A question for the ladies....

dnewton123

Does every woman have a best friend or is every woman supposed to have a best friend?
I've had close friends through school and college but haven't had a really close friend or a best friend since college and that was some time ago. I have co-workers, associates, but no one that I would really consider a best friend. I ask this question because I talking to a co-worker and in our conversation she seemed so surprised that I didn't have a best gal pal to do "girl things" with like vacations, spa, mani-pedi, and just hanging out. Don't get me wrong I've tried to maintain the friendships that I've had but either relocation, change in personality ( they get so consumed in the men they are with or marry that they lose themselves), or our interests change so it dies off. I still speak to old friends but no one close now. What is your take on the adult BFF?

DorothyR87

I persoanlly never got along well with girls. In college I joined a sorority in attempts to make more female friends but the relationships didn't last when it all eneded. I've always had a better friendship with guys, but since getting married I haven't maintained that becuase I know my husband wasn't the fondest of it. So honestly I don't have any people that I would say are my best friends, just a few casual friends.

wendyannie1976

I have good true friends but best female friends nope, but i tend to get on better with men as friends and well i just can't stand anyone being in my life all the time, my daughter is and thats as much as my personal space can take but i'm a bit of a natural hermit when it actually comes to seeing people

R_is_for_Rachel

nope, and i do sometimes feel rather sad that i don't-esepc when i see other women who have best mates and how lovely those type of friendships are.

it's not even just having someone to do girly stuff with, i would love to just have one mate i can talk to about anything

i had a best mate at school and we stayed great friends until a few years ago-our lives have just gone in opposite directions and we live miles away.

I'm glad i have a wonderful partner, but there are some things that he just doesn't understand (and men just don't listen-they always have to have a solution for your woes!)

ElizabethRoad

is every woman supposed to have a best friend?

Who would be the authority in charge of making this rule?

NYCDutchess

I have one best friend that I've had for 34 years and one that I've had for 17 years. I have other AMAZING friends that are more recent. I find the reliable girl friends necessary. With my bestie Gina, I can go months without seeing her, but the minute we're together it's like we haven't missed a beat. My other bestie Martha is my travel partner. We have similar vacation styles so we can go anywhere. My other bestie Dee is my fun partner! We work together and we are just similar in the right way! We have so much fun together.

stacyfoo

I've known my best friends for at least 13 years now. One lives 4 hours away in Ohio and the other is in Texas. Female and male, respectively. They are my best friends not because of the stuff we get to do together, because to be honest - i hate that female bonding b.s, but because we understand each other. We can stop talking for months or years, then pick back up where we left off. There's never any grudges or hurt feelings. It's truly as if they're an extension of myself.

quixoticmantis

I don't have a 'best friend'. I'd be hard pressed to say that I have friends at all - more like acquaintances This doesn't bother me ....I've never gotten along with other females and I prefer the company of males.

I can honestly say that my 'BFF' is my boyfriend.

CharlieBarleyMom

I need her. We became friends 11 years ago when I rented a home that she owned. I bought my own home 1 year later and we continued to be close and now best friends.

We had a falling out 6 years ago that lasted for 5 years... until I finally got up the courage to contact her and tell her how much I missed her... and she missed me too.

In that 5 year period I had my other best friend, who is male, but he and I also ran into problems (his new girlfriend) and so we cooled it until they broke up...

I can honestly say that having a best girlfriend (even though we don't go get mani/pedis together ~ we're not girly like that!) to talk to, to bounce things off of, to believe in me, to be able to call when I just need to explode, to have a beer together, to expound on a book together, to lend a helping hand to, to reach out to in my most dire moments.... yeah, I missed that... and I'm so GLAD to have it back!

But, you have to be able to connect with the person... I had a couple "friends" through the 5 lean years but they were no substitute for a real BEST FRIEND!

hlandry6

I have friends but no "best friend"....The one that I thought was my best friend slowly drifted away =/ It bums me out on days that I want to go shopping, go to the beach, or just hang out...

marycmeadows

i would say I do not have a bff now..... my friends have also become so wrapped up in their men and kids that they lose themselves and do not know how to take time for themselves.

ocrere

I think you need a close friend, maybe not a BFF but a really close friend. That is my take....... I currently have a close, close friend. Not a bestie but close. But that is mostly because I do not get close enough to people but I am trying to change that.

paigemarie93

I moved away from all my friends two years ago, I don't have a best friend & have never been on a night out, I turn 19 this year & I feel like I've wasted what I had left of my teenage years. I'd love to have a best friend/solid group of friends. There's no where to go to make friends :[

shenning321

I persoanlly never got along well with girls. In college I joined a sorority in attempts to make more female friends but the relationships didn't last when it all eneded. I've always had a better friendship with guys, but since getting married I haven't maintained that becuase I know my husband wasn't the fondest of it. So honestly I don't have any people that I would say are my best friends, just a few casual friends.

This is about the same situation as me- there are a few girls that I talk to if I see them out somewhere but no strong friendships because I just never got along well with girls. I got along better with guys and had plenty of close guy friends but my boyfriend just didn't understand that and was uncomfortable with it so those friendships have dwindled as well.

MissVCI

I'm guess i'm going against the grain here. I've had the same best friend since diapers. Her father and my father were childhood friends and stayed close obviously.
And we have been through everything together. She's like a second sister to me.
I don't know how i would have made it through high school without her because I had no other friends.
I have other good girlfriends too. But I have one true blue BFF and happy that I do.

