand the cautions we took when they were young. It is ALWAYS better to be safe than sorry. After all this is your precious child and you are responsible for their safety.
  • reaolliemama
    reaolliemama Posts: 489 Member
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    I've always had a hard time letting my daughter stay with someone I don't know...I've even resorted to planning MOmmy'Daughter activities for the night of slumber parties, we've been bowling, movies even Chucky Cheese (Hell)...but that's just me!
  • breezystreet
    breezystreet Posts: 16
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    I just can't thank everyone enough for all of the replies!!! It's just so hard sometimes being in a new place and not really knowing what to do!! Like I said before, my daughter has been going to sleepovers since she was probably 4ish......She LOVES hanging out with her friends and is totally fearless! I so bad want for her to get the kind of friends here that she had before. There was 4 or 5 familiies who literally had swinging doors....Their kids would come to our house, she would go to theirs....it was awesome!!!
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    Definitely call and find out what's up. Sounds like the mother changed the party after the invites were sent out which is sooooo wrong.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
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    I don't want this to sound judgmental, and turn this thread into a rampage, so I'll phrase it very carefully.

    Are you comfortable having your daughter stay over at a home where you don't know the mother well enough to place a phone call?

    Perhaps sleepovers would be more suitable when you have met this family.

    sorry double post
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
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    I don't want this to sound judgmental, and turn this thread into a rampage, so I'll phrase it very carefully.

    Are you comfortable having your daughter stay over at a home where you don't know the mother well enough to place a phone call?

    Perhaps sleepovers would be more suitable when you have met this family.

    My sentiments exactly.

    my kids dont go to slumber parties unless i know the family well. period. they dont even ask. they also dont get dropped off at bday parties unless its a slumber party and i normally hang for a while cause im friends with the parents. But thats how we do it.
    Not judging your choice.
  • mikajoanow
    mikajoanow Posts: 584 Member
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    Just to add, sometimes its easier to put the blame on yourself as the mother. If you take control of the situation and just decline the sleepover part yourself because you feel uncomfortable you will for sure save the child from feeling rejected by other people. :) lol That's just me though. I have zero issue being the bad guy for the sake of the greater good.
  • 2fit4fat
    2fit4fat Posts: 559 Member
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    id phone the mom so i know for sure whats going on (although i wouldnt let me daughter sleep over at a strangers house) my two best friends got raped when we were little from this. :-) just be careful.
  • jeaninemckinney
    jeaninemckinney Posts: 191
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    oh man!!! this stuff is so hard!! im like u i feel more shy and dont like having to talk to other moms and stuff like that! theres cliks and all the other moms are friends and on the pta and i feel out of place like in high school or something!! thats the fun part of being a mom u have to suck it up and pretend like ur not scared for your kids!! with the staying the night part...i always stayed at friends houses and had them at mine when i was little! but ofcourse i grew up with all my friends and my family knew theres so it was all good!! this stuff scares me because you never know what kind of wierdos are out there!! good luck! moving is difficult! even when you know the parents well, people could always be different behind closed doors!! just be carefull and have fun getting to know the other moms and i hope your daughter has fun whether she stays the night or not!!! its hard with kids once they start having playdates and all that fun stuff!! i was so excited once my daughter had little girlfriends but then it opens up other problems lol!!! oh the joys of motherhood!!
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
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    When my son was in kindergarten, he was invited to his first sleepover. We had reservations, but still let him go. We made it clear to the parents that we were a family of ethical vegetarians, and we didn't want him eating meat. Ten years after this sleepover, my son told me that the birthday boy's mom said, "We have different house rules than your parents do. Have a hotdog!" He refused it, but I can't tell you how disrespected and betrayed I felt. He was five years-old, for crying out loud!!

    I know you aren't apt to have the exact same issue. My point is that not all parents are respecters of your values and ideas of safety. I would suggest really getting to know this family a lot more before consenting to a sleepover.
  • christina0089
    christina0089 Posts: 709 Member
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    Phone the mom and find out exactly what is going on.

    Agreed!
  • lovelyrose11
    lovelyrose11 Posts: 609 Member
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    I would just call the mom. I would rather know for sure what is going on before I sent my child to the party.
  • breezystreet
    breezystreet Posts: 16
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    Well I called and of course she didn't answer....left her a message....Just said I was confused because my daughter said it was a slumber party....and how I figured she got her wires crossed and such.....She just called back and said that Gracen was welcome to stay...that some of the other girls were. I told her I sure didn't want to be trying to invite her if it was just for a select few...and she sd she understood and no that wasn't the case. SO, I am going to the party....going to see how I feel. I do feel much better now because I have literly been sick to my stomach over it!! Thanks again for all of the great replies!! I'm so happy to be on MFP!!
  • JackieLM
    JackieLM Posts: 127 Member
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    I would only take her at the times her invite says... I would not leave my 1st grader at a house to spend the night if I don't know the people REALLY well. I wouldn't bother calling about the sleepover because her invite didn't say "sleep over". Just take her to the party, be sweet, and graciously leave at the listed time. If she mentions "oh, she can stay"... I would say, "that is so sweet, but we already have plans tonight but I appreciate your thoughtfulness. Maybe another night we can get the girls together for a sleep over."

    That is what I would do....
  • JackieLM
    JackieLM Posts: 127 Member
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    sorry, your post happened right before I hit send on mine so ignore my post... :-)

    Glad the phone call went well and that things are worked out.
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
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    I don't want this to sound judgmental, and turn this thread into a rampage, so I'll phrase it very carefully.

    Are you comfortable having your daughter stay over at a home where you don't know the mother well enough to place a phone call?

    Perhaps sleepovers would be more suitable when you have met this family.

    This too....she has been invited to the party, which is great. You don' t know the parents from Adam, and are not comfortable phoning them and yet want your child to stay at their house? Just take her to the party, the children who have been invited for the sleepover probably know the family better. Its not excluding her to invite her to the party, its including.....
  • ishallnotwant
    ishallnotwant Posts: 1,210 Member
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    I don't want this to sound judgmental, and turn this thread into a rampage, so I'll phrase it very carefully.

    Are you comfortable having your daughter stay over at a home where you don't know the mother well enough to place a phone call?

    Perhaps sleepovers would be more suitable when you have met this family.
    I agree.

    Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. my kids don't spend the night anywhere until they are much older. They could go to the party, and i'd probably stay with them and help the mom with the party as much as possible, and then we would go home. My kids know the rules of our home and they would be informed ahead of time-no spending the night.
  • 4wheeldakota
    4wheeldakota Posts: 1
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    call the mom and see what is going on.
  • 4040heather
    4040heather Posts: 12 Member
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    Hey - whatever happened with the party? Hopefully it went well.:flowerforyou:

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