Why arent all close friends and family happy I'm dieting?

froeschli

my family, or i should say the women i have to call my mother, has never supported anything ive done to date,
got a tattoo, im dirty looking
got my motorcycle licence, im stupid and going to kill myself
i got a tongue ring, im a slut
i took up pole dance fitness, im a stripper
dating a beautiful man who is in a wheelchair, im wasting my life
these are the things MY MOTHER has said to me. we no longer speak!!
now if i let all that she has said to be get to me, i would not be who i am nor do the things i love to do today.
Screw what other people think, do what you love and if they don't support you, just look in the mirror and remember, you have to be your biggest fan cause its your life, your body, and you have to live with you and be happy with yourself!!

LOL so much of that is still on my to do list :laugh:

swthrtsmrf

Congrats on the loss! Hitting the first 20lb. mark is an amazing feeling. Keep up the hard work for you! If you do not get the support from her, you know you have it here. In the end make yourself happy not others. If you are happy, that is all that matters in the end. Someone in a previous reply said something about being proud of your sexiness when it is all done! Well they are right. That is what matters is that you are proud of you!

ashley67203

You're doing a great job. I can't say why your mother had the reaction she did, but I can share a seemingly similar experience I had with my mother when I first lost a drastic amount of weight.

When she finally noticed and I told her how much I'd lost, she seemed almost mad at me. She didn't even want to talk about it and I was so confused. Years later after I'd successfully kept the weight off I finally asked her about it. She told me that she wasn't mad but worried. She has always been thin but had spent most of her 20s in an anorexic cycle. She was worried I'd do the same.

Maybe your mom has the same fears as mine - that we'll focus so much on our weight that we let it control our lives. It's so easy to slip and gain back the weight, believe me I know. Maybe she's just being too cautious to get her hopes up yet.

stringqueen16

When I was a bit younger, my attempts at weight loss developed into an eating disorder, so most of the negative feelings of my diet are coming from everyone being worried that I will end up back there. I've learned just to be happy for myself, and realized that I'm who I'm doing this for, not them, and ultimately the only person who can keep me from going back to my old ways is myself. I think eventually our families and friends will all be happy for us when they see us healthy and happy and confident; it's just the getting there part that is going to be a bit rocky. But chin up, be strong, believe in yourself, and lean on the friends you're making on mfp to keep you going when you need extra encouragement. You're doing great!

hedgiie

i think many people from MFP had the same experience.

I feel bad about this until I read from the book "Burn fat feed the muscle" from Tom Venuto, It says there that no one care about your diet and fat lose except the same people who's doing the same thing. So i realize that the author and his clients(he's a fitness consultant) probably had the same problem. and it extends to the reader of his book and likewise to the users of this web site.

Before, I"m always excited to tell my friends about my journey to weight lose but I change it recently. I keep silent and keep it for myself. And try to make other excuses if I need to stop ordering or eating.

Just keep doing it, at the end no one will benefit from your weight loss and healthy habit except you.

leogirl724

#1 Misery loves company
#2 a fit you = a jealous them
#3 some people can't handle competition

do it for you!
you'll be able to spot the ones who are truly happy for you/keep them
and the haters/let them motivate you to stay healthy

dorseykm

My experience has been that most friends and family will be happy for you and celebrate your successes with you. I think other friends and family are still happy for you, but their ability to express that is tangled up with their own hang-ups. I think this is because for them your success casts uncomfortable spotlights on problem areas in their lives that they aren't ready to address. All you can really do is seek out your vocal supporters when you need a boost and keep on keeping on!

Larissa26

I totally can relate. My best advice is keep on:-) I lost 70 pounds 2 years ago, But once i got there, i guess i expected so much from everyone else. What you have to remember is u are doing this to better yourself. In time people are going to notice, sometimes people dont say anything becasue sometimes they envy you, and sometimes they just dont know what to say. Either way you are doing wonderful and keep it up:-)

JanieJack

Some people subconsiously don't want us to lose weight because it means we become more in control of our lives (so they'll have less control over us). Some people sabatage us because they are themselves convicted. And some people are just jealous.

My ex was not supportive. He was extremely fit (only 7% body-fat, very chiseled) and constantly dogging me for being fat. But when I would try to work out he would get mad and sabatoge my efforts. I intially had to hide my workouts from him. I think my increase in confidence had a lot to do with the downfall of my marriage.

