Difference in how you are treated

amykathleen2005

Do you ever find that there is a general difference in how people treat you from your highest weight to your lowest (such as job interviews, or in a store)? I don't know if it is in my head but I really feel that people have been nicer and wanting to chat to me now then at my highest, 40 lbs ago.

Any thoughts?

NotGoddess

Apparently I've been hit on twice in the past week. Or so my friends who observed told me later. I was completely oblivious at the time (and still skeptical). Guys (strangers) do seem to want to talk to me more than in the past.

gashinshotan

people dont take fat people seriously most of the time... they either view fat people as being the funny guys/girls or just as being losers.... except the majority of adults are now fat hahaha so its really becoming a minority view... now how do fat people view other fat people?

harebearva

I have definitely noticed the same thing. These days total strangers seem to strike up conversations much more often. I've often thought... should this bother me that they didn't do this when I was overweight...but yes. I have noticed too.

trixirn

It might be that you are more confident and outgoing now so others are responding to that.

gashinshotan

Nah - people really respect you more if you're not obese... the way the same people treated me before and after I lost 30lbs was night and day...

It might be that you are more confident and outgoing now so others are responding to that.

pauljsolie

Definitely treated differently in stores.

Anomalia

I've never really been overweight but I have noticed that when I am feeling better about myself and exuding more confidence then people definitely respond more positively to me.

moushtie

I am and always have been a pretty confident "fat girl", and rarely have any problem with people taking me seriously. It helps if you're fit enough to stand up straight and walk with confidence. Only a few idiots seem to have a problem with me. And I get hit on... I've even had to turn down a few offers!

BIGJIMMYU

It is a shame that society judges heavier people as lazy or less attractive. But it does.

HeidiRene

I honestly think the only difference in the way I am treated comes from my confidence level. The better I look the more confident I am and people respond to that.

kepete

There is a huge difference ... A top exec talks to me now who never did before, the door is held for me & clerks in clothing stores are ready & willing to help even when I don't want them neat me! Is it the self-esteem or is it the new look?

anniej89

I notice a definite difference in how I'm treated, even in my office. I get picked for teams and projects now that I was totally overlooked for before and I've noticed a huge difference in the way I'm talked to. Now, the thing that seems to prove to me that it is solely my weight is that I work in a call center and customers still treat me exactly the same. The downside is that now I have to deal with a lot of unwanted male attention as well. Which is both unwelcome and bothersome.

15in8

Yup there is a difference. I think the above poster is right as well though. The way the world views us has changed, but the way we view ourselves and how we perceive other peoples behavior towards us is changing/changed.

pastryari

I think there is a difference because of confidence. I also think that when people see you change from "fat/large to thin/healthy/skinny/whatever", it looks like you are taking on more accountability, control of life, and just care more. My brother is in the marine corps & his superiors used to get on them about looking presentable & he told me how one time a superior said that civilians are sloppy and have no pride in how they look. I think this is true sometimes. I think that's where the confidence comes into play. You get healthier, become more confident and therefore make an effort to look better and take pride in yourself. Just my two cents.

Biomisty

I really think is is a little bit of both. If you feel better you are more confident and therefore people do talk to you more but lets face it beutiful people have it easier in a social setting. Had a girl tell me once she wished she wasn't as pretty as she is b/c people won't leave her alone... and knowing her as I do she wasn't being conceded.

Michellerawrrr

I have noticed a huge difference in how I am treated. Sometimes it can be really uncomfortable, sometimes it's really flattering :blushing:. Girls are not always so nice about it though, meaning the ones that have not started there own weight loss journey's. Mostly I get asked "what is the magic pill you are taking?". Ummm it's called diet and exercise, oh ya and MFP...:laugh:. Overall it's an amazzzzing feeling and I will never go back!!

mamagooskie

I feel like I am treated better now than when I was big but I also have more confidence and feel better about myself so maybe its just me giving off a better presentation and others are responding accordingly.

Pamela3

Most definately!!! However, it could also be that your viewpoint of the world and people also changed due to an increase in confidence.

When I was 255, I was angry and I made sure my face let the world know... no one opened doors for me, was nice to me, etc..

