Is your 'other half' supportive enough??

cowleyibiza

Heres a question based on my journey, The reason I ask is because My fiance is also cutting down on food as we are getting married next year and she wants to shed a couple of stone. But I an far more strict than she is and I log everything that passes my lips on MFP and whereas she does not. I have only lost 8lbs so far but am really trying to become healthy by running, playing tennis etc... But she never wants to talk about my diet and seems annoyed when im out running.
Its now got to the point where i dont tell her that i have lost weight, i just say that Im the same as last week.

Anyone else had this??

n8na

My boyfriend is supportive as long as I don't talk about it too much. When he goes out shopping food he always bring new stuff with low calories.
I go running as well and sometimes he waits reading a book or something until I finished my kilometers/miles.

Talk to your fiance about it. Maybe she doesn't know how hard it is for you staying motivated with her behaving like this.

kak2m4

Well, my fiance is as supportive as he can be, I guess. He's a bean pole, and is the type who has worked out maybe 5 times in the last year and still has a six pack. He eats whatever he wants, like pizza, donuts, etc. but does let me get all my veggies/fruits without complaining though, so that's nice (it has made our grocery bill go up). However, last night we were hugging and I noticed he was "feeling" by bum and waist and he said, "Are you...?" I stupidly assumed maybe he was trying to compliment me and so I finished his sentence by saying, "...losing weight? Yes, I've been working on it." And he said, "No, I was going to ask if you were eating enough." :ohwell: It made me feel kind of bad. I suppose he meant that I was smaller/seem smaller so it could've been a compliment of sorts.

Anyway, sorry to hear about your fiancee! I would talk to her and ask her why she seems annoyed when you go running. It's one thing how you track your food - I would just let her do her own thing with that. But if she seems annoyed with you working out and you're afraid to tell her your triumphs with losing weight, I would definitely talk to her and try to get to the bottom of why she's acting that way. Good luck!!

anberlingasm

That's tough, have you spoken to her about it? It can be really difficult to stay motivated when you feel as though you have to hide your achievements - and they ARE achievements, so well done on your weight loss so far.

My wife is also a member here and is working as hard as I am to become healthier, and it's so much easier knowing we're both on the same page when it comes to exercise and meal planning.

katkins3

I joined MFP one day after my husband and it has been such a helpful tool for us. I don't look at my husband's food diary, but he looks at mine, because he copies many of my meals. We have used the recipe function quite a bit. He even made bread, (in a bread maker), and entered the recipe.
If a couple can work together on MFP it can really reinforce the logging and working toward goals for both. For me, the only drawback has been that I get defensive sometimes about my choices and have to remind my husband that this is my responsibility and he should "mind his own knitting".
Try to keep feedback positive.

HisMissus

We're both trying to lose weight and have our own personal competition, biggest loser by June wins a cash reward from the other. (Even though we both know we'll end up spending the prize on something for both of us like a weekend away) According to MFP we should have a similar calorie intake so I do all the logging on my account. We usually exercise together too. I have noticed on the weeks I've lost more than he has he can seem a bit moody. Maybe your fiancee is feeling a bit upset she's not doing as well or is as motivated as you are. Have you tried finding an exercise you can do together?

janalayn

My fiance has been super supportive. He encourages me to take time to work out - I go to the gym and I hula hoop. He helped me make my own weighted hula hoop. He is a chef and has been cooking healthier meals for both of us. He actually weighed recently and has decided he wants to lose 10 pounds too. So now he is working out.

Your fiance may be feeling insecure about herself because you are being successful. Just be as supportive as you can but don't let it take the focus off your goals. You cannot "help" her unless she is open to being helped. I have struggled with my weight for over 20 years and this is the first time it clicked for me to do it for myself and it is working.

Chrissieneave

My Fiance has been the most supportive of me losing weight. And its thanks to him buying me Wii Fit Plus for Xmas, 2 years ago, that my weight loss journey began!

