Where are the positive people?

TexasGirl_Amie

So, I have been reading topics today. Some of the things people post amaze me. I thought that MFP was supposed to be about being healthier and having a support group to help, not tear people down. Deleting friends because of what they consider to be exercise is stupid. If people are just starting out or have very sedentary lifestyles normally and they want to log cleaning or sex or whatever, that is their business. If you don't like it, who cares?

If you want to sit on a high horse and judge people for their choices, find somewhere else to do it. I am not talking about constructive criticism, as we can all use that. I'm talking about being a jerk because someone does it differently than you.

That being said, I am looking for the positive people of MFP. I like my supportive friends (that are still honest) and could always use more. I am supportive and try to give advice as I can without being hateful.

Have a great day fellow MFPers!

A few months ago, I wrote a blog about people being "Enablers". They will say stuff, so they won't hurt the person feelings. However, they should have just kept it real.

MFP is full of "enablers". I use my experience to help others and I am not going to sugarcoat. You can't cherry pick and choose what you want to hear. It doesn't work like that. If I see you eating 1200 calories a day, doing HIIT 6x a week. I am going to call you out on it. If you're are concerned about eating carbs before bed or "spiking" your metabolism with multiple meals, I am going to call you out on it.

Losing weight, losing bodyfat, and getting healthy is already hard enough. Wouldn't it be nice for someone to clear the BS from around you? When I make claims I always back it up with a link to the research. 99% of the people around here recite what they heard and this is dangerous.

I actually agree with you about enablers. I want friends who will be honest with me. As I said before, there is no reason to be an *kitten* about it. You can tell someone something without being rude. That being said, I don't get my feelings hurt easily and prefer people to be blunt. My issue comes when I see people who are just starting out getting chastised for what they are doing. We don't know their story and want to help, so we should gently tell them what they can do different. For most people starting out, it can be overwhelming and they don't take the time to research. People being mean may upset them just enough to make them decide they aren't ready.
I like that you put up links with the research. That's cool and it would be nice if everyone did the same.

raevynn

Feel free to add me lol i only log the excercises i have done and my goal is always to burn atleast 1000 calories per day and consume no more then 1400 however sometimes it gets to 860 calories and 1500 intake calories but but n but lol my highest calorie burn is 1413 calories per day and 1700 intake calories that makes it 287 calories per day consumption and i still feel full though and yeah i have lost 13 pounds in 21 days my gym instructor says ur loseing weight fast thats just coz ur only 18 years old and u should atleast eat 1900 calories if your burning over 800 calories but i dont care and im still on that fast weight loss program.

You must not care about muscle either.

.. or the fact that if you ruin your metabolism at 19, it is fairly ruined for life.

michellebd1980

So, I have been reading topics today. Some of the things people post amaze me. I thought that MFP was supposed to be about being healthier and having a support group to help, not tear people down. Deleting friends because of what they consider to be exercise is stupid. If people are just starting out or have very sedentary lifestyles normally and they want to log cleaning or sex or whatever, that is their business. If you don't like it, who cares?

If you want to sit on a high horse and judge people for their choices, find somewhere else to do it. I am not talking about constructive criticism, as we can all use that. I'm talking about being a jerk because someone does it differently than you.

That being said, I am looking for the positive people of MFP. I like my supportive friends (that are still honest) and could always use more. I am supportive and try to give advice as I can without being hateful.

Have a great day fellow MFPers!

Thanks for this! I agree!

bademasi

Find positve friends with similar goals and focus more on them and less on the forums. Internet forums are a notorious feeding ground for trolls and wankers. This site is no exception, so take what the negative or judgmental people say with a grain of salt. Or better yet, ignore them altogether.

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IronmanPanda

What gets me are the people who get defensive when someone disagrees with them and then proceed to lash out like a child and then play the victim card. First thing people need to realize is that just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean they are personally attacking you. The second thing is, this is the internet. If you start to feel like you're losing it... back away and get off the computer. Easy peasy.

Tamstar1985

unfortunately, on any website with forums, there will always be negativity :$ i try to ignore it, because who knows when someone's having a bad day and takes it out on others, etc.

i always try to be positive and helpful! constructive criticism is great, as long as it's coming from a caring POV - the key word here being "constructive". honesty is the best policy

MissFit0101

there are no positive people here lol
all the shirtless trolls eated them

:laugh:

engineman312

Feel free to add me lol i only log the excercises i have done and my goal is always to burn atleast 1000 calories per day and consume no more then 1400 however sometimes it gets to 860 calories and 1500 intake calories but but n but lol my highest calorie burn is 1413 calories per day and 1700 intake calories that makes it 287 calories per day consumption and i still feel full though and yeah i have lost 13 pounds in 21 days my gym instructor says ur loseing weight fast thats just coz ur only 18 years old and u should atleast eat 1900 calories if your burning over 800 calories but i dont care and im still on that fast weight loss program.

holy run on sentence batman!

KickassAugust

...

JennieAL

My issue comes when I see people who are just starting out getting chastised for what they are doing. We don't know their story and want to help, so we should gently tell them what they can do different. For most people starting out, it can be overwhelming and they don't take the time to research. People being mean may upset them just enough to make them decide they aren't ready.
I like that you put up links with the research. That's cool and it would be nice if everyone did the same.

If someone's upset so that they leave or decide they "aren't ready" then they weren't ready anyway. I was blasted recently on another forum for my sensitive feelings (relatively sensitive, mind you... MFP'ers are softcore compared to this other group I'm referring to) and stubborn attitude. It certainly didn't make me pack up and leave... rather, it set the tone for how I'm going to approach things in that particular forum... they don't take kindly to broscience BS there, and will slap you down quickly for it. Nor are they coddlers, but that's beside the point.