When I lost all of that weight and was 166, I had voluntarily putting air in my tires for me when I pulled up to do it myself, doors were opened for me, people smiled and said hi, etc..

I'm currently 212 and still have a good portion of the confidence I gained once I lost the weight the first time and I notice that some of the behavior has gone again, but for the most part people are nice, and will smile, say hi and still open doors for me.

I think it's partly due to weight and partly due to how you carry yourself and your overall confidence.

thirtyandthriving

Ive noticed a difference in how people that I know react to me. People in general are nicer, and flirt more. The people that I know that are heavier seem not to talk to me as much anymore or have a different attitude towards me.

gymshoe42

Most definately!!! However, it could also be that your viewpoint of the world and people also changed due to an increase in confidence.

^^this is a big part of it...how you carry yourself. If you glow with confidence, people will pick that up and interact with you differently than if you carry around a negative aura.

Case in point... there are a lot of heavy set people who are well respected .... oprah?

ElizabethRoad

Confidence makes a huge difference in how you are treated. I've never been all that big but I know when I'm feeling good about myself, strangers will strike up a conversation. When I'm not doing well emotionally, even if I make a point to smile and be pleasant, I am treated differently. So don't rule that out.

But, not every overweight person lacks confidence, and losing weight doesn't necessarily give it to you. Overweight people are treated differently, and I'm sure that for the most part, people aren't aware they're doing it.

Monti_e_lmt

I offer a reverse perspective. 2 years ago, I was 30 or 40 lbs lighter and I gained weight at a stressful job, ever since then people in stores treat me like trash. It has nothing to do with confidence because I am normally bubbly and joking with my mom in public and I try not to show how they make me feel when they are so rude to me. I am trying to lose my job weight AND an extra 40 lbs. Hope I will get treated better. Oh and at work, if a client sees me for the first time, you should see the way they look at me, but their attitude usually changes by the time I am done massaging them.When will people see the beauty in others based on their hearts, not their bodies.

helloiloveukitty

Rando people (except some women) treat me SOOOOOOOO much better and I was never really treated badly before. Friends who are still overweight or obese have pulled away,

DawnOf1969

Definitely noticed a difference from when I was 50 pounds heavier. People are nicer, men (of all ages, even teenagers) hold doors for me, men flirt and smile at me and make conversation with me in the produce aisles. That never happened when I was 50 lbs heavier. I get treated differently even by women sales clerks in clothing stores or Dillards or Macys. So yeah, I've noticed a huge difference and I really like it.

lollypops09

You are so right. Some people are nicer and more accepting. Which hurts just as much by unintentionally emphasizing how those same people made me feel like I was not good enough. The people that truly matter realized my weight was more from the hurts in my heart and loved me into being healthy again. As the weight melts off I pray my heart heals toward those nice people also.

CoryIda

I used to be ignored and avoided.
Now I have the opposite happen - recently I was at the grocery store and it was packed. I was in the middle of one of the checkout lines and the manager came up to me, pulled me aside, opened a lane just for me, and closed it after I checked out, because he "didn't want my to have to wait so long."
That was bizarre and probably the most extreme example, but people DEFINITELY treat me a lot different now.

I would prefer something in the middle, to be perfectly honest, since excessive attention makes me uncomfortable, but it has made me more determined than ever not to let my own behavior be dictated by the appearance of others since I know how unfair it is.

meshashesha2012

i never noticed any difference from when i was thin and when i became overweight, and i still get hit on by about the same amount of guys as before. but i attribute that more to the fact that my personality is still the same. i'm pretty outgoing (which gets mistaken for flirtation very often) and being part caribbean and raised in the midwest i'm fairly free with a smile and a hello.

Aphreal

I never notice things like this. My husband tells me that men look when I look better but I don't notice. I think partly is because I have a low self esteem and typically look at the floor when I am out and walking around. I don't look at people.

soniaa777

it might be from the way you carry yourself now as opposed to 40 lbs a ago. a happier you perhaps

spapsidero

I too have always been a confident big girl. I believe people perceive u in a better light when u are confident. If u feel like ur not as good as others u will be treated that way by others. I have always been with good looking fit men. Men think confidence is very sexy.