Curious - How did relationships change as your weight change

laineylynnfit

I am curious about this. I am wondering how my bf of 3 yrs and I's relationship will change (if it does at all)... I am trying to motivate him to join the gym with me but he hasn't yet but we have both been eating healthier. I am hoping as he sees my transformation, he will be motivated. I love the way he looks now but I know he wants to drop about 20-30 lbs for his health. I have much more to lose - around 70 lbs or so. Sometimes I think because I've "tried" and failed before, he doesn't truly think I can but that's just me assuming because he's not very verbal about it - like making it known that he notices.

Anyway, how did your relationships change? Doesn't have to be with significant other ---could be friends, family, etc?!

Ocarina

All my family is a healthy weight so they are very happy about me returning to join the flock and blend in again with my relatives. I've motivated others, awed some, and have become much closer in relationships since I've lost the weight. I'm not longer indoors on a video game hiding away because of my low self esteem. I also was able to find a great job and am doing well in school and really finding that I can handle balancing everything! So overall nothing bad whatsoever.

My husband has been the same since I started. Hoping to motivate him to lose some weight as well but he's only like 30lb over weight so nothing drastic.

laineylynnfit

That is interesting! Thanks for sharing. I have never been small so I am not sure how people will react to me once I lose it all. I have been getting positive feedback from mostly everyone. My bf is more quiet about it. He's not very vocal but maybe he doesn't see a change in me as of now since we see eachother everyday.

auticus

When I was out of the army and in shape, I had good relationships. As I gained a lot of weight, the way people started treating me also started to get more hostile. My marriage broke up and she cited it was mainly because of my weight, and it was hard keeping relationships with women because I was too big.

As I've gotten smaller and more in shape I have found that people in general treat me a lot better and less hostile.

Take that for what you will.

MB_Positif

It took my husband about 8 months of me being on MFP and working out before deciding to commit himself to the process! He'd been eating healthier a fair amount because of the meals I was cooking, but once he got serious he took the meals he made into consideration as well as his snacks. It's been awesome! I didn't pressure him to get involved, I just let him see how much it was impacting my life to be healthier!

BeautyFromPain

Well, my mum who has tried every "diet" in history started being more of a ***** to me cos she is jealous :l

Canbfit4life

well my bf is one of the kind of men eat everything & not gain weight ,but since i have changed my way of eating he has as well ,I just try not to constant say things it has to be when he is ready ,yes our partners know us better than we think ,show him consistency & he will see that youre serious & maybe then he will take your serious & it shoudl bring u closer

KaleidoscopeEyes1056

When I started dating my bf, I was 180 lbs, so I was never skinny, but a lot better. Last year, I went through a depression and I got up to 220 lbs and that's when **** really got serious! Now, I've lost only about 10 lbs, but I look a lot better, and now we have sex a lot more (possibly TMI, but it's true.) Not sure if that's from the weight lost or the added confidence (probably the confidence, he's pretty oblivious like any other man) but it's awesome!

robbiejay1971

My partner started mfp a week or so before me, but I liked it enough to start to. It's so much easier to do it together, and we've walked nearly 120 miles in 3 weeks, whereas before we would go everywhere in the car!

eillamarie

My boyfriend & I met while I was beginning all of this. I had lost around 10lbs. I've had my ups & down over the past year where I've stuffed my face with junk, but I always end up more strict about my food then before (I'm a big believer in eating as organic & pure & whole as possible-but I'm not a psycho about it) & he's all about the pizza pops & dry ribs He'll eat the suppers I prepare which I usually make more to my taste than his, but I think that's as far as he's going to go. I wish he had the same outlook on food as I do (he thinks organics are a bunch of bull**** & not worth it), it would help with motivation, but @ least he eats what I make!

So basically: if your boyfriend's outlook on food doesn't change then your relationship will change a bit, but as long as he's supportive of your new eating habits (mine will remind me that I said I wasn't going to eat ____ anymore) then you two will be fine

kiki41

all of my family teases me about being a freak with my calorie counting and carb counting and high protein, but I do not care. My hubby is into eating well anyways, and if anything I used to be the one to encourage him to indulge but now we are on the same page. We have more in common now that I have hopped on the healthful lifestyle thing. I love it and he does too. We can lift weights together, enjoy the same foods, and feel good too. I think it boosts our confidence as well, and it is neat to have something like weights in common with him- even if I am not lifting like he is! Anyways, it is fun and our relationship will probably continue to get better.

ZombieKillaPrincess

With my ex, i decided to get fit and eat healthy and go to the gym often... he wasn't down and we eventually parted ways. it wasn't the only reason but it was a big factor since we no longer shared the same lifestyle and he even told me i spent too much time at the gym and he was annoyed he didn't see me as much (although i did invite him along!)