My other half is 6'4 and very slim and can eat like a horse, lol and never put an ounce of weight on. So not fair

But you can guarantee, that if i'm feeling low or having a bad day, he will be there to pick me up and encourage me to go on - i certainly couldn't do it without him

SueD66

this one is ever changing. first my husband brought home a box of king dongs, my favorit. then he wants burgers and chips. but when i cook one meal for all of us, low cal, he enjoyes it and is then very encourageing. I think he is afraid that i will make him start eating cardboard and sprout sandwichies, lol.... So it's a journey for both of us.
interesting question...

HauteP1nk

My fiance's goal is to gain weight while mine is to lose...so we both have different goals. Unfortunately I can't just hand over the extra 20lbs he wants.... I always joke that I wish it were that simple.

Anyways, he is very supportive of me. He picks me up and drops me off at my run clinic, and he actually listens when I am going on and on and on about calories...

I actually asked him yesterday if it was annoying that I was always discussing fitness and health and he responded that he loves that I have a hobby. I never really thought of it as a hobby, but I guess it is....

asgard825

My wife and I are both MFP junkies-- we plan meals together but working out and other stuff are kinda just naturally "personal time"

lmalaschak

My husband and I are doing it together too. It's possible your fiance is having trouble losing weight and it makes her feel insecure that it's working for you. Or maybe just the change in your relationship is stressful for her. Either way, it's something to think about. Make sure that you can communicate with each other about it because it's probably a bad idea to have whole topics in your life that you just have to avoid!

ChristineW82

My husband had been the "enabler". He would always bring home junk food, and tell me things like oh this one won't hurt you, I finally had a talk with him though explaining to him that I really want/need to do this. Things have gotten much better.

Sometimes people don't realize they're actually hurting you with your journey.

foxbat2828

In the past, my wife and I have been on weight loss at different times, so I think that's part of what didn't work for us. Right now, we are both working together on this and it's working a lot better. Between the two of us, we've lost nearly 35 lbs. since the beginning of the year. Being coordinated on meals, grocery shopping, workouts, etc. has really helped this time.

MrsSullivan08

fiance isn't very supportive of me counting cals on MFP. But, I am getting married in May and i need to feel comfortable in my own skin on our special day. He can pretty much each whatever he wants w/o gaining. I gained 55+ pounds when I became pregnant with my son. So now in return I get to track cals on here whether he likes it or not!.I figure this is for ME and I NEED MY self-confidence back so I can raise my self esteem and not feel bad about myself.

Sl1ghtly

Never. In fact, we are rather competitive. I think its because we're super awesome.

richelle67

Sounds like you need to talk to her. Iy husband lost 30 lbs probably 2 years ago on his own. Going to the gym and watching what he ate. During this time, I still was doing my own thing, not losing weight. He did "annoy" me at times. He would constantly ask"is this healthy for me' or say " I shouldn't have eaten that, it wasn;t good for me" or "I ate too much"or "do I look like I have a gut in this". He was talking non stop about this stuff and it bugged me. Partly out of jealousy and partly because of his obsessiveness. I thought he looked great, but got tired of hearing about it. Even our daughter got tired of hearing these things and she was the one who motivated him to lose weight. So what I learned from him, is to: Not talk about it with people unless they bring it up and ask what I am doing.I dont obsess with what I ate and what Iook like. Compliments are nice, but I try not to go on and on if someone says something to me about how I look. I have found that my extended family doesn't compliment me even tho I have lost 37lbs and dropped 2 sizes. Why I ask myself,jealousy. So continue on your journey as you are. Take the compliments as they come. But don't obsess with others about your success, and what I mean by that is, don't bring it up all the time. If someone makes a comment or asks, answer and than change the subject. You are doing this, be proud, but be humble at the same time! Good luck with your journey!

lmalaschak

Never. In fact, we are rather competitive. I think its because we're super awesome.

Hahahahaha. Hilarious!

Miss_dannii

He is great to be honest, I've been waiting for him to start giving out but he hasn't. He's very supportive x

DieVixen

My husband is 100% supportive in everything I do,he will be the first to tell me if he is doubtfull of my methods but he has my back in everything

nikkilou1978

My husband has become more supportive over time. He is now trying to eat better and lose weight. I think he saw that I was losing weight and got a little jealous. He has not changed his diet completely, but he is doing better. We also exercise seperately.