I've never been able to hold onto a platonic male friend.

robinxhope

I'm not a fan of people that make assumptions about what someone else's norm should be.

itsgood

I never was the BFF type, I've always needed distance and solitude. Love to get together, have lots of good friends, but that exclusivity is too much for my liking. And truthfully, it rings shallow when people throw the term around as liberally as some do.

littleworm23

Nope for me also. My husband is my best friend and I spend most of my time with him and the kids. I still have one girl friend that I have been good friends with (best friends at one time) for over 20 years but we both grew up and had families and very rarely see each other. We keep in contact just not often. Other than that I have one other good friend that I talk to regularly (but he is a guy) and I see/talk to my mom almost every day.

HauteP1nk

A bestfriend doesn't have to be female...can be male...can be your husband, your mom, your dad, your grandparent, etc. It is the one person that you know you can tell anything to without fear of being judged, the one person that will make you laugh when all you want to do is cry...the person you can go to for a shoulder to cry on, the person you can be yourself around, etc.

I think having a true friend is important, but I also think you can have more than one. I go to certain people for certain things. My fiance is the person I can pretty much tell anything to...but when I want to complain about my fiance...well that is why my good friend Adrianna is there! LOL

serenity216

Honestly, I think that after adulthood (unless you are one of those rare people that has a long term friendship that just hangs on and doesn't change) I think the expectation of one "female bestie" is unrealistic. The only people in my life I consider to be my best friends right now are my husband and my "fur child." Otherwise I have a small group of friends I consider myself to be closest to and then I have friends that fit certain areas of my life that I might see 3-4 times a year. In addition I have friends I do specific activities with (Bargain hunting, cooking, exercising), etc.

iishnova

I'm not sure how old you have to be to qualify for having "adult best friends"

My best friend I've known for going on 13 years now. There were 8 years in the middle with very little to no contact. No falling out, she just moved away. When we saw each other again after those 8 years we picked up right were we left off. I have other very close female friends that I have known for years, but just the one best friend. My father keeps telling me he can see us growing old together lol. My sister, who is 12 years older than me, has a best friend also that she has known since high school and they spend at least one night a week together hanging out.

On the other hand my mother doesn't have a best friend. HER mother, however, did have a best friend. They actually passed away within months of each other.

BarbWhite09

I don't like most females...From Preschool to my senior year of HS my best friend was a guy (Were still friends we just never get to see eachother anymore) I just don't connect with girls really...If they wanted me to sit around & watch chick flicks & talk about babies, I'd probably stab myself! Lol

chrissismone

I don't have friends period so def no bestie. I'm way to sad as some call it to have friends or to maintain friendships. This was on my to-do list for 2012 to maintain friendships but as of late that hasn't been the case. It would be nice to have someone to go out with or whatnot or someone who checks in but alas the life of the horrid doesn't play nice with the social cute scene. Now that I have been without for so long I don't think it would work as I go mia for a while, Im a introvert so it's mandatory for me to go off the grid in order to recoup..

kimtpa1417

My bestie and I have been best friends since freshman in high school almost 20 yrs ago. She is getting married, i am her made of honor and when i get married she will be mine. My other bestie lives in Arkansas we dont talk everyday but we can pick up like I just spoke to her..... i dont know what i would do without either of them.

running_mom

I had a best friend growing up until I was about 18. Then she decided to become a *kitten* and get all crazy! I've been going through a lot with my divorce and I wish I would have had someone close to talk to or just go to to get my mind off of things. I have coworkers that I talk to about things and I know they don't judge me. It's all about putting yourself out there. I pretty much lost all of my friends in the divorce because they were the wives my exhusbands friends. They say that they are not going to "pick" between us but stuff like that happens.

Anyway, if you are ok with your life and you don't feel like you are missing out on anything then don't worry! There are people who need lots of friends and go between groups and thats cool. Your versitle. There's also people who are connected to one person and thats ok too. Whatever makes you happy : )

fiberartist219

My hubs is my best friend.... I have some very close lady friends, but we don't go get manicures together. They can talk me off a ledge if I'm upset and they show up to cheer me on in my proudest moments, but we don't do spa day or go shopping or any of that crap. I prefer to paint my nails in solitude.

There is nothing odd about having a lot of guy friends or having your significant other be your bestie.

It is only odd if you have no friends at all.

Jorra

No one NEEDS anything but food and shelter. There are no rules about how to live your personal life. There's nothing wrong with not having a best friend as long as you are happy.

rugbyphreak

i do not have a best friend, or at least not a human one... i'd love to have a best chick or gay friend, but i don't have the time to find one and every time i meet someone new, they already have a bff. good luck on your search!

MelissaL582

I actually don't have any close female best friends. I've moved around so much. I would love a few to spend "girl time" with but it's tough. I have "close" friends via text messaging and some I stay in contact with from high school but that's it.

katherinemm31

My two best friends are from college and live in Massachusetts (too far away). One is female, one is a gay male. And of course, there is my husband, but that's a little different. Gender doesn't matter to me. It's not about gender.

Crazy4Healthy

I too have female acquaintances and have found it's easier to have male friends. This doesn't always workout so well when I want to do girlie things. I'm surrounded by men\boys even at home, who I think sometimes forget I am a girl. Some of that could be my own doing. Good to hear that others seem to be in the same boat. I can't say I'm unhappy, it just is what it is. I'm not really girlie anyway, so I guess it works out.