If I get pointed in the right direction after swallowing all the conventional wisdom and broscience nonsense dished out on a regular basis, then I can either take that golden opportunity to start investigating things to find out what's actually current science supported and what's just old science or flat out myth.

If you truly want to CHANGE things for yourself, then you better learn to deal with a little bit of stark honesty at times.

If you just want positivity, well... that's another thing entirely. There are some happy, positive fools out there who are swallowing nonsense everyday.

Btw, I have some very positive friends who support me here. But the ones I respect the most are the ones who would take the extra time to point out to me something I might be doing wrong, or something I might be mistaken about. Or answer the questions I have without feeling like they have to walk on eggshells around me so as not to offend.

TexasGirl_Amie

My issue comes when I see people who are just starting out getting chastised for what they are doing. We don't know their story and want to help, so we should gently tell them what they can do different. For most people starting out, it can be overwhelming and they don't take the time to research. People being mean may upset them just enough to make them decide they aren't ready.
I like that you put up links with the research. That's cool and it would be nice if everyone did the same.

If someone's upset so that they leave or decide they "aren't ready" then they weren't ready anyway. I was blasted recently on another forum for my sensitive feelings (relatively sensitive, mind you... MFP'ers are softcore compared to this other group I'm referring to) and stubborn attitude. It certainly didn't make me pack up and leave... rather, it set the tone for how I'm going to approach things in that particular forum... they don't take kindly to broscience BS there, and will slap you down quickly for it. Nor are they coddlers, but that's beside the point.

If I get pointed in the right direction after swallowing all the conventional wisdom and broscience nonsense dished out on a regular basis, then I can either take that golden opportunity to start investigating things to find out what's actually current science supported and what's just old science or flat out myth.

If you truly want to CHANGE things for yourself, then you better learn to deal with a little bit of stark honesty at times.

If you just want positivity, well... that's another thing entirely. There are some happy, positive fools out there who are swallowing nonsense everyday.

Btw, I have some very positive friends who support me here. But the ones I respect the most are the ones who would take the extra time to point out to me something I might be doing wrong, or something I might be mistaken about. Or answer the questions I have without feeling like they have to walk on eggshells around me so as not to offend.

Good points.

angel79202

feel free to add me

Atate66

*Raises hand* Positive person here! I believe we are all a team here, and should uplift each other in this venture! (Old basketball player here. Hee hee). This has been a battle for me because not only did I go after my weight, I quit smoking AT THE SAME TIME. Blew the myth all to hell that people who quit smoking gain weight. If you ever need a supportive friend who will cheer you on, but keep your butt on the right track, here I am!

rosalang

what a lovely person you are. i hope everyone has taken on board your comments

AZackery

A positive person will never be rude, snarky, etc. and so many people on here are like that. So many people on here feel they have the rights to tell a person what they can and can't do and I don't bow down to no man.

I'm going to be honest, I don't log my food on here. I don't believe in keeping a food diary. I've heard about people keeping a food diaries, way before MFP was ever created. That's not for me. I don't even log my exercise on here, but I do log my exercise somewhere else. I've only written one blog on here so far. I will be writing more as I see fit.

I'm here to motivate and encourage people. I don't have to see anyone's food diary to be supportive of them. I have no rights to tell a person what they can or can't eat. I believe in eating anything that I want, as long as my doctor doesn't tell me I can't have a certain food, because of my health. I believe in following the food pyramid, moderation and portion control. Yes, I eat sweets too.

Some people get crazy, if a MFP states that a person was under their calories. A person doesn't have to eat the amount that MFP has set them to, as long as they are eating a healthy amount of food. 1200 is a healthy amount of calories to be eating. I can see if a person was eating way below that. Yes, I see 1000 and below calories as not being a enough food, but if I am 300 calories under my MFP daily calories, I don't see anything wrong with that. MFP has me set to a higher number of calories than I aim to eat everyday. I aim to eat 1500 calories a day. I know the more intense that I workout, the more I will have to eat, but for now 1500 calories is good. I don't have to eat the high amount of calories that MFP has set me to. I have checked out people on my friend's list calorie amount, when MFP stated they have eaten under their calories and everyone that I have checked were in a healthy range.

If a person wants to log cleaning the house as exercise. Let them. I don't, but trust me, cleaning a house involves squatting, lifting, walking, running, etc. and guess what? All those moves are classified as exercising. So, people need to mind their own business.

The best thing a person can do is put messy person on ignore. I will speak for myself. I don't come here to fight with people. I come here to motivate and encourage people and get the same treatment.

Rahul_ahuja

Feel free to add me lol i only log the excercises i have done and my goal is always to burn atleast 1000 calories per day and consume no more then 1400 however sometimes it gets to 860 calories and 1500 intake calories but but n but lol my highest calorie burn is 1413 calories per day and 1700 intake calories that makes it 287 calories per day consumption and i still feel full though and yeah i have lost 13 pounds in 21 days my gym instructor says ur loseing weight fast thats just coz ur only 18 years old and u should atleast eat 1900 calories if your burning over 800 calories but i dont care and im still on that fast weight loss program.

You must not care about muscle either.

.. or the fact that if you ruin your metabolism at 19, it is fairly ruined for life.

That is scary though thanks for opening my eyes i will now make my calorie intake to 1900 and burn no more then 700 per day is this healthy ???

BeautyFromPain

Positive people can all add me, I have so many negative people in my real life I can use all the positive people I can get

xSophia19

Positive person right here! :bigsmile:

I dont like negative people, they bore me to death :yawn:

Positive people all welcome to add me!!

Lotte34

Here! Hello! Over here! Hub of positivity just here!