Is your 'other half' supportive enough??

cowleyibiza

THATS IT...KEEP RUBBING IT IN......lol, (only joking!!) I am extremely happy for all of you, it must be a great booster for you, when your'e in it together, I just hope that I can get to that point with my Fiance,

It seems your all doing great so Please keep up all the good work and I hope you and your partners get where you need to be!

As i will!

katetaylor999

Thank you ALL very much for the helpful responses!! they have been great to read,

My problem is that I'm an all or nothing type of person. I either have to obsess over something or I just lose interest. And i think its partly me that keeps talking about the things im doing that bores her. I try to help her when i can but she cheats regularly and when i bring it up she gets all defensive. I have however realized that, as long as I keep doing what I'm doing then I'll be happy in myself, and in turn she will have a super healthy lean Husband!

I'll have a chat with her today and see if she is up for a big push for a month to make a difference!! because if she is losing weight then she will be happy meaning I will be happy menaing We'll be happy.!

Thanks again everyone!!!

I started off by doing WeightWatchers propoints and got NO support whatsoever from the other half. I then heard about this and he's got much better as it seems to 'fit in' more with his ideas of how people should lose weight - not the calorie counting bit, but balancing carbs, protein and fat. He's even joined the gym with me and eating better himself, HOWEVER only because he wants to! Now I get a little disheartened cos he loses it quicker than I do because he's got more pre-existing muscle than I have, even though I am like you - all or nothing - and have been trying my very VERY bestest with food and exercise. There's little more I could do so don't see how I could compete with his losses (mentally, I mean - I'm a naturally competitive person and compare my achievements with others!)

My advice...if she's trying to lose weight herself, don't criticise her in any way - she WILL get snappy and defensive!!! See if there is something that you could include her in that she enjoys or agrees with and bring her round that way - you can then build it into your joint routines and do it together, so she won't get hacked off 'hanging around waiting for you' ;-)

Maybe if she sees you being 'too successful' at losing weight she could even start feeling insecure about herself - we girlies can be strange little creatures!!

Good luck.x

Danielle_Star

I am very fortunate to have a supportive boyfriend that enables me to lose weight. He is smaller than me but I find at times that I motivate him to work out by me working out!

yaddayaddayadda

My husband is supportive of anything I do I am anal about exercising and eating healthy foods. He is not as concerned about weight and eating as I am, and he is the cook.

Sometimes we eat different things, and I exercise harder and more often than him. We sometimes exercise together, but it can be frustrating for both of us because of the different intensities that we desire.

All that said, if your girlfriend is not supportive of your exercising, and you feel you can't tell her about your weight loss now, I would be concerned about entering into a marriage. Now it is weight and exercise, but after your wedding, it could be other things.

People don't change for the better after marriage, they become more comfortable and the "real" them emerges.

EbbySoo

I can relate. I have an unsupportive spouse. He doesn't understand my goals, doesn't care about being stronger, faster healthier himself one bit. I just say to hell with it and do it for me, once in a while I ramble by accident to him and he doesn't say much, when I'm bulking he sometimes shames me questioning my want for more strength and muscle. When I'm cutting he calls my naturally small (now post baby boobs) weird names. I've found myself just not caring anymore what he does, eats and just do it for myself. MFP has been my saviour for relating to people.

jackpotclown

I would say that she's supportive to a degree. She doesn't log or count calories....we tried doing this before, and for some reason it drove her crazy.....so it's not her thing....I don't judge or harp on her about it.....she looks good but complains about how she looks, yet does nothing about it (she's 5'3 and a little over 120, so I think she looks fine) We were going through a phase where she would get mad at me for going when she didn't or couldn't (whatever excuse was coming up that day). We've talked about it several times, mostly because I had to broach the subject. She feels that me going and her not makes her look bad.....now, honestly, I can't begin to wrap my head around the concept, but have come to terms that my health is more important than her "face". Before I'd plan to set up days for us to go together and would end up disappointed, and worse yet out my own training schedule. So nowadays I just go without her because I'm off work 2 hours before her leaving me plenty of time to get what I need done. She talks of getting back into it, but that seems to fall flat often. I actually had to tell the person who runs our fitness place that if we come in together to pretend like he's never seen me......and in summary I feel like I have to cheat on my wife with fitness.....so, how I handle it is I tell her how much weight I've lost, but not how I'm getting it done. I can tell you that while your situation might be irritating, it could be worse.

