Hypocrite problem

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2

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  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    I think that "dating an ex" rule depends on the girl. [...] It totally depends on the girl and on how she feels about it. Honestly, is a guy worth upsetting your friend?

    This. For some friends this situation is ok, but it's very clear to your best friend that seeing you date her ex (regardless of whether she's done it to someone else) would hurt her.

    If you seriously want this guy, and to be honest you've got the whole "it just happened" scenario lined up waiting to shoot - but if you seriously want to date him, you need to have the decency to sit your friend down and tell her to her face. "I think I'm into [guy's name]." Don't be a puss and act like you're just going on a hike and "oops we fell for each other". Even in this post you've not yet stated that you would NOT date him. Instead, you seem to want validation for your feelings.

    So be a "big girl" and handle your friend with respect. She deserves it. I've been friends with the same woman since she was a 10 year old girl (23 years now). I've never kept a boyfriend for more than 7 years. Remember who sticks around and loves you forever.
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
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    I think that "dating an ex" rule depends on the girl. [...] It totally depends on the girl and on how she feels about it. Honestly, is a guy worth upsetting your friend?

    This. For some friends this situation is ok, but it's very clear to your best friend that seeing you date her ex (regardless of whether she's done it to someone else) would hurt her.

    If you seriously want this guy, and to be honest you've got the whole "it just happened" scenario lined up waiting to shoot - but if you seriously want to date him, you need to have the decency to sit your friend down and tell her to her face. "I think I'm into [guy's name]." Don't be a puss and act like you're just going on a hike and "oops we fell for each other". Even in this post you've not yet stated that you would NOT date him. Instead, you seem to want validation for your feelings.

    So be a "big girl" and handle your friend with respect. She deserves it. I've been friends with the same woman since she was a 10 year old girl (23 years now). I've never kept a boyfriend for more than 7 years. Remember who sticks around and loves you forever.

    ^^ This
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
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    Jerry, Jerry.
  • slayerdan
    slayerdan Posts: 193
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    Sounds about appropriate behavior for teens.....glad you brought this to the weight loss site. Maybe you should ditch them all for a whole new set of friends.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    Would you be okay with her going out with your Ex?
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    I would never date a friends ex, and I would expect my friends never to date an ex of mine!! End of!

    The moral is yours, not hers.

    Good luck and enjoy the hike :flowerforyou:
  • muffin_shufflin
    muffin_shufflin Posts: 239 Member
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    Sounds about appropriate behavior for teens.....glad you brought this to the weight loss site. Maybe you should ditch them all for a whole new set of friends.

    You do realize it's in the "chit-chat" section, right? So I can post anything. If you have a problem with what sounds like my "appropriate teen behavior", you can leave the thread :wink:

    And to the girl that said I hadn't once said I wouldn't date him, I didn't say it because I don't know. As of right now, no I wouldn't. But down the line, who knows? You can't help who you fall for.

    Thanks for all the replies, guys :smile:
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
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    So my best friend is being the hugest hypocrite on Earth right now. She broke up with her boyfriend after some not so good stuff went down. She now has a new boyfriend, so she's basically diappeared for the most part. Well her ex & I are going hiking on Friday. I told her about it a few days ago & she was completely fine with it. Then last night she suddenly ambushes me with questions like "Do you like him" "Would you date him" & then proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't & it'd be messed up if I did. Now before everyone jumps on me & says i'm in the wrong, let me just mention that her current boyfriend is the ex of her old best friend. And she hooked up with another ex of that same friend. So does she really have any right to tell me I couldn't date him? Not saying anything will happen anyways, it's a hike for god sakes. But IF it did, could she really tell me I can't?

    Hmmm where do I start :laugh: First off, go for it!
    Long story short....
    My wife and I started dating after my girlfriend, who she was friends with, and I broke up. It wasn't right away, bout 8 or 9 months later. She freaked out, she eventually got over it and they are back to being friends now.
    We got married, going on 6 years now.

    Edited to add; the ex girlfriend moved on right away to dating a handful of different guys
  • Antigone
    Antigone Posts: 70 Member
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    You make a very good point :) It just annoys me that she's trying to tell me I can't when she's the one that cheated & left him. And was with two of her friend's exs. They've been broken up for months & she's completely happy with her new boyfriend. I understand the friendship part. But still.. I don't think she has room to talk.

    I honestly don't think I could be freinds with somebody so petty, who clearly had no hard feelings about doing to other people exactly what she's accusing you of. I'd kick her to the curb before she does it to you.
  • Antigone
    Antigone Posts: 70 Member
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    I should add, my husband of four years (we've been together 10 years) shortly dated a friend of mine, I set them up! Doesn't bother any of us and I'm still friends with her. If she acted the way your friend is, I'd have stopped being friends with her. I have FAR more important things to deal with, an immature jealous friend is at the bottom of that list.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    doesn't matter if she did it..

    have more respect for your friendship (than she did for hers).

    if it didn't bother her, then i'd say go for it but it obviously does. bros before ho's always.
  • jimmie25
    jimmie25 Posts: 266
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    Oh man... :D The only guy I'd ditch every friend for is Johnny Depp.... yeah well.

    My personal opinion is that friends exs are not to be touched. but it's difficult to say what i would do if i was totally head over heels with a friends ex. thank god this hasn't happened to me yet.
  • p0pr0cksnc0ke
    p0pr0cksnc0ke Posts: 1,283 Member
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    Sounds like you guys need to expand your social circle quite a bit.
  • muffin_shufflin
    muffin_shufflin Posts: 239 Member
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    Oh man... :D The only guy I'd ditch every friend for is Johnny Depp.... yeah well.

    My personal opinion is that friends exs are not to be touched. but it's difficult to say what i would do if i was totally head over heels with a friends ex. thank god this hasn't happened to me yet.

    Oh my god, Johnnyyy. :heart:
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
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    The only thing I can say is she is dating the ex-man of an EX - FRIEND. Need I say more. IF you like this friendship, then you need to step back.
  • spikesmom
    spikesmom Posts: 441 Member
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    I would never date a friends ex, and I would expect my friends never to date an ex of mine!! End of!

    The moral is yours, not hers.

    Good luck and enjoy the hike :flowerforyou:

    This! I was going to say that I don't let other people's behavior dictate mine. Have your own moral compass and follow it, regardless of what she would or would not do. You are the one who will have to deal with your own thoughts about your own behavior 24/7.
  • swordsmith
    swordsmith Posts: 599 Member
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    But she's kind of selfish & wants everything to go her way. Even getting in the way of a chance for other people (especially people she's hurt) to be happy.

    Point of order - that's not a friend.
  • MrDude_1
    MrDude_1 Posts: 2,510 Member
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    If you think its "just a hike" and thats all...

    hey, want to go on a hike?
  • muffin_shufflin
    muffin_shufflin Posts: 239 Member
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    If you think its "just a hike" and thats all...

    hey, want to go on a hike?

    It is "just a hike". Kay thanks :laugh:
  • Wileyjoe
    Wileyjoe Posts: 282
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    Does he like Wheaties?

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