My family is fairly heavy and some of them used to take take offense if I don't eat as much as they did when I went for a visit. Things are better now, because everyone's concerned about health. I handled it by remembering that none of them were going to help me feel better about being too big to wear my favorite clothes. And none of them would help me take the pills I surely would have to take soon if I didn't get my health under control.

Coworkers always wanna bring me donuts and cupcakes and chocolates and such. It's like people are naturally (even if they don't realize they're doing it!) just drawn to pull down others and prevent them from making their lives better and increasing their confidence. It's annoying, but I try hard to just roll with it.

Keep going- keep doing this for YOU!

tanias001

When i was talking to my mother ( been disowned now) she never ever supported my weight loss efforts. I think her big problem was that she was always much bigger than i was. I can remember just before i got married over 20 years ago her pre wedding words to me were " Lose weight he will leave you before you get married' mind you back then i was only 64 kilos and she would have been almost twice that size.
She has never been one to support anything i have done in my life, she has always been the negative force putting me down at every chance she got.
She would always tell me how much weight my brother's had lost and she not once would comment on the weight i had lost. When we went to visit last year it made me laugh on the back of her toilet door on the calendar she had a weight of 86 kilos, I nearly died of laughter, thats the weight i was at the time and i was no where as huge as she was. i got my husband to look at the calendar he also nearly died of laughter and we both thought she was very delusional and she is the one with all the health issues high blood pressure cholestrol, diabetics the list goes on. The second time we visited that year mind you we live just on 1000 kilometres away she hadn't lost any weight it actually looked like she had put on what i had lost at that stage it was about 8 kilos she was looking so much bigger, even then she didn;'t have one nice ord to say. All my other relatives commented on how good i was looking and to keep up the good work. That made me feel good.
You would think that with all the health issues she has she would do something to help herself if not then to be in competition with me, but that wasn't the case the more i lost the more she gained, I can see her headed for another doudle or even triple heart by pass mind you she had this op done about 15 years ago.
At my girls wedding late last year my neice, my brother and his girlfriend were amazed at the weight i had lost again that made me feel good all my hard work wasn't in vain then.
All my friends are proud of what i have achieved so far and they are all behind me and help me when ever they can with words of encouragement. I have the best friends of all pity I couldn't say the same for the one that should be behind me 110%. In all honesty i think she may be jealous because i try my hardest to lose weight were as she has no will power at all and eats the wrong foods and isn't happy eating her meals she piles up my dad's plate and he eats very little, she i know does this so then she can eat it so it doesn't go to waste but it does gfo to waste her waist. I wish i cold say I feel sorry for her but i would be lying if i did. She has to learn to help herself.
I am just so glad I didn't turn out like her in many ways. My health is good my only main health issue is my thyroid and people comment ont hat as well " wow you jave done a great job by losing so much weight with a thyroid problem", the thing is i don't let my thyroid get in the way, it can be really slow and frustrating at times but i never give up i just keep on plugging along.
My main reason is that i want to live a long and healthy life and be able to enjoy my time on earth with my children and my grandchildren when they come along. I want to be able to keep up with them and to be able to do things with them. I would love to be able to do all the things with my family which my own mother never ever did with me.
Sorry to bore every one but i feel so much better for having gotten this off my chest.
I promise not to ramble on in future hehe.

ash190489

I know exactly what you mean. Don't get me wrong, my immediate family are extremely supportive and happy with my results! I have just lost 18 lbs (8.2 kilograms) and I believe it is quite noticeable. I only have 2 kg to go :-) I am so happy and I can see the change, I'm feeling great! MyFitnessPal friends are telling me I'm looking good & can see the difference in photo's and are proud & happy for me, however my old high-school friends, etc. who are also trying to lose weight and that I see every fortnight or so did not say ONE thing to me about my changes. I haven't told them I am on MFP, I recently told them I am going to the gym, but they could not even give me one nice compliment which really upset me.

I completely agree that our own world does not evolve around everyone else, but I continuously compliment different things about them (hair changed, clothes, their weight loss successes) and I NEVER get a compliment EVER. It's upsetting after ALL the hard work I am putting in. I don't know if it's a jealousy thing or not, as my immediate family said every time I got up yesterday they would all look at me. . . Oh well.. it just makes me go harder at the gym now - I want to get so fit and healthy that they will HAVE to say something to me! Otherwise I will just tell them all about my success!!!!!!! :-) Sorry for my rant! I am so glad that I am not alone in this boat of unsupportive friends.