NewLIFEstyle4ME

He's my hero-- Besides God that is...he's the one pulling for me and helping me the most--encouraging me and allowing my New LIFE style to become a household one. (Even though I'm the only one overweight in the house). He and the kids are going for this with me 100% I'm THRILLED to report! Both my hubby and the kids are taking to all of my NO's and YES's like bees to honey. They are totally loving our new way of eating, seeing me a more calm, cool and collected wife and mom too.

Not only is my body shrinking DAILY, but our entire lives are changing for the better too--I'm so GLAD!

It's literally all good and full steam ahead!

ValHallaGirl

My fiance is 45lbs less than me... and not really supportive. We don't even talk about it. A few weeks ago he did say that when i lose a certain amount that he will start losing as well.. but he said it won't take him long. -.- He's got more muscle than me , where mine is fat of course. The people at work are really proud of me and we talk about it a lot. I even have people motivated to get healthy as well. We are having a contest called The Slim down Showdown at work. We are on teams and have 8 weeks to get healthy and we will see what team wins. It's all about losing weight in the contest but i really don't see how that's fair, people can lose inches and stay the same or gain muscle. Blah.. I'm straying away from the subject. lol

bluberrygoo

My husband is really supportive. He is on mfp too. We are doing insanity together and we keep each other on track

jthomps85

I know the feeling. I love my husband, but like me, he could stand to lose a few pounds too. I've been trying to get huim to go to the gym with me or just to eat healthier in general, but he never wants to. He's happy for me when I lose a few pounds, but then he just complains about how he's "too fat to exercise". It drives me nuts!

monroe61

My husband is super supportive! He is far more dedicated then I am...hence him losing 65lbs and we started roughly the same time (actual I was on here longer)

I know if I was so dedicated like him I would be farther along. He cut his calories tremendously and He works out every single day. P90X every night and he runs 3-4 miles every morning before work too.

sfh0wrd

I think everyone's journey is just that-- their OWN.

I am in a weird way blessed that my husband has had his own struggles with weight, having dropped over 100lbs in high school. He isn't into counting calories, and isn't as interested in exercise as I am. But slowly but surely, over the past 2 years since we've been married, his interest in fitness has been increasing. He happily eats whatever I cook, and if he feels like he needs to eat a little more (and he does actually NEED to eat more than me), he'll just have a second serving or eat a piece of fruit, etc. He has told me he loves/hates the fact that I won't keep junk in the house because it really helps him stay on track.

I felt guiltly at first when I'd go to the gym during those precious hours each day that were times that we could actually be together, but he finally convinced me that he'd rather have an hour less with me if it meant I was going to be happier and healthier when we were together.

I dont' know if any of that helps, but I hope that you and your fiancee find a good balance!

SeasideOasis

My boyfriend is incredibly supportive. He also knows I need to be PUSHED sometimes when I am lacking. If he knows I need to workout, he will ride me on it. Some relationships probably couldnt handle this, but I know he is pushing me to better MYSELF for ME. He has lost 15 pounds this year and started gaining some great muscle definition. I have a lot more to lose than he did in general, but him pushing me helps. Plus, I cant have him with better looking abs than I do!!

Have you tried inviting her on walks or runs? Be the one who cooks a home made tasty healthy dinner?

PaleoPath4Lyfe

Heres a question based on my journey, The reason I ask is because My fiance is also cutting down on food as we are getting married next year and she wants to shed a couple of stone. But I an far more strict than she is and I log everything that passes my lips on MFP and whereas she does not. I have only lost 8lbs so far but am really trying to become healthy by running, playing tennis etc... But she never wants to talk about my diet and seems annoyed when im out running.
Its now got to the point where i dont tell her that i have lost weight, i just say that Im the same as last week.

Anyone else had this??