Sometimes people don't like change and it can be tough! but not saying this will happen to you but it is important to communicate and evolve together :-)

also, men can become insecure in relationships if you begin to "look hotter" but again, communicating will help that :-)

good luck with your goals!

ahealthy4u

Maybe he doesn’t really notice a difference and he is afraid to offend you, if he says anything or the flip side of it he, dose notice the transformation and he is scared himself of saying anything that he may hurt your feelings if you really are not losing the weight.
It could be many different reasons as to why he hasn’t said anything. I know in past relationships I thought I was healthy when I really wasn’t that my significant other never said a word to me about it then I started to change and it frightened them for whatever reason they were scared of the change. Good Luck to you in your Journey it is always more when sharing with others.

Sharyn913

My husband and I are both eating healthier now and losing weight, but he can be really obnoxious about it. Were doing low carb, however our diets are slightly different. I work out and do a lot of cardio so I eat more carbs than him. He's back doing 20 carbs or less and has no energy so he doesn't want to do anything. He will sit on his computer ALL day long. I almost prefer the fat version of him (personality wise) because at least before we would do things together.

Guardien

I feel that my relationship with my wife has gotten better. Over the last 6 months we have embarked on the weight loss journey as a couple. We've both lost weight before, but not doing it together, we would gain at least some of the weight back, and at times more than we had lost. Doing it together, we are talking more. I admit that it's mostly about things here on MFP, food, and workouts, but it is more communication between us. Despite our fitness level differences, we sometimes workout together just to spend more time in each other's company.
We are also feeling better about ourselves, therefore carrying ourselves in a higher manner. I think that changes how people look at us. We are not just some over-weight couple anymore. Sure we both have a ways to go, but we will face it together staying side by side as we go. Also, the approximate combined total of 80 lbs has helped in more intimate areas of our relationship.

Linsey1973

My hubby works out a lot and looks really good for doing it. To be fair to him, he has always taken pride in working out and looking good. I still fancy the pants off him since the day we met :blushing:

I however weighed 122 pounds when we met and now weigh 143 (having lost 15 pounds). I felt unhappy with myself and felt really fat at my heaviest.

I decided last summer that "enough was enough" and started eating better and working out, and I am pleased with the results.

Looking back I don't think my husband loved me any less because of my gain in weight, however I think that I can say that he is "enjoying" the results! :bigsmile:

Chloe_Chaos_

Personally, my 4 year relationship has been dreadfully bumpy to begin with. Recently (since maybe last September) I started noticing that my boyfriend brings home tons of chocolates and sweets (I am a sweet-*kitten*). Over the last year I've gained about 30lbs (140 to 170) I always fluctuated about 140-150 but then I noticed things got real. I honestly believe that my boyfriend prefers me to be overweight because when I'm overweight I do not want to go to parties or to the bars or have a social life of any kind, that makes things easy for him because he's INSANELY jealous. Now I'm eating healthier, counting all of my calories, going to the gym religiously and while my boyfriend SEEMS to be supportive I think that he resents me. He does not like the gym because he feels like people watch him while he works out (insecure much?) and he thinks the fact that I count calories is somewhat silly and that I shouldn't have to. I suppose things are different for us because I've tried to break up with him numerous times over the last few months and he wont let me leave. Sounds weird, but we argue then things go back to being good then we argue, etc, etc. It's a stupid cycle and I'm sick of it. But, it does make me kick *kitten* at the gym since he pisses me off.

I hope your relationship ends up better than this mess that I'm in.

enigrebua

Well, my mum who has tried every "diet" in history started being more of a ***** to me cos she is jealous :l

Same..it's very sad. We used to be close but now she just drives me crazy. I think she has a lot of internalised problems that I don't have.

felice03

I was in an unhappy marriage for years and my weight climbed. I used that as an excuse to withdraw farther from my marriage. About two years ago we had commited to both if us getting healthy and things improved for a while. Unfortunately, the marriage could not be saved. Now that I am out of the negative environment I have been able to come to a much better place emotionally and physically. This has helped me form new relationships and strengthen ones with the people who really matter in my life. I don't think they weight loss made these relationships stronger, but in fact, having these healthy relationships made the weight loss easier. I still have moments where I revert and withdraw for fear of getting in the same situation...but that is something unrelated to my weight.

jazzalea

My Partner has been blessed with a rock solid incredibly hot body since the day he turned 12 without ever having to work a day at it.....when we met I was 320 pounds..... 180 pounds heavier than he was......

He rarely used to say anything, and when I complained to him one day about his lack of attention... he looked stunned.... he said that he had always loved the me inside.... he didn't think of the outside as any more than a change of clothes.....

He is proud of the changes I've made and it's inspired him to make changes in his own life.... and I love that he truly loves me for me.....

.What he loves about me, is that I looked past the incredibly hot body and saw the lost little boy inside.....he did the same for me....that's when you know it's love

it's what works for us

benodie

my relationship with my husband has got a lot better . . .but I'm not sure that its because I'm smaller, I think its to do with the bit of confidence I've managed to claw back!! Infact I can say that about most of my relationships with family and friends aswell . . .I didn't realise quite how unhappy I was till I started to feel better . . .if that makes sense!