No, my husband is 1000000% in my corner. He has even changed most of his eating habits to the same as mine. He encourages me to work out and be more active.

He even compliments me on my weight loss, which I finally saw in a few pictures he took of me the other night. I was like WOW, I can see my weight loss and he said, "yeah I was telling you......."

You need to sit down and have a heart to heart with her and NOW.

smoten

My husband supports me in anything i do (on the surface), HOWEVER I can tell he gets annoyed. I too am an obsessor. i am all or nothing and he is definitely nothing. he is probably 100 lbs overweight and doesnt even care. He still wants to eat all the bad stuff on the weekends when he is home. i usually can say no but not always. It is very frustrating. i dont expect him to be as into fitness as i am but i would love him to at lease care. I dont know how to bring it up without hurting his feelings so i just keep it all in and try to set the example.
You guys are right though, i think it would bug me too if someone was constantly talking about their calories and such. I think i'm going to limit what i say to the times he, or anyone else asks about it, usually its "how was your run?" or something like that.
I really have no real support except my son, who loves fitness but he's 18 and has no concept of what a struggle it is for a 41 y.o. mom of 3 to find time and energy. So i will continue to check in on MFP and know there are so many of us trying to stay on this path. Good luck to you all!

Amazon_Who

My husband is supportive in theory.
He brings home a lot of junk, love to eat out and is resistant to any dietary changes that affect him. It does make it harder for me. He had triple bypass at age 47 he is now 58 heavier and smokes. I worry about him a lot.

Rae6503

Mine does pretty well. He's REALLY enjoys the improvements to my appearance. He isn't quick to volunteer to watch the kids so I can go to the gym but he doesn't complain too much when I ask him too. He does have this weird competitive thing where he likes to mention how much he used to lift when I tell him of new PRs but I think I might have fixed him from doing this. His fitness goals are a bit different than mine at the moment. He's training for an endurance mountain bike race so he's become a "cardio bunny". He doesn't really get why I don't want to compete with people and do races or something. He keeps suggesting things I should do like swimming or triathlons... He's weird.

traceyjayne64

My hubby is hugely supportive but he makes sure that i know this is my choice and not his. I am trying to lose weight for myself, to make me a happier person, i have become more and more miserable with myself the bigger i have got but he has never ever said anything negative about my weight from my UK size 10 to my UK size 18. We have an extremely 'healthy' relationship (if you know what i mean ) and it doesnt change whatever my size.....its me that FEELS sexier, the smaller i am.

TheDreadedJynx

My husband is pretty awesome. When we met, I had a little bit of a belly but not much (5 3 and 135 lbs). We moved to saint Louis, lived off fast food while we were living in a hotel, and man did the pounds start sticking! He never Harped on me about it or anything, but he's happy I'm doing something about it now, for myself. Every day he comes home and asks if I've worked out yet, probably so he knows if he can hang out in the living room or not but still! He was quite impressed that I've already lost weight, and I think he may start trying a it in the future too. He misses his six pack. Still, I doubt he'll ever be a 'healthy eater', mostly cause he is a carpenter and probably wouldn't get enough calories that way.

Still, he offered me twizzlers and cheese cake last night. Luckily I'm committed!

Also, I have a bit of an addictive personality, so he is quite used to my obsessing.

kgchisholm

My husband has been absolutely incredible. He is naturally lean, but is very committed to fitness and working out, which I think helps. He is constantly supportive, asking me questions about my nutrition and exercise, or complimenting my willpower or new yummy yet healthy recipe. He is also quick to tell me when he notices changes.

Couldn't do it without him!

hellraisedfire

my boyfriend is like your gf. he tries but I don't think he really cares. he eats what I cook, and he rarely logs because "he doesn't know how to find the food". but he doesn't get mad that I cook healthy food either. I guess he's just agreeable to anything.

elsinora

My wife and I go to the gym together and log MFP together and have made great gains together. She's lost 37 lb and I have lost 45. We recently renewed our vows after 25 years of marriage. Things couldn't be better. )

Sweetest post I have read all week. Well done to you both on all accounts x